Well, since it’s Friday and OJ’s in the news and Kofi’s on his way out and this’ll be the last time this will have any slight relevance, I’ll post one of my greatest hits. It originally appeared in February, 2005 in My Old Gray Etc.
In the wake of the Volcker report on the UN oil-for-food scandal, Kofi Annan’s vow to find the perpetrators–no matter where it might lead–brought on a fit of hallucinations resulting in the following…
Kofi’s Inferno
Midway upon the journey of our life
I found myself within a forest dark,
For the straightforward highway had been lost.
Aw, nuts! I missed the turn. Sir, can you help?
So lost in slumber was I, that I strayed.
Have pity on me, whether shade or man!
He answered: “Not man; though man once I was.
I killed my wife, Nicole, and her friend, Ron.
The glove did fit but I would not admit.”
“If from this place we would escape, let’s go!”
A bag of clubs over his shoulder slung and on he moved,
I following behind…
Frankly, an exhaustive recounting of the rest of my hallucination, which ended with me naked in the parking lot of a package goods emporium just outside Brownsville, Texas is beyond the scope of this entry. Besides, my attorney has given me strict instructions to limit my comments. However, this is the gist:
Kofi and his doughty guide, Orenthal, trudge through the Vale of Diplomatic Immunity, climb several stone walls and ferry across the River of Crocodile Tears until they reach the entrance to the UN. Ignoring the sign above the gate that says, “Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here.” they proceed. To their amazement, the UN is much smaller on the inside than it appears to be from the outside.
Their quest to discover The Truth takes them on a riveting adventure deep into the bowels of the UN, through a Thin Tissue of Lies and across a forest of Greased Palms to an increasingly confusing maze of cutouts, middlemen and screen companies.
On their way to the Security Council, they encounter many physical challenges including a heart-pounding trip down the Cataract of the River of Graft which culminates in a sighting of the Frozen Heart of Saddam Hussein, and a tricky and dangerous walk across the backs of a series of cash cows between which there is no apparent connection whatever! There’s also a terrifying Descent into the Abyss of Maleboge which I include mainly because I wanted to use the word, ‘Maleboge’, in a sentence.
In their journey, they meet many fantastical beings, including The Alligators of Impropriety, The Baldfaced Clueless, The Dirty Hypocrites, The Falsifiers, The Nepotists and the dreaded Laxness Monitors. Running for their very lives, Kofi and Orenthal only just manage to make it to an autograph-signing by Jacques Chirac, who’s in town for an ethics conference. Due to a wrong turn made while racing through the Minefield of Allegations, they miss seeing the Mountain of Evidence, but most of the rides there are closed on Monday, anyway.
Oddly, all this all takes no more than about five minutes.
The truth is never discovered.
Turns out our “good friends,” the government of Australia, made the most profit off of the Iraqi oil for food scandal…
There once was a man from Australia…
Uncomfortable, and yes, even alarmist, yet you know it is the blunt truth that you are trying to avoid thinking and acting on.
Well if you prefer not to see American women cloaked in Bhurkas, this is the time to get on side for America.
Its idiots like Iggy, part of the *Jane Fonda* team, when he was in the USA, that lost us the Vietnam contest through sowing disunity among the confused.
This book blurb . . .
Divided We Fall: How Disunity Leads to Defeat
==============================
In this excellent new book on the Vietnam War, James Rothrock demonstrates that disunity on the home front was the most significant and influential factor leading to the U.S. failure to defend South Vietnam from North Vietnamese aggression.
This disunity was incited and fueled by the antiwar movement, a *second front* which became a major weapon in Hanoi’s arsenal.
The antiwar movement gave our enemies confidence and encouraged them to hold out in the face of battlefield defeats.
Divided We Fall reveals the full impact of the second front; how it influenced the conduct of the war and helped to determine its final outcome.
https://www.vvlf.org/default.php?page_id=25
============
North America is fuzzy-minded and without a clear picture once again today.
Only difference is, if the Kerry / Jane Fonda gang confuse America a second time, we will lose every freedom we have today.
There is a Muqtada Al-Sadr wave in Iraq that must be stopped, [ 3 police stations blasted flat just this morning. Amara swarmed ], or else home-based bombings will be next, and this time we will end up wearing turbans, buhrkas and beards.
NO! Wake up America! Wake up Europe!
This can not be happening. The undecided talk is just an election ploy. The worst possible time for talking *waffle*.= TG
OK,
VVLF – stuff to sniff and smoke over
Reminds me of my Italian friends, Nel Mezzo, Del Cammin, Dino Stravita.
Dan, Dan: WTF happened? Did everyone start smoking early this afternoon? I’ve been busy, but still.
monky: Pearls before swine….
I don’t know, ahem. I’ve been trying to explain jokes to people for the last two days. Everything’s either too vague or too obvious.
I think I’m just going to start drinking heavily. After all, it’s Friday.
Koffi and his Canadian *Dr. Know* pal, Maurice Strong, are so schmoozily connected that they can afford to safely ignore any legal authority sniffing around for those missing OIF Billion$. [Iraq -> Swiss?-> ]
Makes US law evader, investments pirate and pensions thief, Conrad *Teflon Black, look like a rookie.
However, I suspect that my American friends have been humanely shielded from seeing the *Contractors in Iraq* documentary.
You know, the video documenting of bales of US 100$ lifted and sorted by fork lift in a warehouse in Iraq.
The bales used at times for a quick football game during the lunch hour.
Not certain of where I saw that. May have been Canada*s CBC.ca [slightly like PBS ] and a Docu-weekly program called,
* The Passionate Eye *.
The routine goes something like, hire contractor, pay contractor, try to re-locate contrator, start over.
It was a docu-story. Live, one on one interviews and Video of forklift moving money bales in a warehouse.
My nightmares never get this good. Just can*t make this stuff up. = TG