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BREAKING:  IT TURNS OUT ROVE WAS INDEED INDICTED – IT’S JUST THAT FITZGERALD WON’T TELL ANYONE, WHICH ALLOWS THAT LYING LUSKIN LIAR TO RUN AROUND TELLING LIES.  BUT TRUST US, DICK CHENEY IS, LIKE, SO TOTALLY SCREWED.  SERIOUSLY.  AS IN, SOON KERRY SPOKESMAN DAVID WADE WILL BE TALKING ABOUT CHENEY GETTING CORNHOLED IN PRISON – THAT’S HOW SCREWED HE IS

*must credit protein wisdom*

Not to get too far out in front of the news cycle here, but it appears TruthOut has been fully exonerated with respect to its earlier Rove reportage, and that Marc Ash, Jason Leopold, and their unnamed sources in federal law enforcement and government are actually heroes—albeit heroes who have been victimized by their own heroism in such a way that it appears that they’ve made total asses of themselves.  But only to those not in the know.

Of course, I suppose I should mention, for purposes of full disclosure, that it is TruthOut who has exonerated itself—citing the accuracy of its own earlier reporting as proof that its earlier reporting was, in fact, completely accurate.  But then, that’s just nitpicking, really—and we shouldn’t get hung up on the niceties of the reasoning when what is at stake here is speaking Truthiness to Power, namely, the now-confirmed (albeit not yet quite “confirmed” confirmed) revelations that Karl Rove is a fat-assed liar who drove his own mother to suicide and who flipped on Dick Cheney.

And when the world sees Evil Dick with a pair of teardrop tats lifting weights in a federal pen alongside those Enron bitches, Jason Leopold will laugh and laugh and laugh

Developing…

(h/t Mark Coffey)

****

update:  Not surprisingly, Tom Maguire has more—including some evidence debunking the “sealed vs sealed” red herring to which TruthOut continues to cling like DiCaprio to that Winslett-bedecked flotsam at the tail end of Titanic.

70 Replies to “BREAKING:  IT TURNS OUT ROVE WAS INDEED INDICTED – IT’S JUST THAT FITZGERALD WON’T TELL ANYONE, WHICH ALLOWS THAT LYING LUSKIN LIAR TO RUN AROUND TELLING LIES.  BUT TRUST US, DICK CHENEY IS, LIKE, SO TOTALLY SCREWED.  SERIOUSLY.  AS IN, SOON KERRY SPOKESMAN DAVID WADE WILL BE TALKING ABOUT CHENEY GETTING CORNHOLED IN PRISON – THAT’S HOW SCREWED HE IS”

  1. Robb Allen says:

    You know, you have to give credit where credit is due.

    When Micah Wright was called to the carpet, he admitted it. Eventually.

  2. MarkD says:

    In the cell next to Bush, who will surely be impeached once the truth of the Rathergate memo is acknowledged and Bush is hauled up on UA charges by the TANG.

    Because they wish it to be so.  And they crossed their fingers and tapped the heels of their slippers three times.  They were all good little boys and girls.  And they care so much.

  3. JD says:

    truthout has to have been hijacked by some of Rove’s minions.  There is absolutely no way that they could intentionally be so obtuse and tone deaf.

  4. Rob B. says:

    Rove: The most they would do is put us for a few months into a white-collar, minimum-security resort! You know, they have conjugal visits there?

    Bush: They do?

    Dick Cheney: Shit. I’m a free man and I haven’t had a conjugal visit in six months.

    For some reason the thought of those three going off on a printer with a baseball bat, while the Ghetto Boys blast on the soundtrack, is always amusing. The fact that the Kos-sacks would call that a “hate crime on printers”, or some such, makes it even better.

  5. There is absolutely no way that they could intentionally be so obtuse and tone deaf.

    Dunno. Could be run by the same type of people who maintain “socialism’s never really been tried”.

  6. MayBee says:

    They didn’t just report the truth, they altered the eventuality of it:

    From all indications, our reports, first on May 13 that Rove had been indicted, and then on June 12 when we published case number “06 cr 128,” forced Rove and Luskin back to the table with Fitzgerald, not once but twice. They apparently sought to avoid public disclosure and were prepared to do what they had to do to avoid it.

    So you see, they weren’t ahead of the news cycle so much as they had climbed aboard the news cycle, and were peddling it to pleabargain-land.

  7. David R. Block says:

    I thought that the default setting for the left was obtuse.

    Look at all of the trolls around here.

  8. G. Bob says:

    You know, I feel like I should donate just because of the entertainment value the comments section gave me.  The juicy truthiness of their power has made my nipples all aquiver.

  9. mojo says:

    Hey, looks like sometimes the gap between the “tragedy” instance and the “farce” instance is, y’know, really short.

    Don’t know if it’s fat-assed or not. Must investigate! Truf ta POWAH, mano!

    SB: couldnt

    find their butts with both hands

  10. Good Lt says:

    Anybody read the comments at (truth)out?

    They’ve got a cabal of mouthbreathers praising Ash and Leopold for their bravery, their patience, their credibility, their completely fabricated stories, their unimpeachable sources, as well as lashing out at the most benign requests for more candid reporting. 

    Good for a chuckle and an empathetic sigh of pity, should you need some guttural belly-laughs.

    tw: Clinical, as in clinical insanity.

    PS – Isn’t the phrase “truthout” a textbook example of Orwellian newspeak?

  11. If they had only taken my advice on eating paste.

  12. McGehee says:

    Hey, looks like sometimes the gap between the “tragedy” instance and the “farce” instance is, y’know, really short.

    So where does the PW, Iowahawk or Scrappleface satire fit in there? Seems to me lately, those actually come first. And then the lefties read it and say to themselves, “Hey, that sounds cool! Let’s do it!”

    And their commenters all say, “Jinkies,” and “Zoinks,” and away they go, blithely ignoring the still, small voice that utters, “Ruh-roh.”

  13. runninrebel says:

    The Empire is falling! It is only a matter of time before every single Rethuglican has been implicated in this diabolical front to . . . to . . . say things before a grand jury that contradict reporters’ testimony.

    The left is just so clingy. I want to break-up.

  14. Good Lt says:

    Here’s a juicy one from a (truth)out commentor called “eyeswideopen:”

    Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinions of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth.

    Simply delectable. Pleas for sanity are met with plunges into the abyss.

    I hope this continues all year. Fitzmas just keeps on giving.

  15. BumperStickerist says:

    TruthOut may use the pliability of language and come back with a clarification that by ‘indicted’ they meant ‘exonerated’.

    Jeff would be TruthOut’s biggest ally.

    And by ‘ally’ I mean ‘enemy’.

    ….

  16. a4g says:

    What Bush & Co. don’t realise is that the super secret indictment was followed by a super secret trial and a super secret verdict & sentence, known by less than half a dozen insiders.

    Guess what, Rove?  All the guards and fencing surrounding the White House are there to keep you in; you’re only permitted to leave and give press interviews to maintain the absolute airtight cover for the program.

    That Secret Service detail?  THEY ARE YOUR JAILERS!

    Man, justice is sweet.

    TW: pay.  Yeah, man.  The piper is a bitch.

  17. ahem says:

    “We have examined ourselves and find that we are perfectly blameless.”

    tw: stop. Stop, you’re killing me.

  18. Patrick Chester says:

    Does anyone get the feeling that Rove’s spent the last few years pretty much doing nothing and letting the moonbats do his work for him?

  19. Rich in Martigues says:

    Why, why, WHY do they never just use Occam’s razor?

    OK… it is much more entertaining to wath them squirm, but only for so long.  Then it just becomes tedious.  Someone, please, more lighter fluid, they aren’t screaming as loud anymore….

  20. Sweetie says:

    Reading that truthout entry I kept checking the address box – surely this has to be a spoof!  And now they’ve got their readers googling “06 cr 128” like they’re cast members of Lost in order to find the secret behind this string of numbers/letters.  I knew Karl was evil.  But who knew he was capable of twisting so many minds into pretzels. 

    Mmmm pretzels.

  21. dario says:

    Is anyone suprised this morphed in to a fake but accurate story? 

    This was linked in a small blurb from Instapundit a couple of days ago, I’m not sure if many have read it.  http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/06/16/AR2006061601754.html

    This is the stuff I found interesting…

    Leopold says he gets the same rush from breaking a news story that he did from snorting cocaine. To get coke, he lied, cheated and stole. To get his scoops, he has done much the same. As long as it isn’t illegal, he told me, he’ll do whatever it takes to get a story, especially to nail a corrupt politician or businessman. “A scoop is a scoop,” he trumpets in his memoir. “Other journalists all whine about ethics, but that’s a load of crap.”

    I disagree, but I felt some sympathy for the affable, seemingly vulnerable 36-year-old. Before we parted, I told him a bit about myself—that I freelance for numerous newspapers, including the Sunday Times of London. His publicist had earlier given him my cellphone number.

    Three days later, Leopold’s Rove story appeared. I wrote him a congratulatory e-mail, wondering how long it would be before the establishment media caught up.

    But by Monday there was no announcement. No one else published the story. The blogosphere went wild. Leopold said on the radio that he would out his unnamed sources if it turned out that they were wrong or had misled him. I trawled the Internet looking for a clue to the truth. I found a blog called Talk Left, run by Jeralyn Merritt, a Colorado defense lawyer.

    Merritt had called Mark Corallo, a former Justice Department spokesman who is now privately employed by Rove. She reported that Corallo said he had “never spoken with someone identifying himself as ‘Jason Leopold.’ He did have conversations Saturday and Sunday . . . but the caller identified himself as Joel something or other from the Londay [sic] Sunday Times. . . . At one point . . . he offered to call Joel back, and was given a cell phone number that began with 917. When he called the number back, it turned out not to be a number for Joel.”

    A chill went down my back. I freelance for the Sunday Times. My first name is often mistaken for Joel. My cellphone number starts with area code 917.

  22. Master Tang says:

    I wonder if we’re going to see the Left engulfed in some type of wide-spread trauma – this whole Fitzmas business reminds me somehow of the alienation and psychic collapse that afflicted a lot of Plains Indian nations after the Ghost Dance movement went south in a major way in 1890.  To have invested so energy and emotion in a house of cards, whose collapse only underscores for you how apparent its absurdity was from the outset….

    Boom times for the mental health industry, I guess.

  23. Sean M. says:

    You’d think that, after a while, watching somebody repeatedly shooting themselves in the foot would become distasteful and uncomfortable.

    You’d be wrong.

  24. Major John says:

    Some of those commenters have to be subtle trolls – but it is quite difficult to know who is simply egging them on and who really means it. Ow.

  25. topsecretk9 says:

    Fitzmas just keeps on giving.

    I think the funniest part is the fights that these TOut postings cause amongst the left. Tis quite gratifying.

  26. Brian says:

    This Leopold/TruthOut story reveals a side of the blogosphere that’s turning me away from it altogether.  While it’s a bit fun, in a perverse-waste-of-time way, to get into a blogfight with Metacomments’ commentariat, or watch the Rove “indictment” story blow up in Leopold’s face, the blogosphere, operating under no rules per se, displaces reason in favor of pretzel logic and rationalization.

    I think the political Right is on the “right” side of the blogs in terms of making valid arguments (i.e. RatherGate, Haditha, GWOT, Yale Taliban), but this leaves a sizeable bloc of citizens and political agitators using the blog medium to support line after line, post after post, of pure bullshit.  It allows complete frauds, backed by communities of sycophants, to masquerade as journalists pushing nonsense as fact.  And when they get busted, they still claim their righteousness.

    The blogosphere needs a ruling body if it’s going to succeed.  Until then it’s fucking anarchy.

  27. I can see your point, Brian, and it’s undoubtedly frustrating to think of so many people’s not clicking sourcing links and – on both sides – accepting “arguments,” however lame and unsupported, at face value, but the cure you propose is worse than the disease, ISTM. What would this ruling body do? Sit in judgment on the reliability of sources? How would it determine which sources were reliable, which loony? Or maybe sit in judgment on the value or clarity of analyses? How would it “grade” them?

    TW: I think anarchy is a better deal, and I’d typed that sentence before scrolling down to see my TW – how on earth does this thing do that?

  28. ed says:

    Hmmm.

    *Must credit “ed”*

    Speaking metaphorically the local deli here has a Cobb salad and turkey wrap combination that could only be described as “delicious”.  Now if they would only stock Polish stone ground mustard, then Heaven truly would appear on Earth.

    Now *that’s* truth baby.

  29. Karl says:

    I like that TruthOut is simultaneously asserting the Plame investigation is apolitical and that TruthOut was used by a career federal law enforcement official to pressure Rove into cooperating.

  30. Brian, remember not to ask for nor assume any power that you wouldn’t want your opponents to eventually wield.  The last thing I want is someone deciding what I need to hear, not that explicit prohibitions in the US Constitution against restricting free speech cary much weight these days.

    Turing Word: next, as in, just let me out at the next exit, please.

  31. kyle says:

    You’d think that, after a while, watching somebody repeatedly shooting themselves in the foot would become distasteful and uncomfortable.

    I think their foot is largely gone, and they are now shooting a bloody, gangrenous stump.

  32. Sticky B says:

    So wait a minute, I’m confused. Is Rove on Double Secret Probation or is it Cheney? Or are both of them on DSP? If Cheney gets the pen do they put him in solitary? Otherwise a bunch of pimpdaddies gonna be walkin’ crooked an shit.

    I have to second the comments about the posters over there at T/O. Crazy mafuks. It’s like watching a bunch of Anthony Hopkins’ from Silence of the Lambs over there.

  33. Citizen Deux says:

    Sweet sassey molassey!  I reported on the truth before I reported on the phallacy of the truth…

    Trivia question –

    “You provide the pictures I’ll provide the war!”

    said by whom?

  34. Gekkobear says:

    I went and read the Truthout article, and I have one word to say… Amateurs.

    No “Zionist Cabal” behind the plotting, no mind control from Rove himself, they even left out the concept that Cheney deliberately had the (false) Indictment leaked to be able to discredit Truthout, no “he wasn’t indicted, but by the evidence he should have been” (i.e. false but accurate); disappointing really that they left out so many options.

    I prefer my loony-tunes leftists to be able to create a comprehensive, and yet imaginitive plot utilizing most if not all of the standard plot devices of the day.

    Extra credit if they could have gotten Iraq and/or Global Warming tied in; but that’s just wishful thinking I suppose.

  35. shank says:

    Lefty for Speakers of Other Languages (LSOL).  Lesson #3:

    “We found out something we weren’t supposed to find out.”

    Translation: “We kind of made something up that, it turns out, we couldn’t actually prove to be true; so we’re going to shroud it in conspiracy theories for the sake convenience.”

    Since it seems Fodor’s hasn’t gotten around to it, I think I’ll start drafting a guide to the Lefty Universe that includes all the neccesary translations; but also comes complete with top restraunts, attractions, and social tips.

    TW:  Human.  I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!

  36. MarkD says:

    Maybe Rove threatened Fitz with Ann Coulter.

  37. Brian says:

    Jamie and Charles,

    Your points are taken re an oversight body; I’m thinking aloud, mostly.  The newspapers have governing bodies within their organizations, yet the quality of their coverage is often as suspect as what’s on the blogs.

    But the sheer volume of trash out there is amazing.  Do you ever shake your head at the insanity of what you’re reading??  These are adults running these blogs.  Intelligent adults.  Educated, intelligent adults.  But their writings give me the impression that an intellignetsia somewhere went mad and is blogging from an asylum.  Once-bright people with now burned-out synapses, playing a game of conspiracy-oneupsmanship fueled by a witch’s brew of prescription medication.  And it’s all over the place.

  38. Mikey NTH says:

    William Randolph Hearst to an artist in Cuba complaining that nothing was going on.

    A little later there was the Span-Am War.

  39. Why, why, WHY do they never just use Occam’s razor?

    I’d settle for them using Dial soap and Secret anti-persperant.

  40. American Son says:

    – So then is Merritt, Leopold, and Ashe the “new” three stoges of thier generation in the blogosphere?

    – And if there’s top be an impeachment of Rove, why havn’t we seen some news along those lines, because, I mean Dayum, but this is intriguing, a real scoop on the order of say, fingers in Wendy’s chili, or Benny Hill on steroids.

    – I heard a rumor that John Klease is ghost writing for them, so I’m naturally waiting for some big feet with heads rolling out of them, or some sign of the “funny walkers club” to make its appearence.

    – Personally I think we should all do our parts to urge them on. (Dead parrots shop would be nice, or some out-takes of the knights that say Ni’, surrounded by crusades shrubbery).

  41. SeanH says:

    Does anyone get the feeling that Rove’s spent the last few years pretty much doing nothing and letting the moonbats do his work for him?

    I’ve had that feeling for a while now.  I think by now he just shows up occasionally to sneer into the cameras and keep the left riled up.  Then he picks up some Sam Adams and hangs out in the White House playing Madden.

  42. But the sheer volume of trash out there is amazing.  Do you ever shake your head at the insanity of what you’re reading??  These are adults running these blogs.  Intelligent adults.  Educated, intelligent adults.  But their writings give me the impression that an intellignetsia somewhere went mad and is blogging from an asylum.  Once-bright people with now burned-out synapses, playing a game of conspiracy-oneupsmanship fueled by a witch’s brew of prescription medication.  And it’s all over the place.

    When I was a kid, there were sections of some classes dedicated to picking out logical fallacies, propaganda techniques, etc.

    A hell of a lot of people either didn’t learn any of that, they forgot it, or they just don’t care and are basking in the attention they’re getting.

    The scariest possibility is that some of the lunacy is being purposefully created and supported. Most likely, though, it’s just the echo-chamber effect.

  43. McGehee says:

    Simply delectable. Pleas for sanity are met with plunges into the abyss.

    “There goes our last female.”

    [/possibly obscure movie reference]

  44. American Son says:

    Pleas for sanity

    – Then I take it this means the Cubs won’t win the World series this season?

  45. dario says:

    McGehee,

    I suspect anyone with children under 10 know what you’re talking about.

    The second movie was also quite good.

  46. Phinn says:

    You know the Left has gone absolutely bug-fucking-nuts when the folks at Counterpunch say this about the Rove non-indictment story by Messrs. Ash and Leopold:

    Rarely has a story been more swiftly and conclusively undercut. … They’re loonies, beyond any sanction or reproof by reality. These people are going to stop a war, change the direction of our politics? They make Barbra Streisand sound like Che Guevara.

    When Counterpunch calls you a crazy, half-baked journalist, that’s really saying something.

  47. Robb Allen says:

    Do you ever shake your head at the insanity of what you’re reading??

    No. I just go somewhere else. Like here.

  48. The real Karl Rove died in a car crash in 1966.  His girlfriend at the time had been indicted and he was on his way to testify when the accident occurred. 

    Seriously man, listen to Bush’s speeches…that line about private retirement accounts.. Karl won’t be around to collect retirement…Karl would have been indicted if he was still alive, the fake Karl couldn’t be….man this is some good shit…

  49. Major John says:

    Secret anti-persperant

    Secret?!  SECRET???!!! You would like that, “Mr. Smart Dust in the Secret stuff they are supposed to use.”

    I’m on to you.

    Hey, anyone seen my lithium around here?

  50. LagunaDave says:

    The greatest thing about Truthout is their timing.  Whenever they cook up some new contortionist version of the story to explain why they were right when all evidence shows them to be wrong, there is usually some new development in the story almost immediately which: a) adds to the already overwhelming evidence that they were wrong from the beginning, and b) undercuts their most recently spun attempt at obfuscation.

    So I figure Fitzgerald will probably drop the Libby indictment in the next 48 hours.

    *MUST CREDIT LAGUNADAVE*

  51. Brian, I consider it a form of natural selection.  It ain’t pretty or even fair in the short term, but over the long haul it will work out.

    Turing Word: perform, as in, the Angry Left has made the personal political and the political perform-ance art

  52. And anytime the Angry Left wants to deny that their ideology isn’t overtly religious in theory and excruciatingly dogmatic in practice, just remember that…

    Turing Word; faith, as in, “I’ve got to have faith-a-faith-a-faith” seems to be the moonbat mantra these days.

  53. Jay says:

    My deepest, most secret hope is that it’s some commenter on this blog who’s jerking them around.

    I hope that LagunaDave, ed, MayBee, charles austin, even Major John is sending them emails “Look, I really work for Fitz.  The indictment is just about to be announced.  Really!”

    I would feel like I was a part of something truly worthwhile.

  54. Brian says:

    I just go somewhere else. Like here.

    Ditto.  For me, PW and All Things Beautiful are oases in the dry, dreary, overly heated blogosphere.

  55. Slartibartfast says:

    Charles, I so did not need that George Michael flashback.

  56. tim maguire says:

    After reading about the two no longer missing soldiers, suddenly, oddly, I could really give a flying fuck about Jason Leopold and Truthout and their ego stroking of the left.

    tw: care

  57. McGehee says:

    The second movie was also quite good.

    Haven’t seen it yet, but I plan to.

    Uh… kids?

  58. mojo says:

    “You provide the pictures I’ll provide the war!”

    W.R. Hearst, on the occasion of the blowing up of the USS Maine in Havana harbor.

  59. mojo says:

    And I believe it was actually “prose pictures”, as he was speaking to a reporter.

    SB: southern

    neighbors

  60. N. O'Brain says:

    Secret anti-persperant

    Do you need a security clearance to use it?

  61. Sorry about that, Slartibartfast, but don’t hate him because he’s beautiful.  Hmm…, to be safe I suppose the Boy George snippets are right out now as well.

    Turing Word: french, as in, Mr. French will be picking up Cissy, Buffy and Jody at the train station in today’s episode of l’Affaire Famile. Hey, this is about as relevant as any of the troll commentary above.

  62. Major John says:

    My deepest, most secret hope is that it’s some commenter on this blog who’s jerking them around.

    Jay, I restrict my conspiracy fueling to the Defense side of the house.  That way I can use my .mil e-mail and make it seem more authentic.  Heh, as they say.  Indeed.

  63. JohnAnnArbor says:

    You know what’s next, don’t you?  Some group of lefties will sue “Truthout” for “emotional distress” for getting their hopes up, only to see them dashed by the unforgiving forces of reality.

  64. McGehee says:

    You know what’s next, don’t you?  Some group of lefties will sue “Truthout” for “emotional distress” for getting their hopes up, only to see them dashed by the unforgiving forces of reality.

    But first they’ll try suing reality.

    TW: Reality has much deeper pockets

  65. Ric Locke says:

    Heh. Today’s newspapers and “media” grew basically from two sources. One of them was the one they like to admit: “journalists”, people who basically kept a diary of what they’d seen and observed, then sent it (for money) to somebody far away. Sort of a cross between a spy and an attache at an embassy. In the days when communications over long distances were by ship, horseback, and foot traffic, they served the vital function of keeping people informed about what was going on far away.

    The other, and the real basis for today’s press, was the pamphleteers. When movable type was invented, it was more or less the equivalent of having a T1 line today—there were lots of people who could afford it, especially if they were to give up normal life to save the money. So lots of presses existed, and people would write up screeds and essays on all sorts of things, especially politics, then distribute them for free on the streets. They were mostly scurrilous, badly reasoned and researched, defamatory, hysterical, mystic, or some combination of all of the above.

    Jeff is a pamphleteer, twenty-first century type. So are TruthOut, Kos, MoveOn, etc. etc. etc. It’s cheaper and faster, and so there’s more of it.

    The pamphleteers grew up to be the New York Times. What will the blogs grow up to be?

    Regards,

    Ric

  66. Phone Technician in a Time of Roaming says:

    There is still hope! When they originally said “24 hours” and then “24 business hours” they really meant “24 business fortnights!”

  67. wishbone says:

    I think by now he just shows up occasionally to sneer into the cameras and keep the left riled up.  Then he picks up some Sam Adams and hangs out in the White House playing Madden.

    That was Diet Coke out the nose funny, Sean.

  68. Master Tang says:

    I figured Rove would be more of a World of Warcraft kind of dude, but YMMV.

  69. Alexander Alt says:

    I am reading this and cannot understand what is happening.

    Was Rove indicted? Was Fitzgerald neutered? Is Karl Rove the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby?

    WHAT THE FUGG IS HAPPENING?

    I am so confused. Lord, give me a stiff drink and let me not see Nancy Pelosi when she is sober.

  70. Master Tang says:

    Personally, I wouldn’t want to see Pelosi when I’m sober.

    That’s why they call it “dutch courage,” I figure.

Comments are closed.