for my wife
If bagels grew on trees, my dear,
I’d pluck you a nice fresh poppy
and onion and smear it with cream-
cheese
and
chives.
But since bagels have never grown
on trees, can I maybe trouble you
to fix me a delicious Spanish omelet —
easy
on the
potatoes?
—Sunday, July 2, 9:33 AM
Ah, the sweet clang of a pan to the side of the head in the early morn.
I would recommend rolling pins, the *thunk* is less likely to wake the youngins’.
“Spanish” omelet, Jeff?
Don’t you mean ”Mexican” omelet?
More specifically ”Illegal” “Mexican” omelet, Jeff?
After all, who cares if a few eggs are broken in the name of “immigration reform”?
Bagels, feh. I know your kind Goldstein.
Apparently I spoke too soon earlier about the retreat of PIATOR over at Pandagon – she’s back in all her venomous glory on the “Chickenhawk” thread.
Her new thing is apparently to refer to everyone in the US as a “coward,” not apparently realizing the irony of this coming from someone tucked away in a sheep station somewhere in New Zealand.
Hey, TomB. Better turn the air conditioner up to 11. You’re hot today!
tw: hell. Honest.
B Moe – noted, we don’t want Satchel to come padding out to the kitchen and ask “Daddy, head boo-boo?”
Master T – I am wondering about the “cowardice” label being slung around over at Pandagon too. I ain’t Audie Murphy – but I do have some evidence of non-cowardice in my favor. I don’t think it is projection necessarily, but they really do think it is a hurtful term to use.
Jeff – go pour yourself a bowl of Cheerios like the rest of us.
Nice poesey.
And it could have been worse, folks…
SB: big
uh huh
Phoeny is now accusing you of being a liar “Major” John. I am done wading in that cesspool. Actually I shouldn’t say that, cesspools serve a useful purpose.
Jeff, you sexist son of a bizatch…
Have some pie Jeff. Pie is actually good for breakfast.
Besides, you’ve gotta play the odds. Someday, we’re all going to go. If there are 12 hours between breakfast and dinner (I eat late, humor me) then I’ve upped the odds by 50% that I won’t miss dessert.
You have as much chance of getting through to PIATOR as you have getting through to a fire hydrant. I’d cut my losses.
is this supposed to look like a little pair of heels? you know, like you’ll make her wear while she makes your omelet? BECAUSE OF THE PATRIARCHY!!!
AGAIN with the Zionist Neocon carbohydrates? Gevalt!
Yeah, I saw that about PIATOR. Very odd. I told her to e-mail at my army.mil address. What the heck is that all about?
I don’t know if I’d go giving her a lot of contact info. You’re just as likely to end up with a shoebox full of dog shit on your doorstep…
I think she’s a sick chicken.
Is PIATOR a she? Its homophobia is off the charts. Was her Daddy a mean old warmongering ass bandit or something?
I don’t know where the notion that PIATOR is female came from. It got floated and she never denied it, and having a pronoun available is useful, so…
She showed up here some time ago with a fairly advanced case of moonbat syndrome—confidently expecting to overawe the rubes with her Clearly Superior Intelligence and Morality. Some of us were a bit rude, I’m afraid, but the end came shortly after several posters began mocking her remarkably obtuse and verbose screen handle.
Just the handle tells a lot. PIATOR encountered the notion that the U.S. is imperialist (=Roman) early enough that it got embedded in her firmware, unbudgeable. (Of course the reality is that, to the extent that the comparison works at all, we Americans are the Phoenicians in the present setup—influence based mainly on trade and economic power, with de facto cultural hegemony coming along as a natural consequence.) Call her a Gallowayan (“the fall of the Soviet Union was the worst day of my life.”) There are a lot of Leftists in the world who operate from the same set of assumptions. Check out the comments at Harry’s Place some time.
New Zealanders specifically—hmm. I’ve met a number of New Zealanders, and although many have been pleasant or even likeable people, all of them have a rather odd set of attitudes that might be summarized as “insular.” Despite the continual exchange they have less in common with Australians than we do, attitude wise. One very important event in Kiwi history was the “nuclear free zone” declaration. They clearly expected the U.S. to get hot under the collar, then conduct elaborate negotiations leading up to the French Solution, i.e. lie about it, which would let them keep the economic advantages and assume moral superiority. When the U.S. just shrugged, left, and found accommodation elsewhere it was an insult New Zealand may never be able to forgive.
Maybe I should go over there. I was one of the ones best at getting her sputtering, as I recall.
Regards,
Ric
And Jeff… don’t forget to get it with plenty of Green Chile. I mean really….
TW: It gives you strength
paging phone technician, phone technician in a time of roaming please pick up a white courtesy phone
That was one of the funniest threads in blogging history.
Major John, I wouldn’t give PIATOR anything. He/she has a terminal case of anti-Americanism, and shrugs off any fact that faild to fit into his/her worldview…..which is pretty damned narrow, BTW.
Indeed, PIATOR fits the description of a leftist/marxist to a “t”. Although, I must admit, Ric Locke once described PIATOR quite well, on an earlier PW thread.
TW: As far as I’m concerned, PIATOR is a
book.
A few more posts and I’ll be on my way to the upper floors of the the NY Times baby!
Who’s Walter Duranty anyway?
TomB,
A word of advice. Don’t take any stock options.
And now I have something to ex-PIATOR,
A pettiness.
Huh. Well, I just was trying to pin down why I was a “lair” to PIATOR. When I see “Major” in quotes, I assumed it was about my rank(?) I have no idea why such an easily confirmed thing should be disputed. Cripes, if I make LTC in the summer of 2008, I guess her head would explode…I could link to the message from DoA then, heh.
It’s not like I am some General Officer, or claiming I have a CMoH or something. Jeez, I am just a 40 year old field grade officer who has been a few places – its not like I am (the late) COL Hackworth or Audie Murphy.
Relax, Major, and go with the flow.
PiatoR is a typical isolated Leftist. To the extent that she has any knowledge whatever about the military it’s a stereotype that was obsolescent sometime around 1700 or so: haakka pa’alle! It says nothing whatever about you.
Her definition of “liar” is synonymous with “fascist”, “homophobe”, “racist”, and others. It means “disagrees with me.” That’s pretty much what the Left has got to anyway, but PiatoR’s pretty extreme. You should be complimented, sort of.
Regards,
Ric
tw: that analysis is somewhat simplified, but it’ll do for planning purposes.
Major John – I have to second those who urged you not to hand any more info than necessary over to PIATOR. There is a seriously creepy vibe coming off that one, coupled with a lot of venom toward anyone and anything American.
Didn’t she get banned from here for anti-Semitic comments? I may be mistaken, as there were a couple of commenters at the time from Australia, it seems, of the skinhead persuasion, and I could be getting them muddled up.
Ric – not for me to say, but if you did head over there after the Major and Verc, that whole website would go into full core meltdown. Reason ain’t a familiar companion to that bunch.
Master Tang is the Master of Understatement!
Master Tang,
I’ve checked over there occasionally, but apparently the thread Verc and Major John were commenting on has aged past the fold. Is it still going on?
I don’t particularly feel the need to defend Vercingetorix—he’s a big boy and can take care of himself, and Marcus Tullus was more my kind of guy anyway—and the rest of the threads are either about nothing at all but mutual self-congratulation, or about things that I would support if their boosters weren’t making my teeth grind. One reason I don’t blog is that I’m not good at originality; I need to play off somebody else, and nobody there’s Gracieful in any way.
I’ll still check occasionally.
Regards,
Ric
Jeff – Tang compares himself not to the Buddha, only to the wall.
Ric – your assessment of things seems accurate. I think you’re selling yourself short in the whole blogging department, however; like the Major, I think you’d be a natural at it. Plus, think of the numerous road-to-Damascus experiences you could bring about for the likes of PIATOR and company through the blog medium!
Major John  I understand New Zealanders make excellent appliqué armor, being naturally dense. Maybe you can strap one across the grill of your Humvee if you ever redeploy…
Tang,
In the spirit of experiment, I left a couple of comments at Pandagon.
“Your comment is awaiting moderation.” I’ll check back tomorrow.
These people are the smart party? Wal ah be diyupped. I suppose the competition to believe X number of impossible and/or self-contradictory things before breakfast does require a bit of raw processing power, but tell me, O sage: does that path lead to Enlightenment?
Regards,
Ric
UP
Jack Goff and I figured each other’s positions out amicably (he and the Gaul are still duking it out, however).
I like New Zealanders! I got to help out the New Zealand National Support Element at Bargram (they were backing up their bunch in Bamyan province and their Special Forces – who used really go out and kick serious hiney). They were damned good soldiers, and excellent people. Those I met in college tended to be very nice, modest and smart folks. They also could whip your butt on the rugby pitch, and still manage to say something nice about you after the match.
Major John,
PiaToR is easily confused if you wander too far from the Euroleft psaltery. Good to hear you got it cleared up.
I’m glad to know there are likeable Kiwis. I had suspected as much—building a whole country out of the, ah, people I’ve met would be damned near impossible, I think. But, then, they were all expats, which may explain it.
Regards,
Ric
but tell me, O sage: does that path lead to Enlightenment?
Ric, my take on it would be, if you meet the Pandagon on the road….
suddenly recall a previous appointment and make one’s way there with haste. The dao does not wend its way through their sangha.
Was this, erm, “inspired” by this poem?
Tang,
Alas, I have been tempted from the Way. Satori remains elusive…
Fun so far, though. I rather expect my attitude toward (attempted) insult to be sorely tested in the near future, which is as it should be.
Regards,
Ric
Well then…Don’t quit your day job.
what the fuck you racist bastard fuk off pendejo!!! im mexican and Pround of it! you bitch~