1. Disparage the hamburger.
2. Vilify the hot dog.
3. Rocky Balboa? Fuck him.
4. Point out that baseball is but a pale shadow of cricket. I mean, cricket is played in trousers and sweaters! How freakin’ civilized is that?
5. Defend the honor of blood pudding against those proles who know absolutely nothing of gustatory complexity that hasn’t been taught them by the “combo meal.”
6. Laugh uproariously at BBC; sneer at Zach Braff.
7. Officially name house in Malibu “Wyndham” or “Heathcliff” or “Jagger” or some such.
8. Remember to work the following into cocktail party conversation: “I think it was Jane Austen in Mansfield Park who said ‘If any one faculty of our nature may be called more wonderful than the rest, I do think it is memory. There seems something more speakingly incomprehensible in the powers, the failures, the inequalities of memory, than in any other of our intelligences. The memory is sometimes so retentive, so serviceable, so obedient; at others, so bewildered and so weak; and at others again, so tyrannic, so beyond control! We are, to be sure, a miracle every way; but our powers of recollecting and of forgetting do seem peculiarly past finding out.’ Because that sounds so tits!
9. Slap a Cockney.
10. The Irish? I’d rather sup with a filthy American.
“The Irish? I’d rather sup with a filthy American.”
Ever hear of AntiJaphetism?
Semantic: The door’s over there.
I hope she has had a facial muscle conditioning program in place – all that vilifying, disparaging and sneering can wear one out…
Don’t worry, Major John; where there’s a will and a bank account full of filthy lucre, there’s a plastic surgeon and a spa.
Try to keep up, Semi-rant. It ain’t that tough.
Regards,
Ric
11. Tell Chris to shut his gob already and go make another whiny record or something.
12.Some of my best friends hate America. and Joooos. Personally I’d kill for a Wendy’s triple right now.
Do you get to name your own house if you’re a child of only two hereditary aristocracies? I’m not sure she’s qualified.
Does Scooter really think that’s going to work with a DC jury?
Kevin B
We’ll be getting that Rove indictment when…???
– Frog marching was going to be teh rocks for kicking off the new year. I’m deeply disappointed in Leopold. and all that silence from camp Wilson. How to account for it….
Because Saddam held the evidence of Rove’s complicity.
AND NOW WE’VE KILLED HIM!
– I juat knew Rove was behind it all…..
13. Stop accepting multimillion-dollar contracts and start acting in films for free. After all, Britain is much less capitalistic than the United States.
24 years. (business years)
I don’t know Scooter Libby, and I don’t remember hearing him speak, but I’ve taken a keen interest in his case at JOM and I just got the impression he might use that quote, (with a few Aspen references thrown in), and I can see the jury going: Huh?
My own personal preference would be that Fitzgeralds case is dropped, (and the prosecutor gets the Nifong treatment), and the civil suit goes ahead, (and the Wilsons get the Saddam treatment), but sadly I think it will be the other way round
Anyway, that’s so last year. Now that the dems are in power they have to put aside these petty side shows and concentrate on the real issues facing the country. (Impeach Bush and Cheney, cut and run in Iraq, negotiate with Iran and Syria and sell Israel down the river).
TW audience55 Wow, that’s nearly as many as Cindy gets these days.
Begorrah! Nobody disparages the hamburger in my hearin’ and doesn’t leave with a throatful o’ teeth, be he lady or no lady!
One borrowed from Madonna?
That’s so un-kind. Jeff.Love you. I hope you and your family have a wonderful New Year.
Shhhhhh. Quiet down with that Cockney-slapping stuff or the tards over at “Sadly, no” will go nuts.
Dammit, I demand a series of cock-slap posts.
Not that they need any encouragment, Sean M.
Hey, classic liberals, does Kevin B’s litany of Dem plans constitute what the majority of you think? Seriously, does the right really think the Congressional Dems are going to try to impeach Bush? Cheney? Sell Israel down the river (Chuckie Schumer had a heart attack when he saw someone even mentioned that)? “Cut and Run” in Iraq (rather than surge and run as the President suggests)? And, the unholiest of unholies, speak with Syria and Iran?
Seriously, of that litany, three of the four are impossible and the fourth is just political suicide. You guys and gals are too smart to believe in impossible things, right?
Impossible things
#1) Impeach Bush/Cheney. Not only is this a politically disastrous idea (why go after the guy with no power), it is impossible to find any advantage to doing so. Their bare majority in the House would not pass the indictment and, certainly, there is no conceivable way the 2/3 majority in the Senate could be attained. So, failing to impeach Bush or Cheney is obvious even to most leftists…why would one waste political capital on that? Besides Nancy and Harry have already said that’s off the table.
#2) Speak with Iran and Syria. Unless, somehow our supposed unitary executive is changed to a unitary legislative, the people who speak for us are in the President’s control, not Congress. I doubt Condi is going to be flying off to Tehran at the behest of John Murtha
#3) Sell Israel down the river. I continue to see this mentioned by commenters at PW and it’s absolutely baffling. The United States is bound to Israel, legally and morally. Many of the Democrats most enthusiastic backers and the grass roots organizations they rely upon are Jewish. Chuck Schumer has gone out of his way to criticize CAIR and Hamas, for example. You think this is because he’s a nice guy?
If you mean, try to put a halt to Israel invading Lebanon, then perhaps the Israelis should have listened to the lefties. Their attack left them isolated, destroyed the fear every Arab had that the IDF was invincible, and inspired Hezbollah to make a political attempt on the entirety of Lebanon. In short, the US Congress can’t stop Israel from building their fence or bombing Southern Lebanon. It’s electoral suicide, even if they wanted to do it in the first place.
Even if they could, why?
#4) Cut and run in Iraq. I’ve never been sure what that phrase means (any more than “when they stand up, we will stand downâ€Â). We were always planning to leave Iraq (except for those FOB’s in the desert), the question was always when. Nonetheless, while questions can be raised by this Congress (and will be), their only true power is one they have said they will not use, i.e. the elimination of funding.
Morally and politically, that is the right decision. For politics sake, clearly the most important consideration for any politician, the fact that 70% of the American people oppose the war is a gift from the George to the Dem candidates for 2008. Watching the Republican candidates dance around the issue as it hamstrings any and all of them for the next election will cause so much cackling in Westchester and suburban Illinois, I might be able to hear it here in Indiana. Why would any sane Democratic politician want that off the table? The President says decisions on when to withdrawal from Iraq will be made by future presidents. No need to argue with him.
There will be things done in the future Congress that were left undone by the previous worthless Congress (lobbying reform, real hearings on wire-tapping and rendition, hopefully, some spending reductions (and a refusal to make the sunset provision of those tax cuts go away), etc) to make you classic liberals angry for the next two years. I don’t think we have to make stuff up.
PS Kevin, if you read this, it’s not an attack on you. I have read variations on this in several of the comment sections and I have come to expect more from Jeff and company. Loathing the Democratic Congress is not unexpected or wrong; hell, it’s what we’re supposed to do in a functioning democracy. But, I think we should have a realistic idea of what they intend to do, so that good lefties like myself are not brushed with “you want to impeach everybody†line. If we want to attack people, let’s do so with stuff they may actually do!
So, Timmy, what you’re saying is, they intend to do none of the things they (nudge nudge wink wink) promised their base they would do now that they’ve won their elections?
I’m shocked! Why, it’s almost as if all they were really interested in was regaining power…
Here’s the real question: Can the more ideologically crass leftists hold their tongues for two more years in hopes the American people feel comfortable voting for Democrats to run the entire country, or will the more demanding lefties insist their puppet leaders fall in line NOW and begin carrying out the agenda so often put forward on many of the more policy-oriented lefty sites?
Incidentally, despite the attacks of 911 and worries over rising oil prices, the DOW is over 12K and unemployment is in the 4.5% range (last I heard). So why on earth would you want to do away with those tax cuts? Just out of curiosity.
How much was the fed bringing in with taxes at a higher rate? How much are they bringing in now?
For the most part, Timmy, I agree with you. This is nutty, though:
Israel really had no choice but to respond to the provocation of having their soldiery kidnapped and murdered. How do you suppose that they ought to have responded to that, and the missile launchings that began even before they crossed into Lebanese territory? Do you think it would have been wise to negotiate, to give the Hezzies more time to import more fighters and missiles? Would it have been wise for them to negotiate the surrender of 6 or 7 hundred terrorists in Israeli prisons in exchange for the snatched soldier? Is the demand “disproportionate,” or only the Israeli response?
Is the continuing refusal to grant the International Red Cross access to the prisoner de facto evidence that these actors are not representative of a state? Are the continuing provocation of missile firings into Israel evidence that they understand that any Israeli violation of the so-called ceasefire will be treated differently than is their use of Lebanese territory to prosecute attacks on Israel? Is not their entire strategy premised on the disparity in international coverage on which they have learned to rely, and is not the fact that it is prosecuted from Lebanon not an extension of the general tactic of directing hostile operations from within civilian populations?
Timmah, it’s still amusing to read about your lowest contempt for our collective intellectual wherewithall.
A voice crying in the wilderness, perhaps? That and the fact that you are just about the biggest Poll Whore this side of Clinton/Gore.
The best way to determine if you are painting with the proverbial Broad Brush is if you have to hold it with 2 hands.
That having been said, the issues listed after the big 4 will have our attention (classical liberals, Reagan Conservatives, Neo-cons, Religious right, wingnuts all) and very few of us have an absolute belief in the inevitability of 1-4, but are amused by certain elements of the Dems and their leftie minions looking for their piece of them. How about John “Mr. Ethical” Conyers? Cut and run? Check! Blow off Israel? Check! Impeachment? Double check.
Unfortunatly the Dems have MSM problems too in that the goofy fringes of their party (Murtha, Boxer, Conyers, Feingold, Kucinich, Cary, uh, Kerry, Dean) get face time disproportional to their influence and/or sanity. We reserve the right to mock them as members of their party as much as we get mocked for the likes of Ted Stevens and Denny Hastert.
Kevin was being sarcastic, but those 4 phrases were born out of the utterances of elected democrats as well as those screechy leftoids who are still in mourning over Nedrenaline’s Kos overdose.
Counting unhatched chickens is dangerous and can lead to marked change in those polls that you pimp so well.
Dan, did they get their soldiers? If the policy didn’t work and was an abject failure, then it seems accurate to say it failed. In response to your “what should they have done?” the only answer I can proffer is a half-assed invasion of Lebanon didn’t work in 1983, why think it works now? Either go big (which I also thing would have been a mistake) or negotiate and exchange prisoners like the Israelis do all the time.
They lost…seems silly to argue theirs was the right idea.
#3. Eww, even I have my limits. That is not a scene I’d watch. Rocky Balboa?
Did they lose, Timmy? Tell that to the native inhabitants of southern Lebanon.
Jeff, as much as conservbatives have a portion of thier base (the evangelical crowd, for example) who see the Republican leadership is too wimpy, the Dems will always have the Kos folks. Hell, they had crazies nipping at moderate leadership since the Cross of Gold speech in 1898. Simply put, they won the last election by being middle of the road and highlighting the current administration’s incompetence. The game plan in ‘08 will be the same, whgich means they have to have to govern from the middle (even if they didn’t want to) or they will get slapped by moderates running from them. I can assure you that House majority would be long gone. Here in Indiana, three Democrats won, 2 by narrow margins, and all of them are moderates. You won’t hold onto those seats by impeaching the President in Indiana.
As to your last point, I know conservatives don’t care about the deficit, but this liberal does. We continually borrow from a country that if it were willing to force a crisis (and take it’s own economic hit) could bankrupt most of the country in about 3 months. Hopefully, those Communist bastards havce leanred enough about Prada, Beluga, and Sony to not risk forcing the issue, but I would rather my country’s furture be it’s own hands. Simply put, the deficit must come down, and, since there is precious little spending to cut, revenues must be increased.
Oh, please don’t inuslt me by going Hannity on me (lowered tax cuts increase…blah, blah). Then where is this increased revenue in relation to debt? Pray tell, how miraculous was the surplus in the ‘90’s? Blame Gingrich for the surplus, blame Lott, I don’t care; taxes were higher, surplus and financial sanity reigned.
http://www.cbpp.org/3-3-03tax.htm
They lost what? “the fear every Arab had that the IDF was invincible”
Yeah, Hamas has been simply paralyzed with fear all this time. Nasrallah was just pissing his pants when he decided to start killing and kidnapping IDF soldiers.
Ptooie! The IDF killed lots of Hizzies and broke lots of their shit. They didn’t lose anything they had when they went in, and they know a whole lot more about what Heballah has going on in S. Lebanon then they did when they went it. You can’t lose friends you don’t have to begin with and worrying about pissing off the people who want to kill you will get you killed.
They didn’t start the war, they ended it. Are you auditioning for the Baghdad Bob role, or something?
Timmy, how much of the national debt does China own? What percentage of China’s exports are purchased by the US?
If we shut China off tomorrow and decide that we no longer recognize them and we’ll have nothing to do with them including trading with them or honoring the paper they hold, which country is screwed?
Did you not notice that there’s a war on, and that this Administration has been spending like a drunken sailor domestically?
Revenues are up, btw, and the deficit has come down faster than expected.
How can anyone sneer at Zach Braff. Scrubs is the best show on television
Agenda for invading Lebanon/To do list:
Enlist American right wing….check
get back captured soldiers……oops
break Hezbollah’s power in Southern Lebanon…oops
Protect the Cedar Revolution…..oops
Get the Syrians out……oops
stop rocket attacks…..oops
save $ on ammunition for artillery strikes at rocket site…..oops
You’re right, Pablo, a freakin’ unqualified success.
oh, and prior to 2006, if you didn’t think there was an Arab army that thought it could stand on the same field with the IDF, then you’re nuts. Hezbollah thinks it can. The Egyptians have been walking around with a smile…
Lastly, here’s your link to debt issues http://www.ustreas.gov/tic/mfh.txt. If they called that over one trillion in debt tomorrow, the mortgage interest rate would shoot through the roof (pun intended) and the US economy would do a Hoover (so would the Chinese, but the key is it’s in their hands, not ours).
– Yeh, yeh, yeh….the Chinese are poised on the threshold of world economic dominance, an inch away from wiping out America’s total markets, and can’t wait to fuck up their newly acquired big player position in things. Except they aren’t, and they won’t.
– I remember a few months ago, when day traders were running around like so many chicken littles screaching that China was about to dump billions of gold on the market. Came the day of reckoning and what did they do. They bought some more.
– Is there some secret Leftist wish list somewhere that they try in every manner possible to actualize by writ of public proclaimations and NYT/Guardian Marxist hit pieces? Because if so, based on their predictions track record since 2000, it would go a long way to explain their sky rocketing analysts bills.
Jeff, by God, Sir, it’s good to see you back and in such fine fettle. Jolly good send up, what? Humorous, one might say, were one inclined to say such, and in the old fashioned Protein Wisdom mode that we stuffy old Tories are so fond of harrumphing over as we sip our port. Demn fine, I say, demn fine.
Go all Hannity on you?
I have no idea what you mean.
I mean yell, scream, jump up and down and show your Ronald Reagan tattoo.
Nah, what I meant, is that Mr. Hannity is fond of claiming great advantages to tax cuts. Apparently, it helps when an idea you morally supported when you poor enables you to keep some more of that of that 8-10 million per annum. He is really behind tax cuts now!
Prior to be accused of resenting him for being wealthy, let me just say “yeah, I’m pissed that that halfwit and drug abusing twin are multi-gazillionaires, but only because I think they are wrong and stupid. People who become rich for other reasons (good ideas, nice products, Tom Hicks willing to buy your baseball team for a 500% profit) are fine with me. I’d like to think I would give most of that money away, but I doubt I’ll be presented with that problem!
Besides, as I tell my wife as she balances the checkbook, we are richer than 90% of the rest of the world. At least, for now, my drinking water is potable. And I have the tubes for the internet.
Sorry Timmy B, I forgot a tag on yesterdays last comment.
/sarcasm
There. All fixed.
(Though as others have pointed out, my mock Dem agenda was not entirely made up out of whole cloth)
I thought it might be, but seriously, I had a discussion with someone who believed the Israel stuff.
I like sarcasm, but I will also admit, paraphrasing Jeff, moderates of these parties are always willing to encourage the fever swamp extermists for an election. And, Rahm and Chuck certainly never said too much to the scorched Earth folks.
For my part, I hope they ditch the impeach crowd early and get to electing a President in 2008 (I imagine I’m a bit of a minority in that respect).
Wrong, Timmy. Capital Gains tax rates were nearly slashed in half, from 28%/20% short/long to 15%/10%. And the “dot com” revenue boom of the 1990’s was ENTIRELY a matter of capital gains, make no mistake about that.
I DO credit Robert Rubin for getting Bill Clinton’s ear on this matter, and I do credit Billy Jeff for going along with it, by the way.
Surely you jest, and surely you don’t think that we are all rah-rah BushyRovies with respect to domestic entitlement programs. A Medicare prescription giveaway to the elderly when the largest group of people living in poverty are single mothers with children? A “No Child Left Behind” expansion of a Department of Education that should be abolished and returned to state and local governments where it belonged inthe first place? That certainly isn’t the “conservatism” for which I signed on.
Uh, Timmy, they’ve gone to war with Israel 5 fucking times. They are not scared to death of them and never have been. They are convinced they’re going to win and always have been, deluded though they might be. Which you should be well equipped to understand. You might remember that it was you who just told us that the IDF has lost the fear all Arabs had that it was invincible.
What did Hezbollah win from it’s invasion of Israel? What did Israel lose? And when did you get the idea that they were in there to “protect the Cedar Revolution”? What on earth are you smoking?