Nothing to see here. Just felt like using that title, is all. And you gotta admit, it was almost worth it.
****
update: Count Cockula Rules!
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Recent Comments
- In The Mailbox: 02.28.23 (Afternoon Edition) : The Other McCain on Hey, longtime pw readers…
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Oh, you’re good!
Well, her poetry was positively Vogonesque.
Can’t we adopt the phrase “Frisch happens?”
Cordially…
Brilliant title.
“Mom? Have there ever been times when you didn’t feel… well… feel so frisch…?”
Count Cockula rules! Debbie Frisch drools.
Drools? I’ll never see expert systems in the same way ever again.
I don’t think Frisch realizes that “Count Cockula” sounds like a nom de porn, not an insult.
Does Count Cockula turn the milk kinda brown and weird-tasting?
Too bad she isn’t mostly harmless.
How do you make chocolate? You take dark chocolate, you mix it with white milk, and it becomes a delicious drink. That is the chocolate I am talking about.*
Hey, but you know what? You looked pretty good as Count Cockula.
I will expect to see you dressed in the cape and hood for the next Blogger Bash.
The past couple of days has been wierder than “Waiting for Godot.”
There once was a Frisch with a mullet.
Jeff’s cock, she just had to pull it.
It swelled up in size,
And beat out her eyes,
Fast, like the speed of a bullet.
Count Cockula, with apologies to Sesame Street:
“Vun, vun, vun, vun!”
TW: happened, as in Frisch happened
Hey, Jeff, looks like Deb finally sent out a sincere apology. Sadly, it wasn’t to you. It reads:
“I really do apologize for embarrassing the students and faculty at the University of Arizona.
This will be my last post on South(west)paw on the Goldstein affair for at least one month.”
I guess your “tyke” is open game again in about thirty days.
This is great … I have to sign in again. I haven’t seen a TW in a loooong time.
TW: “special” Isn’t she?
My goodness, Jeff, the reactionary leftist cockroaches are all stirred up.
The site is running snappier than it ever has…cool. I like the pagination too.
I’m not getting this? Who is Frisch? You mean the Big Boy? I wouldn’t call that a mullet exactly, more like a ducktale. I guess its kinda mullety if you squint sideways.
Hey, am I the only one who remembers Fruit Brute? In the old days, people were always like Count Chocula, blah, blah, Franklinberry, blah, blah, Boo Bery, ect., And thewn I would say, yeah and Fruit Brute.
Then its all blank stairs. ANd I say, “you know. Fruit Brute! He was the wherewolf one. He was generally fruity.”
And they all would look at me like, are you high.
(Which in all homesty, yes, but that doesn’t mean there was no Fruit Brute. )
Aslo, Freakies.
Witheld,
You don’t have anything against gay werewolves, do you?
Because that would be uncool.
“I vant to suck your . . . ew.”
Withheld  “Blank stairs” are called “ramps”… just so you know there’s a word for it.
That is almost, but not quite, completely unlike chocolate milk.
Mr. Adams, you left us too soon.
tw: living This thing is haunted, I tell ya…
Um, no, Dan Collins. I guess you don’t know me (progessive). I didn’t say I was OPPOSED to Fruit Brute, just that I was the only one apparently throughout the mid to late 80’s who would even acknowledge its existents. That was a scary times for any number of reason. (Dan Quayle was a heartbeat away from… Oh. never mind.)
Michael Dukakis to name one…
Lot’s of “advanced searches” today. Looks like “Retardo Montalban” at SN! is going to be putting together another of his “Adlerian” analyses of me.
Which, I’m not sure what “Adlerian” means, exactly—but from context, I gather the last time he used it to mean something like “look what I can do with things taken out of context and the joined together by my preconceived notions and intentional omissions! Give me kudos, Amanda!”
I’m thinking I’ll maybe pull out of the Online Integrity thing. Integrity doesn’t mean we should be compelled to respect the privacy of those who rely on our restraint to launch the basest personal attacks.
Although I’m sure Glenn Greenwald can cite caselaw that say it means precisely that, and Andrew Sullivan would bemoan any walking back on earlier pledges as proof that I have lost my moral authority.
I AM BECOME A ROGUE NATION! FEAR THE UNRESTRAINED COUNT COCKULA, BITCHES!
I have just now figured out who the hell Jeff means when he talks about Billy Jack.(see various conversations with Chutch, if Jeff’s archives are still there..)
VH1. I love the 70’s Vol 2. Just had a segment about that show. Heh.
Methinks Ms. Frisch could use the right (!!) foot upside the left (snicker!) side of her face. (and there ain’t a d*mn thing she can do about it!!!)
I am old enough to remember Count Chocula, Frankenberry, AND BooBerry; mom refused to buy them because they were chockfull of sugar. But I grew up to be a fabulous individual anyway, with no whining allowed.
lovely title… a casual reminder to nutty adjunct professors who find themselves suddenly unemployed: DON’T PANIC!
I always knew it would come to this. They won’t like Count Cockula when he’s angry.
“Witheld,
You don’t have anything against gay werewolves, do you?
Because that would be uncool.”
http://www.pataphysics-lab.com/journal/2004/05/26/homowolf-leads-uneaten-meatware-to-salvation/
SO you too deny the Fruit Brute, galsshopper. You see what I mean? Just Photoshopped out of history, like poof.
Run! Hide! He’s going to turn us all into VERBS! INTERNET VERBS!
TW: carried, what Deb too far to things
You believe in the Fruit Brute, don’t you, Charlie Brown?
Oh, I don’t know; Cockenstein’s Monster sounds like a better title, Jeff.
Kind of like New Coke, right? I hear you.
Maybe that Bath Bear feller can do one of his investigaties on Fruit Brute too. Let’s ask!!
Goodnight, Jeff and commenters. Sweet dreams.
TW: close, as in how to hug you family.
(Be sure to use the Lysol to get rid of that nasty smell.)
I’m beginning to suspect that Deb is a little crazy
JG: pls post whatever info you can on the (D)DOS attacks. I’d like to track down whomever is responsible for these, wouldn’t want to see them become a common tactic.
* the fact that there appear to be multiple IP’s doesn’t necessarily mean that the attacks are distributed, the IP’s may be spoofed.
I am immune to internet verbification because I am taken the little precaution of being irregular.
Oh, sure you could try it, Pastemeister and your dingers minions. You could say “Boy, he really “witheld” it that time. Or is it “withelded” it? Or “witholded”? Oh, fuckit. Never mind.”
Can’t touch this.
We probably don’t want to know what the coffin Count Cockula sleeps in is shaped like. Nope.
It rhymes with “withheld”…?
And all this time I thought it was “whistled” said with a lisp.
Stewed prunes every morning should clear that right up.
Actually its short for “Name Witheld.” Because of secret identity (I don’t want John Ashcroft looking at MY library book check outs, thankyou very much.)
withheld: I missed you. there’s no place like home.
But you think of it as whistled with a lips if you want (kind of like that actuaully.)
Now if we could only figure out who Eld is and we’ll know who you’re with.
Witheld,
Errr, I think McGehee’s point was that your name doesn’t make any sense without both the h’s. Or maybe you’re witholding one, whatever that means?
keep up the great work Jeff! don’t let the bastards get you down.
moonbats have the unique talent of shooting themselves in the head.
so let’s just let that happen…
Sometimes he uses one H, sometimes two.
“Behold, I am become Cockula, destroyer of worlds!” – Dr. Jeff Oppenheimer
Thanks, ahem. I had to wait for that sad little person to leave because she was make me want to cry. Still kind of sad about it actually.
Especially because of that picture of her and her partner and their cute dog that some one found. I was felt especially sad for the dog, because, you know, above all, important to rememmber that dog is an innocent on all this.
And now creepy dinger death threats are constantly poring in droves for her, and that dog is all looking up at her with sad brown dog eyes asking why do they hate us, Mommy #1? (Somehow, from the picture, I think she’s Mommy #1. I can’t put my finger in it, just a hunch.)
Oh, God, its too sad to think about. That little dog.
Sometimes H e feels like a nut.
Sometimes H e don’t.
Count Cocula does indeed rule! Whereas Countess Bitchula only plays the fool! (I know, keep my day job.)
I re-Photoshopped the Cocula graphic and retitled it Count Bitchula! Guess whose picture I put in it?
See it here, now, come one, come all!
http://saberpoint.blogspot.com/2006/07/countess-bitchula.html#links
Hope y’all like it.
I find its more ecomonical with one h.
Witheld,
I buy my letters and punctuation in bulk, and PASS THE SAVINGS ON TO YOU! Go on, splurge. You deserve it.
Stogie–
I DO like it, but please, let’s not start misspelling Cockula already. People won’t respect our accuracy.
Withheld: I wish you could give me some warning. I just spilled my wine.
Does that make Fruit Brute a weregay?
How many Count Cockula box tops for the Tequila filled Mr Bath Armadillo?
Well he attempted at FireDog world, in which Hamsher deemed brilliant in the comments…i.e. dumbed down the meaning
Silly geezer, it makes him a queerwolf.
I’m thinking it’s:
wi the l d
wit held
with eld
wit he l d
with el d
w it he l d
oh, hell, Igotnuttin.
“Count Cockula”
I’m sorry, but was that supposed to be an insult?…because I know some chicks who would dig a dude with that name…
By the way, Patterico for Supreme Court Justice:
http://sadlyno.com/archives/003219.html#comment-63179
Like Virgil in the underworld
rc
And I USED to know some girls who wouldn’t have minded being known as the Countess of Cockula. I mean, before I was married.
Hmmm. Does a weregay refute the nature-nurture debate about gayness? At least during a full moon?
TW: full moon, not as in heinie
There’s no H in ecomonocle. Er, ecumenical. Uhhh…
Ummm.. Withy? Irregular verbs also have conjugational issues…
Poor li’l guy.
A classic Monty Python sketch brilliantly illustrates the famed “Affaire Frisch”:
http://jrhoo.blogspot.com/2006/07/and-now-for-something-well-you-get.html
On second thought, I don’t think I’d like Oregon that much.
TW: The whole world is a stage, but my dog ate the script….
geezer, please! Weregay is so Victorian. It’s queerwolf. Sheesh, how many times do I have to tell you?
Dan,
Whoops! I was thinking Cocula like Dracula.
Hey I managed to dress myself this morning, give me some credit!!
Retard’s guest stint on us all at Firedogworld….funny, didn’t they go nutty over the “knob from knoxville’s” reasoning for having no comments on his site (WAPO online chat)…that comments would be attributed to him…didn’t they say that was absurd, no </i>blogger is held responsible or attributed what a commenter says or does…
well, since they’ve changed the paradigm, <i>yet again oh nevermind…they’re talking 2 sides now as it is…bad PW commenters but…don’t lump us all in with Deb and DU and Kos and well all then lefty commenters.
For a guy, Count Cockula as a nickname is actually quite a good advertisement.
The people who are making fun of me?
YOU SUCK, but, you are making me laugh, at you, and at me also.
Seriously, The Mr. Bath Bear situation is a for real serious situation.
I suppose getting the “WORD” out in comical ways is OK for now. But really, this Mr. Bath Bear Situation is Serious.
MarioGeorgeNitrini111
mariogeorgenitrini111
_____________________
The OJ Simpson Case
I think it’s just typical that you wingnut tools of the patriarchy (’nut’ and ‘tools’—a reference to male genitalia; a little subtle progressyve humor there) chased off poor Dr. Frisch for merely trying to discuss clarification of certain aspects of a Womyn’s Right to Choose. To wit: should the current prohibition on aborting post-natal fetuses (that are not, technically speaking, biologically related to the Womyn, but that have scary parents that make the Womyn feel intellectually inferior and pee herself just a little) be struck down judicially or legislatively?
TW: I’m not even going to say, ‘cause it’s too freaking spooky…
Count Cockula sounds like a blaxploitation film. Kinda like Shaft, but even less subtle.
The Killer Eggs situation is serious, too. But do you see Al Gore making a movie about that? No.
Stogie–
I think the tiny head in the outfit of your photoshop works fine, but two things. First, she should be pouring a bottle of wine (or blue agave) onto the cereal. Second, for symmetry’s sake, it ought to be “Cuntula”. That’s just my two cents, though.
There’s no question that Jeff is a huge tool. Whether a dick-slapping by Count Cockula could do any real damage is a different question, of course.
Observer–
Bwahahaha! Nice try being hip, dude! It’s COCKSLAPPING! Or you can say you “WHACKJOBBED” someone if you want to be all Cosa Nostra about it.
TW: thinking, as in “what were you?”
“observer.”
My, how American Beauty that name is. Do you wear a wool cap on your heads?
You’ve really frisched up now, Observer.
Hey, Jeff, you take over now. I’ve got to go to bed.
The Frisch Corrolary to Godwin’s Law
The first person to bring up someone’s kids in an internet exchange automatically loses.
Don’t you have to be unusually tall to slap someone that way. I wonder if Oregon has lower taxes.
TW: Press hard actus. The forms are in triplicate, and the pens don’t include batteries….
Well Dan….you did your best but as they say…
Frisch happens…..
I here you, obeserver (what your saying). But your forgetting about the psycholigical damage of it.
I mean, after, its hard to make a good joke about (like you did, a very good joke, I might add) that his cock is not so big or whatever. Cause of, lets face it, you got cockslapped with it.After that, how big it is beside the point.)
That’s why its so uncool of ever to even say that.
Serously, dudes, I am VERY uncomfortable with this whole cockslapping. This is your fair warning dingers. And if you keep talking about cockslapping to me, I can’t be held responsible for what I might say back (to teach you a lesson about civility). I don’t know what is yet, but it will be BAD.
No, actually, I take that back, that’s just the stupidest damn thing I can think of. LOLOFORLFO! I can’t believe I said that.
This is one of the most bizzare things I’ve seen in a long time. Sadly it is typical of the left these days.
OT: Looks like the comments break every 20 comments and you get to go onto a new page.
Is that a bug or a feature?
actus’s twin,
I think we have a thread killer. Jeff’s website ate my first submission, which was no loss.
Gotta wipe the beer off the monitor.
Pathological…she’s already broken her promise…tonight. Victimhood is fun, apparently.
David,
It’s a “bugger.”
TW: member (Freakin’ TW; now I’m going to have nightmares)
Think about this for a sec. That Count Chockula is a pretty good photoshop job if you look at it up close. Check out that other photo.
I want to adopt Witheld. I want to adopt him and raise him as my own.
topsecret–
Crap. I gave her too much credit. I had tomorrow morning 11 am Eastern time in the pool.
David, I’d say it’s a feature. Making the pages smaller (to a point) ought to reduce the amount of bandwidth Jeff has to use to get the job done. Unfortunately, to really be effective at it would require things like (ugh) frames.
Dan Collins
We are thinking along the same, but not exact lines. You think it should be “Cuntula”, for symmetry. I was thinking he should have dropped the “u” in Count, for accuracy.
gail….just…. well just get a grip….. no not THAT grip…….
TW: What this kerfluffle needs is a little more tabasco….
Hey, where did that Observer person frisch off to?
Let’s compromise. Cuntess Cuntula has a nice nutty squirrel shit ring to it.