Beautiful blonde scientist Shelley Batts, presently attempting to acquire a scholarship that would help the deaf, appeals for some understanding of her subject position:
Guys, guys. I appreciate all your political fervor, and would never ask *anyone* to vote against their conscience. However, keep in mind that I have not a thing to do with politics. Nothing. I am a scientist, pure and simple. And yes, you can beat me with a virtual chain if you give me your virtual vote.
Now, as Dan mentioned, I am cute. While in most fields, this would be a bonus, in science its more like a handicap. Imagine trying to get some science big-wig to take your research seriously when they are stuttering and staring at your tits? They don’t even heard a word. And add to this that I’m blonde, well I get the whole slew of dumb blonde stereotypes going against me too. I mean, just the fact that I’m not fat/smelly/awkward just makes it hard to make friends in grad school let alone get ahead in the field. And lets not even get into dates, as the guys my age in my classes are dull as stones and got the looks to match. So, alas, single.
So, won’t you guys root for the poor underdog and vote for me? Cute chicks everywhere demand it!
It is simply despicable, in my view, that people in PhD programs in the sciences would be so superficial as to assume that just because a woman is cute and blonde, she couldn’t possibly have the intellectual chops to be a valid contender. It angers me that people who are themselves not hindered in their field by not being fat, smelly or awkward would be so ignorant as to hold it against Shelley and both of the other women in this country who suffer from this extreme and vile ignorance. Staring at her tits! What red-blooded right wing guy would do such a thing when an ambitious scientist woman was yammering on about cochlear regeneration or something like that? Repugnant.
Vote for Shelley Batts. Bring some decent exterophenotypic expression to the sciences. Together, we can defeat this dreadful stereotyping on the part of fat, smelly, unattractive scientists. Haven’t cute blondes got enough to deal with as it is? Bastards.
UPDATE: Wow, I’m already getting emails. I knew you guys wouldn’t let us down. What can you do? Let Ace and Allah and Beth, and anyone else with whom you have a modicum of credibility know how crucial an issue this is, and how, together, we can send a message and strike a blow against fat, stinky, ugly scientists who stereotype, all over the globe. I know we can do this.
Also, I hate dKos diarists.
UPDATE: Shelley shows represents her tits in the comments
Dan, I think you’re on to something here: The Cute Chicks’ Liberation Front.
Let it begin with us.
ahem–
amen
Here’s a scientific question:
What color is air?
Blonde
I am also a scientist. Thank god I don’t have the terrible burden of being thin, fragrant, and graceful. You know, I can recall only one of my colleagues who was a beautiful blonde female. I never realized what a horrible handicap she labored under, the poor thing.
There ought to be some sort of charitable society to help beautiful blonde women, who are so marginalized in our society.
We need more men like my dad, who said to me, when I was just starting out, “You may get all A’s in school, but it’ll be the girl with the nice ass who gets the job.”
And we need more actresses like Kelly McGillis. When she was making Top Gun, she objected to being cast as just another blonde bimbo. So they made her a blonde bimbo astrophysicist.
And lets not even get into dates, as the guys my age in my classes are dull as stones and got the looks to match.
Calling your classmates (presumably all grad students is Real Science) a bunch of dullards and sign my name to it. That’s what I call socially graceful! That’s almost D3b Fr1sch-level social savoir faire. I am so grateful I do not suffer from such a terrible affliction.
Angie–
It was a send-up of blegging from a victim status, in order to get a little publicity to offset what the dKos diarist gets. She’s not being serious. I solicited the satire. Besides, you’re beautiful.
It was a send-up…
You cause me to manufacture excess bile, Dan, and I might just have to spend it on you.
Besides, you’re beautiful.
Heh heh. On the internet, no one knows you’re a dog.
Angie, I wasn’t serious in the *slightest.* But shhhhh don’t tell. I was just being a bit snarky and bitter about the DailyKos white male that’s currently in the lead. Just being a bit silly to drum up attention is all.
– Nobody liked my poem…. *sigh*
Well, Shel, I put your link in my journal, so I guess that will get you 1, maybe two votes. I dids my part!
I was almost buyin’ that satire. And I wasn’t offended. Is that a bad sign? Maybe I’m just tired and smoke-addled. Eh.
Good luck, by the way. Just maybe we’ll help you win this thing! Go dextrosphere!
Thank you River for your vote. And thank you BigBang for the poem. It certainly made me laugh out loud. The world needs more sonnets!
– Well then it was all worth it. Collins and I have a sort of running prose battle, although he usually carries forth with the ianic pantameter, while I stick to the stageplay musical scripts sort of thing. I’m surprised he hasn’t ripped off a few lines already. Natural impulse you see.
– We see a vivascious intelligent gal, and we both immediately stop dragging our knuckles, sit up straight, and go into muse mode.
Where is this Collins? I need his vote!
Dan….Dan Collins…. the Irish potato farmer, and part time perv, who’s writing your promotion posts….I thought you knew….
(It was a joke!)
– (So was that!) – See….I can play this blonde game….. *smirkle*
Doh! Thou foul trickster!
– Awwww…. you say the blondest things….pitter patter…Be still my brain….
– Have no idea where Dan is. He must have taken a powder. (which type we won’t go into)
– Well it’s Friday night, and that means two thing’s around the PW ranch….
1) we know immediately who has dates.
2) For the 2137th Friday in a row, we won’t be seeing any dancing by the four legged freeway crab…Otherwise known as the badboy Armadillo.
TW: use72 – then you can ask Allah for a replacement set…..
BBh, that was rather ungallant of you to point out poor Shelley has no date this friday night…
::sniffle::
Losing the scholarship, and now this? :( Meanies!
lee – I’m pretty sure “poor” Shelley could have a dance card the length of the Queen Mary if she wanted. Just a wild guess on my part though. (hint: She has a thing for guys with working brain cells, who don’t drive Volkswagon mini-bus’s, playing the gratefull dead at 120 decibles.)
Working brain cells a definite plus. So are classic Mustangs. In fact, I’ll wave the brain cells requirement in you have one.
– ‘64 Gold, spinners, and a 461 hemi… Sound about right?
– Even has the original factory “throaty growl”…
Bwahhhhh….. ::drools::
My first two cars were 60s stangs. A 1965 straight 6 hardtop and then a 1966 289 red convertible. God I miss those cars.
Best be specific with a man BBhs age…he’ll show up on a horse.
– Awwww if I were only
3015 years younger…. Oh yeh…..yep…yep….– Hey…. who do you think we are Hertz?
TW: stud94 …..Shut up you turing twit….You’re just jealous….
BBH, I am afraid you’re showing your age in more ways than one.
Preference for ownership of classic Mustangs isn’t “waiving the requirement” for working brain cells. Nowadays, after forty-odd years (some very odd), a person who has a VW Microbus in working order and a functioning 8-track player with a still-useful Grateful Dead tape to play in it has a lot in common with one who drives a ‘66 Cobra—it’s evidence that the individual has several functional brain cells, many of them devoted to motor control. (Or, possibly, a good bit of money and reasonably good taste, which IME are a decent substitute when taken together, if not plainly preferable in some ways.)
Try to maintainn some situational awareness. Look what failure to realize what’s contemporary and what isn’t does for John from Mass.
Regards,
Ric
– Well see Ric, it’s like this. Once you’re in your dodage, you find you had nothing to worry about, and you tend to eschew the empty fears of youth, and go for the good that life has to offer. Among them vintage cars, although a mini-bus is a bit of a stretch, even for my tastes. A good tape deck is not all that hard to come by….Lots of refurbished units available, in good enough working order I can even enjoy my favorite BeeGee tracks from time to time. As far as “waving brain cells”, that was an offer from Shelley herself, none of my doing. I’m sure she’d prefer both. When you’ve seen as many Pop-fads come and go as I have, you get the benefit of picking and chosing, simply because you find you don’t particularly care if someone doesn’t think it’s “kewl”. And that’s alright too, if you get my drift. In a phrase I think sums it all up. “It’s all good”.
Sorry, BBh–
Didn’t mean to abandon the thread, but I had a teenagers vs parents soccer match yesterday, in addition to my crossdressing gig for the United Way, and I ache all over. Had to take a bath and hit the sack early.
I can’t prove it, but like how Daredevil can tell an attractive woman by odor, I can tell an attractive woman by writing style.
*nods*
Like I said, I can’t prove it. But its fun to say.
River,
Wisely said. It’s the journey, not the destination.
In keeping with the superficiality of the good looking versus the seriousness of the ugly, if you show me your boobs I’ll vote twice.
Yes. Yes. I was raised by wolves.
(o)(o)
Will that do?
They’re certainly nicely symmetrical.
All my votes are belong to you Shelley.
See, not one stutter.
Thank you Ted! Clearly enunciated indeed.
As a fat, stinky, ugly scientist I really resent what’s insinuated here. I’ll have you know I always look a woman right in the eye before I check out her chest!