As Advent draws to a close, and Christmas nears, perhaps it would be fitting to perform a spiritual inventory, and consider whom you may have wronged in thought or in deed this year.
On the other hand, this is also your opportunity to demand an apology from any wanker who may really have pissed you off this year.
In other words, I’m inviting you to make a big mess, but you may not–just to spite me.
DannyBoy;
I seem to have called you a misogynist in error and apologize for the slight. However I refuse to take back the YellowStain derogation, but may recant if Goldstein asks his spouse to finally wash his
semen-crusted Levis in time for the New Year.
Semantic: I hate to tell you this, but you’re on very thin ice right now. Very, veeery thin. In fact, I can hear it starting to crack…. Hear that?
I have a feeling I won’t have you to kick around much anymore.
I’d say nice knowin’ ya, but it hasn’t been.
Grahem Cracker;
Have you actually landed one of your spastic blows?
I was not aware.
I laughed at Al Gore.
I sneered at John Kerry.
Does this make me a bad person?
I guess I’m not quite clear on this whole concept.
I want to apologize for ever thinking Sandy Berger was not guilty. Apparently, he is a lot dumber than I suspected.
I apologize to BJ for him thinking I meant he was bigot. I do not. I think he’s wrong about everything, but, if we all agreed, we wouldn’t have anyone to apologize to.
Lastly, I need to apologize to my wife for her having to see me sans clothes on occaison. On the bright side, in the spirit of season, maybe she can apoligize for laughing?
hey kids, can someone tell me the URL for posting? I’m out of town and have my username and password, but I forgot how to get to the posting section. I bookmarked it on my home computer, so I only got there the “hard way” once.
thanks
Spastic.
Now there’s a strange word to use as an insult.
Happy Christmas to you, you snivelling shit.
Now there’s a strange word to use as an insult.
Insult? Is there a problem?
I do my own laundry, semanticleo. I realize the thought might confuse a “progressive” such as you—all that talk about sexual equality is just a bit of a put on to try to bed a naive coed, right?—and besides, I’m sure Mommy is still doing yours, which can lead to a rather blinkered view of domestic convention.
Tell me, though. Does Mom get angry when you leave the seat up?
Her house, her rules.
Would that I were still in college. I might never leave home if I knew what I know now. Havin’ any luck gettin’ the pecker tracks out?
Me? Not at all. I wear underpants. But then, I’m a gentlemen.
Incidentally, I didn’t know it took a lot to get semen stains out of cotton. Perhaps I just stick to a more traditional diet than you, though.
For instance, I seldom eat crow.
Maybe mention to your Mom that the market has introduced a number of products now that will pre-treat stains and are particularly effective on organic compounds. Either that, or tell her if she wants to get to the stain quickly before it settles, she might just have her TIVO run a check on when the next episode of “Saved By the Bell” is on.
Mmmmm. Zach.
There is no stain if you wash with some frequency.
Diet may be a factor if you have some spotting.
I hear growth hormones in chicken colors the fat a yellowish tinge which carries over to the cell wall.
Hope that helps.
Timmy Boy; You remind me of opium, a slow working dope.
Semanticleo; Heard your family went to a restaurant where they serve crabs just so they could bring you along.
Phoenician (wherever you are); There’s two things I really hate about you: your face!
Fantastic; Your posting name should be Maple Syrup. You sap.
MonkeyBoy: If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth.
Dr. Vic: Haven’t seen you around much. I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you.
Heet: You must be lost in thought – it’s an unfamiliar territory to you, we know.
To all the PW trolls:
If there’s an idea in your heads, it’s in solitary confinement. You must have very large brains to hold such a staggering amount of sheer ignorance. Well, you’re certainly thoughtless; I just wish that you were keyboard-less, too. As Abba Eban so aptly said: “His ignorance is encyclopedic.”
You have that certain nothing. Truly, you are about as interesting as watching a slug move slowly across a large rock. Any friends of yours are lousy judges of character. Seriously, I’ve come across decomposing dog carcases that are less offensive to the senses than you are. Maybe you wouldn’t come across as such a jellyfish-sucking mental midget if you weren’t so dense that light bends around you. Who am I kidding? You would.
You post in a way that makes slugs and other invertebrates look like Nobel Prize winners. You should each offer your posting style to hospital operating theatres as a highly-effective alternative to unconsciousness-inducing medications.
Trying to get something of value out of your posts is like trying to squeeze orange juice out of an apple. You are obviously suffering from Clue Deficit Disorder. You’ve each got a big hole in your head, now shut it. When you are at a loss for words, your loss is our gain. As Ellen Glasgow once remarked: “He knows so little and knows it so fluently.”
When god was handing out personalities, you must have taken turns holding the door. You’re so boring, even a boomerang wouldn’t come back to you. Looking at you, Darwin would NOT be pleased to see how inefficiently evolution sometimes works. Maybe you wouldn’t be such Jerks-In-The-Box if you weren’t ‘idiota savant’ without the ‘savant’ part. No, come to think of it, you would.
In conclusion, sit down and shut up before you trip over any of your tongues and hurt one of you.
Or was that not what you had in mind, Dan?
Oooh, this might get good. Should I make pop-corn?
And, being Catholic, I have no need to apologize. I can just go to confession.
Yes, there’s a problem, you miserable excuse for a human being. Spasticity is a genetic birth defect and to use the word, as you do, as an insult, is inexcusable.
You are beneath contempt.
All that Miss Cleo wants for Christmas is a good, hard banning.
In those cases, I usually give myself kudos for keeping my mouth shut!
In the other cases, I think maybe I’ll just try to better next year.
Or maybe I’ll have some wine and send out a mass e-mail apology.
Heehee. That’s sounding like fun!
You see it as an insult because you were offended I took the upper hand in the conversation. That’s your problem, you miserable excuse for a human bean.
That was an insult. Can you grasp the subtlety?
You have never taken the upper hand in anything, other than possibly when whacking off your tiny member.
I am offended because you are a subcretinous, unreconstructed arsehole, and even now you are too stupid to see what everyone else can see, that you have committed an inexcusable lapse in behaviour which places you beneath a shit-eating cockroach.
You are extremely fortunate that you live 12,000 miles away or I would come round and teach you some manners.
That is not an insult, it is a promise. Do you understand?
semanticleo’s upper hand is undoubtedly his left.
Whereas his lower hand is generally wrapped in a jimmy, and answers to the name of “Lindsay.”
I apologize to another entire year’s worth of semen. The warm wash, rinse and spin cycles, predatory detergents, they deserve an oven-warmed treat in 2007.
Hey, I just haven’t been able to get in the holiday spirit. I haven’t even decided to go with traditional aluminum or more modern PVC for the pole.
Regards,
Ric
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I get the sense that you really believe that……priceless!
Mental Note: stay off RTO’s shit list
I guest-posted at Protein Wisdom. Repeatedly. Despite not being good enough, nor smart enough—and gosh darn it, nobody likes me.
To start off the New Year afresh, I hereby apologize to any of those to whom I delivered reprimand on the inappropriately narcissistic assumption that they might have had a brain.
Certainly no one here fits that category.
RTO–I think that kind of stretches the envelope of apology, maybe the way that Rosie stretches a pair of B nylons. But since catharsis was the point . . .
McGehee–I like you, and miss your posts here.
As for me, I’m thinking that perhaps I was too mean to Nishi, for starters.
Oh. Well….
Sorry Dan.
No, really, it’s my fault. I should have been more specific.
Awwwwwwww, that was really sweet and I just want to… hey, that’s not an apology!
CURSE YOU, JOHN CARY!!!
In the spirit of RTO’s abject self loathing I would like to apologize to Timmy B for … um … Ah … wait a minute … hmmm … uh, come back to me …
muh gay ah heeeee … <burp> I luv ya, maaaaaaaan…
*slump*
Man, if the Fish & Game warden comes along and asks if I have a license to fish for compliments here, I am gonna be in so much trouble…
My goodness, a veritable black hole of insipid stupidity, preening self-importance and uninformed arrogance.
Dear company where I work:
I am truly sorry that my job is so damn boring I’d rather spend time commenting on this blog than working.
That about covers it for me.
12,000 Miles?
Imagine the volume of his anger at 15,000.
I’ve noticed the vicarious warriors lose a little
air as the object of scorn inches closer. I suspect barely a whisper within my city limits.
>macaroon>
Dan. Thanks for the offer ,but I’d rather annoy people.
apparently not…
DING DING! LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLLLLEEE!!!
Thanks, I meeded a good belly laugh. (Incidentally, you’re hitting the hard return, unnecessarily, again.)
DING DING! LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLLLLEEE!!!
You sure seem excited.
Does that mean Furri is coming to town with a stopover in Texas for a Brokeback Reunion with BJ?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I get the sense that you really believe that……priceless!
John was speechless as well.
Hello. semenclit has noticed something. That object of scorn, semenclit, is your penis.
“That object of scorn, semenclit, is your penis.”
Envy explains a lot about your anger.
I’ve noticed the vicarious warriors lose a little
air as the object of scorn inches closer.
Oh! That we could enjoy the fullness of your wit by half!
Forget it Rusty we are trying to have a battle of wits with an unarmed man.
Might I point out to the logically challenged that one cannot be 15,000 miles from any point on a globe only 25,000 miles in circumference?