…debuts today on Hot Air.
Unfortunately, neither Bethany nor Mary Katharine appear anywhere in it. Which is why I’ll be skipping it and watching “The View,” instead.
So, whaddya say. Who’s with me?
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Where, man? I don’t see it.
Doesn’t go up until the morning. But I’ll be sleeping in, so I wanted to get the post up now.
And by sleeping in, I mean passed out in a closet.
Stupid clock changing machine.
Either way, the viewer watches hot air.
Let me see if I can guess…
you’re not as cute as Beth.
Du-oh.
tw: without a doubt
Only if they’re previewing the new fall shoe line.
C’mon now. Rosie O’Donnell emoting over her tough upbringing and how it forced her to take charge when all she really wanted to do was be a kid?
That shit is heart wrenching.
Must see tv, is what it is.
So. I say it again—WHO’S WITH ME?
Boo to that. The View, I mean.
And you’d better watch it with that “Must see tv” stuff. I’m sure NBC has a pack of rabid lawyers.
Well, Elisabeth Hasselbeck could make it all worthwhile! Until you put Rosie on the set. Then, I’d rather set my nads on fire than cast qan eye upon such horror.
Maybe I’ll just hang out here.
This was the first week [way too soon for this to be it!] of the new semester… And though I don’t have any classes tomorrow (which is actually now today), I don’t think I’ll be tuning in for either of those broadcasts.
There are better things to do, on this final work day of ”First Week.”
Well, it’s Friday night here and it still isn’t up.
Either that or you look a lot like Bethany.
I hope it goes up soon, because I’ve got an episode of Project Runway to watch.
Bethany=hottie
Posted by Pixie Pug
Let me guess:
short, obese, hairy legs, hasn’t kissed a guy in about 5 years.
Thus your comments.
It is a rather interesting phenomina that conservative women are better looking than their liberal counterparts.
Maybe that’s one of the reasons why the left is so angry…
^
phenominaphenomenaAce–
I don’t think that the Pixie Pug is a disgruntled leftie. I think that she means that it’s “hot”, y’know, and it’s “air”, in the sense of an assemblage of pixels on a screen. Also, she likes my stupid song parodies.
And it’s Mary Katharine, two a’s.
Nice teeth! Nice kitchen! Nice rubik cube t-shirt! Sound finantial advice! Thats it I’m becoming a republican.
You got that right, Ace!
We’re normally a lot more humble too.
<cringe> That pic of Hill-da beast’s bust is
burned into my waking nightmares. </cringe>
TW: There oughta be a law.
Damn, I’m going to have to wait until after work (hotair is blocked). But I did see yesterday’s, and I concur: Bethany’s teh secks.
‘Cept her eyebrows – sometimes they arch way too high. Makes me wonder if maybe she’s not human.
Not that it changes anything…
I’ve had a look at your site, Dave. I think you might do well as an intern at al-Guardian. Also, don’t they teach spelling or punctuation in Blighty, anymore? Hmmmmm?
TW: nice try
Let me know how that works out for you Jeff…
I would have hung around longer if she had taken her top off.Yes. I’m a pig. Besides. It looked like it was going to turn evangelical on my ass.
“Who’s with me?”
Sorry, but I’m busy reappreciating the intricacies of the Rubik’s boob.
Jeff’s IM Exchange with Allah:
JeffG: It’s Friday 9:00 eastern ….
JeffG: So, when’s my vent going up?
Allah: Well, Bethany’s Vent is still getting major hits.
JeffG: What are you saying?
Allah: Well the Boss wants hits
Allah: and Bethany and MK are delivering
JeffG: …..
JeffG: …..
Allah: But we’ve got your Vent if we need it.
Allah: and I still like you.
JeffG: ….
JeffG: I hate having a penis.
And by sleeping in, I mean passed out in a closet
Don’t do it man! ‘cause then you’ll puke in your shoes.Trust me. It ain’t good.
To The Ace:
Sorry you misunderestimated me. Dan was right, I was making a joke. (Lame, I guess). I meant Hot Air the Vent name or hot air that comes out of the coffee club women. Either way, the viewer watches hot air.
For the record, I’m not short, obese, hairylegged, or liberal. I don’t know if I’m goodlooking or not. I vote conservative. I’ve mentioned here before that I’m gay-but it’s not an issue,right?
TW:manner
Didn’t mean it in the manner it was taken.
Bad News for Jeff
Bethany’s new Vent is taking her case directly to Allah.
I always wondered – if “The View” somehow collided with “The Man Show”, would there be an enormous explosion? Kinda like a matter/ant-matter thing, y’know? All that testosterone cancelling out all that estrogen…
Hmmm. Need. More coffee.
SB: parts
man parts, that is
“Hey man, you’ve got a ponytail, how can you not help”.
“Flips flops, patriots don’t wear flip flops”
I’m dyin’ here! Nicely done!
Oh, and I love the Billy Jack in the “test pattern”…
Don’t know about Johnny Cash, but John Wayne was a patriot and I think he wore flip flops in “Donovan’s Reef”.
Very good video, surprising responses.
Next up, Jeff does na in depth investigation into the international arms trafficing in bolo ties.
Good job, Jeff.
Two thumbs up.
tw: I looked.
An.
an in depth investigation…
preview is my friemd.
Great job Jeff! You should do more of these.
Your characters cracked me up.
Oh, man. Coffee snorting. Didn’t you used to do standup, Jeff?
You done good, son.
Now I’m just eagerly waiting for Sadly, No! to post a photoshopped screenshot.
Good job!
Was the right wing guy your neighbor? The one whose comments have made occasional appearances here?
Oh, wait, that’s you!
“Isn’t that a problem?”
“Not if you’re an American.”
I love it! Nice job, Jeff. Who knew you were a master of disguise?
I liked the report. How did you get John Bolton to go with the mullet? Seriously, though, that guy made me laugh. Patriots don’t wear flip flops. F*ckin’ A right they don’t.
The question is, if you put the two guys in some part of Red America, like the parking lot of a Wal Mart in Salt Lake City, I wonder if the number of signatures each collected would be reversed.
Me, I personally don’t think so.
I think progressives “know” that they’re progressive, and therefore are confident that no matter how outrageous the petition, no one would brand them an anti-Semite, even if the petition would be considered by a reasonable person to be anti-Semitic. Because they’re all about peace love and understanding, even when they’re not.
I think conservatives have been lectured to their whole lives about how they are actually closet anti-Semites, bigots, and homophobes, and therefore would be unwilling to go even an inch out on the limb, because they don’t even want the appearance of endorsing something that could even be unreasonably construed as being bigoted. Conservatives understand the concept of being as pure as Caesar’s wife.
So I think you’d still get more signatures on the “progressive’s” sheet. But it’d be an interesting followup.
Gotta say, not a fan of the denim cutoffs.
Maybe some tight, tapered leg jeans? Or twill cargo shorts above the knee? Oh, and don’t forget the man-purse/fanny pack.
Lemme know and I’ll ship you some of mine…
Nice work Jeff! You made my morning! Except if you could never wear short shorts again, that would be grrreat.
I am … he’s got dimples in his knees.
Nicely done, Jeff.
Anti-Semite? I’m not an anti-Semite, I’m circumcised.
Classic.
Nope Pixie, its no biggie at all (despite what the 3L’s might say…) I think what bothers most conservatives is people who intend to use their homosexuality as a political tool to gain entitlements or attack the culture/society as a whole.
Which is why Sully is such a pain in the butt.
Anyway, good Vent, Jeff! For some reason I imagined you having facial hair… but you’ve definitely kept up the meme of ‘good looking conservatives’. (That’s a man-compliment.)
Which (again) is why Allahpundit hasn’t shown up in one…
TW (highlighted in my text.)
Jeff:
Nicely done. Some better audio (maybe some more subtitles) would be much appreciated.
While obviously jokey in presentation–you really should try that experiment out at an ANSWER-type rally with a more “serious” presentation and see what response you get.
But until you wear the “Eatin’ Ain’t Cheatin’” t-shirt, your paleocon is lacking.
That was as good as any SNL skit I’ve seen since the ‘70’s. Well done, indeed.
Jeff,
Fantastic job on the Friday Vent. I know first-hand how hard it is to shoot & edit a video. EXCELLENT job. I laughed out loud.
Well done, Jeff! Looking forward to the next one.
Nice job, Jeff.
Bravo. Bravo.
That was well done. Crack-up lines for me:
“They’ve got bolo ties.”
“Some of my best friends own copies of ‘Annie Hall’.”
“Right. Who *is* Gary Coleman?”
“You’ve got tattoos. That used to mean something.”
Hysterical!
FEAR THE BOLO!!!
When bolo ties are illegal only illegals will have bolo ties.
Think about it.
Far less sucky than I would have anticipated. Well done. I’ll buy you a beer tonight.
(Before, I was going to mug you in the men’s room and take your wallet. So that’s gotta be an improvement.)
To The Ace:
Sorry you misunderestimated me. Dan was right, I was making a joke. (Lame, I guess). I meant Hot Air the Vent name or hot air that comes out of the coffee club women. Either way, the viewer watches hot air.
MY APOLOGIES to you!
Now that’s my kind of guy.
It was kinda disappointing. If it was from an unknown talent it would have been OK. But from Jeff G? I wanted to hear a million moonbat voices cry out in terror.
The positives:
-the one-liners like the ones Patrick pointed to above
-the main point of the monologue at the end
Otherwise, it just lacked oomph. I certainly couldn’t do better, but I don’t want you to get only lavish praise, and think you’ve hit your peak.
I apologize for being a party pooper.
Great job. Encore. Oh, and next time could you please walk away from the camera at the end like Caruso does on CSI Miami? In very tight pants? Slowly?
Look, Ma! NO BOOBIES!!!
Great job…..thank you.
(and SondraK was pleased….)
Pass the paste!
Tough love, Irene. But all can be ignored. Jeff is cute!
TW: know, as in “Don’t you know that attractive people can get away with anything because they’re better than everyone else?)
Dude, cracked me up.
Encore, encore…
Well, I don’t know about the rest of you, but the bit about the army of stealthy Mexican bolo tie assassins just waiting for their opportunity to strike was a major wake-up call for me.
And it also put me in the mood for some nice, crispy flautas.
Only So Cal Patriots wear flip flops.
“Some of my best friends own a copy of Annie Hall”
Classic.
Looks like she tought you were cute! Now go get her!
“Eye Candy
Posted by: Mary Katharine Ham at 11:11 AM
Jeff Goldstein does Vent today. Hilarious, as expected.
I thought he was probably cute, but he’s younger than I thought he’d be. Nice.
Email It | Print It | Take Action | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)”
http://www.townhall.com/blog/MaryKatharineHam
That one guy was absolutely right about the bolo ties, man. I don’t know how many “little yellow brothers in black pajamas” I greased with one in ‘Nam, but it was a lot, believe me. Them things are the shizzle!
SB: zipper
head
Bolo tie…who’s Gary Coleman…that was hilarious. Can’t wait for the next installment.
Jeff
Hilarious!!!
Now, where can I get a pair of those shorts?
That was fun. So the point was what—people in Denver are really nice to strangers with vidcams? Doing a man-on-the-street, especially one with a complex premise, for your first effort was ambitious, and you knew it would be difficult. A Bethany-like stand-up (preferably, with Bethany—I know nobody’s mentioned it, but am I the only one who thinks she’s kinda hot?) would’ve been far easier. Can’t wait for the next one, though.
Well, you know what happens to great TV—the network always cancels it. So make the most of it while you can, and be sure to invest your residuals in a nicely diversified portfolio.
A hoot.
does that mustache have a name?
Oh—and the Mercedes-Benz logo for a peace sign was a nice touch.
I’ll admit it, I only watched because I thought Jeff would whip it out and cockslap some lefty. You’re saving that footage for the DVD, right?
I think that mustache deserves a name. Good idea.
Mustache names:
St George
ethan
ronald
don lugo
Todd,
Call Andrew Sullivan he can knit you a pair of jean shorts.
I think Jeff’s theatrical moustache should wear a tiny pin that reads “WWRD” (What Would Regis Do).
Mustache name suggestions:
The Cobra
Don Juan
TW: filled…would that make a good name?
Now I’m just eagerly waiting for Sadly, No! to post a photoshopped screenshot.
No kidding! You know how hard it was to get all that mileage out of a single 85-pixel 3/4 profile image?
Punch Drunk Con??
[Sorry, but freeze frame photo on Aceblog is too much like Adam Sandler to wholly ignore… although JG way funnier… ;-]
Lou
How about Hank?
Not a problem atall. I’ve known a great many gays–I was a towel boy at the local bathouse in college–and many of them would vote GOP but for it’s pandering to fundies. Shame, too, when you think about it, cause Jesus looks kinda, you know, in all the paintings.
Which unbelievably brings me to Jeff’s Hot Air production. Well done, sir. The visual medium works for you; your run-on sentences seem more eloquent when spoken rather than read. Nevertheless, I can’t help but wonder if you made the cut off shorts for the video, or just picked them out of your armoir.
Yeah, and not that this is a piano bar where we can make requests or anything, but how’s old Anna Nicole doing nowadays?
Chairman, that’s an excellent thought. I miss annanancole.
I know a great many gays as well.
Only they don’t know they’re gay….yet.
Dude! I, like, SO found you a new hoodie:
Click
SB: level
headed
WHERE’S THE HATE-TRAFFIC, DUDE?
I WANT MY ATRIOS LINK AND I WANT IT NOW.
I bet Dr. Deb’s dying to comment over there.
She’s out of luck.
Brilliant. Street theatre mocking political discourse.
And for video, Bethany’s got nothing on you.
OK, I lied…..
Very well done. I hope there are more where this one came from.
So now what? Bollo ties aren’t allowed in carry-on luggage now? Great. Thanks a lot. Thanks a whole fuckin lot.
“It was better than “Cats”. I’m going to see it again and again.”
“It was better than “Cats”. I’m going to see it again and again.”
“It was better than “Cats”. I’m going to see it again and again.”
No, really. Fine work, young man. Now man up and get rid of those shorts! Normal guys don’t wear shorts like that, unless their initials are Andy Sullivan.
“Call Andrew Sullivan he can knit you a pair of jean shorts.”
No Lou,
I have seen you pair he sent you, too tight, and I am not cool with the stains either……
You know how strange it is that you’d try to get so much mileage out of a single 85 pixel 3/4 profile image of a paste eater?
What are you, retardo?
That is some seriously funny stuff. I’ll never look at a PEZ dispenser the same way again.
Nicely done Jeff.
Damn right Johnny cash wouldn’t wear flip flops…
Jeff, the chicks in the comments over at Hot Air are totally slobbering over you.
Yummy! (And I say that in a purely empirical sense, based on unbiased observation and commonly accepted cultural mores of attractiveness. That’s all.)
I love starting the day out with a great belly laugh. So thanks for that! You’ve really connected with your sketch comedy calling!
Dare I hope for more?
Fuggin’ hilarious. I was watching out of the corner of one eye at work, so teh funnay snuck up on me.
Mustache Names
THe Rabbi
When I first saw “neither Bethany nor Mary Katharine,” my first thought was, “shouldn’t that be Mary-Kate and Ashley”?
TW: however
Brilliant Jeff!