Velcome, boys and ghouls, to Halloveen Fright Night! I, Vlad the Regaler, have for you a very scary story of dead people voting from beyond the grave! Blah! Blah! Overvhelmingly, these spirits of the night arise from their graves every two years to cast votes for Democrats! Only Karl Rove and his army of corpse slayers stand between you and the electoral Undead! But do not be afraid, my little fiends, for after tomorrow, they vill return once again into their unhallowed graves until the next election cycle!
And now for our story!
Of course we are concerned about people voting if they are dead,” George Stanton, chief information officer for the state Board of Elections, said in an e-mailed response.
He said an updated version of the voter list was being developed.
“Any tool that will help us maintain a more accurate voter list will be considered for use,” he said.
Among the Journal’s findings:
– There were dead people on the voter rolls in all of New York’s 62 counties and people in as many as 45 counties who had votes recorded after they had died.
– One Bronx address was listed as the home for as many as 191 registered voters who had died. The address is 5901 Palisade Ave., in Riverdale, site of the Hebrew Home for the Aged.
– Democrats who cast votes after they died outnumbered Republicans by more than 4 to 1. The reason: Most of them came from Democrat-dominated New York City, where the higher population produced more matches.
Tales of votes being cast from the grave are part of election lore. Last year, at least two dead voters were counted in a Tennessee state Senate race that was decided by fewer than 20 votes. As a result of that and other irregularities, seven poll workers were fired, an entire precinct was dissolved and the election results were voided by the state Senate, forcing the removal of the presumed winner. Three elections workers were indicted for faking the votes.
In 1997, a judge declared a Miami mayoral election invalid because of widespread fraud, including dead voters.
And in one of the more notorious examples, inspectors estimated that as many as 1 in 10 ballots cast in Chicago during the 1982 Illinois gubernatorial election were fraudulent for various reasons, including votes by the dead.
In one reported case, a dead man’s signature was clearly spelled out on voting records even though while alive he could only mark an “X” because he had no fingers
Blah! Blah! Tomorrow, vhen ve give eqval time to the sinister side of the aisle, ve vill tell spooky tales of Republican Secret Societies vith strange rituvals and frightening connections to poverful lobbyists! So, until then, sleep vell, little fiends!
RELATED: More Dead Voters in St. Louis
Maybe we could have a cage match between Cook County Illinois, Madison County Illinois, St. Louis Missouri and New York City for the Zombie Voter Title Belt…
Dan, that count looks like he has an “O”. Just sayin’.
PattyAnn–
He looks like he’s got an “h”, too.
You can’t fool us, ‘thuglican Dan!
We know that these posts are all part of your evil scheme, in conjunction with the Dark Lord Rove (cunning and yummy) to disenfranchise poor and elderly voters who support Democratic candidates who not only take care of them but, golly, really care about taking care of them. If you push to edit the vote lists, then you’re going to apply racist, sexist, felonist and possibly gerbelist criteria designed to deny the sainted and caring Democratic party from their rightful votes.
You think that your plot is so clever but rightiousness and diplomacy have shined a light upon your scheme to deny entitlements to the entitled! Dem’s are entitled to the entitlement votes which leaves their suffering voters with the entitlements that they are entitled…um…to!
We’ll have poll workers with geiger counters and rolls of tin foil at the polls to foil (that’s right, I said foil) your evil schemes regarding those fancy-schmancy electrical voting machines with no paper as precribed in the constitution (the “Ream of Paper” clause.)
Then you will have the government to which you are entitled…um…DESERVE!
Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go picket the Jersey hardware store that sold the fertilizer that the special ops teams used to bring down the twin towers. BASTARDS!!
– New Jersey was always jealous of this set of twins….
Curses! Foiled again!
“Let’s do it now in flight,” Lt Gen Obering told employees of Boeing, the prime [contractor]….”
– Then maybe after that they might even get around to testing the weapon…..
– Front row Japanese tourist with camera— “Ahhh ssoooo, and now maybe we can be seeing the famous Goodyear blimpah?”…..
Malone: [to Ness] Welcome to Chicago.
Malone: This town stinks like a whorehouse at low tide.
– Then again, they’re not really “dead” dead, if they’re Vamps… So there’s always that to consider, although you’d think there would be some voting age limit thing like say 500 years or something, but possibly even after all that time they still feel they have a stake in things….gives a whole new meaning to “absentee ballot”….
What the hell does it say about ‘Merica when the voters are older than the country!!!!!
Huh? Huh?
Oh……Oh, yea…..Democrats……..got it…..
BBh–
No, the picture’s of Vlad the Regaler. He hosts the Fright Night show, but he’s not a real vampire. He’s an actor who pretends to be a real vampire when he hosts the show, and he gets to use the vampire facilities at Metro stations in NYC when he’s in costume.
But he feels like a vampire. So, in that sense, he’s a real vampire.
– They may all be direct decendents of the original Liberal – Joan of Arc’ – Which would make them American’s on oh so many levels….
Well, as liberals, the bloodsucking part works…
I’ll take Vampires for 1000 alex.
Ding!
“These entities are known as bloodsuckers”
Ding!
– What does a NY show host, Liberals, and transvetites in Grand Central Station bathrooms, all have in common Alex?
Ding! Correct…..Now for our Daily double….
Tranvetites?
Vegetarians who like to cook with trans fats? BAN ‘EM!!!
– Actually Dan I was referring to the Voter demon-graphics in St. Louis….
– “Cucumbers are over-rated”…. Pinky Lee (From his book “Looking for love in all the organic places”)
For perspective, consider that neither monkyboy or actus willingly posted a reply to this.
Think about it.
River, it’s a school night. and there’s trick-or-treating tomorrow night, so it’s best to behave.
Come on, guys. If only one in ten in Chicago were dead, they are pikers by comparison to The Crescent City. The largest voting bloc in the City of New Orleans is Elk’s Cemetery. 98% Dem in the last Senatorial election, assuring victory for Katrina Mary Landrieu.