Search






Jeff's Amazon.com Wish List

Archive Calendar

November 2024
M T W T F S S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
252627282930  

Archives

Idiot Survey Gets Idiot Results [Dan Collins]

From the Manufacturing News Desk:

Nearly two-thirds of Britons think the fiery Italian sauce Arrabiata is a sex infection, according to a survey on Friday.

The survey, of 1,015 people and released on World AIDS day, also showed nearly half were unable to identify a range of common sexual complaints.

“What is very worrying is the lack of knowledge about sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) revealed in the survey,” said sex therapist Emily Dubberley.

“Sixty-three percent in the UK thought an Italian sauce was an STD and over 43 percent couldn’t identify any of the common sexual complaints we asked about.

“This ignorance has no excuse in today’s world.”

The survey, conducted by pollsters MYVOICE, also found that 48 percent of respondents found body odor and poor personal hygiene a turn off against just 4 percent who felt the same about a refusal to wear a condom.

The poll also found that 35 percent of people looked for information about sex on the Internet against 27 percent who consulted magazines.

In contrast only 4 percent went to their doctors.

93% believe Bolognese indicates a big dick.

WTF?  Doctor, can you show me my G-spot, please?  What are the disadvantages to nipple rings?  Can you give succinct directions to my clitoris for my boyfriend?

Experts’ loaded questionnaire demonstrates necessity for experts, is more like it.

19 Replies to “Idiot Survey Gets Idiot Results [Dan Collins]”

  1. happyfeet says:

    So 52% of Brits did not find “body odor and poor personal hygiene” a turn-off? That’s like reverse natural selection or something.

  2. ahem says:

    Well, if you can’t smell yourself…

    And Arrabiata is not an STD? Then I must have a bad case of Linguini.

  3. Themistocles says:

    93% believe Bolognese indicates a big dick.

    I’ve often wondered why so many girls ask me if I’m Bolognese after that first night. Appreciate you clearing that up Dan.

  4. Lars says:

    Ridiculous! Next thing they’ll be saying that Chlamydia is not clam sauce.

  5. Jeff Goldstein says:

    …Or that syphillis wasn’t condemned by the gods to perpetually push a rock up hill, only to have it roll down just before it reached the top—inspiring Camus to pen one of the seminal works of post-Kierkegaardian existential philosophy.

    You know, Nietzsche came down with syphillis, but it worsened into nihilism. 

    Sorry, Poland.

  6. Bill D. Cat says:

    Hmmmmm…….. just what kind of information about sex is available on the internet , and which magazines are they consulting……….and what exactly is the British definition of consulting?

  7. SteveG says:

    Idi Amin’s dose worsened into Israeli paratroopers at the Entebbe airport (Thank you Garrett Morris)

  8. …Or that syphillis wasn’t condemned by the gods to perpetually push a rock up hill..

    Or that Gonorrhea wasn’t one of the Cities of the Plain.

  9. furriskey says:

    Up your nose, Happyfeet.

    Pizza face has always been a major turn off for me.

  10. happyfeet says:

    Ignorant Brits with bad hygiene? Maybe Kendall Myers is ahead of the curve on this one.

  11. Jay says:

    Dude,

    You must stay on as a guest blogger. Your shit totally cracks me up.

  12. CraigC says:

    Does this mean I’ve been putting the wrong fuel additive in my car?

  13. furriskey says:

    Quoting the Guardian? Disturbing behaviour, Happyfeet.

  14. Rusty says:

    Ridiculous! Next thing they’ll be saying that Chlamydia is not clam sauce.

    Don’t be stupid. Everybody knows Chlamydia is a flower. Jeeze!

  15. TheGeezer says:

    You know, Nietzsche came down with syphillis, but it worsened into nihilism. 

    And Lenin came down with syphilis, but it worsened into Stalinism.

  16. TheGeezer says:

    Ridiculous! Next thing they’ll be saying that Chlamydia is not clam sauce.

    That reminds me of a question I’ve asked often:  just what is clam juice that is an ingredient in Clamato Juice?

  17. Then I must have a bad case of Linguini.

    nope that’s little lobsters, according to the person I overheard at another table once.

  18. Bleepless says:

    On badly-designed surveys: some years back, there was some alarm at how many children had seen what the British call video nasties.  Suspicious of the survey design, someone ran it again, but this time included several imaginary titles.  You guessed it: no difference.  The new researcher concluded that both surveys proved only that if you ask an eleven year-old something, he’ll say yes.

  19. happyfeet says:

    Geezer, best description I found was that the juice was “reconstituted dried clam broth.” I think the easiest way to get your head around that is to reflect on the idea that they also make Beefamato.

    But check this

Comments are closed.