Just for the sake of argument, say someone was planning on doing an internet tv show that featured man-on-the-street -type interviews. Anything special you’d like to see? In this hypothetical scenario?
Would the calculus change if the hypothetical host was willing to put on hypothetical disguises?
Discuss.
Meantime, I have to go out and find a hypothetical replacement battery for my GL-1.
We’d actually prefer the ‘dillo on the street interviews.
TW: Not that it’s requiredor anything
Amish?
I think it’d be hard to go wrong with the classic fake glasses/nose/mustache combo.
Wearing a spinning bowtie might be going a little bit overboard, though.
Although Hannity is a goody two shoes who makes me squirm, have you ever heard his “man on the street” interviews? It’s hilarious and downroght scary.
But, hey Jeff, go fdor it. This is the most amusing (not to mention amazing) blog on the web. “Man on the street” could only increase the laugh factor.
HOOTERS!!!
…and perhaps a human interest bit with a wheelchair bound yet valiant child or some such. maybe a puppy and a glaring example of Bush’s hatred for cute fuzzy crippled things would be nice. And if time allows…
MORE HOOTERS!!!
I say put Allah in a burka, and let him loose.
Ask a question two times…with and without a fake mustache and see if the person you are hypothetically interviewing thinks you are two different people.
Alcoholic clowns are always funny. Maybe one with a tiny monkey on his shoulder, doing backflips.
Dress like Sid Vicious and speak like Tom Brokaw?
Not a disguise, but certainly a Billy Jack hat.
And both Hannity and Leno ask about current events, so I would like questions about semiotics.
“Anything special you’d like to see? “
Girls Gone Wild has the market niche already.
I’d like to see the ‘dillo as well, especially if he can bring along one of his buxom girl friends in a tube top, or a sheet t-shirt, maybe dance a jig with her, y’know?
Short of that, how about disguising yourself as Ward Churchill, and seeing how far you get?
I’d suggest going as Andy Sullivan, but I have to wonder that maybe beagles and ‘dillos don’t get along.
Place chairs and cameras on the median of a very busy thorofare near a traffic light. Time it so your questions can be clearly heard during the red light but the respondents answer is always drowned out when the green-lighted traffic roars by.
Excuse me that should be sheer t-shirt.
TW: What was I thinking? The previous TW was word, which was likely a strong hint.
What is the man doing on the street?
Alcoholic clowns are always funny.
Thanks for the compliment. But I am old, and do not need the praise…
A blind paste eating/tasting contest.
Oh, and launching things with catapults. Like armadillos. Or an armadillo tossing contest. You know, intellectual stuff like that.
I believe that such a hypothetical interviewer might don a devil costume and interview people about violent incidents at the Orange Julius.
I’m with Pablo on the hooters.
Disguise? How about a sock-puppet?
MOS pieces are rarely good, unless your intent is to show how stupid people are. (Leno does this very well.) They tend to get self-conscious in front of cameras, or nervous, or verbally stumble. If you can manage to get a small crowd to gather and do an impromptu debate on a subject, now that might be interesting.
Disguises are fine, but I’d prefer a ‘dillo puppet, like Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.
MOS-related, I think you’d do better going to moonbat events, or hanging ouside the local chapter of the ACLU, and getting comments from them. Target your interviewees, don’t just pick them randomly.
I guess it’s important to understand what kind of show your hypothetical host is going for. Humorous? Serious? Political satire? Highbrow? Lowbrow?
Jeff,
There will be more creative ideas from your mind and a bunch more from this thread but here’s my single-item wishlist.
Whoever you point that camera at, for whatever reason, always ask stock question(s).
Like:
Who said, “If Saddam rejects peace and we have to use force, our purpose is clear. We want to seriously diminish the threat posed by Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction program.”
Keep rolling when you reveal –
President Bill Clinton, Feb. 17, 1998
Any question(s) which deflate what has been wrought by the mythbuilders wrt lots of things over recent years would fit here.
My thought is to edit these together at some point as a separate presentation.
Whatever man-on-the-street -type interviews you do with the camera, toss a question or more like this at the person.
Far too tedious to just go around asking the same questions all day long anyway. Plus if the question is just kinda tossed off after a more whimsical interview I’d think candor would flow more freely – better than the guarded and stiff reaction from being “interrogated”.
You could take a page from The Man Show and ask people to sign a petition to end suffrage for progressives.
Check bhphotovideo.com for replacement batteries. Good prices, great service, and they have third-party manufactured batteries that are excellent.
A friend of mine that works in the radio bidniz tells me that MOS interviews are now known as AOA (any old a$$hole).
Here’s my question suggestion:
A federal District Judge recently imposed an injunction, halting the anti-terrorist monitoring program, decidint that it violats the 4th and 1st amendment.
What the the 4th amendment to the US constitution protect the US citizens from?
And if they get that right:
How does that affect foreign terrorist communications?
Direct, simple, obvious interpretation problems/questions. And a second question attached to current events but ties in semiotically to the earlier one. Don’t make people feel dumb or attacked, but expose obvious logical issues with commonly held opinions.
How about nekkid-cheerleader-on-the-street interviews?
TW: college. Well, yeah.
’Dillo suit? Possibly with Hooters.
Might be kinda hard to find onshort notice, though. Unless there’s a show named “‘Dillo on a Hot Tin Roof” playing in town or something.
SB: picture
oh, definitely
Why did the man cross the street? Because BushieMcHitlerburton made him so his friends could make a profit.
The words “ hypothetical host” can only mean one person..Jeraldo Rivera/aka jerry rivers.Hes allready got the bow tie and funny mustache
How about donning a beard, and a turban with a round, black(faux) bomb in it, and asking menacingly; “So, do you think mohommaud jokes are funny?”…while flicking a lighter.
It Geraldo, with a “G”…..bitch!
And my moustache is meaner, and sexier, than that fool Bolton’s is. His is named Regis, and mine is….Chad.
Dress like Travolta in Saturday Night Fever, just ‘cause it’s cool. Black eye optional.
You could always see how far the ‘dillo would travel, using a trebuchet.
Watermelons would be good, too.
tw: death. That’s just eerie.
Ask them which is worse: war or tyrrany.
Anyone who answers the former has just outed him/herself as a moonbat.
TW: While using the usual props, of course.
Screw the ‘Man on the Street’ Interview schtick. That’s soooooooooooo last millenium.
Editing is where the future lies. Editing.
If you’re interested in making money and/or a name for yourself, you should consider the following:
‘Everyday Life meets NFL Films’
2-3 minute segments that make ordinary activities heroic: people walking out of Piggly-Wiggly, struggling to get their purchases in the hatchback, and the triumph of returning shopping carts to the carrel
World Series of Food Court
Take some buddies to the mall, get a table at the food court, and bring some poker chips. Tape yourselves betting on which food stand a passer-by will go and purchase their lunch. It’d be a fascinating commentary on race, class, local area food courts, and the notion of ‘The Other’. You can incorporate some Favreusque ‘Dinner for Five’ banter if you’d like
If you’d like to go more highbrow project-oriented you could revert to your academic chops and record this:
Ulysses – as read by Random People Encountered on the Street
Take that copy of Ulysses you never got around to actually reading and hand it to people on the street and ask them to read a paragraph or so. Include their reactions as they struggle through the text.
Edit the clips together, make a film, and *BANG* you’ve got yourself a Macarthur Genius Grant, a teaching fellowship in Performance Art at the university of your choice, a nice write up in Utne Reader. Not to mention an interview with Terry Gross on “Fresh Air”.
.
Are you going to ask for hypothetical “titles” for a hypothetical “show”, “hypothetically”?
Snakes on a Goldstein? Anyone?
<i>Cock Talk<i>?
Nobody ever went broke running footage of cute girls with nice breasts.
I’m just saying.
Bumperstickerist–I am an English teacher who is working on her Ph.D. in English lit, and I haven’t mangaged Ulysses. I’m convinced it’s all a big joke, sort of like literary theory.
And I have comps to study for and a dissertation proposal to draft…
Discusss anything you like, but try to use words the rest of us know. It’ll be more interesting than half the shit on the net. My only reqest is that you make sure you’re wearing those button-fly levis and are commando underneath. WE ALL want to see what that Safeway checker was checkin’.
TW: ahead Yeah, I guess that’s what she was checkin’.
Why did the pervert cross the street? ‘Cause he couldn’t get his dick out of the chicken….
TW: length. You,ve got to be kidding.
OMG! Have you been doing my wife?
Isn’t it? I thought that was the whole point of “Ulysses”, and even more so of “Finnegans Rainbow” . . .
Walker Percy has a great parody in “Lost in the Cosmos” of a Phil Donahue show where a Confederate officer, a being from outer space appearing as a human, and (IIRC) a knight from the Crusades are “accidentally” brought in as his guests. They give their reactions to modern society, while Phil thinks they’re actors someone’s sent him, and the audience thinks it’s all a joke . . . but it’s not. It was a great way to satirize modern mores, and Percy got Donahue’s tics just right – remember how he used to tap his forehead with his huuuuuge microphone while grimacing and collecting his thoughts?
TW: men. And hooters. What’s the deal? No, don’t answer that.
Girls in skimpy bikinis interviewing guys outside bars and then hitting them in the nuts.
Don a burka, speak in a very masculine voice asking people how they feel about worldwide sexual apartheid. Of course you risk having your head hacked off.
How about a dolce&gabbana adorned anarchist, scarf and all, asking people if they knew Bush was really Hitler?
tw: sound of mind. Really.
Let them answer questions regarding 2nd Empire Assyria’s relations with her neighbors. Like the Kassites undercutting prices on limestone in order to gain a foothold into the Ugarite market.
Anything with transvestites, or transexual cross-dressers, or maybe just some midget ju-jitsu, or Jewish American Princess sit-com laugh track auditions.
Not enough Jim Beam yet.
Can armadillos wear spiky high-heels?
I second the vote for nekkid-cheerleader-on-the-street interviews.
TW: sockpuppet—Man, that’s just cold.
– Hoo boy…Man that is just wrong….
– Jeff, maybe you could work the river dancing midget hookers in there somewhere… Wet T shirts…. Do a Cal Worthington used Katushya rocket segment, with the ‘dillo as your dog “spot”….
TW: Yah gotta believe.
Anything would be good as long as the deadbeat neighbor is involved.
JP
Go for the Clockwork Orange look, but maybe not Alex, but as F. Alexander who is really just a failed kOS.
OK, we can fix it in post—the Katushya thing can be animated, with a chorus line of ‘dillo can-can kickers keyed over the…well, maybe a chorus of Rhine maidens keyed over the Katushya…an’ then the …shit, pass the Beam, it’s not empty yet, is it?
Torture. Start every MOS interview with some light torture: waterboarding and maybe a naked pyramid or two. Proggs love that stuff. You’ve already got the neo-con audience, right? We’ll watch anything you do. Got any panties for headgear?
You’ll get much better answers, in many cases, from the ACLU. Or gays. Or gay ACLU. Gay ACLU Islamofacists! Best answers! Married gay ACLU Islamofascists!!!
Important tip. Do not attach the high voltage electrodes to the MOS’s tongue and genitals until the very end of the interview. Unless you’re just going for laughs.
tw: That’s quality Foxâ„¢ television.
MOS is just soooo yesterday.
I’m thinking if you can swing it a quick US government quiz of people waiting in line at 1) Starbucks and 2) Wal-mart. It would really be interesting to see which group knows this stuff better.
TW: evidence. OK, this thing is just creepy accurate.
WAIT—I kinda like the Clockwork Orange look thingee. We get some fem guy with outrageous eye shadow to lick a greenware armadillo just before it’s fired into a ceramic masterpiece artwork. That’s kind of a symbolic asexuality thing. Like Klingon death.
Wait…the wife just opened a bottle of Yellow Tail Merlot and I am now experiencing a consciousness crisis. Like maybe I shouldn’t be…
and, iirc, they’re orthodox jooooooos! though i may be confusing them with some other vendor, it’s been a few years since i had to deal with them on a regular basis.
The ones that still have their feet can…
I would like to see some fake man on the street interviews with lots of your characters. Like pictures of Bolton with a voiceover about Regis, in breathless PBS Announcer Man voice?
While reading these comments I had a vision:
Wearing an Uncle Sam costume, towing a scaled-down but obviously Trojan Horse, asking the MOS/WOS (somewhere between KY and ND) for their thoughts.
I’ve always thought I’d have a little faith in poll numbers if any of them had ever asked for my opinion. Pretty sure that’s why we’re the oh-so-scary “Silent Majority.”
TW: can’t stay away
if you don’t do the ‘dillo, then put a different spin on mercer’s “talking to americans”. much as he is a dickwad..it was good
How about an Ionesco-type segment, where you get a victim to agree to answer just one question, and them verbally fumble around interminably without being able to articulate your question, and see how low they put up with it?
A breathless PBS announcer?
I’d prefer a breastless PBS announcer, reciting a soliloquy from Hamlet.
Maybe with Glenn Close as Queen Gertrude in the King’s bedroom with Bolton’s moustache.
Kelly – as big as Rick Mercer thinks he is in his own mind—trust me, very few in the U.S. have ever heard of him. Unless they’ve shown him on Comedy Central or something (doubt it).
Ooooh, ooooh, he’s got his own show on the CBC! Wow-wee.
I mean, PW’ers in the U.S., raise your hands – how many of you have heard of Rick Mercer? And don’t need us to explain who he is?
That segment was funny though. See, it’s what I always tell Canadians about most Americans’ attitude towards Canada: “It’s a benign neglect, but the emphasis is on the benign, not the neglect. We just have so much else on our plate!”
I’m afraid “hypothetical host” has already been done.
There was this dude who was wearing the “Chip Douglass First Date” mock turtle and jacket combo. He also had this recently tanned pelt on his head to cover the spot where hair may have resided at one time. He interviewed this guy named Juan Cole whose real hair looked like it could fool an ODOT guy into scraping it off with a shovel and throwing it into the lime pit.
Pelt-head would nod creepily as he listened to the ambien-like answers from Cap’n Scraggle.
Other than that, it really worked.
Something’s up.
The Breitbart “man on the street” says Reuters is reporting Israeli jet fire on eastern Lebanon.
Any other links?
Did you know that it is possible to ‘tip’ armadillos? Truth.
(BTW, Jeff, I came here looking for the trolls that you baited (beautifully) over at TBogg’s. Where are the vermin? Am I too late? Did I miss them?)
‘Fraid so. They were delicious with mustard.
Half want scantily clad/unclad females. The other half want stuff that I can’t understand. So for the sake of clarity and assurance the message gets understood, I have to go with nekkid wimmin.
sign a petition to stop the seal slaughter in tranna or what do you think about the russians attacking saskatchewan? genuine saskatchewan sealskin..ignorance is bliss non?
Yes Patty Ann, it is possible to tip armadillos. But only if they provide quality service in a timely manner.
Prime Minister Jean Poutine? And Canada getting its first “woody”?
TW: city. I’ll take Moose Jaw for C$500, Alex . . .
I don’t know, “No Blood for Limestone” being chanted by a bunch of long-haired Hittites doesn’t quite….work.
Since Jeff is going to have to follow Mary Katharine Ham, the wimmin better be seriously hot and scantily clad, or he’s done for.
That TW is creepy!
I don’t want to see any naked femaales over the agwe of twenty five. It just too damn depressing to be reminded of how old I am.
TW: They called the wind Mariah.
Hey, I’ve got that song. And most of the rest of what the Kingston Trio wrote.
We could debate whether we like the Dave Guard Trio, or the John Stewart Trio better. Or go to bed.
TW: Here, bed won.
Chicken suit, gorilla head.
All these nekkid wimmens requests
Pffftt
Your demographic is to appeal to the security moms…
some nice nekkid men, please … not some steriod-induced muscle caraciture stuff … but nicely posed swimmer/diver types
TW: towel, pool boy? may I have another towel?
and rimless glasses.
Please stop. It’s way late where I live, and this is just too funny for a bedtime story.
BumperStickerist sez:
I’m seeing a comeback opportunity for Terry Tate.
With the microphone in a large, floppy, dildo shaken menacingly at the victims, err, interviewees.
Oh, won’t somebody please think of the nekkid cheerleaders!?
…excuse me, what were we talking about again?
Meg Q – I’ve heard of Rick Mercer. But, then again, I live in Michigan.
Well, Jeff…did you get the answers you were hoping for? Another thought…..
One beef I have with our administration is its inability to “sell” its message about fighting terrorism. One tool I would use is reverse propaganda, and lots of satire, against the enemy; make them look life buffoons. Start doing a show (length not specific) taking footage and recutting it to fit a narrative you create, intercut it with footage you create (i.e., when Zawahiri pronounces something about killing Americans….”Allah willing”, cut to you in some get-up as Allah, saying something to shoot him down), or creating your own material in an effort to show the real face of our enemy, but in a way that is palatable to a large audience.
Your commenters can offer story ideas, and maybe even help edit or write material. Sort of like Jihad Watch-meets-Daily Show-meets-SNL. Call it “Agitpimp”.
Amed the above to say…Jihad Watch-meets-Daily Show-meets-SNL-meets-The Man Show….you can transition with interstitials of Islamic women bouncing on trampolines in burkas (and little else), giggling like schoolgirls, or beefcake (gotta have something for the ladies) playing hot potato with a missile shell.
Green helmets get high marks.
TW: apparently
Ok.. this will give my age away big time, but my favorite rendition of the man-on-the-street was Steve Allen in segments with Louis Nye, Don Knotts, Bill Dana et al.
The interviewer was as funny if not funnier than the interviewee. So I guess I’m looking for funny rather than world-peace, beauty pagent stuff. We get enough of that on the front page.
I say dress up like a pirate and collaborate with Steve H. over at Hog on Ice…
I’d very much like to see Triumph the Insult Comic Dog interview Glenn Greenwald. Funny, no?
Very funny. Or, find an Andrew Sullivan lookalike, and have him stoned by mock Islamsists against the wall of a dusty courtyard, as the Sully lookalike spouts passages from his blog about neocons, prisoner torture, etc. etc.