Diggs Taylor: “Mustard asserts that it cannot defend its case as premier hot dog condiment without recourse to citing historical and cultural precedent. This plump and delicious Nathan’s hot dog disagrees. Mustard has, since the advent of consumerist manipulation, repeatedly been shown in advertisements for hot dogs. Similarly, mustard is contained in the ‘street’ expression, ‘put some mustard on that hot dog, bitch.’ Consequently, the court finds Defendants’ argument that it cannot defend its case for topping preeminence without recourse to the historical, cultural, and testimonial evidence that this Nathan’s hot dog has seen fit to exclude, disingenuous and without merit.
“Besides. I happen really to dig me some catsup.”
And no mention of onion, relish or kraut….and you call yourself a fat, juicy nathans hot dog. HA
Actually, we’re ok with the Mustard, it’s the Secret Sauce we cannot discuss without revealing, well, the secret.
Yall are just a bunch of hot dogs.
Everyone knows if it is not on the end of a stick and burned over a hickory fire it is not a hot dog.
Yall are just a bunch of city slickers.
BTW, Jeff, I am looking forward to your vent on Hot Air next week. Dont screw it up.
Proof is positive through the spam connection.
In the hot dog cart,
dirty-water SPAM frolics
with old friends, briefly.
First there was Snakes On A Plane
Now there’s Judge On A Roll
Hey Jew boy;
Sounds to me like you are making fun of the coloreds.
”I want a hot dog for my roll.”
“Now if I were a Hebrew National, things would be very different…”
Heinz catsup, that is.
Gotta support the team.
See? You should have gone to law school.
ps. (whispered) the hotdog could use some judicial restraint
Hmmmm.
Personally I’d be rather amused if Bush stole a page out of Lincoln’s book and exiled her to Canada.
It could be worse, she could be a corn-dog, you know with the stick shoved up her ass, covered in all that tasty batter and deep fried. yum…….
“Hey Norm. If you were a hotdog, would you eat yourself? I would. I’d cover myself in mustard and wash me down with an ice cold Budweiser.”
You know, I have never touched my kid in anger in his almost seven years on this planet, but every time he asks for ketchup (read the stupid label), I come this much closer to ending his life. I do love him dearly, but ketcup on a hotdog? Isn’t this forbidden by Yahweh?
Lincoln sent the Copperhead traitors to Jeff Davis, who refused to accept them (the southern general respecting honor, and all). They were subsequently sent to Canada.
natesnake –
If I could eat myself, I’d be in a rubber room saying: “Drop my lunch over there and get out of my room. I’m busy”. Who gives a shit about the mustard?
Battered judge, eh?
Tell us, TODD, when did you quit beating your judge?
TW: I kid because I love…
If?
What do you mean? Is there a time limit? Stopping ain’t living…….
I LOVE this blog!!! The commenters here are, for the most part, total fucking comedians. I have many turds happening in my life, but this is where I go to laugh. You people are hilarious!
Thank you again, Jeff. When my psycho wife is put away once and for all, I will hit the tip jar – BIG.
FYI: Orin Kerr administering a spanking to GiGi, and no doubt a handful of his sockpuppets, here
Gigi keeps trotting out ye olde, “bbbbbbuuuttttt Gonzo conceded it at a press conference,” but Kerr’s having none of it.
Pretty funny to see the hack defender of white supremists having to defend his views against an actual lawyer and law professor.
One of the few disconcerting things to me about the south is people down here putting friggin mayonaise on a hot dog.
I am sorry, but that is just wrong.
Snakes on a plane.
Mayo on a burger.
Why should anyone be surprised at ketchup on a hotdog? This damn world is circlin’ the drain, I tells ya.
They don’t stop at hotdogs either. In Louisiana I ordered a barbecue sandwich. It came with mayonnaise on it.
Here in Georgia if I ask for no mayonnaise, half the time I still get it. And I’m not talking a tiny bit to hold the lettuce to the bread—I’m talking half a jar.
It’s really dangerous to get me started about mayonnaise. I’m Western U.S. born and raised—we don’t “do” mayonnaise.
Salsa, however, is a beverage.
Way to weiner-slap the judge, Jeff!
You know what else they put mayonaise on in Amsterdam? French fries. I’m not kidding. They drown them in that shit…
Vincent Vega
Yea verily, and they said the word.
And what was the word, dear friends?
HOT DOG!
Yes, a mighty Hot Dog is our Lord.
I’m not talking about hate
I’m talking about eight –
Dinner at eight!
LET’S EAT!
Come on, haven’t you had mayo on tater tots? And fry sauce? Half mayo, half ketchup.
Or maybe those are peculiar to Utah…
Said some says it takes hot water, baby, can’t you see,
but your heat, baby’s, plenty warm enough for me
Baby, please warm my wiener, oh, warm my wiener,
won’t you just warm my wiener, ‘cause he really don’t feel right cold.
-Bo Carter
(Armenter “Bo” Chatmon)
recording of January 19 1935
Back to Commie Martyrs for you, mojo.
I don’t even put ketchup on tater tots. Rarely on french fries. Sometimes barbecue sauce on my fries. Or the honey mustard sauce that comes with chicken fingers.
Arctic Circle, right? No, they’re not peculiar to Utah—there’s even at least one in California.
Dude, in Utah, fry sauce is a sacrament.
BECAUSE OF THE CONDIMENTS !!!
– I thouroughly, and rightiously condemn, all of these condiment comments. Everyone with a working brain cell knows Mustard is the KING OF BEERS.
– …and as I’m popping a cold one, and putting the Polish dogs on the barb, I condemn this post as well… Now for some quality kicking-it time. This condemnation stuff is hard work.
(Digg would have been better off to rule on Dogs)
TW: I forgets me points, but there’s a dog in there somewhere.
How can you people go around makin dog jokes when the 22nd is coming up?
Fast!Rapidly!PORKERS!
tw: Tehran, we have a problem.
“Salsa, however, is a beverage.”
I have a nice 2006 Pace picante at home I will be enjoying. That shits made in New York City!! NEW YORK CITY!!!!…….get a glass
Jeeez Six….I didn’t see any “why does a hot dog lick its buns” jokes….Did I miss something again?
– “…Halvelchek takes a pass from Russell….works the ball upcourt, yoyoing up and down, he stops, fake pumps and pops, TOO LATE!…. Ahh.. I tell you folks… he put Jerry West in the popcorn cooker that time….the mustard came off the hotdog….nothing but net…”
Fry sauce is the state condiment in Utah. At least in Utah Valley
McGehee: Mayo on barbecue is a real southern thing. For instance, a barbecued pulled pork sandwich is often served with creamy cole slaw on top. It is surprisingly wonderful. It works.
In Lousianna, po-boy sandwiches come ‘dressed’( lettuce, tomato, mayo) or ‘undressed’ (plain). An oyster po-boy–dressed–is a wonderful thing, indeed. In fact, I could use one o’ dem right now.
gonna do the tube steak boogie
Well, they don’t do it here in Cow-Eater County. Which, I’m thinking when Gabriel blows his trump, this place might be spared the worst of the brimstone.
As a boy, I was kidnapped(by my parents) and forced to live in Alberta(Canada!) for eight years of my life.
The only worthwhile thing I came away with was…brown gravy on french fries is delicious.
Oh, and an apprieciation for beer.
I would just like to add, even in the ‘70s, anti-Americanism was rampent in the “great” white north. I once had to justify being proud to be American to my 5th grade teacher.
I would highly recommend the move for any Proggs that may be reading this.
I am liking the Progg thing, but I think the full form should be Progg-luddite.
ugh, everyone knows you put white gravy on fries.
Maggie, I hear what you’re saying, but it ain’t that way in Canuckistan. They’ve got this whole dish, poutine, that the Quebeckers made up, that is nothing but fries, brown gravy, and cubed white cheese.
Seriously.
And now it’s popular enough that it’s sold all over the country in fast-food joints.
These people don’t know what cream (white) gravy is. It’s a terrible shame.
For the record, I like ketchup with my hot dog, but only good German-style mustard with sausage. It all depends on the context.
TW: woman. Yes I am.
I had poutine once, in Grande Prairie.
A little Absorbinme Jr. cleared it right up.
I was a cock-teaser at Roosterama.
No, really. I used to enrage the Bantams before the big bout.
SB: numbers
1,3,5 and 7
i just know this is related somehow….
TW: english. okay, quit it Jeff.
oh, and Meg, cheeses would probably make it work for me. but, no cream gravy? *sob* you have my sympathy.
If you ingest poutine, do not induce vomiting. Please call your doctor or the local poison control service.
P.S. I [heart] engrish.com!
I don’t want to ruffle any feathers here, but mustard is what you put on a hot dog, and for fries its melted chedder cheese. Although for the fries gravy and ketchup are acceptable, unless you are in boardwalk country, in which case it’s vinegar. I hear tell they like vinegar on fries up in Canuckistan as well, which is odd since it’s too damn cold up there for boardwalks.
Fries are surprisingly good with A-1 sauce, especially accompanying an already flavored steak (e.g. blackened, whiskey-peppered, mushroom-topped).
Well, I never heard of anyone putting vinegar on french fries, but salt&vinegar potatoe chips are the bomb!
I would never had written that, except for the whole Diggs-Taylor putting a kabosh on the NSA program thing…
TW:In the future, I will advoid using the word bomb.
Germans do it with mayonnaise. Eat pomme frites, that is.
It’s better than it sounds.
Feh. You can tell that the judge’s ruling is ridiculous by her assertion that ketchup belongs on a hot dog. Ketchup is okay as a dipping sauce on the side for french fries and grilled cheese sandwiches, but it should never be squirted over the fries. Chili (without beans, in most cases) and melted cheese are fantastic toppings for fries.
And for hot dogs, for that matter. People who don’t like chili-cheese dogs ought to be subject to warrantless wiretaps, no matter what “Gleen” says. He probably likes “catsup” on his dogs anyway.
Today’s (Saturday, August 19) New York Times has a front page story headlined, “Many Experts Fault Reasonong of Judge in Surveillance Ruling.”
A one sentence summary states: “Legal experts said the opinion overlooked important precedents and substituted passion for analysis.”
Apparently the nitwits who write their editorials no virtually NOTHING about the law.
Make that “know.”
No redirecting this thread to serious purposes will be tolerated. Back to condiments.
I saw a TV show in Japan where the hostess put mayonnaise in Ramen, and on ice cream. I will try most things, but that is a threat to my soul, not just my life.
Now wasabi and soy sauce goes with beef as well as fish. Easy on the wasabi. An overdose of that stuff results in stabbing pain right up the sinuses to your brain.
Ketchup on grilled cheese sandwiches!!
Savage.
If it is thought to be neccessary to add to a grilled cheese sandwich, I suggest spreading a little jam. Boysenberry is my personal choice, but any berry based jelly will do.
Mom always put sweet pickle relish on our toasted cheese sandwiches, for no known reason. This is not a habit I carried to adulthood.
And as far as ketchup on hot dogs is concerned, I feel the same way about it as I feel about other people’s sex lives; you can do anything you want to a consenting wiener, just don’t make me watch.
TW: “plane”. As in “Snakes on this melonfarmin’ plane? I said there were SNACKS on this melonfarmin’ plane! Cancel red alert!”
Yes., Be very careful.
I once had a tad too much wasabi and my left eyeball popped out of it’s socket. Needless to say, I was quite embarrassed.
There’s a dish the Mexican hand-cart dealers sell here in Chicago called elotes.
Actually, it’s not served in a dish but in a styrofoam cup, but whatever. It consists of whole-kernal corn cut ffresh rom the cob, margarine, miracle whip, grated cheese and cayenne pepper. A plastic spoon comes with it.
I usually order mine without the margarine, miracle whip, grated cheese and cayenne pepper. It’s terrific.
(Seriously, it tastes just about as you would imaging. But their tamales in corn husks are outstanding.)
I once had a local dish in St. Croix (USVI)that was called roti It was Three Kings Day and, after dancing all day, I was very hungry when the black beauty started to wear off.
I approached a vendor who was selling these sandwich type things that looked pretty good.
It turns out that roti is a whole chiken – bones and all, cut into little pieces and randomly spooned out into a soft tortilla. I was just lucky enough to get mostly neck in my roti. I doubt that there is any condiment that would have even made me think about taking the second bite.
What belongs on a hot dog:
A poppy seed bun, topped with mustard, onion, sweet pickle relish in fluorescent green, a dill pickle spear, tomato slices or wedges, cucumber slices or wedges, sport peppers and a dash of celery salt  but no ketchup.
It’s either those things or a loin cloth.
I could really go for a Whoopercheesie right now.
Mayo?
Sorry, but tangy Miracle Whip is my white dressing of choice – though I actually have made mayonaise from scratch – make a decent white sauce too.
Here in Detroit, the two companies that make prepared horseradish are owned by Litvaks, so the chraine is nice and sharp. New York Jews unfortunately prefer something that’s more like sweetened beets with a touch of horseradish, and then they make an abomination they call “tiger sauce” which is sweetened beet horseradish mixed with mayo. They then put it on gefilte fish.
Feh!
Gefilte fish should be eaten with horseradish so sharp it brings tears.
Mayo is so goyish
A proper hot dog, like from Isaac Gellis’, has not only ketchup and mustard, but also diced tomato and sauerkraut.