Picked up a bottle of Herradura Seleccion Suprema and 2 limes, which I’ve cut into sixteen wedges and placed in an earthen bowl next to some kosher salt and a frosted apéritif glass. I figure if I use my time wisely, I can cram 100 Years of Solitude into three, maybe four hours. From there—a straight shot to the meaning of life.
Wish me luck. Because truth be told, better men than I have tried such shortcuts—the vast majority of whom have ended up trying to fight a bull. And I just don’t have the footspeed to take on a bull these days, even if the beast happens to be as pissed on expensive tequila as I am.
Though on the plus side, should I somehow manage to pull it off, I can sleep in until noon tomorrow and not feel at all guilty about it. So I got that going for me.
Bottom’s Up! Sierra Nevada Pale Ale myself.
tw:since
I don’t have decent liquor except the Goldschlager…
Does Klonopin go well with Tequilla? Personally I’m fond of a good Jack ‘n’ ‘Zac (Jack Daniels and Prozac). As long as the Prozac is imported.
– You still need to garnish the whole process with hand sized fresh baked Taco chips, corn if you prefer, and some Avenunde’ De La Revolutionaire chrome melting Salsa*, to get the full effect.
TW: *Required by Mexican law….
Oh, dear Christ! Hornitos was good enough for my old man, and it’s good enough for you.
Is that thirty-two total? Or is it already too late to count?
The road to hell is paved with good libations.
update: Everything’s so greeeeeen…
The way you’re going to feel tomorrow doesn’t bear thinking about…
It seems you’re not so crafty after all, are you [dramatic musical sting]…NEOCON?
Geez, Jeff, even cold-stone sober a person can’t keep all those Aurelianos straight. Bit with the, uh, liquid enhancements, your punkin’ head is gonna explode.
TW: Of course I read it in the original Spanish.
I think Jeff is just tough enough to hack it tomorrow – sure, he may feel like his tongue has been coated in battery acid, but sometimes that is the kind of sacrifice that must be made for his 5,000,000 + visits.
BTW, Farmer Joe, I am more of a Jameson and Lexapro guy myself. PTSD begone!
Jeff – you are truly one of the most entertaining and gifted writers in blogosphere.
Tomorrow, Jeff is going to feel the way the armadillo has felt on many a Friday.
Which I gather means Jeff isn’t going to dance for us either.
Dance? Fuck it, man. I’m retiring. 95% of my traffic today came from leftwing sites.
Who needs this shit.
Answer: not me.
Maybe Judd Nelson could take over for a while?
Just one minute pal, after all the massive cash transfers into your Amazon Tip Jar – I think you owe me….at least 3 more weeks of wit.
Shhhh, Major. It’s just the Herradura talking. If Jeff retires, the left-wing sites will have won. He’ll be good to go tomorrow or whenever the hangover wears off.
sooooo, like Wednesday….
Tequila? Who needs it whnyooove got thebuuuurban?
*zzzzzzzzzzzzz*
Good night, er, good morning.
(Justifying my poor grammar and spelling just keeps getting easier.)
I second Major John’s comment.
Jeff, look at it this way, this whole blogging thing is theraputic. Otherwise, we’d be forced to settle our differences like two young guys just did the headline of my local paper. One dead, one off to prison. I nominate Jeff for the Nobel Peace Prize. Or I would if I could find the form.
So what I really want to know: “Is a donation to Jeff’s tip jar deductible as a medical expense, or a gift to charity?” Keeping me sane, or world peace? Too many choices.
Clearly, that is NOT the meaning of life. But I’m sure it would set the faculty lounge at Broome Community College abuzz as if it were.
Shoulda mixed a lemon in there. Missed it by that much!
Which just proves 95% of lefties can’t even get out and have fun on a holiday.
Give them the country, there’s a plan.
And Jeff, jut think.
Without blogging, you’d have to do the tequila thing every night.
IT’S BECAUSE OF THE LIVER!!!!
HERESY!!!!! I hope you have a brutal hangover as a punishment for adulterating anejo tequila with lime and salt. That might be a necessity for Cuervo, but you don’t want it with sippin’ tequila.
1. I hope the boozing stuff is mostly a joke. A young man can get away with that for a while, but it does tend to catch up.
2. You don’t need lime with quality tequila. The lime is to make the cheap stuff palatable.
3. I speak from years of experience as to 1 and 2 above.
Yes, perhaps, but please note what we don’t have: the usual incursion of moonbats explaining oh-so-patiently that what we’re complaining about is only a problem for stupid, ignorant, bedwetting red-state chickenhawk [*]phobes and [*]ists, and the really intelligent and compassionate people realize that it’s For the Good of the People and Nation, except of course the above stupid, ignorant etc.
The only possible explanation for the behavior of the Times (NY or LA) is mean-spirited bigotry, especially when the weekend retreat business is factored in, and that’s so pellucid that even the BDS sufferers can see it, whether they admit it publicly or not. They’re coming here desperately searching for some “winger” accusation they can spin into a deflection of the point, and it simply doesn’t exist, because the total combined output of Detroit-Allison and the GE Jet Engine Division couldn’t spin that lump.
Pinch stepped on his dork, and we’re lovin’ it. Enjoy your traffic from Kos and the rest of the delusionists, Jeff. It’s a triumph.
Regards,
Ric
tw: massive loss of face for the Left.
That’s the whole point of drinkin’ the good stuff, you don’t get that “huffin’ gasoline” headache you’d get from drinking that much Cuervo.. Not that I huff gasoline you understand.
Still, drinking anejo from an apéritif glass? How.. nouveau riche. Everybody knows good sippin’ liquor should be served in cheap jelly glasses.
Yeah, I wound up replacing the salt and lime with a worn straw cowboy hat and a belt with a big buckle that converts quickly into a knife.
Still used the apéritif glass, though. Everything else I have is too damn big.
oh, oh, can i borrow it? next show i’m doing is set in the old west. I can see it now…. come see Don Pasquale featuring JEFF GOLDSTEIN’S HAT!!!! I’d pay good money for that.
I think it needs a few more nights of tequila seasoning, Maggie. But after that…
Like most high-dollar booze, expensive tequila reposada has its own special glass. The closest you’re likely to find to it in the U.S. is the so-called “shooter” glass, a narrow vertical tube. (Tequila glasses are slightly larger in diameter.) You need two of them per person.
One glass contains (ahem!) tequila.
The other holds an equal quantity of sangrita. If you don’t care to follow the link for the recipe, get one cup of the spiciest tomato-based salsa you can stand, add one-half cup of good-quality tomato juice and the juice of two (small, hard, Mexican-style) limes, then puree it to liquid in the blender.
Alongside the serving is a small saucer containing lime wedges and large-crystal salt. The drinker adds lime and salt to the sangrita—never to the tequila—according to horsepower and compression ratio.
PROCEDURE DRINK-TEQUILA
BEGIN:
WHILE tequila > 0 DO
Sip tequila.
Sip sangrita.
END WHILE
IF able-to-speak = TRUE THEN
Señor mesero! Uno mas, por favor.
DRINK-TEQUILA.
ELSE
FALL-ON-FLOOR.
END PROCEDURE
In my experience, George Carlin got it right: One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor…
Regards,
Ric
Rats. Left out an END IF.
Never mind. Execution stops at the previous instruction, anyway.
Regards,
Ric
you’ve got three weeks.
That’s pretty basic, Ric.
Compiler?? I hardly knew ‘er! But, you know……
Yeah. Just sort of coboled together.
Regards,
Ric
So I got that going for me.
Which is nice.
That’s the whole point of drinkin’ the good stuff, you don’t get that “huffin’ gasoline†headache you’d get from drinking that much Cuervo..
Trust me, if you drink enough of it, you’ll get a hangover. It’s kind a cool, fuzzy, quasi-mescaline hangover, though.
Not that I’ve ever done mescaline……much.
Is it me, or are the walls breathing?
They are, in fact, breathing.
Craig, what have I told you about walking into the open mounth of a whale?
Regardless.
AN ARGUMENT AGAINST LEFTISM
1. Those who are not right are wrong.
2. Those who are on the left are not right,
Therefore, the Left is wrong