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I once fell in love with the left hand of a mannequin, not knowing there was so much MORE of her out there to love.  Which is kinda similar.  Isn’t it?

Hysterical:

An artist’s sculpture has been rejected by the Royal Academy of Arts which has instead opted to display the wooden support it was put on.

David Hensel, 64, from East Grinstead, West Sussex, was told the laughing head would be part of the summer exhibition.

But at a preview he found that just a piece of wood intended to support the head was on display on the plinth.

The Academy said the judging panel assumed the two pieces were separate and decided the support was better.

Mr Hensel assumed staff had accidentally left the sculpture in the basement where it was being stored.

In a statement, the Academy said Mr Hensel’s work, One Day Closer To Paradise, was submitted as two separate pieces.

“Given their separate submission, the two parts were judged independently.

“It is accepted that works may not be displayed in the way that the artist might have intended.”

[my emphasis]

Uh huh.  And too often this means that people wind up paying good money to be taught some arrogant English professor’s pet reading of Huckleberry Finn, where—through the magic prism of queer theory—Huck and Jim are twisted into doing a little interracial man-boy grinding while the raft is somewhere “offstage.”

Which just goes to show you that when the intentions of the interpreters are privileged over the intentions of the “author,” the practical outcome is that it’s quite possible you may one day find yourself all decked out and sipping a glass of white wine while you spend time at a gallery opening staring at a fucking wooden support and toggle pin.

But then, unless you went to Broome Community College, you probably already knew that

(h/t pointfive and Ace, who has more)

100 Replies to “I once fell in love with the left hand of a mannequin, not knowing there was so much MORE of her out there to love.  Which is kinda similar.  Isn’t it?”

  1. Moe Lane says:

    One time while I was in grad school I went to an student modern art exhibit being held in a dorm basement.  Pretty much what you’d expect; one or two pieces that weren’t too bad and the rest ehhh to pretty bad.

    Just for fun, I spent twenty minutes praising the circular wall thermostat; somebody had put a frame around it to keep it from being brushed against, thus making it art for this context.  The great bit was, I had a couple of people buying it.  smile

    Moe

  2. Jason Jordan says:

    I’m reminded of the Platonic dialouge “Ion” and the definition of a techne that Socrates gives there.  Apparently either contemporary art is not a techne, or the judges of the Royal Academy do not posess it.

  3. That’s like sending a publisher a book proposal and having them print the cover letter and reject the book.  This guy should take the hint and make a career out of carving plinths.

  4. Up There says:

    More cock!

  5. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Dude. I’m already wearing custom trousers.  Can’t you people get enough?

    Because if not, I hear Aravosis has pictures!

  6. beetroot says:

    Hey Jeff, did you see <a href=”http://sadlyknow.com/archives/002902.html#more-2902

    “>this?</a>

    Curious to hear your reaction.

  7. Sadly, no, beetroot, it’s brand-spankin’ new to all of us here…

    Sheesh. Keep up, will you?

    TW: Can the lefties post something else today? Please? It’s getting to be like my neighborhood book club in here. “So, has everyone read The DaVin–” “YES!!!”

  8. kyle says:

    It’s just this sort of idiocy that likely shaped Washington’s decision to save children – but not the British children.

  9. TODD says:

    I happen to like the plinth…..

  10. Jackson Pollock says:

    What really bugs me about this is the complete reversal of the roles of artist and critic.

    To my mind, critics are like lamprey eels, symbiotically feeding off someone else’s resources. They’re parasites, depending on the work of the artist for raw material.

    Creation is where the real work is done. It takes talent–and a great deal of courage–to be a writer, painter or musician. The best artists create something new and original. And there’s usually only one original; all that follows is imitation. (Think of the ‘Sons of Don’ DeLillo or those affected Nabokovophiles who, somehow, always manage to squeeze, “And much, much more…” into their email messages.)

    It takes great courage to create, to risk the judgement of others. Many critics are frustrated artists who don’t have any balls. Artists will tell you that a work of art reveals more about them, their intellect and taste, than they’d care to admit. It’s full exposure of one’s personality.

    Most critics are unnecessary. They pick an artist and spend the rest of their listless lives churning out page upon page of What It All Means. With few exceptions, it’s a derivative activity raised to a level beyond its in inherent importance in order to justify a professor’s salary. Most people are smart enough to judge a book or song or work of art for themselves.

    So, when critics start telling artists that they’ll be the judge of what constitutes a work of art, thank you, I see that post-modern illusion is ascendant: the world is upside down and the inmates have taken over the asylum.

    The world can live without critics. It can’t live without artists.

    beetroot: Is that semen on your breath?

  11. David R. Block says:

    Beetroot,

    By now, that’s so old around here that it’s growing black mold.

    TW: You been under a rock or something the last few days?

  12. TomB says:

    beetroot, are you really that stupid, or is this some kind of joke?

    All these trolls from that site come here asking for Jeff’s reaction ON EVERY THREAD. And then none of them know how to spell it correctly.

    There must be a “how stupid can you be” contest going on over there this week.

  13. Major John says:

    Jackson Pollock – I can think of no better proof of your point than the miserable effort of James Wolcott to move from critic to writer.  It’s like he wanted to prove you right in every particular (and give Lileks more ammunition).

  14. Phil Smith says:

    re: critics

    You’re just a critic, we know why you drink so much

    Jealousy slowly consuming your gut

    The streets that you never knew are just where theyve always been

    Your head is firmly lodged way up your butt (where it belongs)

    Oingo Boingo, Impostor

    re:  beetroot

    I think he’s actually in on it.

    He’s still a dickfah.

  15. Cautiously Pessimistic says:

    Be fair, though.  It is a snazzy looking wooden support.

  16. beetroot says:

    Actually, everybody, I haven’t been around, I haven’t been reading posts or comments, but I read that piece about Jeff and wondered what he thought about it.

    That’s all.

  17. Nick says:

    I’ve had dates that go something like this.  I expect that dinner and sex naturally go together as part of the night.  The judge (read woman) then decides that the two are somehow separate, and opts for only the dinner.

    The whole practice is shameful isn’t it?

  18. Phil Smith says:

    Well, hell, I got it half right.

  19. Jeff Goldstein says:

    What do I think about it?  Well, what I think is that I’ve written something like 20,600 posts, who even knows how many comments, and that this (predicatably anonymous) guy spent an inordinate amount of time and energy trying to diagnose a mental illness that doesn’t exist from blog posts and comments he either didn’t understand, took out of context, or that reveal not so much deep-seeded psychological problems, but instead evince a willingness to fire back at trolls in language these people are now pretending offends them.

    In short, I found it ridiculous—but I loved some of my comments.  They still hold up.  And boy, did I laugh.

    Which makes me a narcissist, I guess—but that’s somewhat more desireable, in the long run, than being someone who spends countless hours building long, medically unsound psychological profiles of other bloggers for the purpose of… er…it’ll come to me…I dunno, getting slapped on the back by other people who can’t stand me, maybe?

    Far be it for me to tell someone else how to use his time.  But it seems this guy’s just publicly revealed an unhealthy obsession, when he could have been off protesting the war or something.

  20. beetroot says:

    PS: Jackson, FYI, I don’t suck cock. Altho’ I did think that the Sadly No piece’s collection of Jeff-cock references was interesting. It gives us an illustration of how intemperate language – regardless of the author’s intent – can distract readers from the author’s larger points, or provide critics with a handy-dandy excuse for rejecting those points.

  21. David R. Block says:

    Beetroot,

    If we had not heard that excuse for the 250,000th time (and I may be low), that might actually be credible.

    But it’s not, so you best be going.

    And copy and paste the URL from the damn site next time, if you’ve even really been there. You and every other nitwit lefty troll can’t even spell the name of the site correctly. And you think that Jeff has issues?? Projection, anyone?

    This is a variety of full blown OCD that’s turning into stalking. I know, I have OCD. It comes in various flavors, and thankfully I don’t have this variety.

  22. marcus says:

    Actually, everybody, I haven’t been around

    Serves you right, beetroot, for being a no-good lazy procrastinator and not stopping by for your daily thrashing.

    And for not bringing the paste. angry

  23. Jackson Pollock says:

    beet: If you haven’t been around, plese accept my apology. And if you’re trolling, have another mint.

  24. Jeff Goldstein says:

    It gives us an illustration of how intemperate language – regardless of the author’s intent – can distract readers from the author’s larger points, or provide critics with a handy-dandy excuse for rejecting those points.

    Or in other words, it shows you that people can do with other people’s messages whatever they wish, if we’re willing and predisposed to let them get away with it because we are no longer interested in original intent.

    Yes.  That’s quite a revelation.  Do you realize you’ve just made my argument for me, beet?

    Cynical and willful dismissals of intent can create “readings” that force the author onto the defensive, sure.  But only if we promote an interpretive paradigm in which such nonsense is given (undeserved) intellectual weight.

    Except in this case, I don’t feel particularly bothered, because I think it’s pretty obvious what the intent is of those over at Sadly, No!

  25. CheChe says:

    I don’t think I’ve ever seen my daughter so distraught. The tears welled up in her eyes as her lower lip uivered. Since her Mom left us for the tatooed Electo-Lux salesman and his biker buddies, our whole world had been turned upside down, but this, this was too much.

    As I held her, I began to softly sob, unable to hold back my shame and fear any longer.

    “Daddy, why does the Royal Academy of Art hate your sculpture so much?” she asked, choking back the tears.

    “I dunno honey, they just don’t understand the

    signifigance of the existential angst portrayed

    by the Laughing Head as it symnbolizes the helplessness of sensitive progressives trying to survive in the era of BusHitlerian fascism, juxtaposed against the sense of inordinate evil

    foisted upon an unsuspecting and innocent world by the neo-cons that would crush the happy brown children and their beautiful kites under the boots of their hegemonistic designs”, I replied.

    She looked at me through teary-bleary eyes and said “Maybe they just think you suck. Daddy”

    So I grounded the little gash for two weeks and took away her I-Pod.

    That’ll teach her.

  26. Clint says:

    Just so I’m up to speed –

    Has the paste replaced the pie?

    I mean ever since childhood, I’ve greatly preferred pie to paste.  Unless it’s Mincemeat pie, that is.

  27. Jeff Goldstein's Cock says:

    I just want to reassure everyone (not that you need it) that Jeff has no unhealthy obsession with me. Sure, he imagines slapping me upside the face of his critics and detractors, but what man hasn’t repeatedly written about hitting other men in the face with his penis? It’s natural, I tells ya. And that bit about fingering dog anus? Jeff was only responding to his critics in kind, and I wasn’t stiff at all when he wrote it. Not a bit.

  28. What is with the Sadly, No fans, posting the link here and then, patting their chests in disbelief when anybody rolls eyes at them and tells them to stop being such bozos, claim in all feigned innocence just to have been curious about Jeff’s reaction? He does post an email address right here on this very blog… If your intent, folks, is actually to ask him a personal question, why not use it?

    Of course, given recent discussions (including this one) on intentionalism, far be it from me to do other than attempt to interpret the writer’s intent based on contextual clues and their own gosh-darned behavior.

  29. MarquisDeSade says:

    Cockadoodledoo has just entered the room!

  30. Jim in KC says:

    That beetroot comment had to be someone playing a joke.  There is no way in hell even the stupidest lefty troll would spell the site wrong in the third different way in the last three times it’s been posted.

  31. Dawn W says:

    Now that the link—broken or otherwise—has appeared a billion times…my wish is that these guys would scurry back to their basements and get busy on the puppet version of Goldstein’s Greatest Hits.  Because nothing says “we hate you” (or shows just how serious the left is)more than puppets.

  32. Oh, and about the post itself: we wouldn’t want to put actual representational art on display, I guess. Better far to stick with the po-mo utterly abstract, because it does so much more to bring to consciousness the futility and ugliness of our time, even though the big head now languishing in the basement is laughing and all…

  33. Jeff Goldstein says:

    My cock has a much deeper voice.  And it’s a least three times the size.

    If your’re going to do imitations, you may as well get the costume right.

    Incidentally, I think (can’t be sure, but I think) that I’ve only threatened one person seriously with the cockslap.

    And just so you know, he had just written this about me:

    Well, for starters, I know of one Count Chocula impersonator who can give up his leisurely life of bloggin’ whilst breast-feeding and doing JELL-O® shots underneath his kid’s crib and “proceed” to the local recruitment office stat.

    To paraphrase Goldstein, “Jeff is a chickenhawk because he is a chickenhawk. And that’s all there is to it, really.”

    Now, I’d never heard of this guy or ever uttered a word about him.  But he put up a public post suggesting that I stick my nipple in my son’s mouth, and that my kid sucks milk out of said nipple.  He further implied that I was hiding under the kid’s crib drunk and afraid when I should have been out fighting a war.

    Not being in the position to fight a war just now, I offered to do the next best thing.  Have old Kevin meet me in person and tell me to my face I was a coward who breastfeeds his son.

    And had he taken me up on the offer, I would have beat him like a little bitch, then—just to drive home the point that I wasn’t a woman—I would leave him with a little slap across his puffy face with my COCK.

    Then, perhaps he’d be more circumspect next time about suggesting people he doesn’t know are somehow “womanly” for taking care of their kids.  Because a slap across the face with a dick leaves an impression, I’m told.

  34. McGehee says:

    That beetroot comment had to be someone playing a joke.

    Sadly, … well, you get the idea.

  35. Jeff Goldstein's Cock says:

    Jeff sez: “My cock has a much deeper voice.  And it’s a least three times the size.”

    LOL. grin A likely story. On the internet, nobody can tell you’re a vienna sausage.

  36. Jeff Goldstein says:

    On the internet, some people like pretending they are another person’s cock.

    So, you know, you role the dice, you take your chances.

  37. Rick says:

    I dunno…*I* can tell you’re really a Vienna sausage.  Scaled-down, of course.

    Cordially…

  38. Up There says:

    Not enough cock!  Also…specs: length, girth, hue, bend, ease of foreskin retraction, diameter of meatus, vein patterning, prominence of corpus cavernosa during tumescence …you know, guy stuff.

  39. So let me get this straight…

    A buncha leftists are showing an incredible amount of interest in Jeff’s cock, then coming over here and calling people gay?

  40. TODD says:

    Don’t forget the spongy epithelium reference also…..

  41. Vercingetorix says:

    OH MY GAWD…someone get actus.

    If I am right, acthole will stay in this one thread, happily engorging himself with COCK for the rest of his days.

    I think we have found a vaccine for actic herpes!!! The gift that won’t shut the fuck up.

  42. TODD says:

    Can the actus virus actually be killed?

  43. cranky-d says:

    OT, in that it’s about the sadly, no thingy.

    I managed to wade through the entire piece.  What made it easier was the PW material, kind of a “greatest hits” collection of the COCK material we’ve grown to love since the Gannon dustup.  Eventually I kind of blooped over the stuff in-between, since it was repetitive and yet made no legitimate point. 

    I thought I was obsessive until I read it.  Then I realized, I have nothing over Retardo.  That man has a fixation that crosses the border of scary and leaves it in the distance.

    Even sadder, he claims there will be a Part II.  BECAUSE OF THE VERBOCITY!

  44. Big E says:

    So let me get this straight…

    A buncha leftists are showing an incredible amount of interest in Jeff’s cock, then coming over here and calling people gay?

    That pretty much sums it up. Oh and Jeff’s crazy. 

    I actually trolled over their last night and started dropping turds all over the thread after I pointed out the untruth of the accusation that Jeff called Jane Hamsher a drunk. 

    I was really drunk but I recall making several super lame insults that I never got called on.  I got a couple decent shots in before I got bored and flipped on the TV.

    I think the guy posting as Jeff Goldsteins Cock might be the same guy who was posting as Big F over at SadlyNo last night.  Let me tell you, if it is the same guy he is SERIOUSLY obsessed with Jeff’s cock.

  45. DoctorBobKelso says:

    Hey, SockPuppet: While you were jousting with Jeff’s Cock of Truth, Justice and the American Way, the senate voted down a motion to withdraw from Iraq by a vote of 93-6. Say uncle.

  46. Actually, everybody, I haven’t been around, I haven’t been reading posts or comments, but I read that piece about Jeff and wondered what he thought about it.

    Well, then, you should understand that it’s been asked word for word the same way more than once.

    You wouldn’t happen to be a dartmouth prof would you?

  47. David R. Block says:

    OT, since it is about Sadly, Obsessive and the sychophants that inhabit it.

    It is interesting that since that post went up over there that the hit counter at the bottom of the page has gone up by more than 100,000.

    That should account for the increase.  cool smirk

  48. Pablo says:

    I don’t think I’ve ever seen my daughter so distraught.

    Every time I see this, I get all tingly with anticipation for the tale of sadness and woe that I know awaits.

    I know you can use this, CheChe. Thank Stephen Lynch. The love is all his, really.

    Hush little girl

    sweet baby don’t cry, tonight

    Daddy is here and he’ll

    sing you a soft lullabye, tonight

    Why can’t it all be like

    it was before

    How can I explain why mommys

    not here, anymore

    Because daddy likes porno

    and $10 whores

    Daddy gets wasted and robs

    liquor stores

    Daddy likes rubbing against

    little boys on the bus

    i think thats why your mommy left us

    mommy left us…

    hush little girl, there is

    no reason to fret, not tonight

    don’t mind the smoke,

    daddy just wants to forget

    (exhales deeply) tonight

    soon it will all be like it was before

    any minute she will walk

    through that front door…

    but daddy plays poker

    and drinks lots of beer

    then he wants sex that invloves

    mommy’s rear

    daddy has sores on his naughty

    parts oozing with puss

    I think thats why your mommy left us

    Please don’t cry, i swear i’ll

    try, to be here by your side

    Right after daddy gets

    home from the bar

    visits his booky,

    and steals a new car

    he’ll drive to the strip club

    and if daddy plays his cards

    right, he’ll bring home your

    new mommy tonight, li de di, li de di…

    tw, and I kid you not: family

  49. 6Gun says:

    I read that piece about Jeff and wondered what he thought about it.

    That’s all.

    All the credibility of actus, the Shameless Talking Telephone Pole.

    I said pole, rootbeat.  Go wild.

  50. American Son says:

    93/6 ….Hmmmm… I guess LurchKerry will need to find a conference somewhere quick, stocked with Limo Liberals, where he can say he was wrong about being wrong about being wrong about being wrong…..

    – Then three of His Liberal colleges, led by the unsinkable molly Schumer, can follow that act by explaining why they were so outraged about something that never happened, that they felt moved to hold a press conference, and absolutely rile against the outreageousness of that non-event: The rumor that the Iraqi government was offering amnesty to insurgent combatants.

    – More irony dripping from the positions of the willfully ignorant left when you consider that a good many of the insurgents were ex-Hussein Sunni’s. Yep. the very ones that the Libturd Senators were screaming that Bremmer should have included in the main core Iraq government from the beginning. But wait. theres more!

    – While all this is going on, that parigon of “truth to power”, Senator Harmon(D)Cal., was on FOX answering the question about the importance of the papers found in the Zarqawi safehouse rubble that painted the Insurgency in grim circustances:

    “Well while getting rid of that man, regardless of how you may see his cause, a man that was cutting off heads and blowing up people, well thats no way to lead a movement, so naturally it was good and necessary to get rid of him…..But you <i>musn’t believe what he said about the insurgency</i>…”

    It seems that the left is so on top of things now, they are even telling the head of al Qaeda, that he doesn’t know what he’ps talking about.

    – Looks like the left is so confused and distressed themselves over Iraq, and the losing position they’ve taken from the beginning, they just keep digging the hole deeper, and deeper.

    – In the mean time, Bush’s numbers have gone back up to 40%, a jump of 8 points in just a week. Must really twist your jockstrap seeing that happen, after 5+ years of back breaking lying, and drive-bye press fabrications, to drive them down in the first place.

    – Sounds more and more like the trumpet of desperation every day. It may well turn out Hillery will be glad she got booed.

  51. TODD says:

    The left won’t fret though American Son, they still have Meet The Press and Face The Nation this weekend to ramp up another round of anti Bush rhetoric.  This is a vicious cycle it is…..It just seems that the public doesn’t run with the bullshit as long as they used to.  Teflon times for the Rovian empire…… hmmm

  52. The Left says:

    TWENTY NINE PERCENT, GODDAMNIT! TWENTY FUCKING NINE PERCENT! FUCK YOU AND YOUR FORTY!

    I. CAN’T. FUCKING. HEAR. YOU!!!!!!!!!

    tw: French

    Whoa!

  53. American Son says:

    – Ermm… could someone call the front desk, and have them send up a pail and a mop…..Looks like another asshat just blew an artery….

  54. TODD says:

    And send up an extra case of Depends as well….

  55. Great Mencken's Ghost says:

    “The Critic”

    Tell it like it is…

    He gets up real early on his mornin drive.

    Down to the office for his 9 to 5.

    He drives a 94, 2 tone, economy car.

    Loves to tell the local bands down at the bar that he’s The Critic.

    Yea, I can hook you up, I know everybody, in the business.

    He flunked junior high band he couldn’t march in time.

    He tried to write a song once, he couldn’t make it rhyme.

    He went two or three chords on a pawn shop guitar, he just never quite had what it took to be a star, so he’s a critic.

    I work for the Gazette man…I got a real job.

    He did a 5-star column on a band he never heard.

    He did a bluegrass review without an unkind word.

    He thought it was time to ask his boss for a raise, his boss said I can’t even tell if anybody’s even readin your page.

    Yea…

    So he thought…and he thought a little more.

    He caught a young hot star headin into town, and then he hid behind his typewriter and gunned the boy down.

    Here come the letters, the e-mails, the faxes, they raised him to 20,000 dollars after taxes.

    He’s a happy critic…

    He’s rollin in the dough…

    Man I could do this forever…this is easy. Everybody’s readin my column!

    Please don’t tell my mom, that I write the music column for the Gazette.

    She still thinks I play piano down at the Cathouse.

    They’re gonna love you…cause they already love me.

    (Yea!)

    It’s the Critic.

    — Toby Keith

  56. Great Mencken's Ghost says:

    My cock has a much deeper voice.

    THAT COCK STUDIED IN LONDON!

  57. Some Guy in Chicago says:

    Oh hey! beetroot is back.

    While we’re sharing interesting tidbits about what’s going on in the world today, you catch this?

  58. cynn says:

    Jeff, unfortunately I haven’t kept up with the intention debate here, but in the mists of my post-graduate days I seem to remember an essay that suggested that when an artist (writer) submits a work to the world that he or she surrenders the right to control of its interpretation.  I’ll have to look.  It’s been forever.

    This art mess you point to illustrates the fact that critics and evaluators have ultimate control of the message.

  59. BoZ votes for the plinth says:

    Finally slogged through the literate 25% of the Jeffatwa @ the place no one can spell, and oh oh.

    I don’t know if I qualify as a “minion,” since we don’t agree on much except that towering heaps of subclauses and inappropriate swearing are fuckin’ sweet, but…Jesus.

    Almost everything I think re: politics and “culture” flows from an axiom holding roughly that almost everyone’s a vile shit whose mental debasement and reflexive cruelty make human freedom impossible, so I hate finding evidence that I’m right. Oh well.

  60. cynn says:

    Well, that sums it up nicely!  Plus, quit acting like strap-ons.  You know what I mean.

  61. American Son says:

    – Boz…. they have to stuff something under that big tent, just to pay for the decorations….

  62. wishbone says:

    Up next:

    Photoshops of Jeff as Gutavus Adolphus, Alexander the Great, Robert E. Lee, Erwin Rommel, and Suck the Wonder Bat.

  63. MarkD says:

    Yeah, where is actus?  And where’s the armadillo?

    TW: eye.  “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” Nah, too on topic for this thread.

    “I’m going to f*ck you in the eye until your brains come out your ears, maggot.” Drill Instructor Sgt Sott, Parris Island SC.  Because when you think it can’t get any worse, you are wrong.

  64. American Son says:

    Ohhhhhh-raaaaaaaaaaahhhh – Sempre Fi

    – America – Fuck yehhhhh – Man up Maggots!

  65. Big E says:

    I hate to drag this conversation away from Jeff’s cock for a minute but….

    What are the odds that anyone at the Royal Academy of the Arts has ever read The Emporers New Clothes. I mean really read it.

  66. B Moe says:

    What are the odds that anyone at the Royal Academy of the Arts has ever read The Emporers New Clothes. I mean really read it.

    They don’t have any books there anymore, they just lined the cases with those cool weighted bookmarkers from Barnes and Nobles.

  67. Attila Girl says:

    I really should go over to the other thread. Sounds like Goldstein’s Greatest Hits, with special emphasis on cock.

    Is there any pie to go with that, BTW?

  68. Major John says:

    Jeff as Gutavus Adolphus

    Wishbone – for that, next time you are near the western suburbs of Chicago, I owe you a nice single malt.  On ice.

    Jeff Goldstein, The Lion of the North, Defender of the Protestant Cause in the Empire, etc.  Man, am I smiling.  And I never thought all those days of studying under Geoffrey Parker would mean anything.

    Oskee-Wow-Wow.

  69. American Son says:

    What are the odds that anyone at the Royal Academy of the Arts has ever read The Emporers New Clothes. I mean really read it.

    – What are the odds that LurchKerry can go a full day without changing his position on something…probably about the same bet….

  70. 2.8 GPA says:

    Jeff;

    What do you know?

    You don’t have your Ph.D!

  71. Great Mencken's Ghost says:

    Major John — Nice to meet someone else who doesn’t think “Tilly” automatically mean “Jennifer”, cuddly tho she is…

  72. rls says:

    Ohhhhhh-raaaaaaaaaaahhhh – Sempre Fi

    Once a Marine – always a Marine.

    Semper Fi!!

  73. wishbone says:

    Lagavulin with a chilled granite cube, Major J.  Absolutely no f’in ice.

    Everything flows from 1648, folks.

    Now, let’s see how long it takes one of the leftards to point out the sack of Magdeburg as proof of moral equivalence with Zarqawi, et al.

    To mimmick our host–feh–even if they google that, they won’t know what the hell it means…

  74. B Moe says:

    Now, let’s see how long it takes one of the leftards to point out the sack of Magdeburg as proof of moral equivalence with Zarqawi, et al.

    Since history doesn’t exist on the left before 1968, I think you will be waiting awhile.

  75. American Son says:

    – I tried a sack of Magdeburg once….. tasted like chicken….

  76. wishbone says:

    German chicken, A.S.

    It’s good eating but an hour after eating you feel like invading Poland.

  77. American Son says:

    – Must be the reason I kept hearing strains of The Flight of the Valkyries in my noggin while I was eating it…..

    “MEIN FURHER….I CAN VALK!

  78. Patricia says:

    Ah, but now the art critics laugh richly, because though it appears the pomo joke is on them, it is on all of us!

    *lights Gallois*

    Being.  Nothingness. 

    *sigh*

  79. JD says:

    Major John – Are you an Illini alumnus ?

  80. andrew says:

    Jeff,

    I agree that the author’s intent should determine our understanding of a text.  Without that all you really have is another opportunity to project yourself onto a work.  Thanks for writing. 

    andrew

  81. Knemon says:

    Another great song about critics: “The Heckler,” by Primus.

    “It’s just a matter of opinion …”

  82. DeepTrope says:

    Imagine Jeff’s oh-so-brilliant-critics on the left paraphrasing Cake in

    “Open Book”:



    You think [he’s] an open book,

    But you don’t know which page to turn to, do you?

    You think [he’s] an open book,

    But you don’t know which page to turn to, do you?

    Do you? Do you?

    You want him, confront him.

    Just open your window.

    Unbolt it, unlock it,

    Unfasten your latch.

    You want it, confront it.

    Just open your window.

    All you really have to do is ask.

    But you’re caught in your own glory.

    You are believing your own stories.

    Timing your contractions.

    Inventing small contraptions

    That roll across your polished hardwood floors…

    Yep–bottom line with interpreters/critics: they believe their own stories.

    tw:  figure, as in: Go figure.

  83. Major John says:

    Major John – Are you an Illini alumnus ?

    BA (History) Jan 1989

    MA (History) Jan 1991

    Hail to the Orange, Hail to the Blue…

    Tilly was cool – but you have to love that Wallenstein fellah.

    Reading Sydnam Poyntz is like reading the Michael Yon of the 30 Years War.

  84. SPQR says:

    I’ve got Parker’s work on the 30 Years War on the shelf, need to return to it.

  85. brooksfoe says:

    The worst thing about this plinth-and-statue reversal trend is that it has COMPLETELY TAKEN OVER THE LIBERAL CURATORIAL ESTABLISHMENT.

    Last week I was at the Metropolitan for the first time in a while. The whole Ancient Greek gallery – nothing but plinths. Not a statue to be seen. Horrified, I rushed over to MOMA. The place was like an abandoned loft – plinths, empty frames, whiteness. The only things on the walls were long screeds about how these framing devices invited us to interrogate the process of artistic representation and response. And then, taking things to the next level, some of the wall texts were just blanks. They had little tiny wall texts next to the blank wall texts, talking about how these blank wall texts invited us to interrogate the process of interpretation of representation and reception. And some of the tiny wall texts were blank, and had even tinier wall texts next to them… Art students and tourists were wandering about admiring the fire extinguishers, giving knowing nods in a desperate attempt to signal their bona fides.

    And then I woke up and realized it was all a dream, and I rushed over to MOMA to find it full of absolutely great and exciting art and really intelligent and creative and gorgeous art students in cool pants. And I remembered that somewhere in the UK some curators had reportedly pulled a dumb stunt which was now being made fun of by resentful retrogrades on a blog who don’t actually know anything about what’s happening in the art world but like to insult it once in a while to make themselves feel superior.

  86. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Why is it that in every thread you appear in, brooksfoe, everyone else but you is presumed to be woefully uninformed? 

    You do realize that you are becoming a parody of yourself, do you not?

    Maybe if I use “poltroon,” I could drive the point home to you…

  87. brooksfoe says:

    The folks on this thread appear to be well informed about the Treaty of Westphalia.

  88. brooksfoe says:

    Jeff:

    Oh, and about the post itself: we wouldn’t want to put actual representational art on display, I guess. Better far to stick with the po-mo utterly abstract,

    You’re going to tell me this gentleman is well informed about the contemporary visual arts scene?

  89. McGehee says:

    The folks on this thread appear to be well informed about the Treaty of Westphalia.

    Interesting that you consider the ephemeral state of the “arts scene” more worthwhile than the kind of historical precedents that inform intelligent political debate.

  90. Pablo says:

    And I remembered that somewhere in the UK some curators had reportedly pulled a dumb stunt which was now being made fun of by resentful retrogrades on a blog who don’t actually know anything about what’s happening in the art world but like to insult it once in a while to make themselves feel superior.

    And then you’ve got your art geeks who think themselves equipped to opine on appropriate conduct in war in a room full of those trained to prosecute it.

    One is an annoyance. The other is a liability.

    tw Support the Troops! I do.

  91. Phone Technician in a Time of Roaming says:

    Was there even some kind of vague point to brooksfoe’s comment?

    I mean, is he saying that the RAA was right to prefer the plinth to the support, is he saying it never happened, did he think it was funny … what the hell is he saying anyway?

    Of course, the Left’s been the go-to guys for utterly pointless verbiage this century.

  92. brooksfoe says:

    Interesting that you consider the ephemeral state of the “arts scene” more worthwhile than the kind of historical precedents that inform intelligent political debate.

    Nothin’ wrong with knowing a lot about the Treaty of Westphalia. But it doesn’t help one much in interpreting the significance of events in the contemporary art world, which is ostensibly the subject of the thread. And the contempt with which you refer to the “arts scene” here speaks for itself.

    For those with difficulty in interpreting satire, the point of the earlier post was that plinth-statue reversals like the one delineated in the article are not in fact an important issue in contemporary art, as they do not actually occur, almost ever. And they do not make any telling point about contemporary art in general. They’re about as substantial as the “my 5-year-old could have painted that” objection one still sometimes hears in modern art galleries, or the less common but only slightly more interesting point one might make at the Van Gogh Museum that half of the competent street artists in Beijing could have forged that.

  93. Pablo says:

    For those with difficulty in interpreting satire, the point of the earlier post was that plinth-statue reversals like the one delineated in the article are not in fact an important issue in contemporary art…

    Have you got anything for those with difficulty appreciating irony?

    If so, take some.

  94. Phone Technician in a Time of Roaming says:

    And they do not make any telling point about contemporary art in general.

    Modern art is not fraudulent. And if I keep saying it over and over, it becomes magically true! And craft doesn’t matter either!

  95. pdq332 says:

    You all missed the real point:  The real art was the people admiring the plinth and empty stand.

    <meta>You all missed the real point: The real art was all the commenters on protein wisdom laughing at the people admiring the plinth and empty stand.</meta>

    <KangAndKodos>Bwaaahahahhaaahaa!</KangAndKodos>

  96. brooksfoe says:

    craft doesn’t matter

    See, this is what’s so interesting about the comments on this thread. Nobody in the contemporary arts scene actually thinks anything resembling “craft doesn’t matter”. That’s part of a debate that was taking place from maybe the 30s through the 70s. It’s been irrelevant since the 80s, when admiration of craft returned in full force. And it was postmodernism that was responsible for that return. So the notion that a disdain for craft is somehow “po-mo” is just kind of weird.

  97. Great Mencken's Ghost says:

    Nobody in the contemporary arts scene actually thinks anything resembling “craft doesn’t matter”.

    Dude.

    They’re praising a stick.

    On a rock.

  98. Great Mencken's Ghost says:

    Last week I was at the Metropolitan for the first time in a while. The whole Ancient Greek gallery – nothing but plinths.

    But were they Ionian plinths, or Doric plinths?

  99. Spiny Norman says:

    Nobody in the contemporary arts scene actually thinks anything resembling “craft doesn’t matter”.

    Dude.

    They’re praising a stick.

    On a rock.

    Sounds like someone else needs to read The Emperor’s New Clothes, you know, really read it.

    hmmm

  100. Hee hee hee… This “gentleman” is singularly underendowed… for a “gentleman.” “He” has however given birth several times.

    Brooksfoe, I was f’in’ joking. Humblest apologies for doing so unfunnily.

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