The New Life Church congregation would also like to thank Ted Haggard for his past oral services.
Some, but not all, of the allegations true.
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Recent Comments
- In The Mailbox: 02.28.23 (Afternoon Edition) : The Other McCain on Hey, longtime pw readers…
- In The Mailbox: 12.23.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll truly IS a sad, embittered psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- In The Mailbox: 07.18.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
Who did he think he was, Mark Foley?
What is it with Evangelical gays in Colorado Springs–is there something in the water there?
You’re not that funny.
I didn’t say I was that funny. You’ve misinterpreted me.
It’s not as though I’m John Funny Kerry.
Dan, what are you wearing?
(I’ve always wanted to ask that question online.)
Good luck with the lingerie show.
Thanks, PattyAnn, it went well.
Also, I proved that I could pose and talk at the same time, which I think was an accurate representation of Tyra’s talents.
You’ve misinterpreted me.
Intentionalismophobe!
Well, if I were John Kerry, the intention issue would be moot, because the answer would always be John Kerry.
All proceeds apace to the Dark Lord’s plan. The Gayangelicals will help get out the vote…
In other news, A rare picture of Mr. Ciaroscuro himself is now available. Click to be horrified!!!
Now, back to your regularly scheduled one-liners. Er, I mean comments!
-The Menagement (a trois)
– Another blatent misinterpretation… Jones ment to say: “Ted got ‘US’ stuck in my rack”…
– How long before Jones joins Stark at Err-AmeriKa….
INTERNAL MEMO #5168b – Classification: your eyes only shred after reading.
To: Agent River (WetTree6)
CC: agent Deiter – KKL Field commander 35th degree
(message follows)
I do believe you’re running about 10 months behind on your codebook version. Re-read the “Orb of confusion” operators manual. You’re suppose to set it on “stun”, time delayed activation until AFTER you leave the polling site. After…. K? (end of message) coded Delta Zebra 0072.
(destroy on completion – ref “need to know†article 322)
INTERNAL MEMO #5168c – Classification: Rambling.
To: Rovian Internal Messaging Enterprise (RIME)
Eyes shredded. Orders?
(end of message: Checksum 3291075)
INTERNAL BRAILLE MEMO #5169a – Classification: your eye sockets only – drain after feeling.
To: Agent River (WetTree6)
CC: agent Deiter – KKL Field commander 35th degree
(message follows)
It appears you’ve opted for the “blind-man” disguise, group #2, in your field assignment kit. Commendable. Contact agent TankGirl for any camo questions. Cane should be held rubber tip down; poking is encouraged. Your fellow agents will applaud you for your dedication I’m sure, and you’ll be recieving the Order of the Cobalt-Jar Heart. Wear it proudly. Proceed with operation “Purple clutch purse” on the 7th. Good luck, and safe swimming.(end of message) coded Delta Zebra 0072.
(destroy on completion – ref “need to know†article 322)
**CRITIC MESSAGE**CRITIC MESSAGE**
DESIGNATION**COBALT BLUE BAT**
EYES ONLY: OLAF, DEITER
CC: THE NAME THAT SHALL NOT BE SPOKEN
FROM: WERNER BRAUTHOSE, 47TH KEEPER, FOG OF FLATULENCE
Greetings, fellow manipulators!
Once again the sly machination of his Holy Cocoaness (may he ever be creamy and smooth) have born fruit. Now that the Evangelicals have been victimized by “Pole Stand” they shall arise and smite the polls with a mighty wave!!! Whew!!
You must now act with elan and alacrity! Please open the sealed envelope marked “Conjunctivitis Altar.” Use the 37th protocol subsection “beet stain” to decode. (not the friggin’ decoder ring, Deiter!) Intiate at midnight plan “Kerry Merry Bo Berry.” Olaf, the training dummy “frenchies” should be prepared to interrupt church services with the “work hard in education or become a religious nut” joke, to be followed by the pre-set, frothing non apology.
Timing is critical, but the Dark Lord watches over all.
Werner
**END TRAN**
I can’t wait to see who’s next.
Did we ever learn who gave Jeff Gannon/Guckert the White House press pass?
**CRITICAL MESSAGE ACKNOWLEDGMENT*
DESIGNATION**COBALT BLUE BATS TOGA**
EYES ONLY: WERNER
CC: THE NAME THAT SHALL NOT BE SPOKEN
FROM: Olaf the clam eater
(message follows)
Operation to proceed. The pumpkin is in the trash. Harley took her mothballs home, she is waiting on my lawn. Affirmative on midnight plan “Kerry Merry Bo Berry.â€ÂRepeat: Affirmative on midnight plan “Kerry Merry Bo Berry.â€Â
All hail His creamy Cocoaness.
Olaf P. Krebs, , KKL 35th degree, 12th Ascendent Rainbow frogs field command – Order of the Colbalt Blue Mason Jars of America
(message ends.)
end tran.
“Did we ever learn who gave Jeff Gannon/Guckert the White House press pass?”
– Rumor has it that it was Dan Rather….
– You do know he’s a Rep mole under Rove don’t you? That whole fake memo’s thing was a brilliant move to paint the Dems as liar’s and cheats….
Seeing how I’m a liberal, pseudo-intellectual dipshit, the retail industry’s determination to bring on the holidays earlier every season has been a source of untold annoyance over the years. But when the president of the 30 million-member National Association of Evangelicals (NAE), the largest evangelical group in America, and a man who has Bush on his speed dial is outed for buying crystal methamphetamine and getting a massage (nudge nudge, wink wink) from a homosexual prostitute, I will welcome the fact that Christmas now comes in November. Happy Holidays to all! See you on Tuesday.
Barney Frank.
His number was written on the back.
Some people continue to conflate non-political figures with actual politicians. Amusing.
What do I do after I shred my eyes?
If fucking Bush hadn’t got stuck in Iraq, we could be looking for some faggot Imams so the Democrats would hate Islam, too.