Found this photo in my referrer’s log. If it’s yours, please — please! — claim it. Then explain to me what you were thinking. Hoss.
In the meantime, anybody wishing to add a caption, feel free.
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Recent Comments
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“I drink from the bottle and piss in the glass. Hope I have that straight.”
“All set, wait, where did my anti-freeze chaser go?”
“You guys are going to let me into the frat after this, right?”
I’m not an alcoholic. I just have a glass with dinner each night.
“Stephen Green in 2020”.
An Irishman goes to the local pub to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, like he does every day, and gets wasted out of his mind. He stumbles outside when the bartender tells him that he’s had enough, but he can barely walk. So he leans up against a tree, where he passes out.
A few minutes later, a couple of fine lassies go walking by. One says to the other one, “Do you think they wear anything under those kilts?” She admits that she doesn’t know. So they go to check it out.
She lifts up the kilt and sees him in all his glory. As they replace the kilt and get ready to walk away, an idea enters one of their heads. “Give me your blue hair ribbon,” she says. Reluctantly, she hands it over. She goes back over to the Irishman, lifts up the kilt, and ties the ribbon to him. They walk away laughing.
A few hours later, the drunk gets up to take a piss. He stands up, walks over to the bushes, hikes up his kilt, looks down and sees the blue ribbon. He thinks for a minute and says, “To be perfectly honest, I don’t know how you got away, and I don’t know what you did, and I don’t know who you did it to, but I’m sure glad to see that you got first prize!”
“I wonder what the prize for 5th place was” the victorious Goldstein pondered.
“Just another glass, then I’ll grade my freshman comp papers.”
So said Prof. Goldstein.
Hate to get picky on a decent joke, but how drunk would an Irishman have to get to be wearing a kilt? Just wondered.
Since we’re on kilt jokes, a woman sees a Scotsman in a kilt.
She asks him, “What’s underneath your kilt?” He says, “Why don’t you go find out?”
So, she reaches underneath and finds what’s there, and says “Oooh! That’s gruesome!” The Scotsman replies, “Touch it again, lassie, it grew some more!”
“Ah, fuck them, and their winetasting job!”
10. The Incredible Shrinking Man gets Incredibly Hammered.
9. “Now you really CAN join me in a drink.”
8. You should see what happens when you say “Super Size it” in Amsterdam…
7. This wine has nose… the nose of Jimmy Durante, that is!
6. “I do not have a drinking problem… just a lifting problem.”
5. Just remember… for driving purposes, drinking 12 gallons of beer is equivalent to 5 gallons of wine or 1 gallon of hard alcohol.
4. This is the best answer to the “is glass is half-empty or half-full?” exercise.
3. Ah, yes… the wine that goes best with a steak the size of a Buick.
2. Because of the many instances of people drowning while drowning their sorrows, the wine captain is a Red Cross certified lifeguard.
1. We sell no wine before its time, but when it’s time, boy do we sell it!
I was going to go with “What Stephen Green is going to do if he doesn’t win the beauty contest”, but John’s is better.
Geeze, I just threw up my liver and the damn thing liquified…
Myria
“I’m almost done—less than half to go!”
1. What happened to the goldfish?
2. Since the visit from that Dudley dude, I can’t seem to empty this glass!
3. Dammit! Out of straws! Again!
Who needs a caption when you’ve got that picture? Who hasn’t had a day like that?
That bottle ont he table isn’t quite empty. Where are the other four bottles it took to fill up that oversizzed snifter?
Is that a hand-blown Reidel?
And yes, its 12:25 and I’m finishing off the last remnant of my bottle of wine this evening. So that explains the typos.
But I’m still wondering how somebody got that picture of me.
why is the wine/alchol content in the glass higher then what it can hold in the bottle?
As funny as those impromtu captions are, the real caption for that goes as follows:
“My doctor says I can only have one glass of wine a day.
I can live with that.”
My doctor said only one glass a day.