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John Bolton’s straight-talking mustache, “Regis,” reacts to complaints by UN deputy Secretary General Mark Malloch Brown that US criticism of the UN undermines the orgnanization’s mission

“Regis”: “Yeah, whatever.  Just so long as Brown remembers that when I pinch him on his ass, that means I want him to run and fetch me a sandwich and a Snapple.  And none of that peach iced-tea shit like last time, either.  Some of us still take our masculinity seriously.”*

(h/t rls)

24 Replies to “John Bolton’s straight-talking mustache, “Regis,” reacts to complaints by UN deputy Secretary General Mark Malloch Brown that US criticism of the UN undermines the orgnanization’s mission”

  1. Nuke 'm Hill says:

    Awwwww.  Poor widdle woody-woodums.  Are your feewings huwt?  I sooooo sowwy.

  2. Nuke 'm Hill says:

    This is the desparate ploy of a jilted lover.  “You need me.  You really need me.  Much more than you’re willing to admit.”

    Pathetic.  The sooner we’re outta there, the better.

  3. McGehee says:

    …complaints by UN deputy Secretary General Mark Malloch Brown that US criticism of the UN undermines the organization’s mission

    Malloch seems to be under the misguided impression that undermining the UN’s mission is a bad thing.

  4. Lou says:

    The United States is the largest contributor to the United Nations, paying 22 percent of its budget.

    If the want Dad to keep paying the bills they better stop the crying. Or feel free to move out of the house.

  5. Defense Guy says:

    I think it’s sweet that the organization that taxes me without my consent also wants me to not complain about incompetence and corruption.  Is Kofi special needs?  I never see him wearing a helmet, so maybe he’s high functioning.

  6. ss says:

    For god’s sake, don’t they know that in America, criticism and dissent is the highest form of international-body allegiance? Goes back to Thomas Jefferson. Freakin’ learn our ways, man.

    DON’T QUESTION OUR DEVOTION TO WORLD GOVERNMENT!!

  7. stiv says:

    If criticism of the administration and its policies is, as is often stated, the purest expression of patriotism, then wouldn’t criticism of the U.N. be a similar reflection of an inherent belief in and support of its “mission”?  Or is that just the Neanderthal in me talking?

  8. Pablo says:

    Getting in the way of the child rape, are we? Or is it the bribery and theft we’re curatiling?

    Either way, it’s all good!

  9. Mikey NTH says:

    US criticism of the UN undermines it?  Um, Mr. Brown?  That’s not a bug, that’s a feature.

  10. Rob B. says:

    “UN, you don’t like it? Then censure me with your army… What? You don’t have an army? Then I guess you best shut the fuck up. That’s right, I said it. Shut. The. Fuck. Up!”

    ~”Black President Bush”

    It kind makes you wonder what “Black John Bolton” would be like.

  11. rls says:

    Remind me again how hard the UN Mission in Iraq is working to help the democratic process along…..

    any time now……you know, the blue helmets….the Humvees with the UN logo……or…

    …how the UN is sooooo successful in stoping the genocide (ooops!  shouldn’t use that word!) in Darfur, or….

    ..how the UN is doing such a bang up job of bringing the Palestinians to the table and are curtailing the violence in the former occupied “territories”, or…

    …how the UN has effectively brought peace and prosperity to Bosnia, or….

    oh…fuggadit!

  12. RLS—you forgot how effectively the UN led Timorese policemen into an ambush.

  13. DK says:

    Oh God.  As I read the header I was taking my first sip of a peach iced tea snapple, I shit you not.  Diet, no less.  ohh

    spamword: “husband”, the eternal.

  14. N. O'Brain says:

    It kind makes you wonder what “Black John Bolton” would be like.

    Posted by Rob B. | permalink

    on 06/07 at 01:39 P

    Or a “Just-For-Menned” Regis.

  15. TODD says:

    Somewhere, somehow the U.N. forgot that we don’t

    care how they feel anymore…..

  16. tim maguire says:

    In a highly unusual instance of a United Nations official singling out an individual country for criticism…

    Hmmm…what? Maybe he meant “an individual country not named the United States,” but that would take away some of the claim’s power.

  17. kelly says:

    Hmmm…what? Maybe he meant “an individual country not named the United States,” but that would take away some of the claim’s power.

    Or another country not named Israel.

  18. rls says:

    Regis….is not happey.

  19. Chairman Me says:

    Wait, are their guys called the blue helmets or the purple helmets? I guess that depends on if you’re an African schoolgirl.

  20. Vladimir says:

    This….

    “He noted that the United Nations was fielding 18 peacekeeping operations abroad at lower cost and higher effectiveness than “comparable U.S. operations.” Yet, he said, that fact has been ignored or underplayed by policy makers and opinion shapers in Washington.”

    … sounds like it needs some proofs to be believed.

  21. ahem says:

    Undermining? Faster, Pussycat. Kill! Kill!

  22. MayBee says:

    Somehow, this would have had more impact if he would have gone on to blast the lack of public discourse allowed by Russian and Chinese state-run media.

    By not doing so, he ironically highlights the exact point most of the UN detractors have.  In a further irony, I’m sure the UN would have no stronger ally than George W Bush in wishing for positive coverage from the US Press.  “Washington’s tolerance” for the free press seems to bite “Washington” pretty regularly.

  23. JD says:

    It kind makes you wonder what “Black John Bolton” would be like.

    We go now to commentary from “Marcellus” – the stylishly groomed, perfectly waxed, dark onyx mustache of the “Black John Bolton” – on the feelings of the UN Deputy Secretary General regarding the United States and its mass media…

    “Marcellus”: “Why am I here taking any shit from a deputy secretary?  If I wanted crap from any kind of secretary, I’d go cornhole my OWN secretary!  Now listen up and listen good, Deputy Secretary Bitch:  We own you.  We own your building.  We own your car.  We own your house.  We own your secretary.  We pay your way.  So unless you want me to come over there and get medieval on your ass, shut the fuck up and do as I say!  Got that, Deputy Secretary Bitch?”

    “Marcellus”: And while you’re at it, Deputy Secretary Bitch, bring me some gin and juice.  And some pie.  Pecan pie, not that rhubarb shit you honkies like to eat.”

  24. Karl says:

    Regis gets results, too.  A few hours later, Mark Malloch Brown sings the praises of Fox News.

    Someone at Turtle Bay figured out this was an express ticket to Congress cutting them off.  I’m surprised.

Comments are closed.