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“Timmy and the Talking Llama”:  a protein wisdom microfiction

     Early one morning, while crossing a stretch of desert on his way to visit his grandmother, Timmy came across a llama who was singing Kenny Rogers’ “The Coward of the County” while doing a load of laundry in a small wash basin beneath the shade of a desert palm.

     “Gee whiz!” cried Timmy, amazed by the sight of a crooning Artiodactyla.  “I had no idea llamas could even talk, much less sing!”

     “Well,” replied the llama, not looking up.  “Now you do”—and with that, he returned to scrubbing a pair of spectacularly soiled silk pajamas on his well-worn llama wash board.

~ finis ~

23 Replies to ““Timmy and the Talking Llama”:  a protein wisdom microfiction”

  1. mojo says:

    Oh yeah – like Llamas wear pajamas…

  2. Gary says:

    Let’s see . . .

    Timmy is Everyman or the US Citizen . . . .

    The llama is President Bush who is about to show Dems were to stuff it while unleashing hell on the insurgents and Iran . . . 

    The Gatlin boys just laughed at him when he walked into the barroom.

    One of them got up and met him halfway ‘cross the floor.

    When Tommy turned around they said, “Hey look! ol’ yellow’s leavin’.”

    But you coulda heard a pin drop when Tommy stopped and blocked the door.

    Twenty years of crawlin’ was bottled up inside him.

    He wasn’t holdin’ nothin’ back; he let ‘em have it all.

    When Tommy left the barroom not a Gatlin boy was standin’.

    He said, “This one’s for Becky,” as he watched the last one fall.

    We can only hope . . . .

  3. Major John says:

    I have seen and heard some terrifying things in my life (the sound of a 107mm rocket incoming, the curses of a downtown Chicago cabbie, etc.) – but the thought of how those silk pajamas might have become “spectacularly soiled” has me shivering in horror.

  4. Michael says:

    Llamas?

    Someone has cornered that market.

    Think big.

    Think lemur!

    Damn, I miss that ‘dillo.

  5. Pablo says:

    Someone painted “April Fool” in big black letters on a “Dead End” sign

    I had my foot on the gas as I left the road and blew out my mind

    Eight miles outta Memphis and I got no spare

    Eight miles straight up downtown somewhere

    I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in

    tw: bad98

    Olds, that is.

  6. Evidently, Timmy stumbled across my cousin Julian. He’s got some issues.

    When I do the laundry, the song of choice is Toby Keith’s “You Ain’t Much Fun Since I Quit Drinking.”

  7. One L lama, that’s a priest

    Two L llama, that’s a beast

    Three L lllama, that’s a fire, I’m gettin’ outta here.

  8. kyle says:

    So is Robert one who butchers llamas, or he is a llama who also happens to be a butcher?

  9. TODD says:

    Llamas in the desert? Is that geographically correct?  Soiled silk pajamas are best burned, not washed…..

  10. ahem says:

    Were the names changed to protect the innocent?

  11. Tai Chi Wawa says:

    Sing? Why, my rendition of “Hello Dolly” is so famous, I’m known as . . .

  12. McGehee says:

    This could go on all day. Alpaca lunch.

  13. gahrie says:

    Jeff..do you have a hard on for double “l”s?

    Screw the Llama..bring back the ‘dillo!

  14. MScott says:

    …amazed by the site of a crooning Artiodactyla.

    (emphasis added)

    Cool – you have the URL to this amazing site?

    </sarcasm>

  15. Jeff Goldstein says:

    I have no idea what you are talking about, MScott.

    Ahem.

  16. Timmy says:

    Llassie, come home!

  17. The Ghost of Alice B. Toklas says:

    Timmy and the Llama—didn’t I see them in that Tijuana bar Andy Sullivan dragged me to?

  18. John F. MacMichael says:

    Reminds me of Ogden Nash’s riddle rhyme:

    “A one L lama is a priest,

    A two L lama is a beast,

    But I will bet you a silk pajama,

    That you can’t think of a 3 L lama.”

    Answer: A fire (a 3 alarma).

  19. Meg Q says:

    Where can I get a llama wash board? Do they have to be imported from Peru?

  20. J. Peden says:

    That sure was one illllama got rama’d.

    Hmmmmmm….Who is Hussein Obama and al Gore still looking for love in all the wrong places?

  21. ahem says:

    Timmy, you’ve inspired me:

    Oh, Llucy, I’m home!

  22. Lost Dog says:

    Reminds me of a Clapton song – “You Taste Wonderful Tonight”

    Beautiful Lucky

    on the rotisserie

Comments are closed.