Word comes in that archaeologists have uncovered the remains of the settlement the builders of Stonehenge likely inhabited, and that it appears that large groups congregated there for ritual purposes. It also appears that these groups were rather piggish about disposing of their party waste, which is viewed as a boon by the scientists. No word about the relative affluence of banshees so far.
Now that “big names including Leonardo Di Caprio, Orlando Bloom, KT Tunstall, Pink, The Killers, Razorlight and Josh Hartnett have thrown their weight behind the worldwide effort to beat climate change,” I think it’s only a matter of weeks before Thom Yorke begins organizing Cool-a-Palooza! (or possibly Gaia-Palooza!). Will Kate Moss put her weight behind it?
Of course, the sound system will be powered entirely by windmills, and of course the audience will pack out all of their trash, and every jot will be recycled, and none of the congregants will display the kind of orgiastic, slovenly overconsumption of those dreadful neolithic Stonehengers. That’s a given. Will Mobius Dick be there? I don’t know. But I’m wondering how you envision the festivities. Please contribute your clairvoyance below.
Also, Isaac Schrodinger is a haramaphobe-phobe. (His name even ends in “dinger”!)
Dan, the global warming horseshit is getting very deep. It is colder than I can remember in New Englands recent memory and they actually have the gall to keep spewing this puke????
What a bunch of tools, what maroons, what nimrods – he says chanelling Bugs Bunny the great prophet. All hail the prophet Bugs – nyah whats up doc?
The only true prophet, bolivar, is the jug-eared Easter Island head of Obama, infidel!
I’m with Bolivar. I will prove to you neocons that global warming is real and caused by Bush and corporate Amerikkka, that is as soon as Pink and I dig my car out of the snowbank.
I’ve seen Sean Penn operate a boat, think he can do any better with a shovel?
Hey, there’s a Starbucks over there, baby. Want I should get us a couple of mochas?
[Insert obvious joke about Kate Moss putting her weight behind something here.]
The exact same piggish sty of a garbage dump, but instead of cow bones, the remains of poor, innocent Tofus.
So I’m guessing that the joyous presentations of raided cigarette lighters would be inappropriate at this venue?
Come to think of it, smoking anything seems counterproductive and counter to carbon neutrality based activities.
I guess everyone will have to settle for ‘ludes…
(buncha funists)
$#&%*@#$& raised
People for the Ethical Treatment of Tofus
So, Stonehenge was built by neocons? They’re everywhere, I tell ya!
Sign. They’re paleoneocons, Pablo.
And that sign was meant to be a sigh.
Tofu is white. I don’t see how it can be innocent.
Or do they make it white by breeding it in crates, like veal? I hadn’t considered that.
I love that they named this new movement “Global Cool”, thereby assuring that it isn’t, and will never gain traction with the crowd which rightly names what is and isn’t cool. Teenagers.
Exactly. If you have to advertise that something is “cool” you’re pretty much admitting straight-up that it’s not. This will probably go over big with the late 20s latte crowd, but that’s it.
Cool Ranch Doritos seem to have done okay.
“Global Cool” by the same people who brought us “Orinoco Flow.”