From Kathleen Parker:
The problem with petitions and “I Had An Abortion’’ T-shirts, such as those hawked by Planned Parenthood, is that they trivialize the deeply emotional and spiritual consequences many women suffer. They also deny girls and young women access to the nobler feminist position that knowledge is power.
Of what are you so proud, you’d like to proclaim it on a t-shirt? I Had a Colostomy? I Had a Little Lamb (from behind)? Your Girlfriend Had An Abortion?
Please add your suggestions in comments.
UPDATE: for inspiration, consider that Jessica Biel’s entire body is a tongue.
UPDATE x2: Stop sending me “-ectomy” stuff . . . you guys are just getting drunk!
– As ,well as those pesky little details about voluntary murder still being listed as a felony.
How about: “you can use my uterus – Just don’t expect me to raise your little bastard”
or: “Next Time Your Womb needs Cleaning, give us a call – Infantcides-R-Us”
Once they start wearing these t-shirts, we’ll know they’re really losing perspective.
“I have No Colon Polyps, Yay!”
“Your Sister is Having My Baby”
“Asperger’s Runs In The Family”
“I’ve Had a Vasectomy”
“All My Teeth Are Real Except For Number 14, Which Has a Crown”
For the record, while I was already on the Jessica Biel beat, I fully support open source Biel-blogging.
And now I know what Dan meant when he called it “exceptional stuff.”
BTW, isn’t “I Had An Abortion” kinda vague? How ‘bout “I Had A Partial-Birth Abortion,” illustrated with a line drawing?
How about,
Some excellent suggestions so far. How about:
“I Wish I Could Have an Abortion”
Gotta show solidarity and demonstrate that you’re not all essentialist about it.
How about “I’d Rather Be Having An Abortion”?
Though I concede it would make a better bumper sticker than teeshirt.
How about the hanges on in the Women’s studies department wearing the “I’d have had an abortion if I were a woman… So can we still go out on fiday?”
Oh, I forgot the other favorite “My kid would have been a honor student at Smith Elementary but I had him sucked out of my womb because I didn’t want streach marks.”
My kid would have beaten the crap out of your kid if I hadn’t aborted it.
“I have the same right to an abortion that gays have to marry.”
Hmm…
“Will you have my abortion?”
or…
“Abortion means never having to throw it in the dumpster yourself”
This could get ugly.
tw: making53 Ewwww.
We’re there, man.
I think we’ve pretty much exhausted the abortion angle. Well, I hope so.
I guess not:
“Give me your stem cells, bitch.”
“I had a colectomy.”
“I had an eliostomy.”
“I had a tonsilectomy.”
“You wear the Burka, I’ll get the abortion”
For when feminists are marching with Islamists. It happens in Ann Arbor, you know.
For PC politically cute soccer, scout, classroom volunteer, PTA, La Leche, Little League, Sunday School teacher, homemaker and hipster moms everywhere:
“I wish I had an abortion” tees.
(Available in pink, blue or urban black.)
Catherine–
Then they could dress up the child in an “I’m With Stupid” shirt.
Right, Dan!
But I’m thinking a really smart kid would slip on a “Young Republican” shirt.
“My abortion vacationed in a biohazard bin and all I got was this bloody t-shirt”
I wish I had been aborted
For the goth/emo kids.
Master Baiter:
Over 100 Billion Viable Wigglers Wasted So Far
“You should never ask a child to do what you’ve never done yourself. So die.”
“I’m from a C section”
These may be tasteless, but I’m going for it:
“I’m Wearing a Colostomy Bag”
“In Remission”
“Mommy says when I grow up, I can have an abortion!”
“I had a cholecystectomy”
“I had an esophagoscopy”
“I had a dorsolateral prefrontal cortectomy”
“Don’t mind my skull – I was a high forceps delivery”
“I envy enemas”
“I’m hypospadic”
– “Liberals – the self exterminating party”
– “You’d be kind of pissy too, if you barely escaped the drill”
“Menstruating”
What about “I may not go down in history. but I’ll go down on your little sister”?