To help me out, I solicited the aid of noted astrologer Michael Thiessen, who advises me (well, me and everybody else born between Jan 21 and February 19) not to let my emotions get out of hand. “Believe in yourself,” he tells me/us, “and so will those who count. Enjoy a quiet dinner for two and discuss some of the plans you have for the future.”
Using this advice, I loaded up on Applebee’s shares—though it’s quite possible, now that I think more about it, that Theissen was telling me to dump my Hooter’s stock. Confound the ambiguity!
Anyway, bottom line for those of you thinking about pursuing this method of stock analysis? The stars are not an easy read. In fact, they’re kinda like Thomas Pynchon that way—only without the gratuitous sex.
Developing…
I liked the way Armstrong presented his venture into astrology as an outlet for his mad math skillz and not because he actually believed in the stuff.
Very nice.
Yeah, but what about Quaoar?
And that new red spot on Jupiter can’t be good. I blame global warming.
Wonder if Lo Ping Wong also didn’t realize I can delete his comments at will…
Lots of folks (read: idiots) believe in astrology.
Me, I’m still waiting for a plausible mechanism of influence to be expounded. Gravity? Light? “Vibes”?…
Throw me a bone here, people.
SB: military
manner
No, no, no. Keep Hooters, dump Applebee.
Because of the wings. Honest.
I have a monkey named Burton who picks my stocks by throwing darts at a Wall Street Journal page I have tacked to the wall.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light, Lo Ping!
Your son is going to grow up to be a cockslapping faggot just like you Jeff.
Gonna let that one stay up. Just to let people know exactly the kind of person you are.
I once spent three days reading and rereading the first 50 pages of Gravity’s Rainbow trying to understand whatever it was Pynchon was trying to say. For me, at least, the theoretical underpinnings of partial differential equations is easier to comprehend, but YMMV.
Turing Word: read, as in, trying to read Thomas Pynchon is anything but fun, it’s mental.
Is, are, whatever.
Turing Word: feeling, as in, feelings, Lo, Lo, Lo feelings, Lo, Lo, Lo, feelings, feelings of hate.
Who said he was done with snakeoil?
Charles:
what’s so hard to understand? he’s good at making banana waffles and there’s a blob that likes to snort cocaine.
…yeah I never made it past the first fifty pages either.
…BUT I’ve only had the book for like eight years now. I’m pretty sure it’ll get easier.
You know, Jeff, at least your son is going to grow up, unlike Lo apparently. Presumably, Lo is now precluded from using any Seinfeld lines from this point forward.
Turing Word: english
WHoa..LO?
Way to demonstrate the left’s excellent debating skills!
Of course, if I ever do understand Pynchon, I can’t help but think that you may have helped, Jeff- semiotic and ontological dissertations and all.
There you go: Protein Wisdom- the paste-eaters stepping stone to Pynchon.
So what’s the point of Pynchon then? I could strain my brain with that stuff, or stay here and feel the love. Of course, it feels like a sort of dirty love – not that there’s anything wrong with that.
I suppose dirty love is copyright Frank Zappa, but I’ve got to alphabetize my CDs before I can confirm that.
Lo Pe wang
Then what is it really that makes your sorry ass keep coming back?
Lo is feeling the love, too.
The “plans for the future” part seems like a direction to buy DayTimer stock or something. Franklin Planner, maybe.
Oh, and WTF? Did Lo Ping Wong’s meds run out on him or something?
Thanks for that link Jeff. I am still trying to figure out what to do with these USG shares. Nothing like a little starry wisdom to help! A.G. Edwards, pah!
BTW – I am glad you dealt with Mr. Lo – seems you were able to not hissy fit yourself to death in the process. A pity more don’t react with a bit more class like you have. I guess I expect too much out of the ol’ internets.
The Jeff Goldstein Townhouse talking points have gotten kinda NAMBLA lately.
tach: You would know.
Jeff, if you really want to unload your Hooter’s stock, I’ll be happy to take it off you…
Has anyone considered that Lo Ping Wong is actus in disguise? I mean, hasn’t actus been acting kind of snappier than ususal? Maybe some of this observations Jeff made have gotten to actus and he wanted to freak out, but didn’t want to appear to lose his cool. So he assumed this Lo Ping Wong persona to launch his attack.
I mean, didn’t Jeff call him out as some sort of contrarian posser?
Lo Ping Wong is a fixture on many of the lefty hit sites. I doubt very much actus would say some of the things LPW says routinely.
I love astrology.
It doesn’t have the raw, spine-chilling payoff of the Spanish Prisoner (“Nigerian”) scam, but it’s a grift that keeps on grifting. Even a con man needs a source of steady income, and astrology yields a near-endless stream of marks. And most places it isn’t even illegal!
Mechanism? What mechanism? I mean, it works for you—wasn’t that last reading just perfect, discounting the bit about the wild dogs and your mother in law, of course, I think I dropped a decimal point, I’m so sorry—but if it works then the mechanism has to exist, doesn’t it? Those scientist guys in their white coats may not be able to figure it out, and I can’t either, but it doesn’t matter. Now, see, Venus will be rising in Scorpio on the proposed date, and I can’t really recommend that for a wedding, perhaps you could put it off a few days…
How much more do you want? By the way, that’ll be fifty bucks. Each.
Regards,
Ric
tw: elements. No, that’s a different scam.
I like the “Lucky Number” books they sell at lottery counters. I was trying to explain to some dudes at lunch on a job site the other day the improbability of them all having different lucky numbers for the same lottery as they dilligently plugged in their names, birth dates, etc. into the formula. They were amazed that I didn’t see how different people had to have different numbers.
Pretty sure they voted for Kerry.
Hmmm.
Stock hint:
Don’t buy Priceline.com when your moon is in Uranus.
Hmmmm.
I have a computer program that does that randomly without having to buy copies of the WSJ or keep a monkey around.
The funny thing is that it didn’t do too badly. And that’s frankly creepy.
In a rising market, I wouldn’t be surprised. Unfortunately, I have other things to do with my money besides playing the market:
1. Pay my taxes. (Note to self – write letter to paper bitch-slapping that fool who wants NY to keep the money instead of a partial rebate on property taxes.)
2. Pay for my kids education. (Thank you, Lord. Last year for youngest kid. The hole stops getting deeper.)
3. Eat and keep roof over head.
4. Gas to get to work to keep this act going.
ed,
Uranus has been renamed to end that joke, once and for all. The new name is “Urectum”.
tw: put uh… no, I wont go there…
Urectum, you bought ‘em.
Oh, Your Lordship,it would do his heart good to see urectum snap at a bit of buttered toast!
“ficht nicht mit der rocketmenche”
Still working on Gravity’s Rainbow. The stars seem to indicate the best time for me to finish it is the next Pluto/Neptune conjunction, which I think is about 2247 or so.
So, I hope Kurzweil is right.
Forex Day Trading is the American Way. Great Post!
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