Student felled by moose head sues
Back in my day, when we had too much beer, we simply puked, passed out, dragged our sorry asses to classes the next day, and got on with our lives.
An American student is suing her university for negligence after a mounted moose head fell on her from a wall during a biology exam.
Oops, my bad. Well, look . . . what kind of sicko would mount a moose head in the first place? If this is the sort of thing they’re teaching in biology at American universities these days then I . . .
Amy Walters was peering through a microscope when the stuffed trophy fell, hitting the side of her head.
She says she has suffered from headaches ever since, and is suing for “loss of enjoyment of life” and “embarrassment and humiliation”.
Oh, well that’s a horse of a different color. I think it’s terrible that people would embarrass or humiliate someone because . . .
The “moose head with antlers” fell from the wall, knocking Ms Walters into a chair, whereupon the hunting relic landed in her lap, it said.
Hahahahahaha! Sorry.
It appears that this attack was unprovoked by any particular anti-moose action or sentiment on the part of the victim. Nevertheless, one has to take into account the history of violence against meese perpetrated by the human race as a whole. Given the background, who can really blame the moose? We need to get to the root causes and . . .
Hahahahaha! Sorry. It’s totally inappropriate, I know but . . . . I denounce it! Hahahahaha! I do hope that Ms. Walters wins a large award and that her headaches subside. Hahahahaha!
Also . . .
Imaginary holocaust victim’s father attempted to obtain visas in 1941.
On this day in 1984, freak accident.
I sense a disturbance in the force. Tom Maguire’s claiming that HE’S Time’s Man of the Year on the masthead of his site. On the other hand, he’s got all the details of the Libby trial and how it’s being played in the MSM. All I can say is SOMEBODY is a lying bastard.
Seth Stevenson at Slate details testimony regarding various people “freaking out” in the trial.
It may be that Amy Walters owes a little more on her tuition, given that she has discovered in a Biology class the fundamental Physics lesson that Gravity Still Works….
..despite the effortsof74 Democrats to decry it…
Obviously her body exercised attraction over the moose head.
How about Them Moose Goosers,
Ain’t they recluse?
Up in them boondocks,
Goosin’ them moose.
Goosin’ them huge moose,
Goosin’ them tiny,
Goosin’ them meadow-moose
In they hiney.
Look at Them Moose Goosers,
Ain’t they dumb?
Some use an umbrella,
Some use a thumb.
Them obtuse Moose Goosers,
Sneakin’ through the woods,
Pokin’ them snoozy moose
In they goods.
How to be a Moose Gooser?
It’ll turn ye puce.
Gitchy gooser loose and
Rouse a drowsy moose!
-Mason Williams
I’m tempted to quote from the opening credits of The Holy Grail, about how serious moose bites can be, but heh, the damage has been done….
And if the moose head had a history of falling, I’d say the hanger of the head should, well, hang his head in shame and then hang his moose head better.
No moose heads, no peace!
No moose heads, no peace!
No moose heads, no peace!
“then began its crude dance, freely laying her bare….”
I was going to post a joke about a flying squirrel but I got nothin’.
“Watch me pull a rabbit out of your lap!”
“Again?”
Including the majestik møøse.
A Møøse once bit my sister…
Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti…
Funny moose…(for Fawlty Towers fans only);
Manuel: How are you, sir. I can speak English. Hello, Major. How are you today?
Major: Er … er … er … I’m fine, thank you.
Manuel: Is a beautiful day today.
Major: Er … is it? Yes, yes, I suppose it is.
Manuel: I speak English. I learn it from a book.
I apologize profusely. I couldn’t help it.
People that know me know I have an affinity for Moose.
Unclean , moose loving Scandi gnome abuser !
Do you suppose the moose-loving has anything to do with the gnome-abusing?
‘Cause I just wouldn’t put it past a gnome abuser to love moose. Or vice versa.
And I’ll bet they all love soccer, too.
Yeah, soccer is pretty cool.
Wait… what are you saying?
Moose buggering , gnomicidal maniac .
She found it so humiliating, she needed to tell the world!
Well, to be fair, mooseheads are enormous. You are in for a good squishing if one falls off the wall and hits you.
I was looking for my pal Rocky and found a beaver instead!