Search






Jeff's Amazon.com Wish List

Archive Calendar

November 2024
M T W T F S S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
252627282930  

Archives

a CITIZEN JOURNALIST investigates yet another winter snowfall

Somebody go fetch me Al Gore.  And tell him to bring along a goddamned shovel.  Because it seems one of the bastard’s disintegrating polar ice caps is covering my driveway again, and I need to get to the grocery store for some Cheddar Chex mix before kickoff.

Developing…

43 Replies to “a CITIZEN JOURNALIST investigates yet another winter snowfall”

  1. Jeff Goldstein says:

    By the way, I’m going to be watching the games today, so if any of you out there with access want to put up posts in my absence, please help yourselves.

    In fact, I encourage it.  Lends the place character.

  2. Drumwaster says:

    Yeah, they’re a bunch of characters, all right…

  3. Jim in KC says:

    So I’m going to be in Denver for a couple of hours today.  Anything in the airport that I simply must see while I have the opportunity?

  4. harrison says:

    But, doesn’t it feel warmer to you?

  5. Pablo says:

    How about some shameless gloating after the Patriots game?

  6. Gabriel Malor says:

    harrison, that’s just Al Gore’s head getting ready to explode.

  7. Good Lord, jeff, it’s a half inch.  Don’t be a wuss.

  8. Alice H says:

    Half an inch?  We’ve got three inches in Thornton so far, with no signs of letting up.

    I had to send an invoice out today, and all I had left were the snowflake stamps that the post office sells for people who are afraid to announce their affiliation with a particular holiday (funny, they were sold out of the Virgin Mary stamps but had tons of the snowflake stamps).  I almost didn’t mail out the invoice because who the hell am I to send out another snowflake into this mess?  But then I thought about our $250 Xcel bill last month.

    Jim, there’s nothing magnificent to see in the Denver airport, but it’s not as trashy as some airports.  Amusing to walk around.  If you get really stuck there, as in for days, post a message here and one of the local readers might come bail you out, if anyone can actually get to the airport.

  9. gahrie says:

    I hear there’s an image of Jesus next to the third urinal in the men’s room in the departure lounge.

  10. Jeff Goldstein says:

    We’ve got 2-3 inches or so here, and it looks like it’s snowing harder now.

  11. Polar Bears says:

    We are the cute guys who drink coke and play with penguins.  Because it is all about hard science and we know Al Gore would not lie.

  12. Jim in KC says:

    I hear there’s an image of Jesus next to the third urinal in the men’s room in the departure lounge.

    Excellent! Looks a little like Willie Nelson, right?

    I’m hoping not to get stuck anywhere–we got ~6” of snow last night, but it’s warm enough that it’s melting off the trees right now, so planes should be good to go. 

    I just thought maybe there was something like a glass wall where you could see the automated, computerized luggage-losing system in action, something like that.  In KC, the hot tip is to look down–the terazzo floors are worth millions.

  13. Jeff Goldstein says:

    If you hit one of the airport bars you’re likely to meet some woman who at one time or another rebuffed my advances.

  14. Dan Collins says:

    Bloody rebuffers are everywhere, I tell you.

  15. Gabriel Malor says:

    Dan, you’ve gotta learn to stop beating them up when they say “no.”

    (Too far?)

  16. Billll says:

    Jim: Wander the coucourses, and notice the partially-eaten remains of the travelers who’ve been trapped there since the first blizzard, what? 4 weeks ago? And we’ve had one every single week since. No respite. Just like the Superdome.

    Jeff: Ever notice that whenever AlBore shows up to warn us about global warming, the weather turns cold and sets records? This happened in Canada, LA, Austrailia, everywhere the man goes, he brings a cold front with him.

    I was supposed to be shooting some outdoor video for a new kids toy today.

    Right.

  17. Polar Bears says:

    I recently caught and devoured three ring neck seals and one PETA volunteer (she was a little bony for my taste) ever since Al Gore started pontificating.  Thanks Al.  Keep up the good work. 

    It is all about hard science and sufficient calories.  Come to think of it, Gore is looking a little on the plump side.  Hmmm.

  18. Gray says:

    Go see the wierdo ‘New World Order’ paintings off the concourse with the little white kids in glass coffins; spectres with gasmasks and AK-47’s and all the brown people warshipping the lotus.

    Not kidding.  It’s weird….

  19. Bill D. Cat says:

    You guys leave partially eaten travelers just lying around public places ? Hmmmmm ……what your stance on moonbats ?

  20. Rusty says:

    Well. We got about an inch of snow here this morning and it’s still too much. I’m going out this afternoon and bust up some old refrigerators. I don’t care if if I have to break into houses to do it either. cause, ya know, it’s for the environment.

  21. clarice says:

    Bummer, Jeff–the driveway and the women in the bar. If they’d only have known who they were rebuffing.

  22. Richard says:

    Having just finished the morning shift in the DIA control tower, I’d have to say that Jim is going to have a bit of free time available to check out the wonders of this fine airport. 

    If you go down to the train boarding area from the TSA checkpoints in the main terminal, you will see a compass rose in the middle of the floor with a circle of clocks above that show the current time in less snowy places around the world.  If you stand in the center of the compass rose and speak, your voice will sound (to you) like it is coming from all directions.  An acoustic anomoly.

    You can go out to the west end of whatever concourse you are flying out of and thank your lucky stars that it isn’t you out there in the de-icing boom.  Or loading bags out in the ramp. 

    I live in the farthest reaches of southeast Aurora, in what appears to be the snow drift capitol of Colorado.  It may only snow 2” but I’ll have 3-4 foot drifts blocking my street.  I can’t wait for the legendary Aurora snow removal crew (only one member, a really bright fellow named Sol, who seems to have called in sick today) to get this little dusting cleared away today.

  23. Pablo says:

    Jeff: Ever notice that whenever AlBore shows up to warn us about global warming, the weather turns cold and sets records? This happened in Canada, LA, Austrailia, everywhere the man goes, he brings a cold front with him.

    If we just send hiw to the arctic circle, I think our little problem is solved.

  24. Alice H says:

    Sol’s not sick, he moonlights in every other burb around Denver.  He plowed a couple of streets in Thornton about ten days ago.

  25. Actually Sol used a grader to scrape the ice off my street about two weeks after the first blizzard.  Haven’t seen him since.

  26. TheGeezer says:

    Bloody rebuffers are everywhere, I tell you.

    Dan might not be speaking of anything he does to rebuffers, but rather why rebuffing might be good for other reasons, ya know?

  27. B Moe says:

    …everywhere the man goes, he brings a cold front with him…

    He is a cold front, he can’t help it.

  28. Dr. Heidi Cullen says:

    You should be thankful a new ice cap is forming over your home, you paste eating global warming denier. If it weren’t for this new ice cap, global warming would lead to us all living in waterworld and I can’t stand Kevin Costner. Although that woman on his catamaran was hot, not the young girl with the map on her back, the other one. Don’t deny it or I’ll have you decertified

  29. Gabriel Malor says:

    thegeezer, well if that’s the case, you’d think Dan and Jeff wouldn’t be hitting on them in the first place.

    Also, ew.

  30. Billll says:

    Kids toy. Spud launcher.

    Wonder how far this thing can throw a snowball?

  31. Meg Q says:

    Hey, isn’t a rebuffer what they use on the terrazzo floor in the airport in Kansas City?

    I suppose I would feel sorrier for all you Coloradans if I didn’t live in Edmonton (home of the Five-Month Winter (TM)).—Aw, heck, my sister lives in the mountains between Taos and Raton, and my brother-in-law was telling me about having to dig his cattle out of the 48” of snow (although they then had an excellent time snowmobiling and tobogganing), so, okay, I’ll feel sorry for you. ‘Cause a blizzard in urban areas just isn’t any fun.

  32. Swen Swenson says:

    Oh stop yer whining. We drove as far south as we could get and still be on this side of the *virtual* fence—there’s no escape.

    But Great Minds do think alike, I too blamed in on Al Gore.

  33. Bill D. Cat says:

    Meg , you should know by now that the only good thing about Edmonton is Highway 2 South .

  34. Meg Q says:

    Bill D. –

    Heh, heh, heh.

    Well, the Macdonald Hotel is pretty . . .

  35. Bill D. Cat says:

    Couldn’t help it Meg , your comments are always excellent , but……. GO FLAMES GO !

  36. cynn says:

    I hate this weather.  I hate this city.  Two of my tires are flat.  The buses don’t run on time.  Everything’s a sick, dirty-chunky white, with the occasional yellow splatters.  I feel like I live in a Baskin Robbins display case.

  37. Meg Q says:

    Hey, I should have noted the “telus.net” address!

    BTW – I am married to one of the 10 heterosexual men in Canada who do not care anything for hockey. My husband’s excuse is, he was born and raised in Scotland & his family moved here when he was 17, and then only to Vancouver. Of course, all of his younger brothers are hockey nuts. (Of course, he doesn’t like curling, either – or really any spectator sports – typical academic.)

  38. SteveG says:

    Next week, the Santa Barbara Film Festival is giving Al Gore the best nature film award for an inconvenient truth.

    The citrus, avocado, cherimoya and strawberry crops were decimated by record cold. 70 miles south, there was snow in Malibu. 70 miles north in Paso Robles they are on a record setting pace for low temperatures on consecutive days.

    My Brazilian Princess flowers wilted down to a crispy little freezer burned nub.

    It is supposed to rain more here with this whole global warming thing, and so far we have less than an inch for the season (mirroring the hurricane season… or lack thereof)

    The local newspaper is all agog over Gore’s visit. It isn’t really a newspaper, it doubles as the worlds nicest Sierra Club newsletter… but with local sports.

    We once had missing meerkats on the front page for consecutive days, and the editorials are often in strident and defiant opposition to the National Park Services plans to poison rats out on the channel islands… god forbid they hire hunters to shoot the feral pigs either.

  39. MarkD says:

    The trans-fat police haven’t banned Cheddar Chex yet?  Better hoard a few boxes for the Super Bowl.

    Before they are banned.  Heck, before football is banned.  Somebody might get hurt, you know.

    Because Mike Bloomberg wants to save the entire country from itself.  Now that he’s saved New York City, he wants to be president and save us all.

    Anbody know where I can get away from that pompous jerk?

    TW:  This thing is broken – it says former68.  Should be future68 unless I missed a decade and change.

  40. Jim in KC says:

    And in the end, I had 10 minutes in Denver.  Which I spent dashing from one concourse to another.  I didn’t get to see Jesus in the men’s room or any of that cool shit.

  41. click says:

    Nice site and fine content

Comments are closed.