Ever lift up a flaking scab and find that smooth, mother-of-pearl patch just beneath? Hard not to think of rebirth and renewal when you see that shiny expanse of healing.
—Which, incidentally, tastes just like chicken.
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And then there’s that last, one square millimeter of unhealed boo-boo, with scab-roots reaching down to the bone, which bleeds all effin’ afternoon once you stupidly yank it off.
Turing = does, as in Reminds me of the Dems shortsighted cut-and-run proposals in Iraq, that does.
Scabs taste like chicken?
TW:basis
I don’t want to know the basis for that statement.
mmmmmmmmmmmm….it’s scabalicious!
Hello to anyone stopping by.
I hope to be back to regular posting by mid week. In the meantime, please make yourself at home.
Just stay the hell out of my liquor cabinet.
I dunno, Jeff. Look at the obvious transformative powers that Tequila has on some people. I mean, after all, how often do you get to have an Internet verb named after you? Don’t you think you’re being a little selfish by not sharing?
Only through the healing powers of alcohol will I be freed!!!! Or is that “Frisched”?
Well, I only drink Bourbon for the
buzz, warm feeling, high, dont give a shit feeling,medicinal effects.Do scabs taste like buggers?
damn! doesn’t my(not so generous) donation count for anything!? oh well, i prefer beer anyway.
Does this mean I have to put the tequila back? If so, you’ll have to wait an hour or so.
Regards,
Ric
tw: for the moment I have none available.
That’s *boogers* dammit!! Buggers are, well, they’re, unh, ahhhhhhh, didn’t used to be so highly respected.
I gather that we are free to ransack the sofa cushions.
Bourbon has never been proven to enhance spelling abilities either.
Mmmmmm. Tequila soaked scabs!!!!!!!!!!!
Scab removal teaches patience.
That would seem to indicate a relatively quick resolution to all this mess (I hope).
A wise man once said everything – everything – tastes more or less like chicken.
That’s okay, Jeff. I’m packing my own bottle of Maker’s Mark, so it’ll work out in the end.
TW: too Too much of a good thing is a great thing!
Does anyone else think Jeff’s Zen post is a coded message as to how things are playing out, or is it just me?
TW: analysis. Hmmmm…..
Shhhhh! Be vewy, vewy qwiet!
SB: freedom
ain’t free
Fortunately, you failed to mention anything about raiding the beer fridge… which is good, because I hear there’s a 12-pack of Pacifico which just isn’t going to drink itself…
Not to worry, Jeff
I brought the jello shots
what all did the rest of you bring?
So…if scabs taste like chicken…does that mean that I’m enjoying the wonderful flavor of Scab when I go to KFC? They are both extra crispy, aren’t they? Hmmm…
UUU hv a lkiquor cabinaet}% w Ho noo…
Hey, I brought Cody and Kiva with me. Anybody for some Korean BBQ?
(Disclaimer: This is not a threat against any living being, whether human or canine.)
But what does chicken taste like?
Hi everyone! Im new to posting here, but Ive read alot. Just wanted to say that this thread is great for when you have drank one drink too many..and you know whats next.
Your liquor is safe from me, however, your oatmeal will probably be rather subdued upon your return.
you have drank one drink too many
What the hell does that mean?
Everything else, of course. More or less, anyhow.
How about that sack of stuff in the very back, which makes me hear talking oatmeal?
Garrett, Cody’s crossed over the rainbow bridge.
Whether it was over a magical creek of tangy, delicious barbecue sauce, I can’t say.
Ace and Jeff disappear at the same time—is there something we should know?
Personally, I think healing tastes more like a large, thick chocolate malt topped with 3 inches of genuine whipped cream, but I guess it takes all kinds. And no cherry. Maraschino cherries are just icky.
Until we can break out celebratory Veuve, I’ll settle for a decent California Pinot Noir, several bottles of which I happen to have on hand. Help yourself.
A wise man once said everything – everything – tastes more or less like chicken.
Except Tyson chicken. Which tastes like rubber injected with a 10% solution to maintain—well, I’m not clear on what that liquid is supposed to maintain. Whiteness, perhaps. Tobacco spittle sipped from the bottom of a previously consumed can of Busch Light tastes more like chicken. But without the texture, admittedly.
If everything tastes like chicken,and chicken tastes like scabs… nevermind, I forgot.
Well, if Jeff is coming back in 3-4 days, that would put him on the menu schedule.
Thursday: tuna melt(down)
Friday: fishfry
I think it means Ditto is under the impression it is possible to have too much to drink.
Poor guy.
Wait, wait, wait..Im thinking of scabs and the smell of black licorice..thats all.
And I am not a man. Sorry if that post sounded stupid!
Moo touch dro tink? Izzat poz’ble? You bazt’r’ds. I’m alw’z the lazt to know…
Poodle puppies.
Poodles! Them’s good eating!
If the liquor cabinet is out, any chance I could borrow the armadillo? I’ve this pair of boots in need of repair.
Then you ought to try the new Poodles ‘N Noodles, The Seoul Treat.
You’ve got a closet full of lesbians?
Aaahhsome!
Eating scabs can be a Proustian experience for me.
Sometimes I remember the first one I ever ate and how I got it. Then my mind travels back to that moment when I fell off the swing. And to the snotty little bastard who pushed me off it, and what I did to him in revenge. (Or, more probably, what I thought about doing to him, since I was seldom a violent child in practice, only in theory.)
And the wiseman who said everything tastes like chicken probably smoked too much, drank too much rough liquor, and ate too much spicy food. Not that there is anything wrong with that. A sense of taste, (and smell), is overrated.
TW You’ve never lived until you’ve eaten scab.
Hmm…. I think I’ll blend up a nice scab-o-rita for lunch. Got salt?
You cannibals! You can’t eat people just because they don’t belong to the union.
Jesus, picking scabs is one thing. But eating someone just because they crossed a picket line?
Damn you Stogie. Damn you to hell!!
Denny,
What goes good with a scaborita? Don’t say chicken.
Besides, Union Members cost more by the pound….
Who’s interested in the liquor cabinet? I’m helping myself to the red pills found in the sofa cushions. But if that armadillo starts humping my leg, I might need a shot of tequila.
Am armodilla is just a opossum on the half shell. A little greasy but not bad if you get to them with in a couple of hours after they were run over.
Just eat around the tire track , Honey.
Announcer person: “…and goodmorning…Welcome to “Hand Talk – Live”…I’m your host, Mr McGehee Efjt, and today we’re broadcasting from El Pacifico Le Stars Mall in beautiful downtown Burbank….Todays guest is the author of the latest #1 best seller “Sockpuppets for dummies” – teaching your socks to behave… Lets welcome Mr Limewald Sockperson….”
Limewald: Good morning to you Sir…
Efjt: Hmmm…Excuse me…Before we get started did you know one of your eyebrows is stuck on your ear?
Limewald: ….Ummm… well ok…so… people share eyebrows all the time…
Efjt: ….Ok…right… Also If I might ask…. why the banjo?
Limewald: …Oh, its my brothers….he loans it to me….. Look, could we get to my new book, because I have a lot of things I think your listeners would be interested in concerning the four pillars of sockpuppetry and….
Efjt: …Of course….of course…the eyebrow thing just sort of put me off for a moment…. anyway…Besides writing best selling “how-to” books I understand you also have a top law practice where you specialize in multiple personality suits….
Limewald: …Well yes…but actually my newest interest is “hand modeling”, which I’ve been told, I’m pretty good at…
Efjt: ……
Limewald: What?
Efjt: heh….it’s just that screwy eyebrow…really freeks me out…. nevermind… Did you know that you’re a dead ringer for Mr. Glenn Greenwald… the resemblance is uncanny… Well except for the eyebrows and banjo….
Limewald: …Greenwald…Greenwald… Oh…yes… Mr. Greenwald…I understand from what I’ve heard that he’s a very brilliant writer, top flight lawyer, but of course I don’t know him personally. As far as the resemblance, that’s just a coincidence…
Efjt: …You know, come to think of it, you look just like the guy I had on last week… Mr. Wilson if I remember right….and there was another guy….but he had a mustache….but still…
Limewald: …Alright. That’s it. I came on your show to talk about my new book, not to be insulted. Good day to you Sir!.
Efjt: ….Yeh…well…you guys should all get together sometime…. would be interesting…b-bye….good luck with the book…
…Next up the – delightful Ann Coulter to talk about her new book “How to cockslap a Liberal if you must” after this short station break….
TW: ….Guys…Are you tired of being caught out in public without your cock ring kit… yes…I know….can be a real enbarrassment… well Porta-tweezers corporation has really good news….
Just to clear up any misunderstanding on anyone’s part, let me be clear.
I would never touch a hair on the head of any of those courageous men and women who would brave the vicious barbs of the lazy, cowardly, commie rabble to keep the wheels of commerce and industry turning.
The strikers are a different matter. (And they do taste like chicken).
TW Whatever happened to Jeff’s liquor cabinet
I love “Hand Talk Live.” It’s the most brilliant show on television. And that host is just such a damn hunk, I’d almost switch teams to be with him.
Rrrrrowr!
Jeff, I don’t know if it’ll make you feel better, but you’re not alone in having a crazy person posting signed threats to you online.
LINK
Carin,
If the ambulatory road kill gets within 3 feet of you you’ll need a shot of penicillin more than a shot of Tequila.
I’m told that boogers taste like venison, only gamier.
liquor cabinet…hmm. Hey, these are all generic dive bar well brands!
Meh.
Buuuut…ya gonna finish that burrito?
TW: be sure to always comment in the first person, y’all!
Loafing …. does the perp have an eyebrow stuck to his ear, and carry a banjo?
Before our very eyes he morphs into an armchair scabhawk. Begin distancing in 3… 2…
Thanks folks. I just know tomorrow when I post the specials, there’s gonna be scabcakes on them. With remoulade, no less.
TW: still. As in “I’m still wondering what the hell any of this has to do with chicken?”
That was a very nice Casa Noble Anejo tequila there Jeff…. I thought I’d drink it as my patriotic duty… you know, send those heathen illegal immigrant bastards back to Mexico by giving ‘em honest work making you more tequila.
Now that I’m shit faced I think I’ll take a page outta deb’s book and go over to her blog and barf all over myself even if I have to stick a finger down my throat.
tw: Blue… blue as in agave and in the view of the sky from where I seem to have fallen
Even Kathy Berberian knows there one remoulade she can’t sing.
TW: Problems. Not mine.
That depends, Marine. Do boogers taste like chicken?
It’s easier to spell than Whisky RM.
Although I’m not running for President, I’d like to thank the Tribune Company for only running presidential looking photos of me.
(…)
Did I mention I wasn’t running for president?
WTF is TW?
Well I think the Lime flavored Maddog in the fridge is pretty tacky. (But I’m going to drink it anyway)
RTFM PDQ.
I kid. “Turing Word.” It’s the word that appears as a graphic near the comment box that you have to type to prove you’re not a spambot in order to post.
That would explain why I couldn’t figure out where the words were coming from…I thought maybe it was from a previous post or from the blog entry but it didn’t track.
I propose we name the scab Ellen.
The name just came to me…well…I was reading the comments in donthiredeb.blogspot.com
But the name did come to me.
TW:Anyone
for Ellen on toast?
Rather more than you’d care to know about the TW or “Turing Word”.
Regards,
Ric
TW: I already gave that explanation.
Let’s add some sweets to the drinking
Chocolate Cupcakes with Chestnut-Fromage Blanc Frosting and Madeira Wine Glaze
mmMMMmmmm
RK Cafe has several specials tonight – http://www.billwilliams.org/R/roadkill.html
All this about scabs and boogers…if you become
a vegetarian, can you still drink? Hmmm…
then again maybe if you drink enough you forget
that everything tastes like chicken which in turn
tastes like scabs and boogers. Hey, what’s left
in that liquor cabinet!
TW: I’m serious.
He`s gone for a few days and all you people can do is talk chicken and boogers, for shame.Dammit find the greenies, the qualudes and every other pill shaped thing laying around. Ther`s only a few days left, PARTY TIME! …..hope some one
cleans up tho…
TW:anyone;as in anyone feel free to clean this mess up,after we`re done.
Rattlesnake.
Duh.
TW: But if you get one in a corner, remember it’s more afraid of you than you are of it.
You were “told”.
Ah huh…
By someone you just met that read it in a book, right?
Riiiiggght.
I was wondering why Dr. Demented uses all that goofy and childish hip-hop phrasing and abbreviations in her posts…the it hit me…they’re typos.
It must be hard avoiding errors when typing with your nose….on account of the straight jacket, and all.
tw:
I hope Dr Demented takes her friends’ advice to heart and gets the help she needs.
Any Lagavulin the liquor cabinet or do you still just stock that shitty Cutty Sark crap?
Lee,
It was bloggers not boogers. If you marinate boogers properly they don`t taste anything like venison.
Ric Locke—the good news? It’s tequila. When you give it back, no one will know the difference. Kinda like Budweiser, altho some folks say they can taste less formaldehyde in the ‘after’ version there…
TW there’sas in ‘Waiter, there’s a drink in my fly. Bring me a glass with a wider bottom…’
She needs a surname.
I dedicate this thread to Ellen Gone.
Ooohhh, bloggers!
I ate a blogger once.
Kinda tasted like fish.
Zen update.
Sometimes, compassion brings serenity. But sometimes serenity only comes from acknowledging that compassion is, in certain situations, a sucker’s game.
I’ll take #2 spring rolls, please!
Sometimes, one must be cruel to be kind.
Well, that certainly describes me right now. I was trying to help SWMNBN, not because she deserved help, but because I just cannot walk by a drowning person and not just at least try. Ya’ know? So, I certainly do feel like a sucker now.
JG, I will totally respect your wishes regarding the liquor cabinet. I’ll stick to the wine cellar, no problem. If you could just let the cheese come to room temp, I’ll even clean up afterwards.
Tough love. Tough love.
TW: That’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout.
The question is: Does Karl Rove’s breakfast burritos contain chicken or scabs?
God, you brown-nosing little suck-up… uh, if there’s any good wine, can we share?
There can be no serenity until every Liberal in America says “Bush did one thing right once”, or until the entire Dembulb leadership goes on a group vacation to Tiajauna and gets kidnapped by a mariachi band.
Like any benevolent despot MR.Goldstein is doing a periodical drive by just to check on his estate. For cry`in out loud, someone do a liquor run, clean up a bit, and replace the drugs we`ve done.
G
Of course. I’ll bring some of those little wine glass charms so we don’t get our glasses mixed up (Dear God I HATE that). And I’ll bring my best cheese slicer.
If you could pick up some of those great flatbread crackers from Whole Foods, that would be great.
Lydia—Rove’s breakfast burritos are MADE by scabs, working for bottom dollar to keep their brothers down, man!
OK folks..I’m heading out for a booze run, and a stop at Tommy’s on Rampart on the way back..who’s chipping in?
Serenity and compassion seldom belong in the same breath, let alone the same sentence.Who`s got the key to the wine cellar?
OK, fine. But this leaves the question
what do chicken scabs taste like?
TW: country, as in is a tall, woody plant in which dwells a singularly unhinged species of troll.
Just stay the hell out of my liquor cabinet.
Did you hear that Darleen?? Let’s grab your jello shots and cupcakes and hit the hottub!!
Whoo hoo!
What, you couldn’t tell me this 5 years ago?
I don’t have a key to the wine cellar, but usually the basement door is not locked. I think we’ll be ok.
If there is a lock, it’s probably just a combination lock. I hear those can be blown up with minimal damage.
Again, I’ll totally clean up.
Alas, I know nothing about explosives.