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Thanks…

…to the Harrison family for the “I Eat Paste” t-shirt.  The shirt was a gift for my son (they didn’t have any in my size), who—though he’s far more of a glue sniffer than a paste eater—is nevertheless terribly grateful. 

Because as I’ve been trying to teach him, it’s the thought that counts—and besides, not everyone approves of toddlers expanding their minds by huffing model glue out of paper sacks, or eating whatever wild mountain fungi they happen to run across on one of our “magical mystery treks”.

And my son is nothing if not gracious.

Thanks also to Nishi for the wonderful Chianti and the large wooden armadillo, who sits stoically now at the center of my desk return, holding down Best Buy receipts and other paper scraps and waiting for a talking cricket and an old fairy to come along and turn him into a real armadillo.  Thus far, however, the crickets aren’t speaking, and all phone calls to Harvey Firestein have gone unreturned.

Thank you. I’ll be here all week.

16 Replies to “Thanks…”

  1. Dan Collins says:

    They also serve who only stand and weight.

  2. Diana says:

    Dan’s been working on his funny.

  3. BJTexs says:

    all phone calls to Harvey Firestein have gone unreturned.

    See, Mr. Collins? That’s how you make a gay joke! The subtlety and misdirection mask the blatant homophobia, you see. If you had been paying more attention to learning at the feet of the Mah-ster then you would not have incurred those gruesome penalties for your unfortunate foray into “poofy puppets.”

    Faggot rock, indeed. Amateur!

  4. Dan Collins says:

    I would accuse Diana of having gotten here by Googling ”wooden armadillo,” but clearly she’s been reading.

  5. Dan Collins says:

    BJ–

    Are you saying the “past oral services” thing wasn’t subtle?  Well, EXCUSE ME!

  6. mojo says:

    What, no stuffed Texas ‘dillo with ten-gallon hat (ok, maybe 1/2 pint) and a pair of sixguns?

  7. BJTexs says:

    Well, EXCUSE ME!

    TWEET!

    We have a penalty on Dan Collins: inappropriate screeching in an attempt to buttress subtlety of homophobic humor.

    15 yards, loss of down and 3 hours in a quiet room with monkeyboy while lectures him on WWII geopolitical conclusions and strategic military tactics.

    We assume that Dan will be placed on the “unable to stop screaming and fouling himself” list for the remainder of the season.

    PS: buttress=subtle hehe

  8. Dan Collins says:

    That’s cruel and unusual.

  9. Dan Collins says:

    Just waterboard me, okay?

  10. 6Gun says:

    Best Buy receipts

    True advocates for change, man, do it without all the electronics.  Consider Che.  Real progressives only use Indians.

    Because progressive America couldn’t have furthered its distinctly anti-Darwinian social experiment without all the change.

    You figure it out; I can’t.

    Or were you just snagging a righteous deal on a $39 DVD player and a $289 secondary-branded, offshore-made washer?

    Anti-union capitalist!

  11. Great Mencken's Ghost! says:

    We have a penalty on Dan Collins: inappropriate screeching in an attempt to buttress subtlety of homophobic humor.

    Nah, that’s Harvey’s normal voice.

  12. BJTexs says:

    Nah, that’s Harvey’s normal voice.

    Let’s go to the tape………..

    Nope, that was Dan, alright! The ghost like creature will be assesed a timeout.

    *LET’S POST!*

  13. tblMark says:

    Goldstein:

    Get off your ass and get back to work!!!

  14. Dan Collins says:

    tbl–

    He’s got a big writing deadline to meet on the 14th, and then he’ll be back.

  15. tblMark says:

    tbl–

    He’s got a big writing deadline to meet on the 14th, and then he’ll be back.

    Movie script????

  16. mojo says:

    “No Armadillos were hurt* during the making of this film.”

    *much

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