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John Bolton’s straight-talking mustache, “Regis,” addresses the UN, defends Israel’s right to self defense

After a couple belts of morning single malt and a breakfast of 5 fried eggs, some biscuits and gravy, and eight strips of hickory smoked bacon (because let’s face it—that’s how men eat), US UN Ambassador John Bolton and his straight-talking mustache, Regis, delivered the following statement to the Security Council during its special public session on Lebanon.  Via Atlas Shrugs:

Mr. President, in recent days and weeks, we have seen an outbreak of violence in the Middle East, sparked by attacks and kidnappings which Hamas and Hizballah carried out against Israel.  Events continue to develop even as we speak.

Hizballah’ s incursions across the Blue Line on July 12 were a deliberate and premeditated provocation intended to undermine regional stability and are contrary to the interests of both the Lebanese and Israeli people. We unequivocally condemn the kidnapping by Hizballah, a terrorist organization, of two Israeli soldiers and call for their immediate and unconditional release.

Provocations across the Blue Line by terrorist groups highlight the urgent need for full and immediate compliance by Syria and Hizballah with relevant UN Security Council resolutions, including 1559, 1583, 1655, and 1680.

The international community has made clear its desire to see the central authority of the Government of Lebanon extended throughout the country.

In this context, we underscore the importance of the Security Council President’ s statement of June 18, 2000 and the Secretary-General’s conclusion that as of June 16, 2000, Israel had withdrawn all its forces from Lebanon in accordance with UNSC resolution 425 and met the requirements defined in the Secretary-General’s s May 22, 2000 report.

As President Bush said yesterday, we are concerned about the fragile democracy in Lebanon. While we have been working very hard with partners to strengthen the democracy in Lebanon, we are also making clear that the democratic aspirations of the Lebanese people must not be undermined by the irresponsible and destabilizing actions of Hizballah.

We have repeatedly made clear to Lebanon and Syria our serious concern about the presence of terrorist groups on their soil and the periodic attacks against Israel from groups and individuals in southern Lebanon.

All militias in Lebanon, including Hizballah, must disarm and disband immediately and the Lebanese government must extend and exercise its sole and exclusive control over all Lebanese territory.

President Bush has made clear that Syria and Iran must be held to account for supporting regional terrorism and their role in the current crisis. Syria provides safe haven to the militant wing of Hamas and provides material support to Hizballah, which also maintains an active presence in Syria. Iran’s extensive sponsorship and financial and other support of Hizballah is well known and has been ongoing for decades. No reckoning with Hizballah will be adequate without a reckoning with its principal state sponsors of terror.

We call on Syria and Iran to cease their sponsorship and support of terrorist groups, in particular Hizballah and Hamas. For the third time in two weeks, we again call on Syria to arrest Hamas leader Khaled Meshal, who currently lives in Damascus.  There is no excuse for a member state of the United Nations to continue to knowingly harbor a recognized terrorist.

The Secretary General’ s decision to send a senior level team to the region is a development that is welcomed by my government.

We are also engaged with the primary parties and other concerned leaders to help restore calm and achieve a resolution to this crisis. In fact, senior U.S. officials are in Jerusalem today for meetings.

All parties in the region must accept their responsibilities for maintaining security and stability.  We urge all parties to accept the principle that governments must exercise sovereign control over territory. The United States remains firmly committed to working with others not only to resolve the present situation but toward building longer-term peace and stability in the region.

Bolton’s mustache then got up, removed a large “no smoking” placard from the wall, lit the corner with its brass Zippo, and used the flame to light up a hand-rolled Honduran cigar.

Just because it could.

37 Replies to “John Bolton’s straight-talking mustache, “Regis,” addresses the UN, defends Israel’s right to self defense”

  1. anon says:

    The lunatic woman has addressed Jeff again today.

    She has called his wife “Cunt Cockula.”

    http://debfrisch.com/admin/mt-comments.cgi?entry_id=515

  2. steve says:

    I can have a breakfast like that, like, once a month.

  3. ahem says:

    I love the smell of testosterone in the morning–especially American testosterone.

    Oh, anon? FOAD

  4. Pablo says:

    How can I miss you if you won’t go away?

  5. Scott P says:

    That’s one man-up moustache.  Don’t even mention wax to it.

  6. Johnny Catbird says:

    I would have expected Regis to be more of a steak and eggs type mustache, myself.  Still, bacon is good.

  7. TerryH says:

    during its special pubic session on Lebanon

    Ew.  Not sure I want to watch live footage of this one.  I’m sure Regis can handle it. 

    TW – Really, you can’t make this stuff up.

  8. Sticky B says:

    Gosh!! That type of language just doesn’t sound very diplomatic. He may have hurt some feelings with that blunt speaking style of his. Can we not offer the world someone with a little more……..nuance than that? Someone willing to dance the night away with murderous tyrants maybe?

  9. CraigC says:

    When it comes to veiled threats, Regis doesn’t bother with the veil. Or even a wink and a nod. I think even the Titan of Tehran got that one.

  10. Kofi Annan says:

    (clapping slowly)

    That was a mighty fine speech Regis, but it still doesn’t answer one critical question – how can I (or my son) benefit financially from this conflict?

  11. MarkD says:

    Where’s Albright when we need her.  I mean she could leg press Hizballah into submission if dancing doesn’t do it.

    Or maybe Sandy Burger could put them down his pants.

    They wouldn’t be smoking no stinking Honduran.  Cuban maybe.

  12. Imhotep says:

    Bolton and his moustache are “human scum”. Peace

  13. mRed says:

    imhotep

    even you “name” is presumptuous. Peace indeed. Moron.

  14. allswell says:

    Regis/Bolton ‘08. A stand alone ticket if I’ve ever seen one.

  15. Good Lt says:

    Ooooo – somebody’s sensitive!

    Bolton irks Imhotep. He gets my vote.  hmmm

    TW: Bolton / Regis ‘08 would keep the UN above board for sure.

  16. Spiny Norman says:

    “Peace” is moonbat code for “fuck you”, isn’t it?

    rasberry

  17. Big E says:

    Bolton and his moustache are “human scum”. Peace

    Why?  Cause they remind you of your daddy?  Did daddy not give you everything you wanted?  Did daddy not pay attention to little Immy?  There, there Immy.  It’s ok, John Bolton’s not your daddy.  Run along back to your psychiatrist and cry to him some more how daddy ruined your life.  Please feel free to go right on being a moonbat dumbass all your life in a vane effort to get back at your daddy.  That’ll show him for not letting you go skiing alone with your friends when you were 12.

    Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

  18. Tsquared says:

    The Regis/cigar image made me laugh a long time.  Made me hit the tip jar, even.

  19. ahem says:

    Especially when they do it with that special one-fingered peace sign.

  20. noah says:

    Wonder what Bush is going to do in December when Bolton’s recess appointment runs out? I’m hoping that Bush will just do it all over again because I love John Bolton and I’m not even gay!

  21. ahem says:

    anon: Please accept my apology; I thought you were a troll.

  22. MaDr says:

    ahem

    You’re probably too young to know, but it’s actually a “three” fingered peace sign from the 60s.  It means “peace, but fuck you anyway”.

  23. ahem says:

    MaDr: Unfortunately, I am old enough to know, but I guess I was too high at the tinme to remember.

  24. MrWicked1968 says:

    I hope that this is further indication that the US has finally loosened Israel’s leash.

    For the Islamofascists and their apologists, here’s a quote from Tom Clancy’s newest book:

    “If you kick a tiger in the ass, you better have a plan for dealing with it’s teeth.”

  25. Jaibones says:

    Regis / Bolton vs. Billary / Frisch = ‘08

  26. Pamela says:

    Jeff, All I can say is when I saw Brit Hume do a news swgment on you, I fell off the divan. A gutenberg moment if ever.

    Brit Hume Special Report is the finest news hour on broadcast. You have, my dear dedicated fried, have truly arrived.

    Pamela

  27. Pamela says:

    OMG! Finally, do you have any idea how many times I have tried to comment.

    FORBIDDEN

    FORBIDDEN

    FORBIDDEN

    The club that will have me as a member is not any club I wish to belong to. – paraphrasing Groucho Marx

  28. Pamela, honey, if they’ll let me copmment here, they’ll let you comment.

    besides, you’re hot.

  29. Pamela says:

    no no it wasn’t that. I just kept getting bounced forbidden. I wrote Jeff a number of times. He tinkered, he toyed, he got the wife to tinker and toy but still.

    So today I tried out the blue and VOILA!

  30. Stormy70 says:

    Dear Regis, I think I might have to leave my husband for you. Mmmmmmm, power!

  31. Rusty. says:

    Bolton and his moustache are “human scum”. Peace

    Posted by Imhotep

    Can’t grow one,can ya?

  32. Pamela says:

    ah, the brain trust has arrived.

    What is about a great statesman that induces leftards to grand mal seize

    The irony of course is just how flagrantly the left exploits the very freedoms the right fights for, dies for.

  33. Noel says:

    Jeff,

    You need to see this:

    “…any mustache jealous for his nation

  34. Pablo says:

    This is worth a look too.

    To my Arab brothers: The War with Israel Is Over — and they won.

    Dear Palestinian Arab brethren:

    The war with Israel is over.

    You have lost. Surrender and negotiate to secure a future for your children.

    We, your Arab brothers, may say until we are blue in the face that we stand by you, but the wise among you and most of us know that we are moving on, away from the tired old idea of the Palestinian Arab cause and the “eternal struggle” with Israel.

    Dear friends, you and your leaders have wasted three generations trying to fight for Palestine, but the truth is the Palestine you could have had in 1948 is much bigger than the one you could have had in 1967, which in turn is much bigger than what you may have to settle for now or in another 10 years. Struggle means less land and more misery and utter loneliness.

    At the moment, brothers, you would be lucky to secure a semblance of a state in that Gaza Strip into which you have all crowded, and a small part of the West Bank of the Jordan. It isn’t going to get better. Time is running out even for this much land, so here are some facts, figures, and sound advice, friends.

    Read the rest, for dude makes wicked good sense.

  35. Pamela says:

    Hey Pablo, I saw that in the NY Sun and ran it. Ibrahim is a great great Muslim voice like Hirsi Ali, Wafa Sultsn etc.

    These are the voices of Islam the West must support. They are the thin but most promising opportunity the West has to reform Islam.

    Good on ya, Pablo

  36. Kralizec says:

    Ambassador Bolton starts out on the same footing as a blogger, blog commenter, or columnist:  He’s a talker like any of us, he’s not in any more physical danger than we are, and unless he goes native at the UN, there’s no reason for him even to fear shaming by the other ambassadors in the assembly.  That he chooses the UN assembly as his audience leaves me a little in doubt about his good sense, at least at the outset.  Why bother talking to the assembly?  It seems to have become little more than a tool for distracting the U.S. government and the U.S.’s cognitive elite, while the real action is always underway elsewhere.  Really, I myself could have spent these last few minutes writing about something other than the worthlessness of talking to the UN assembly or writing about them.  It’s likely that some snarky fellow commenters will reply to agree with that last point, at least.

  37. Kelvin36 says:

    Well, what happened on January 20th was not some coup, was not the successful conclusion of a war of liberation. ,

Comments are closed.