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An inexhaustive list of things that can happen when you take NyQuil during the day

1.  You forget to add the “Original Oriental Flavor” flavor packet to your Top Ramen noodles

2.  You recoil at the taste of unadorned noodles, curse Asians

3.  You eat a slice of muenster cheese, instead

4.  You go back to sleep.

5. 

70 Replies to “An inexhaustive list of things that can happen when you take NyQuil during the day”

  1. N. O'Brain says:

    Boringestest. Post. Ever.

  2. Bleepless says:

    Then you ah, uh, ummm, aaaaaaaaaaaaa.

  3. me says:

    5. You wake up next to a cigarette smoking armadillo.

  4. Carin says:

    As long as you didn’t lose the little tyke.

  5. goddessoftheclassroom says:

    Don’t forget the Vick’s Vapr-Rub.  Most soothing stuff.

  6. Major John says:

    Ah…Nyquil.  The answer to the age old question, “so how does a voodoo raised zombie feel”?  Take a blast of Nyquil, and you know.

  7. Big Bang Hunter says:

    ….In other news, that intrepid hard hitting investigative reporter, Jason Leopold, has still not stated a specific date for the imminant Rove indictment, teasing his avid readers. Insiders say it will surely happen sometime in the next mellenium…..

    TW: Who will stop the histamine….

  8. rho says:

    NyQuil is teh awesome. Mix it with Jagermeister for that “ooops, I could die” edge.

    Top Ramen is teh awful. Helps if you put salsa on it.

  9. Retired Marine says:

    Only an idiot would do that, but then…………………….

  10. RiverCocytus says:

    I dunno. Top Ramen is pretty good. But strangely unfilling. I could eat like three packages and still be hungry. But, at 20 cents apiece, one can hardly complain… (what would you expect?)

  11. Prometheus in a tub of Ramen says:

    How long does a business hour seem on NyQuil?

    Maruchan is teh r0><><0r.

  12. ken says:

    Prequel to buying NyQuil–having your ID swiped because of the fucking tweakers.

  13. Dana says:

    Back in the poor old days, I developed a taste for Ramen Noodles, ‘cause they were 20¢ a pack.  But for God’s sake, Jeff, get the Cajun Chicken flavor one instead!

  14. Dana says:

    River Phoenix wrote:

    I dunno. Top Ramen is pretty good. But strangely unfilling. I could eat like three packages and still be hungry.

    I have several heavy duty bowls that will allow the serving of two packages of Cajun Chicken flavor noodles at once.  Such bowl is frequently at the computer desk as I read the lovely Dr Frisch’s favorite blogger!

  15. Witheld says:

    You guys is being “harsh.” I like this one is better then “mucus faucet.”

    But not saying much, admittingly.  (Give a brake, guys he’s under weather. 

    I remember when doing Robo was a thing in colledge.  (“Robo” was the street name of you drank a whole bottle of Robotussin cough syrup.) Okay.  Firstly.  How lame is that.  Second of all.  Yuck.  Third, you might end up in the emergency room on a count of all the invisible bugs, and then you’re friends all have to tell the ER nurse about what you drnak a bottle of Robo. Which, that is just no way to pretend thats cool. 

    Just sayin.

  16. wishbone says:

    Sign number 453.2-A that our civilization is in serious trouble:

    Top Ramen is teh awful. Helps if you put salsa on it.

    The horror….

  17. David Block says:

    Lovely as an adjective modifying Dr. Frisch’s?

    Get some glasses, please.

  18. RiverCocytus says:

    lol, yeah, I might consider double-servings. Though I’ll have to do a little bit of calculation to figure out the boiling length for the noodles…

    And its RiverCocytus… not Phoenix. (Ever read Dante’s Inferno?)

    TW: JUSTICE!

  19. The Monster says:

    Ramen Noodles are an essential ingredient, along with last night’s leftovers, in what a former co-worker used to call Halfway House Hash.

    TW: This is a tough room

  20. ThomasD says:

    Ask any avid backpacker.  At any time, somewhere in the world, someplace in the backcountry, someone is eating ramen.

  21. 6Gun says:

    Speaking of breakfast, Jeff (and with a suitable hat tip to one erstwhile Captain Holly in the previous thread) have you tried Deadwood Pancakes? (NWS.)

  22. B Moe says:

    Third, you might end up in the emergency room on a count of all the invisible bugs, and then you’re friends all have to tell the ER nurse about what you drnak a bottle of Robo. Which, that is just no way to pretend thats cool.

    That would be better than jumping in the dude next door’s pool to get them off, because nurses are easier to talk to than cops, and the bugs don’t wash off anyway.

    What are you staring at?

  23. lunarpuff says:

    Top Ramen is my favorite emergency food.

    I eat them dry with the little seasoning packet sprinkled on top.

  24. funkychicken says:

    strong hot tea, 2 bags worth, at least a tablespoon of honey and the juice from a whole lemon.

    yes, it’s my mom’s recipe

  25. Witheld says:

    I don’t know where you did your colledge, but in my day we didn’t have no “dude next door’s pool.” Sorry but. 

    Its true that Cambridge Apts. had a pool, but you would of had to climb the fence which is hard when Roboing.

    In my experiance though the cops were prtetty cool about you were swimming in Cambridge Apts. pool.  As long as you were with some girls. 

    And they were naked. 

    The thing about Ramen is the gas.  Serously.  It took me most of sophmore year to figure out the what was cause of it.  I can’’t tell you how embrassing that was.

  26. Witheld says:

    Basicly what I’m saying if your feeling good enough to go sneak in the pool, you don’t NEED to go to the emergency room. 

    That’s just a rule. 

    If your on the roof though a diffrent story.  I can’t TELL you how many guys I’ve seen who should NOT of been on the roof.

  27. MarkD says:

    Top Ramen is bad, but bad Ramen is better than no Ramen.  The noodles are the worst part, because they go from crunchy to mushy without much in between.  I prefer the Maruchan Cup Noodle for emergency supplies myself (the shrimp flavor.) I’ve got a couple packages stashed at work, just in case.

    The good instant Ramen (Myojo) is way better but it runs about $2 a package.  The noodles have a better consistency than the cheap stuff and the flavor is better.  The soy and miso flavors are best.

    Watch “Tampopo” and you’ll never view Ramen the same way again.

  28. Sticky B says:

    The last time I took Nyquil to get some sleep I literally felt my face pulsing the next day. Turns out Nyquil is a huge no-no for people who are being treated for high blood pressure. I went to the ER and my usual 140/88 was running 221/198. The ER doc started a pool on when I’d stroke. It took about 3 weeks to get that shit out of my system. The moral of the story is, that all you old fuckers need to be careful about taking it.

  29. CraigC says:

    Dja ever check the sodium content in Top Ramen? No wonder I was always thirsty all through my twenties. And hungry. Well, that was for another reason entirely.

  30. Major John says:

    ThomasD,

    Personally I just haul around a few MREs.  But Ramen doesn’t sound bad either.

  31. Big Bang Hunter says:

    – Duly noted Sticky, and thanks for the tip. I recently found I own a sizable decending Aortic aneurysm, and that could be just what I’d need to make it blow like vasuvious. It’s a part of the bathroom clutter of meds, and easy to grab if you’re getting too stuffy from what-not.

    TW: Are there any more questions? No doc-ka-tor.

  32. Jeff,

    If you’re taking Nyquil for a faucet nose you’re really out of it. Get the stuff out of your system and try Actifed or Sudafed, if your doctor will allow it.  They’ll dry you out long enough to let you get some sleep so you can be miserable and awake.

    I used to work with a guy who was addicted to Nyquil–they gave out packages free to college students and he discovered the alcohol content.  Eventually he went to Hawaii, surfed, and dried out. The stuff is dangerous.  So are Ramen noodles, even if you throw the little packet with all the salt in it away.

  33. gahrie says:

    Myself…I prefer the instant Won Ton soups……

  34. Squid says:

    Watch “Tampopo” and you’ll never view Ramen the same way again.

    Damn, what a fun flick that one is!  Haven’t watched it in ages, though—I may have to scrounge up a copy.

    And Witheld: you are a shining example to us all.

  35. Karl says:

    …hence, the invention of DayQuil.

  36. Sean M. says:

    What hasppened to the horror?  I come for the horror and stay for the pie.

  37. BoZ says:

    Mistake. NyQuil has recently been rendered useless for booger-head. They even took “sniffling” out of their slogan and commercial ditty, because all it’s good for now is getting weirdly high and injuring yourself.

    because of the fucking tweakers

    Yerp. Just this morning in Texarkana, one of their home-legislation labs blew up and killed nine girl babies. Saw it on CNN.

    good instant Ramen (Myojo)

    All the ninjas I know endorse Dosirac. Very quietly. That’s why you don’t know.

  38. Sortelli says:

    What hasppened to the horror?  I come for the horror and stay for the pie.

    There is no pie.  And THAT is the horror!

  39. oseaghdha says:

    One word: Red Smokin Hot Chili.

    Ok, that’s four words.

    And Whiskey, five words.

    Burn the little bastards out.

  40. Dana says:

    Mr Block questions my use of an adverb:

    Lovely as an adjective modifying Dr. Frisch’s?

    Get some glasses, please.

    That was meant sarcastically; I also use that adverb as a description of Mrs Sheehan.

  41. Dana says:

    The River Styx wrote:

    lol, yeah, I might consider double-servings. Though I’ll have to do a little bit of calculation to figure out the boiling length for the noodles…

    No, you put the first pack of noodles in the bowl dry, put the flavor packet on top, then the second pack on that, followed by the flavor packet.  (This order helps keep the trash straight, and helps in getting the flavor packets evenly distributed; I do have this down to a science!) Cover with boiling water, then quickly pick up the bowl, carrying it upstairs to the computer room; if you wait any length of time before taking this step, the bowl will be too hot to handle before you make it down the first floor hall, up the seventeen steps to the second floor, then down the second floor hall to the desk by the computer.  Set bowl down immediately, because your fingers are about to burn.

    Go back downstairs, get cold can (not plastic bottle) of Mountain Dewâ„¢ out of the ‘fridge, head back upstairs.  By now the noodles have absorbed enough water to stir.  Sit at computer desk, look out front window to see if the babe across the street is outside again in her Daisy Dukes, then open Internet Explorer and check out Common Sense Political Thought.

    If you follow this procedure diligently, you will have a wonderful Cajun Chicken Ramen Noodles experience!

  42. Dan Collins says:

    My sarcasm goes to eleven.

  43. Carin says:

    I prefer to use Ramen for a salad with Napa cabbage.

  44. triticale says:

    With Maruchan Ramen 10 cents a packet at Jewel, why would anyone buy Top Ramen? I mean, it’s better than Smack Ramen, but still…

    I scroll down and the TW is better, which I already used!

  45. Slartibartfast says:

    5. You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.

  46. “Original Oriental Flavor”

    That stuff’s a rip anyway—it’s imitation, and doesn’t even taste like real Orientals.

  47. DrSteve says:

    Three words:  Tom Kha Gai.

  48. natesnake says:

    That stuff’s a rip anyway—it’s imitation, and doesn’t even taste like real Orientals.

    Margaret Cho Flavored?

    *shivers*

  49. SPQR says:

    Ramen noodles make me miss MRE’s.

  50. A fine scotch says:

    NyQuil:

    The stuffy, sniffly, how the hell did I wake up on my kitchen floor medicine?

    Capital N, small y, Big Fuckin’ Q!

    Feel better, Jeff.  Head colds are teh awful.

  51. Bee Charmer says:

    If only you lived closer, I make you a big pot of

    Chicken Corn Soup. It’ll knock out any cold if

    you eat only it, and drink hot honey tea for 2

    days straight. I believe it’s often referred to

    as PA Dutch Penicillin. <from Lancaster, PA>

    TW: With fresh ground pepper, yes.

  52. McGehee says:

    Margaret Cho Flavored?

    Could be worse, could be George Takei flavored.

  53. DrSteve says:

    I don’t even know where to begin here.  But let me take a few stabs for Most Offensive Element:

    1.  The condescending little pats on the head for the “actually… decent” interview by Reynolds and his wife, both of whom are pretty damn accomplished people.

    2.  The mock surprise that Posner, a man existentially committed to the concept of balancing costs and benefits, would revise the balancing points with the new cost data we’ve seen since 9-11.

    I must have missed some others.

  54. natesnake says:

    George Takei flavored.

    *sounds of vomit hitting concrete*

  55. Defenseman Emeritus says:

    5. You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.

    It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

    TW: Nothing could stop me from playing Zork I on my Texas Instruments 99/4A in the eighties.

  56. Additional Blond Agent says:

    NyQuil is teh awesome. Mix it with Jagermeister for that “ooops, I could die” edge.

    You could.  Mixing alcohol with acetominophen’s been found out to be a bad idea the hard way.  Esepcially if your liver function’s marginal for any reason to start with.

  57. Bravo Romeo Delta says:

    What’s the largest number of MRE’s you’ve ever heard of someone eating during the course of a day?

  58. km says:

    Jeff! Wake up! We bombed Iran!

  59. A fine scotch says:

    BRD-

    I don’t know, but if you got some fat guys, a little dude from some Asian country, a stage, and a camera, you could call it a sport and sell advertising space on a major network.

    TW – There’s a reason I don’t watch much TV other than sports and Discovery HD.

  60. Bee Charmer says:

    If only you lived closer, I’d make you a big pot

    of Chicken Corn Soup. It’ll knock out any cold if

    you eat only it, and drink hot honey tea for 2

    days straight. I believe it’s often referred to

    as PA Dutch Penicillin. <from Lancaster, PA>

    TW: With fresh ground pepper, yes.

  61. Pablo says:

    Jeff! Wake up! We bombed Iran!

    You tease, you!

  62. Dan Collins says:

    Hitchens eviscerates Armitage, Isikoff, cornholes Corn:

    http://www.slate.com/id/2148555

    Then he draws and quarters them.  Bon appetit!

  63. N. O'Brain says:

    Bee Charmer

    Howze about a big pot of Pa Dutch pot pie, beef with the big fat home-made noodles.

    And taters and onions.

    With beets.

    My son MAtt the Marine would sit down and eat four plates of pot pie when my Mom made it.

    I usually stopped at three.

  64. Major John says:

    What’s the largest number of MRE’s you’ve ever heard of someone eating during the course of a day?

    Posted by Bravo Romeo Delta

    And lived?  Four maybe five (that might have been gross exaggeration considering the source).  Nobody ever wanted more…even I wouldn’t, and I likes ‘em!

    That being said, I agree with a fine scotch that you could televise that contest.  How does that Japanese dude eat all that?

  65. Rob B. says:

    How does that Japanese dude eat all that?

    Totally off topic, but when they start eating chili dogs with oinions, instead of “dry” hot dogs, then they can be a champion.

  66. What’s the largest number of MRE’s you’ve ever heard of someone eating during the course of a day?

    That assumes that one ate a complete MRE.  Most of the time we’d mix n’ match with each other to get everything we wanted.  Unless one was really hungry, there would always be some items left over.

    I usually would trade away the stuff like the Fruitcake/maple nut cake and most of the accessory pack other than the chewing gum (which, according to Military Urban Legend, had laxative in it).

    And the Chicken a la King was to be avoided at all costs, especially in the old days when MREs didn’t contain the little Tabasco bottle.

  67. natesnake says:

    And the Chicken a la King was to be avoided at all costs, especially in the old days when MREs didn’t contain the little Tabasco bottle.

    I like the slang of certain MRE courses:

    Girlfriend With Noodles

    Corned Beef Gash

    Spamelete

    Help me out people, I know there’s more than that.

  68. Bee Charmer says:

    Howze about a big pot of Pa Dutch pot pie, beef with the big fat home-made noodles.

    Yeah, O’Brain Pot Pie is my favorite too! I make

    a mean chicken pot pie. It is also good comfort

    food when you’re sick. It’s a pain to explain

    to people who’ve never had it that it’s not a

    PIE! They make something like it down here in NC

    and call it Chicken Pastry…it’s close!

  69. George S. "Butch" Patton (Mrs.) says:

    Four maybe five (that might have been gross exaggeration considering the source).  Nobody ever wanted more…even I wouldn’t, and I likes ‘em!

    That’s like what, 20,000 calories?  Those things run about 4,000 – 4,500 calories per bag, don’t they?

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