Recorded at Legend Studio, Pascagoula, Mississippi, June 1979, but never released.*
“Give’im Three Steps”
I was cutting the rug
Down at a place called the Jug
With my LORD, the King of the Jews
When in walked a man
With a whip in his hand
And he was looking for THE SAVIOR, too.
He said, hey there JESUS,
With the hair flowin’ free, jus’
watcha tryin’ to prove?
cause these are my people here
And I’m a man to fear
And this might be all for you.
I was scared and fearing for CHRIST’S life.
I was shakin’ like a leaf on a tree.
cause he was lean, mean,
Big and bad, Lord
This hitter for the Pharisees.
I said, wait a minute, fellow,
The SON OF GOD is mellow
Dont want no trouble with you.
And I know you don’t owe HIM
But I wish you’d let HIM
Ask one favor from you.
(chorus)
Wont you give HIM three steps,
Give’im three steps mister,
Give’im three steps towards the door?
Give’im three steps
Give’im three steps mister,
And you’ll never see CHRIST no more.
Well the crowd cleared away
And I began to pray
As OUR LORD, he refused to speak.
And I’m telling you son,
Well, it ain’t no fun
Watchin’ JESUS turn the other cheek
So I spun and screamed at some cowardly Jews
And that’s a break THE SON was looking for.
And you could hear Aramaic a mile away
As HE was headed out towards the door.
(chorus)
Wont you give HIM three steps,
Give’im three steps mister,
Give’im three steps towards the door?
Give’im three steps
Give’im three steps mister,
And you’ll never see CHRIST no more.
(’cause you’ll be going straight to Hell, baby.
Come Judgement Day
Fire and brimstone is your reward, Mr Bully.
Eternal pain…)
****
Cristy Lane lost recordings 1, 2, 3, and 4.
I really must know what your liquor cabinet contains. This made me laugh and laugh, even more than the thought of the French sending troops to Lebanon.
Christianist!
So if according to them Bush is Hitler, what’s that make the Joo-hating American Left?
Anybody got a scorecard?
tw: British.
Jeff –
While I’d reckon you are keeping your eye on a certain website that shall not be named, you should be aware that the following was posted by its owner this morning under the heading “am i crazy?”:
TW: A certain deranged party is behaving in a profoundly anti-social manner.
Yeah, I remember Christi back in the day. Wearing platform huaraches, reeking of patchouli oil, dropping tabs of MDA like they were breath mints and doing poppers for the Lord. She autographed my silk shirt before throwing up on it. Good times.
Mmmmmmmmmmm. Is that a veiled threat?
tw: men. The men is the white coats are standing in the wings.
Very Funny.
Also OT, but what the hell: If you want to see what an Islamist hack looks like.
– Leave it to a Jew to do religious schtick on a Saturday after a friday night bash. Have you no mercy Goldstein. Damn you. Damn you to hell. (But leave the MP3’s where we can find them).
– Cristy was hot at one time. I guess she’d still be for anyone in a motorized chair, and a fist full of viagra.
TW: which is kind of nostalgic now that I think about it. Oh nurse…NURSE!… bring me the HEAD nurse…. STAT!
FREECHERUB!
TW: There’s music in all things, if men had ears.
Fatwa Arbuckle
TW: A certain deranged party is behaving in a profoundly anti-social manner.</blockquote>OOh, is someone going to have a complete breakdown in open court? That’ll be choice.
TW: court ( seriously… I have no words )
A Fistful of Viagra. Good title.
Hey guys! Check out this American Hero’s Blog and give him some comments/love.
Check out the post on Iran’s President declaring the possession of Nuclear Weapons!
Alarming stuff.
“DEATH TO AMERICA!”
http://truthonirag.blogspot.com/
Now THAT was funny.
Dude – this is sacrilegious – not for the religious stuff – for vandalizing a Skynard classic.
TW: Response – I have no response to this blasphemy.
/whisper
OCSteve, don’t take this personally, but you might could sell your schtick a little better if you spelled Skynyrd right.
/whisper off
Sweet home…
Anybody got a four-syllable town or city name in the Middle East that people will recognize?
I can only come up with Jerusalem but it’s not quite what I’m looking for.
McGehee,
Sweet Home Ali Baba?
McGhee: Ali-baba-land? No… Hm…
tw: to each his own.
How about al-ramadi?
You can turn Teheran into four syllables if you do the four packs a day death rattle/hack on the second through third. Te-he-eeeeeeeer-ran The front row of fans can wear face shields for the flying lung cookie.
tw: the was no *reason* for that visual… but you are all most welcome anyway
Perhaps “Baghdad Iraq”?
Al Fallujah
It`s lung meat,not “ lung cookie “. Might change the visual,likely not the literal. Both are gross,but do either taste like chicken?
tw: the fans sitting closest to the “stage”
need a facemask so the lung meat doesn`t put out an eye.
I guess that means we can’t appear on Stephen Colbert or Jay Leno or Hannity and Colmes together but that’s minor collateral damage.
TW: Do you think she looks longingly at the answering machine, waiting to see if they had called?
Personally, I think we should mention her as seldom as possible if we want to help Jeff.
Staring Clint Hardwood.
tw: good choice!
http://news.yahoo.com/photo/060805/ids_photos_ts/r3101797657.jpg
Follow the link and look at a badly falsified Lebanon photo by Reuters, photo dated Aug 5, 2006.
Ham-fisted use of the Photoshop clone tool to intensify the look of smoke over Beirut and to duplicate buildings.
Mmm, hmmm. Photoshopping so bad it begged to be blogged.
TW: The young artist requires more growth if he wishes to be skilled.
Actually, the features in the smoke clouds appear to be artifacts somehow of the camera; the boundaries of the clouds themselves are not identical and I don’t see any buildings that appear to be photo-duplicates. A lot of identical architecture, but not optically identical in the photo.
Unless the photo has been reworked since Eli’s comment, I don’t think this is any obvious case of “fake but accurate.”
Hmmm. On second look I may see what Eli’s referring to—features on the boundaries of each cloud appear to be repeated. I was trying to see something more obvious.
I may have to start adopted
as my avatar here.
McGehee: I love ya but you’re wrong. Look at the oddly symmetrical circles of exactly the same size (!!!!) in suspiciously straight lines.
Have another beer, dude. No hard.
Hi again, everybody—check it out, now LGF is onto the fraud photo:
http://littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/?entry=21956_Reuters_Doctoring_Photos_from_Beirut&only
I took a look at the smoke in the photo, and in my personal, professiional opinion (I have seen ALOT of smoke in my day) that shit is fake. But you don’t have to take my word for it.
So aside from being a good parody of a kickass song, whatcha tryin’ to say?
FREEBURDENOFCHRIST!
Cristy Lane? Why not go for the gold? Do I hear it for lost Elvis recordings? The Beatles? Just pick somebody I heard of before they showed up on an infomercial on channel 287 of my 300 channels of cable TV.
Cristy Lane? This is like an art forger copying a velvet Elvis painitng instead of a Monet or a Rembrandt.
I rather have a CD of the Land Lobster’s Greatest Hits.
you know,I really like the posts here.Thought provoking and LOL funny!What I’d like to know is this…Where the hell is VERC??…Did one of you bastards lock him up in his Napalm locker again??…we need the wisdom of the Verc
TW: and THEY said he’d never amount to anything…
Will someone PLEASE teach me how to do bold and links and just about every other damned thing here??…Most sites have instructions,but I can’t find them here…In the meantime,Google “Longtail” on youtube.com…it’s a pretty funny quick video
TW: I have an open mind,but html is CLOSED to me…
Blitz – you should see a few HTML tag buttons, and emoticon button, along the top edge of your comment box. Too use, highlite the text and clic the tag you want. Just clic the emoticon and select from the group, with the cursor positioned where you want it to appear.
– Now if you’re done using Cristy, it’s my turn. I’ve only got 12 hours left on this woody, and Cindy Lauper wants her dildo back, so hurry up.
TW: A great way to fuck up the appearence of your posts with just a click. Now there’s an idea.
Wow, that doctored photo on Yahoo is really, really, really really bad. I wouldn’t even make a promotional piece that bad. (I do photoshop editing stuff for web design.)
What’s funny, of course is, there’s no way to comment on their photos directly. Sure, we can comment here about them, but there is no place on Yahoo where they can be commented on, much less Reuters.
I guess all of the good photoshoppers were busy melding the head of Lindsay Lohan onto the body of Jenna Jameson (for their ‘personal’ collections.) Which is better than the time they did…* on the body of Marilyn Monroe… (I think I actually got physical scarring from that. Moderate Safe Search is always on now!)
tw: used. * Special Madlibs RiverCocytus Comment! Which secondary punchline would have you used?
A. Ehud Olmert
B. Hillary Clinton
C. Hassan Nasrallah
D. Karl Marx
Could have sworn you were going to slip in a “Give Him three nails” in there at least once.
Thanks BBH,but god help you all,I’m gonna ‘speriment….<b>IF I screw up,please don’t shoot me..
Yeah,I screwed up…I just don’t get it
Done with Cristy???…hey,I grew up in a Christian household,think I’ve known her since I was born…LOVE the voice,but yeah,Im done wuth Cristy
TW:I’m more than competant at repairing and rebuilding comps,but I’m below AVERAGE at the whole social thing
Blitz: tags come in pairs. The first tag in “If I screw up just….” is correct. The passage should be followed immediately with a closing tag, </b>, same tag but with a slash to indicate “close command”…
Just make sure there’s always just one in front, and one in back with the slash and you should be fine.
If none of that makes sense just freshen your drink.
Well, it seems very quiet around here.
I should be socializing, but they’re watching America’s Most Wanted, and I can never sleep after that.
I know what you mean lunar. They always use the worst picture they can find of me on that show…
::crickets::
Someone must have taken the Tuba home last night… I wonder if McGehee took that when he left with the midget….
last i’d heard he’d just finished up a novel and was starting on the next one. but maybe he was pullin my leg.
Anyone we know on AMW lunar?
I’m telling ya, they all look familiar.
Very suspicious.
BBH…None of that makes any sense to me,and I have no wish to refresh my drink!! I’m new to the software side of machines,and the only blogger that I can honestly admit to knowing more than I do about what I do is Iowahawk….I repair things,I don’t build them
TW
OINTS…..does anyone here remember how to replace/repair them??
see???…I screwed up again….POINTS
Late night totally unrelated vodka thought:
Why do we even give muslims the time of day? They are pussies. The motto of the muslim should be: Losing all the time since around 1490.
Why give them pause? why even give them credit? I mean sure they cause alot of destruction and pain. But that’s all they can do. It’s like a terribly underdeveloped young man trying to prove he is worth a shit by going to jail. It’s disfunctional and retarded. An entire culture of retardation.
It’s almost as if they want the ATTENTION more than they want a resolution. Oh wait a second, it isn’t almost as if, IT IS.
Time to end this tantrum. We are all tired of it.
Damn.
Now I’m going to have to find and train a new midget.
Do you know how hard it is to find epileptic midgets now days?
TW: rest. There goes any rest I was getting for the next few weeks.
http://www.nbc4.tv/index.html
the news
Oops, forgo the rest.
Previous post was for you Blitz. I sent you an e-mail walking you thru this.
lunar – one item from that LA news link you posted caught my eye.
COLUMBUS, Ohio  A Central Ohio woman said she has had the same license plate on her car for more than a decade, but now the state is calling her personalized plate obscene.
– Pat Niple, (you just can’t make stuff like this up) turned 74 years old on Tuesday. She normally ordered her license plates and renewal stickers by mail. But this year, the Bureau of Motor Vehicles returned her check, accompanied by a letter. “The letter stated that I could no longer have my license plate, which was NWTF,†she said.
Niple’s personalized plates are NWTF, an abbreviation of Northwood Tree Farm  a business she owned with her late husband. It also means something else, officials said. Read the rest here, along with a shot of her plate.
– All I can say is if Niple’s are allowed to sport rings, NWTF is wrong with plates?
TW: Hmmmm, that might be what they were upset about.
Order WTFO or IHTFP instead…
SB: state
your name
– IHTFP would probably work, as long as you don’t park in front of any donut shops.
TW: I’m guessing by that look on your face ociffer, you doubt my story….
Big Bang, you have quite the eagle eye!
That’s funny, although I’m a bit embarassed because I grew up in Columbus.
It’s ok lunar. I’m a former Buckeye too. North High street has it’s ups and downs.
TW: Me ociffer?…no no….I’m the designated driver tonight, so I did all my drinking before we got to the bar….
Talk about a small world!
I’m no longer so familiar with n. high, but every visit I scour the music shops. The shops are way better than the UCLA used/bootleg shops.
And best of all, no matter where I shop, I end up at Donatos!
Hey…here’s something that the MSM hasn’t reported. I thought that the Muslims were only mad at us because we were in Iraq. If I am not mistaken, Germany told us to get bent and didn’t go. So why would they try to blow up trains in Germany? Was this to be their 7-7?
Lebanese Bombs Found On German Trains
I think this is the link you wanted Hose.
TW: Wonder what the british think about this.
Oopsie…My bad… It redirects. You have to go to the home site from that link, and click on “Germany”, and then run down the articals to the bomb thing.
The next time you get pulled over, quickly peel the label off the beer bottle and slap on your forehead. When the nice officer gets to the window, tell him you’re on the patch…………….and grin.
The next time you get pulled over, quickly peel the label off the beer bottle and slap on your forehead. When the nice officer gets to the window, tell him you’re on the patch…………….and grin.
The next time you get pulled over, quickly peel the label off the beer bottle and slap on your forehead. When the nice officer gets to the window, tell him you’re on the patch…………….and grin.
The next time you get pulled over, quickly peel the label off the beer bottle and slap on your forehead. When the nice officer gets to the window, tell him you’re on the patch…………….and grin.
The next time you get pulled over, quickly peel the label off the beer bottle and slap on your forehead. When the nice officer gets to the window, tell him you’re on the patch…………….and grin.
HD and BBH, I can’t get to it from either
link. Could it be buried already?
BTW Good Morning
Oh, here…I googled it and found this.
Interesting, is Germany sending suitcase
bombs to Beruit?
mkay.
here
TW:story Man that is too creepy for this
early in the am.
Funny thing about a jet fuel hangover—it can make a really bad picture look legit. I shoulda knowed something was wrong with my vision when I looked at my driver’s license photo and thought I looked unusually fit and healthy.
Oh, and I think I may have an alibi on the midget thing. I’m still waiting for the police reports.
Tuba…?
Er, no habla ingles.
<urp>
Isn’t that the new travel docudrama where Rush Limpbaugh is framed—framed!!—by a troop of epileptic midgets?
– I think that could be the birth of a whole new “cottage” industry. The “Rush vacation”, for those times when you’re only in town for the night, or you’re double parked.
TW: “….Oh hi Anny…This is my bud Alex…How long are you girls in town because we…”, “Would the owner of a white Toyota please move your vehical… For those staying at the hotel we permit parking in the rear…”
Which leads me to question just how certain are we those are really Israeli planes bombing Lebanon right now?
TW-> York…
I got nuthin’.
We are the Caliphate Restoration Society
We have a centrifuge that’s causing you some anxiety
We are the Andalus Reclamation society
We love bomb belts and big explosions of piety
Protecting the Ummah from Danish cartoons
Enforcing the dress-code with all of our goons
For so many moons
We are the Infidel Subjugation Fraternity
Allah save Tony Judt and good old Uri Avnery
We are the jiz-y-a tax-collection cooperative
We saw Paradise Now and found it to be evocative
We are the PLF Appreciation Dominion
Allah save Robert Fisk and friends of Sami Al-Arian
We read Sayyid Kutb just to ward off insomnia
We love OBL and Al-Gama’a al-Islamiyya
We board airplanes with bombs in our body cavities
We love mangled flaps, pressureless cabins, and gravity
Protecting the Ummah from Danish cartoons
Enforcing the dress-code with all of our goons
For so many moons
Allah save Tony Judt!
Wow!
That song takes me back to when George Thouroughgood did “One Bagel, some lox, and a schmear”.