If the world is indeed going to end on the 22nd, I suppose today’s as good a day as any to cash in those Reward Zone points I’ve been hording. Hell—while I’m at it, I may even hit the Indian buffet and give some of that mint chutney a go. Though I’m still not quite ready to experiment with any “specialty beads.”
I mean, you gotta hold out some hope, right?
Ethical question: Do I need to give two-weeks’ notice to my employer before cashing out my 401k and undertaking a pre-apocalytpic road-trip bender?
Hmmm… The Mrs’ birthday is the 23rd. Think I should risk skipping the whole gift thing?
Hey, maybe now is a good time, given increasing gas prices and impending Armageddeon, for me to try lobbying The Wife yet again for a motorcycle. I mean, if we’re all gonna be engulfed in a blaze of Muhammad’s holy and righteous infidel roasting fire anyways. There’s a Zen and motorcycle maintenance post in there somewhere, but I’m too busy digging the backyard fallout shelter to see it.
Sharp: Nah. With your luck, the mullahs will postpone the Apocalypse for two weeks, and then you’ll really be in the dog house.
I have two weddings to attend in September. Do I need to buy gifts?
The PW community can head to Hawaii’s Big Island, book out the Mauna Lani resort for an Armageddon bash, then re-populate a new society.
We can pair up Actus and Darleen for starters.
I have been overweight all my life and this is really demotivating.
I’d take up smoking again, but have you seen the price for a pack of cigs? Grass cheaper.
I’m all for Hawaii. Maybe we can get some kind of sweet group deal.
“Yes, I’d like to book 127 one way tickets to Hawaii, and the largest banquet room at the Mauna Lani. For August the 21st, an afternoon flight if possible.”
“That’ll be $127,540 sir.”
“Do you take credit?”
Woo! A chance to wear that red Ceylon dress I got in Charlotte.
And my Billy Jack hat.
Brian,
Too breed what? Humans with the IQ of sedimentary rock?
I guess that’s “Cylon”, isn’t it.
It would be a cynical society, that’s for sure. And its god would be an Armadillo.
“And its god would be an Armadillo.”
At last. A dancing god—but not on Friday’s.
We wouldn’t have to run around in those ratty loincloths like they do on Survivor, would we? Or wear pukk shells around our neck? I think I’d rather face the music with a bottle of Appleton’s than that.
Oh, the first one who tries to divide us into tribes dies. (Although a handsome standard might be nice: Or on a chevron azure between three Margaritas, one armadillo supine.)
– I could picture a day in their version of parliment, with actus sitting in front of dozens of piles of legislation, pondering the meaning of one of the semi-colons on page 4,327 of article 4.2.2.31, while Darleen stood over him, hammering his skull with her 6 inch stelletto high heel, and yelling, “Common you insipid little asshole, push that damn pen, put your spineless back into it, you lint-brained twit!!!”.
TW: The view from the edge of the cliff….
If it’s truly ending, you wouldn’t mind giving me all your money….
Well, if I was sure, I’d go get that HD, giant screen, surround sound entertainment system I really want, but can’t afford. But, it would be just my luck that the first payment comes due on September 1st, and I’d still be around, and screwed!
If it’s truly ending, you wouldn’t mind giving me all your money….
Is this a good time to short a few thousand shares of, say, Microsoft?
They could be our own, modern version of the Clintons, but with a little of “The Honeymooners” thrown in. And Jeff would, of course, control the media. Our national health system would be based on Klonopin and martinis.
It’s also possible that the bastard is trying to give us a collective case of the shits.
At least we can rule out financial manipulation. If he’d been trying to short out some NYSE stocks, then he wouldn’t have given us a date with such apocalyptic meaning.
Well, marcus in the previous thread seems to think it’ll be just a test, not an attack. Let’s hope for that.
Well hell,
I guess I had better let the kids know that the 3 day trip to Disneyland ain’t gonna happen. In the mean time the bomb shelter is loaded with supplies and I have to get to the local Bev mo to stock up on Bombay Blue Sapphire. Still gotta drink you know.
ahem-
Assuming that it is a test, and assuming it is successful, what will (or should) be our response?
Marcus – I’d vote for a standard issue boot in the ass.
Be sure to take SPQR to the Big Island, then nobody mate with him.
Talk about the post-Apocalytic blues….
If you’re a real man, you never buy wedding gifts.
DON’T BUY INTO THE OBLIGATORY WASTEFUL SPENDING!
Looks like I’ll sneak my first anniversary in just under the wire. Since the appropriate gift for this occasion is paper, I’m considering making my wife a poster telling her how sorry I am that we will both be dead in 2 days, but as far as this issue goes; I am NOT taking the blame. I expect that will go over very well.
On second thought, maybe round the world cruise tickets (paid with a credit card, naturally) might be a better idea. The other idea seems less, oh I don’t know, festive.
On this island, can I pee on Actus?
Shank, I hope so. Something massive and merciless.
Avoid the mint chutney, Jeff. I wouldn’t want you to end up all gastrically distressed at the moment the sky lights up. Urp.
marcus: That would depend on how it turned out. I think it would rattle enough people to mobilize the west. Possibly give us a rare moment of unity. Ideally, we’d be creating a wide range of military alliances to check Iran’s ambitions, but you never know.
Meanwhile, there are 11 missing Egyptian “students” who didn’t show up for their lessons in …….Montana?
“possible?” Oh yeah.
If you can get him to hold still long enough.
Well, we made our 2nd wedding anniversary on the 31st. So that was nice.
Though I can’t quite go there. I mean, the Russians never did blow us up in time to salvage my undone homework in the ‘80’s. Somehow the sun always rose on my unfinished book report.
OTOOH, following Defense Guy, maybe August is the month to spend big on the credit card . . .
Only if he’s on fire. If you feel like being a samaritan.
Except, perhaps, our dear little troll David.
“Is this a good time to short a few thousand shares of, say, Microsoft?”
Nah, I’m not that sure.
– A smouldering actus that’s been peed on…. Not sure how we know the difference…
TW: The coming utopia will make sure every act of humanity, such as putting out burning trolls, is for the greater good. (Heil ‘dillo)
Hold still? Whaddaya talking about—he’d be dancin’ around under the stream like Kate Pierson hopped up on a crystal/X/cid cocktail at an Alpha Phi rush party in Athens, singing “Good stuff!! Gimme some of that good, good stuff!”
Okay, that was just wrong. I’m going to hell.
With some gobsmackingly vile Shining Happy People shit on the jukebox in Athens…I can’t think of a worse way to go.
Sounds like a trip to Key West would be a good idea. Maybe we could convert the Prius to a watercraft and go to Cuba?
True, but the “End of the World as We Know It” blasting out of a cheap boombox with a fifth of tequila under the Tree That Owns Itself would be kinda cool.
That was me.
I chose not to join all of the folks dying on the 22nd, so send me all of your money. You won’t need it anymore.
Right after that dontcha need the song that goes…
BOOM BOOM BOOM OUT GO THE LIGHTS.
Cant remember the name although it sticks around the morning after a really good southern bender.
TW spring Any other good end days songs spring to mind. How about a dedicated post for songs Jeff?
Don’t have any $$ Be glad if you’d pay the bills though.
Steph, just toss a set of parentheses in there and you’ve got it.
Highway to Hell
The End
Flirtin’ With Disaster
BOOM BOOM BOOM OUT GO THE LIGHTS.
Cant remember the name…
Pat Travers.
“If I get her in my sights…”
I don’t know if that song even has a name.
tw – “southern”, I shit you not.
Travers had a hit with it, but Boom Boom is a John Lee Hooker song.
I will let this moment of heresy slide, but consider yourselves warned.
Well there you go…
Shots are on me.
Damn my hubbies gonna love that!!
TW Shots make me so… willing to give…
Well I for one welcome our apocalyptic overlords.
We’re going to Hawaii? Road trip!
Wait a sec…
Oh great. I have two vacations planned for the September to October timeframe, one of which I had planned on taking in Amsterdam.
And no, I hadn’t planned to remember a whole lot about it.
TW: We could experiment with the specialty beads together.
You can bring those “specialty beads” and feed me shots all night
Ted Nugent
Damn..does it have to be Hawaii? I burn so easily….I suggest Alaska!! Beautiful northern lights,GREAT fishing,hunting and gathering.Also,all the oil we can burn!!…maybe not so great a party place though…
TW: Yeah,I’m stuck in MASS