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BREAKING:  HAVING (SECRETLY) AGREED TO TESTIFY AGAINST BUSH AND CHENEY IN THE PLAME LEAK SCANDAL, KARL ROVE SPENDS THE MORNING EATING A BAGEL AND READING THE WASHINGTON TIMES

*must credit protein wisdom*

Jason Leopold is reporting that Rove also had an Iced Caramel Macchiato (venti), and that the bagel he was eating (poppy) was smothered in lox, capers, raw onion, and pig’s blood—but even TruthOut is approaching that last bit with caution. 

Developing…

38 Replies to “BREAKING:  HAVING (SECRETLY) AGREED TO TESTIFY AGAINST BUSH AND CHENEY IN THE PLAME LEAK SCANDAL, KARL ROVE SPENDS THE MORNING EATING A BAGEL AND READING THE WASHINGTON TIMES”

  1. Good Lt says:

    If it turns out to be a muffin and not a poppy seed bagel, will Leopold / Ash roll over on their sources?

    When will the Rovian nightmare end?

    tw: Real journalists never reveal sources. Never. Ever.

  2. Major John says:

    but even TruthOut is approaching that last bit with caution.

    Heh.  You had me until this part.  TruthOut never approaches anything regarding Rove with caution.

  3. shank says:

    I’m pretty sure they’re going to end up ”standing down” on this one in a few days.  Standing down?  Is that lefty for “admitting you’re wrong”?

  4. Dan Collins says:

    Pig’s blood?  ‘Sblood!  Ods bodkins!  Wouldn’t that, since he’s “porcine,” make him a . . . a . . . carnibble?!

  5. Good Lt says:

    Is that lefty for “admitting you’re wrong”?

    Either that, or “They’re onto us! Bail!”

  6. swimdad says:

    If “truthout doesn’t do scapegoats,” can we assume that they do other kinds of goats?

    swimdad

  7. Good Lt says:

    Just for kix, I love this statement written over at “Truthout”:

    Expect a more comprehensive accounting of this matter on Monday, June 19.

    Business hours? Real hours? By Truthout time, we were supposed to get the sources of this bogus Rove story on the day it was reported that Rove wasn’t indicted (according to my source, Leopold) – hence, Tuesday. Going by Truthout time, I guess we can expect this “comprehensive account” sometime in mid-July.

    Or am I too far ahead of the news cycle on this? Should I stand down?

  8. FrankC says:

    Troll linking Sadly,No in 3… 2…

  9. Carin says:

    Loxs? I knew Rove was in cahoots with the JOOOOS.

  10. Jim in KC says:

    Troll linking Sadly,No in 3… 2…

    Here, I’ll save them the trouble, and spell it correctly in the process:

    http://sadlyno.com/archives/002902.html

    “Jeff, how can you post these mean things about Truthout when you’re obviously such an angry, gay, Count Chocula-eating poopyhead?  Are you trying to be funny, you monstrous cock-monger?” “Get some new drugs, man.”

  11. Jim in KC says:

    Oh, and no need to click on the link–they’ve probably had enough traffic based on this already.  I just wanted to show that it’s not really that hard to spell sadlyno.

  12. Phil Smith says:

    You forgot “get a job, chickenhawk.  Enlist!”

  13. Dan Collins says:

    TruthOut is a tech company that uses a special filter to remove all the toxic truth from your informational diet.  Rating: Buy

  14. Edward R. Murrow says:

    “Obviously there is a major contradiction between our version of the story and what was reported yesterday.”

    It would seem so.

    (Incidentally, read the comments. They’re beyond hilarious.)

  15. MarkD says:

    pig’s blood

    Is he trying to insult the Muslims or the Jews?  Drumming up support among the racist swinish rethuglicans?  Or all of the above? 

    Let that Rove dude off the hook, and the next thing you know you’re face down in the mud and bleeding from the ass.  Jason Leopold is in world of hurt, and it’s just starting.  Give him a month and he’ll be buying his own ticket to Gitmo to get away from the Rovemeister.

  16. Edward R. Murrow says:

    And they should protect their sources, if for no reason other than to spare them the embarrassment.

  17. Mikey NTH says:

    Ed, they are pretty standard – have seen them a dozen times elsewhere, but still they cause my jaw to drop.

    “Liberation Day?”

    “this country has gone fascist?”

    Look, those concepts are mutually exclusive – if the country’s gone fascist then there won’t be a liberation election.

    These people are exactly the sort of people who fall for con-jobs; they want to believe so badly they fall for anything.

    Pathetic.  If this is what the Rebel Alliance is depending on, then Darth Cheney and Darth can tun the Death Star into an orbiting spa – they have nothing to fear from these clowns.  Nothing.

  18. Mikey NTH says:

    ”…Darth Cheney and Darth Rove can turn…”

  19. N. O'Brain says:

    ”…Darth Cheney and Darth Rove…”

    That has a nice ring to it.

  20. Pablo says:

    OMFG:

    In that Mr. Luskin has chosen the commercial press as his oracle – and they have accepted – we call upon those publications to make known the contents of the communiqué which Luskin holds at the center of his assertions. Quoting only those snippets that Mr. Luskin chooses to characterize in his statements is not enough. If Special Counsel Patrick Fitzgerald has chosen to exonerate Mr. Rove, let his words – in their entirety – be made public.

    I’ve got a better idea, Mr Ash. How ‘bout you telling us just what Leopold heard and who he heard it from, hmmm? Surely your “sources with direct knowledge of the case” can confirm or deny the basic truth here. Luskin isn’t a reporter. Don’t ask him to do your job.

    I’m seeing another “moral victory” in the offing.

  21. topsecretk9 says:

    Not so fast… Larry Johnson has some tough questions for Rove…

  22. topsecretk9 says:

    ohh…forgot to add that Larry really should be taken seriously on this…I mean he did after-all have sources last October that 22 indictments were handed down…(strangely Jason Leopold reported the same thing, but whatever)

  23. Defense Guy says:

    It never occurs to these folks that if Luskin was making this up, Fitz would probably be in front of the cameras in a heartbeat to set the record straight.  Conspiracies do require “creative thinking”.

  24. DrSteve says:

    Ah, Larry Johnson.  Mr. July 10, 2001 and holding…

    Nope, no terrorist threat here.  Sure, bin Laden would like to hurt us, but you see he can’t.

  25. BumperStickerist says:

    I’d note that Jeff’s supposed fixation on ‘cock’ and various homoerotic postings are presented absent any explanatory material about the Left’s fixation on Guckert’s member.

    Under that rule I can write how Duncan Black’s preoccupation with paste and paste-eating demonstrate how Atrios did his best work in Kindy-garten and he’s hoping to relive that experience.

    .

  26. Pablo says:

    Under that rule I can write how Duncan Black’s preoccupation with paste and paste-eating demonstrate how Atrios did his best work in Kindy-garten and he’s hoping to relive that experience.

    While your method of reaching it is questionable, I don’t think anyone can argue with your conclusion.

  27. topsecretk9 says:

    Fitz would probably be in front of the cameras in a heartbeat to set the record straight.

    Well exactly and so don’t you think Luskin is ever so delighted they are feverishly building pile of merde #258 to be stepped in again…if I were Luskin I’d let it be known that mysterious fax/letter (is there a difference?) was in “lock-down” in a safe to stir the stew or do nothing, like he is…just more credibility nails in the Wilson/Johnson/TruthNot coffin.

  28. Stephen_M says:

    Elsewhere in The Washington Times

    At last a lawyer I can respect

    “A criminal defense attorney for a Marine under investigation in the Haditha killings says he will call a senior Democratic congressman as a trial witness, if his client is charged, to find out who told the lawmaker that U.S. troops are guilty of cold-blooded murder.”

    “Congressman Murtha will be one of the first witnesses I call to the witness stand,” Mr. Puckett said yesterday.”

  29. Dan Collins says:

    Edith Wharton’s “The House of Murtha”

    Get out of my face, Murthafucka!

    Congressman Maditha

    Add your own

  30. BumperStickerist says:

    Under that rule I can write how Duncan Black’s preoccupation with paste and paste-eating demonstrate(s) {that} Atrios did his best work in Kindy-garten and {that he must be} hoping to relive that experience.

    Breaking in a new trackball and hit the wrong button.. didn’t mean to write like I had suffered a series of mini-strokes.

  31. AskMom says:

    Enquiring minds really want to know what PAJAMAS Rove was wearing as he ate the kosher pig blood soaked bagel.  That and only that is the key piece of information being withheld. I expect the whole drool-soaked gang of Bush-obsessed mediazoids to zero in on that just as soon as Fitz gives them the okay.

  32. McGehee says:

    Enquiring minds really want to know what PAJAMAS Rove was wearing as he ate the kosher pig blood soaked bagel.

    I heard he went commando. I’ll have proof of this report in 24 business hours.

  33. mojo says:

    So…

    Are those “business hours” shorter or longer than regular hours, McG? Hee hee…

    SB: around

    been

  34. SteveG says:

    I liked the comment over at truthout that said something like: “There was too much information out there for this not to have been true…” what sorta daft hippie writes that nonsense?

    Buncha yapping, liberals making up stuff and cross referencing eath other.

    It’s a sort of blogincestfest everyone running around humping sisters mothers and cousins then wondering why the spawn drools.

  35. American Son says:

    “Truthout has never compromised the identy of a confidential source.”

    – I never thought for a second they’d make good on that promise. They knew they were blusstering when they made that threat to do so. Burn a source, even when they lie too you, and you can kiss any inside contacts goodbye for good.

    – Do that, and you might as well be doing weird things with goats, because your reporting days are essentially over.

  36. Great Mencken's Ghost! says:

    I’m pretty sure they’re going to end up ”standing down“ on this one in a few days.  Standing down?  Is that lefty for “admitting you’re wrong”?

    No, it’s more like squatting in your bunker screaming “Where is Wenk?  Where is Steiner?” into a disconnected microphone…

  37. McGehee says:

    Are those “business hours” shorter or longer than regular hours, McG? Hee hee…

    Depends on the business.

  38. Tom vG says:

    Killer. Awesome. Droll as hell. Words like that.

    Damn!!

Comments are closed.