—That’s exactly what it means. But don’t blame him this time. I told him he could take a weekend to see the great Pacific Northwest and maybe do some hunting. He’s been practicing with a crossbow for the last couple months—not to mention his obsession with First Blood (he plants himself in front of the TV with a bag of Sun Chips and watches it at least twice a day now, and just this Monday I caught him slicing his thigh with a tree branch so that he could stitch up the wound with homemade twine he’d woven out of bindweed)— and I think he’s getting tired of shooting at cutouts of illegals in giant sombreros jumping border fences on specially-trained super burros.
So I gave him a couple hundred bucks, a sleeping bag, three bottles of cheap dark rum, and a bus ticket to Westport.
Hope he bags something nice!
Westport….that’s not in Oregon, is it?
TW: army……cosmic, man
Is it? I don’t know. I just bought him the ticket for wherever it was he wanted to go.
I was elated when I read he was coming West I was going to offer to show him the Disney Concert Hall in downtown Los Angeles and perhaps take him to the Getty Museum. But since he’s going to the stinky NorthWest to bag Mexicans leaping the border from Canada I’m out of luck.
Cute Toddler Story Alert:
My daughter (3.5) has a slinky. She says that it is her armadillo (it does kind of look like one when it’s in an arch). She likes to make it dance.
Which means she’s doing a better job than YOU, bubeleh! But we’ll forgive you.
Well, I’ve got no argument with ‘dillos being covered by the 2nd, but I’m still wondering if we have to treat trolls as lawful combatants under the Geneva Conventions. It seems that this issue has got my boxers all grundled in a knot.
Also, whatever the heck I just typed, I denounce it.
You sure you don’t mean “gruntled?.” Oh, I guess that would be dis-gruntled.
Grundled boxers=grundies.
Don’t get your grundies in a bundle,eh.
oseaghdha–
Well, yes, I’m sure that was part of the calculation, but I’m on beer number nine, so don’t ask me anything too hard, please. I’m typing the best I can.
I was told there would be no math.
Feh. I denounce what you typed, what I’m typing now, and whatever anyone will type after me.
Sean,
My apologies.
Robert,
Can one “Feh” universally and proactively? Because if you cut me in on that feh, it would do me a world of good.
I can’t believe that in this day and age a person of repute would be allowed to publicly dispatch an armadillo with a crossbow to a state (wittingly or not) in which there resides a person with whom s/he has had a suboptimal relation. Just boggles the mind.
More importantly, those vile creatures have notoriously bad eyesight, and are known to be easily distracted by rap music.
Go help out Patterico by saying something mean, rude, vulgar, obscene and tasteless at his blog, and tell him PW sent you:
http://patterico.com/2006/07/13/4865/a-note-on-comments-and-internet-nastiness/#comment-58007
We’re past “denouncing”. We’ve raised the orders of the day to:
“Cross-bow it from orbit….. it’s the only way to be sure.”
(This post will self-destruct in 10 seconds. As you were…That is all.)
Here’s the place where I usually hang out:
http://dailyablution.blogs.com/the_daily_ablution/2006/07/march_of_the_mo.html#comments
Go tell Burgess that I sent you, and that he ought occasionally do something directly relating to the US. Limey bugger.
Well, I think we have to investigate armodillo treatment. My armodillo never got wetin Oregon (although, I have to admit, I was sixteen at the time, and I had a lot of pimples). The good news is that with the help of a lot of Stoli, Socal is definitely the place to put your armodillo.
And as regards Dan’s comments, I just cant type the word cockslap.
TW: Recent developments ….
Raspberry Alarm Clock,
I can still (beer eleven) type the word cockslap for you, should coccasion arise. In fact, just cut and paste it from these comments, or email me with a request for “cockslap” in the subject line, and I’ll send it to you.
Best
Hezbollogic, courtesy dKos:
http://littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/?entry=21553_The_Protocols_of_the_Daily_Kos_Part_3&only
And another thing–why is cockslapping always accomplished via the Goodyear Blimp? Wouldn’t it make more sense to have a Viagra blimp? I’m just asking.
TW: ideas; that’s why they pay me the big bucks for mine
where can i get a super-burro? that just sounds cool!
Dan. You must have missed that memo. there’s a standing order never to get the Blimp anywhere near Viagra. Last time that happened we couldn’t get the sumofbitch in the hanger for a week….
Per LGF, Sandmonkey rant on target:
Now, I for one awaited the Hezbollah surprise, and I have to say I found it rather dissapointing. They hit one f-ckin ship. That’s the surprise? That’s what the Israelis should beware? Hehehe. Dude, they blew up half of Beirut, they destroyed Nasrallah’s home and Office, and he is now hiding like a rat, declaring war on a cellphone since he no longer dares to show his face in public. He declares open war from a hideout and he doesn’t even have the means to have it televized. We are suppsoed to be impressed by this? What are your war capabilities you f-ckhead if in one day you run hiding and can’t even show your face? What is this bullsh-t anyway? And you know the Israelis haven’t even started fighting yet. why is … ahh..nevermind.
And then you read something like Hal’s latest rant and you ponder the arab mentality. We are the only people in the world who talk about dignity and honor when it comes to military conflict, and who will continue fighting losing wars, unprepared and undermilitarized, because of reasons such as “our pride and dignity†and then wonder why the f-ck we lose. I mean, can you imagine if the americans acted the same way? They would never have left Vietnam. They would stay in Iraq forever. You don’t see a single american saying “we should stay in Iraq because our national pride and dignity are wounded by the insurgents attacksâ€Â. Only we would use some half assed justification to keep fighting wars we can’t win, where we keep getting our asses kicked, and some how don’t see the folly in it at all.
And all of this talk about Israel targeting civillians really pisses me off. Let me clear it up for you once and for all: Hamas and Hezbollah don’t have military bases: they plan, operate and attack from homes, where their families are. The Israelis, in order to retaliate, they have to attack those homes, which always lead to those women and children, who live in those houses, to die. If Hamas and Hezbollah don;t want civillians to die, don;t f-ckin plan your attacks or launch your attacks near civillians. But you know they do this on purpose, so it would look bad on the Israeli if they attacked. Dude, they called the airport 1 hour before they hit it to have it evacuated, they warned all of southern Beirut yesterday to take cover because they don’t want to kill them. Not hezbollah. Hezbollah doesn’t give a shit who their missiles hit. And somehow, they remain blameless in the arab mind: after all, they are not jews. Listen, you can not talk shit about how you will beat and destory Israel, and then scream “Humanatarian crisis†when they hit you back. Either suffer the consequences of your actions or SHUT THE F-CK UP. I am sick and tired of your f-ckin POSING!
Sounds about right to me.
you put your kid on a bus armed with only a crossbow??
BBH–
Yeah, I know. I was just being a moron, as usual. Still, if you want to take cockslapping into the land of dirigibles, you’ve got to be prepared to take the heat.
And another thing–
I miss Master Tang. Don’t tell me that the Frischshit drove him away.
Dan, stop giggling. We all know what the result of the current unpleasantness will be. (Hint: can you say six-day war? I knew you could.)
Seriously: all respect to the people on the front lines. Especially those who pay with blood.
Silly: Dan, could you please type the forbidden “c” word for me with respect to Nasralla? Please?
TW: I’m off the drugs, really I am.
The SCOTUS just said the Third Common Article. All we have to do is not take them prisoner.
Maybe the bastards are the Kzinti of the Mideast? Works for me if they are.
I was remembering the Laugh In bit during the Six-Day War: “From Cairo, capital of Israel.”
I think that I’ve met this little ‘tyke’ of yours. My buddies and I were playing a little paintball in the Westport state park today wearing our full regalia when all of a sudden this midget comes stomping through the underbrush piss-drunk singing the Marine fight song. He takes one look at us and starts yelling big butt! big butt! So I turned around to see if the ghillie made my butt look big, and—whammo! He shot me right in the ass with his crossbow! That’s not cool! So we laid down some suppressing paintball fire and he took off running. I figured he was just another one of those midget commandos that the military had set loose in the park to harass the pot growers.
If your kid comes back covered in pink and blue paint, tell him that I’m keeping his crossbow
6Gun, be very careful with the Arrow of Time. Those barbs are sharp if you pick it up backwards.
The kzinti are the Arabs of outer space. Pale imitations, too.
Regards,
Ric
IDF Cockslaps Living Fuck Out of Hezbollah
I had a longer post, but it disappeared.
Dan, I want to have your baby. That is, if you’re male and I’m female. And at least one of those is not true.
TW: What would be the correct <i^position</i> in this case? Would it involve a soundtrack by REO Speedwagon?
GOD DAMN IT, WHAT DO LEFTIES WANT?!
I went to the weekly Studio City counterprotest, determined, I mean DE. TER. MIN. ED to find some common middle ground for dialogue and consensus. I did my research. I read all about Cindey Sheehand and David Duke, and how the Klan marched against the war in Gettysburg on the fourth, and I showed up with signs reading NO WHITE MAN’S WAR and NO BLOOD FOR MUD PEOPLE, and I joined them, man, right in the middle of the intersection.
So what the hell were they so angry about>!
– Actually Dan, I think they’ve only *unzipped*. The heavy armorment cockslapping is yet to come.
Dream WSJ headline for Monday:
“IDF puts Hezbullah dicks in the dirt – 3 remaining Islamic thugs sueing for peace”
Big: I’m sorry, but that’s not graphic enough. Especially in Toronto, where they all put their dicks in the dirt. (His name is Oswald, and he’s not that attractive.)
Mrs. Patton: you’re just not getting it. You have to convince them to put their … Okay, I can’t type the dirt thing.
Oh well. TW: Let’s get physical. And by thde way, Dan, I’m only on beer number ten.
And So Mrs Patton what did we learn from our visit into the hell holes of the swamp fevored Left?
“That Progressives are in despondent mental breakdowns as they watch their long dreamed of Celiphate hero’s being dismantled in real time?”
or
“If that fucking Bush uses’s this to prove he was right all along, I’m moving to Toronto”
or
“I.just.can’t.take.it.anymore…. gasp…. all this defense of the evil Western civilization…. got.to.stop…(rending clothes, and breaking down into manic screams and wailing)
(Sponsored by Laika the Space Dog: Remember Kommrads – 100 years of failure proves nothing! – beaming truthiness to tin hats since 1957)
Hmmm – the inscutible associate instructors website appears to be AWOL.
Did you have anything to do with that?
hehehehehehehehehe
ALLAH AKBAR!
<<<<BOOM>>>>>
know what would end this all quickly?
super-burros!
Casual or psychological, Ric? Or something else. You’re going to have to fill me in.
I’ll be over here, working out a Puppeteer/French analogy…
Okay, if we’re not gonna get any trolls tonight, or any silliness, I’m going to bed. I have to get married next week; so I have to practice.
TW: I lived through the critical events. Good night, good people.
DON’T DO IT ALARM CLOCK!!!!! uh, i mean, um, congratulations and best wishes.
Alarm Clock: Getting married is easy. Staying married takes practice.
alarm clock  Did you get her- or are you in- trouble?
Kids, I just came back to turn off the computer. Love to you all, and thanks. And I am going to bed.
No, Mencken, we’ve already been pregnant. Blighted ovum, and all that.
And Big Bang. thanks. I do need a kick in the butt every once in a while. But. This is the second try. I’ll probably screw it up, just like the first one.
And Maggie: I’m an old man. So anything I screw up is temporary.
You guys are great. I’ll bring her online to meet you as soon as I can.
And aren’t I getting sappy? I mean, there’s a real world out there. Let’s argue about that.
TW: The whole point of ^posting on this blog: everybody here had basic social graces. And now I really am going to bed. Bye.
Dan,
We would be actuses or actii or whatever the plural form of retarded telephone pole is.
TW: respect. Too funny – they want some and deserve none.
where can i get a super-burro? that just sounds cool!
There’s a place in Mountain View, California. I forget its name but I think it’s in a strip mall at Rengstorff and Old Middlefield. It’s like a buffet. They got chicken in verde sauce, or beef in colorado sauce, and I think there’s one other. And then you just tell them to put on whatever you want: beans, cheese, jalapenos, peppers, lettuce, onions, tomatoes—other weird crap I don’t even remember. When they get done the damn thing looks like a tank shell, and…
Oh, wait. You said burro, not burrito. My mistake.
Yes a super-burro does sound cool.
Man, I miss that burrito place.
Please go read Chris Muir’s “Day By Day” RIGHT NOW.
You’ll be glad you did.
I volunteer to take the little guy whale hunting.After all, what are saving them for? Then we’ll have a big bar-b-que and sit around and chew the fat.
But the first missle missed the target and sank an Egyptian merchant ship 37 miles away… no mention of any concern for the “innocent civilians” though.
Hmm.. So that’s why the little fella has been wearing that Arm-A-Dillo T-shirt!
There’s a reason why you can’t reason with Islamofacists.Marxism, Communism and Islam present claims to possess complete world-views that are distinct from and superior to that of our “liberal” Enlightenment. All developed into potent geopolitcal forces that resulted in the need for protracted struggle.
But there is a set of extremely significant distinctions between these 3 threats to the “liberal” world. These distinctions arise from the philosophical foundations of the 3 challenges. Marxism/Communism is a set of assertions about the world and how people should arrange their lives and relationships with each other based on a materialst philosophy that, at least in theory, accepted the rational scientific method as the final arbiter of truth or falsehood. Marxism/Communism made predictions about the material world and, most importantly, promised specific material results in the material world to a broad group of people (the proletariat).
Islam could not be more different. It rejects science as the arbiter of truth and makes no very specific promises to improve the material conditions of life for its adherents. Instead, it projects the reward for submission to Islam in an imaginary afterlife. The truth of this assertion cannot be inspected or tested for accuracy. After 60 years of communism in the Soviet Union, Russians could make a determination that Marxism wasn’t delivering on its promises. But when the reward for adherence to an all-consuming world-view is placed beyond the ability to test or question, real conditions in the world cannot be used as a yardstick to check whether one is being sold a bill of goods.
This difference makes the nature of the protracted struggles faced by the West against these 3 fundamental challenges very different. In many ways, there was a basic premise inherent in the policy of containment taken against the communist world: Wait long enough and the truth of the superiority of liberal societies will become apparent to the world. But a policy of containment against Islamic imperialism cannot hope for such eventual success. Since Islam does not make any ambitious proposal to improve the lot of its followers in the real world, but only in an imaginary afterlife, no amount of waiting can undermine its claim to truth.