“I see Jeff is moving you into the new digs.”

“Yea. I hate it.”

“Why?”

“He upgraded the locks. Makes it harder to break out.”

“Doesn’t mean you can’t snipe out the window.”

“Armored glass.”

“That’s a bummer. Care for a drink?”

“Coke would be nice. Thanks.

“Oh, he also blocked access to certain sites on my computer.”

“Porn?”

“Firearms.”

“Now that is a bummer.”

“Thou kiddeth not. How am I going to keep up on the latest ammo for my .50cal? I have my eye on a round that can go through three cop cars and two human bodies, and still smell minty fresh.”

“Feel your pain.”

“You have ballooned, Mr. Clinton.”

“Anyway… The Borg have declined your request for asylum. They don’t need the emotional stress.”

“So it’s talk with Goldstein’s people.”

“With the proper attitude and a good lawyer I’m sure he’ll drop the ball and chain. But the THC pump is going to be harder.”

“Damn it! I have nothing against getting mellow, but on my schedule for crying out loud.”

“Well, looks like this is it.”

“Yeah, looks like it. You know Kellogg, after all this time I have concluded that you are an annoying dweeb.”

“While you are a pyschopathic insectivore.”

“How long before the restraining order goes into effect?”

“‘Bout half an hour.”

“Good, that’ll give me plenty of time to get out of the kill zone. See you sometime.”

“Not if my aim’s improved.”

SFX: sound of tiny feet on linoleum, followed by door opening and closing. Followed, in turn, by the sounds of a car door opening and closing and a car engine starting up. Sound of car driving away.

“Wonder when he’ll notice the banded kraits?”

“YEARGGGGH!”

“Must’ve sat on one.”

[posted by Mythusmage]