In response to my post noting the continued popularity of the scurrilous BBC article on tiny Indian (subcontinental) penises, this open letter was posted in the comments, but deserves its own post.  What makes the BBCs continued trumpeting of this article especially vile is the fact that, if Indians DO have tiny penises, it’s certainly the result of British colonialism:

You Can’t Always Get What You Want- Ole Rolling Stones Lament Song

To whom all it may concern at the BBC:

Indians have suffered greatly over the past fifteen days, and before that as well having had our name associated with lies and malicious smears..BBC in the past and recently has had so many a great personalities in India, Mark Tullyji, Daniel Lak ji all who adapted very well to Indian standards. They reported correctly and the BBC Managment fired them from their desk…You are no diffrent from our very own state run T.V.Channel Doordarshan… Bah!

In India we raised our son to tell the truth, to respect the privacy of others and not to have sex with British women. We have no idea what happened. We do not agree with the dishonest, politically-motivated bile on our son.

He is well endowed in our opinion. His papaji had applied snake oil on it ji. Our family Vaid and our Spiritual Guru blessed the oil and told us its the best to make it long ,strong big and elongatedji.. It has never failed all the men in both our Khandhan ji.. No, No No, we have no Cowboys or girlie men like you have up there ji..

Ours are all macho pure asli, if at all anything is there they are allin the closetji. You know we even have a Section 377 for booking people of such un natural natureji… I myself have seen yr British Pot bellied good for nothing young & old men comming for our Lil boys here in Goa and everywhere.. and now you smear us with this…

Family Jewels are a matter of pride in our Khandhan.. In fact all his Bunty Girl friends have sung in his honor that famous song “Ouch it hurts”.. like that Amerigan Khudi Britney Kya hai Ah Ahhhhh Spearsji..

The BBC now promotes a corrupt administration at the expense of our family’s good name and reputation. Believe us, had we known, we would have had him committed at a minimum……Never mind ji.. 

As Keshav one of our outstanding Blogger who used to grammatically correct many a bloggers once said on seeing the British Institution of manhood. Sir Mick Jager when he swaggered crooned pranced abt singing belting out,… I cant get no.. Satiiisssfaction on stage in a tight Leotard showing of his famous thick lips and showing of his famous big sized swollen crotch with whatever.

Never mind.. The Truth is that most folks did not know backstage Sir Mick had shoved a specially imported Indian Banana (Kella..) Talk abt going colonial in a Banana Republic..

All creatures great and small

All spores vile and botulus

The BBC sold them all

All swallowed it as well

We hope this will clear our national pride and restore the happy look on all our lingams.. Such carnard you firangis weave.. Black people have the best gadget the whole world knows…

Sincerely,

Mr. & Mrs.  Pundit Ganesh Ramsumair

C/o Sulekha Blog site

Old Madras Road,

Buckingham & Carnatic Mill Road

Hum Do Hamara Do Colony

Nirodhpuram

Chennai 600040

Once again, we catch the BBC making a mountain out of a molehill.

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