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Canuckistan? (UPDATED)

Laguna Dave points us to this Winnipeg Sun article from inveterate anti-American columnist Eric Margolis, which suggests that at least some of the “intellectual class” writing for the Canadian media (read:  Socialists) are likely to treat yesterday’s revelations that Ontario was the target for a major terror attack NOT as reason to get more serious about fighting Islamic extremists, but rather as an excuse to surrender to them (though the surrender is softened by an appeal to the language of blowback).  From “Canada is a Target”:

[…] Three weeks ago, I warned a conference of Department of National Defence staff and police officers that the greatest security threat to Canada would come not from the shadowy al-Qaida organization abroad, but from angry young Canadian Muslims opposed to Canada’s presence in Afghanistan and its tacit support of U.S. policy in Iraq and Palestine.

The previous terrorist bombings in London and Madrid were not conducted by al-Qaida operatives freelancing from Afghanistan or Pakistan.

They were carried out by young British-born Muslim men and Spanish residents opposed to their nation’s intervention in Iraq and Afghanistan.

[my emphasis]

Note that Margolis doesn’t appear interested in why British-born Muslim and Spanish residents “opposed their nation’s intervention” in Iraq and Afghanistan—the assumption being that such opposition is only natural for young Muslim men, their being, you know, Muslim and all (and those two countries being Muslim countries).  But of course, the majority of Iraqis—also Muslim—are happy to see Saddam toppled, just as the vast majority of Afghans are pleased to see the Taliban defeated.

So what, exactly, is Margolis’ point here?  That self-identification as Muslim is somehow a justification for violently opposing what other self-identified Muslims, far greater in number, do not oppose?  Margolis doesn’t come right out and say it here, but the implication is certainly that Western intervention on behalf of oppressed Muslims, when it proceeds from self-interest or in response to some attack, invites violent response from “young” Muslims.  Which may in fact be the case.  But that doesn’t make either the impulse or the actions justifiable—and in fact, soft apologias like Margolis’ just serve to illustrate the weakness in Western intellectual decadence that the jihadis have posited will be our downfall in the fight against them.

Margolis continues:

Is Canada now facing its own, home-grown violence?

The 17 arrested men are all apparently Muslim, with one possible exception. The RCMP alleges the suspects planned to use three tons of fertilizer (ammonium nitrate) to build deadly truck bombs for use against targets in southern Ontario.

This scenario is plausible. Radical Muslims around the world see western intervention in Iraq and Afghanistan as crimes against the Islamic world, part of a new anti-Muslim crusade directed from Washington. A small number of extremists may have decided to punish Canada for sending troops to fight in Afghanistan.

[…]

The Bush administration wants Canada to get tough on a wide assortment of Muslim groups and individuals protesting U.S. policy in the Muslim world.

[my emphasis]

The contours of Margolis’ argument should by now be quite obvious:  because a small number of radical Muslims see western intervention in Iraq and Afghanistan as part of a new “anti-Muslim” crusade, well, those interventions must necessarily be part of such a crusade.  After all, “radical Muslims” are certainly entitled to interpret western actions anyway they please, and who are we to say they are wrong for doing so?

And why have these angry young Muslim protesters become upset to the point where they wish to blow up large portions of Ontario?  Why, Bushco., of course.  Which argument conveniently brackets 911, but then, that can be explained away, too, as the result of years of US policy in Israel and the middle east, where the US didn’t do enough to settle the Israel / Palestine conflict (or is it that we are too involved?), and where we propped up dictators as a function of realpolitik (or is it that we’ve now begun pressing for democratic reform in the region?  This gets very confusing, I must admit)…

These raids by hundreds of Canadian security officers and police against a relatively small number of mostly young Muslim suspects in Mississauga, Toronto and Kingston suggest this high-profile operation may have been designed as much for public relations and diplomatic reasons as national security. No doubt, Washington will be very pleased with Prime Minister Stephen Harper.

It’s possiblethat among the adults and minors charged, Canadian security organizations have rounded up some loud-mouthed teenagers who have been encouraged to sedition by government “agents provacateurs.”

Uh huh.  If this were an “X-Files” episode, perhaps.  But applying Occam’s Razor, I’ll just point out that one need not look very far to find instances of angry Muslim youth who have actually either tried and succeeded (or tried and failed) to attack their host countries—and were one to choose to go with this reading over the “agent provacateur” multi-government conspiracy theory (which involves the US and Britain, as well), I wouldn’t blame that person.

But please, continue Mr Margolis:

[…] In any event, by sending combat troops to Afghanistan, Canada has declared itself an active participant in the U.S.-led war against Islamic militancy. As a result, Canadians must now expect what CIA veterans refer to as “blow-back.”

Once admired by all and hated by none, Canada has now made itself a terrorist target.

While Canadians may rightly feel relief for now, if history is any guide, it’s only a matter of time before a major attack occurs.

If not now, soon.

And there you have it.  By aiding an ally that who was the victim of a major terror attack against civilians via commercial airliners used as weapons by Islamists, Canada was just begging to make itself a target.

Which raises two questions:  1) even were this true—even were it the case that “angry Muslim youth” wouldn’t be angry if only Canada had minded its own business and not come to the aid of an ally—would it be proper for Canada not to come to the aid of an ally?  And 2) does Margolis NOT believe that these radical Muslim youth are at all influenced by al Qaeda?  Because if they are, then Canada’s existence as a Western mini-satan—a country that in many ways is far more repugnant to fundamentalist Islamists in their social policies than is the US—is anathema to them, and they need nothing more than that fact alone to provoke them into attack; and if they are not, then why would they be “angry” over interventions that the vast majority of their co-religionists in Afghanistan (and Iraq support)? 

Of course, those questions are merely rhetorical.  Margolis’ suggestion that “Canada now made itself a terrorist target” speaks to just how willing many people are to find justifications for retreat and surrender.  Because even if Canada is somehow responsible for making itself a terror target, the reasons it has become one—either its fidelity to its allies, who were attacked, or its social policies and Western sensibilities, which are abhorent to radical Islamists—are both worth defending, I should think.

So rather than argue that the proper response, as Margolis intimates, is to avoid confrontation, one should think he’d recognize that the Canada he purports to speak for is worth defending—either for honoring its obligations to its allies OR for honoring its obligations to its social beliefs.

But then, who am I to judge a “Canadian,” anyway?**

****

related:  Captain’s Quarters, “RCMP Went Undercover For Raid”

AHA!  ENTRAPMENT!  See?  I just knew somebody’s civil liberties were violated. 

****

update “Canadian Islamic Congress Blames Canada”

74 Replies to “Canuckistan? (UPDATED)”

  1. Kent says:

    While Canadians may rightly feel relief for now, if history is any guide, it’s only a matter of time before a major attack occurs.

    If not now, soon.

    … he fervantly hopes and prays.

    Well… wait, though.  That was almost certainly unfair of me, in retrospect.

    I doubt he actually prays.

  2. Rick says:

    That Margolis sounds like a contemptible Chickendhimmidove.  He ought to demonstrate his principles by immediately converting to Islam, rather than wasting Canadians’ time with halfway measures and rationalizations.

    Cordially…

    TW:  I really gave him jolly what for.  Or tried.

  3. 6Gun says:

    Canadian appeasment not working?  Strange; it did so well in England.

    tw: Planning

  4. The self-hatred of the themselves and the very values they purport to represent just drips from this silly commentary by Margolis.

  5. Up There says:

    Oh, this is too good…

    But then, who am I to judge a Canadian, anyway?

    What kind of traitorous, un-American crime-think is that?  It’s your God-given right to judge everything and everybody…especially Eric Margolis, who’s from the US.

    “Eric Margolis is a journalist born in New York City to a Jewish father and Albanian Muslim mother. He holds degrees from the International School of Geneva, the Georgetown, the University of Geneva, and New York University. During the Vietnam War he served as a US Army infantryman.”

    Books, Pasties, are not for children anymore.

  6. Kent says:

    Muslim mother

    Ah.

  7. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Well, if it helps you, Up There, just substitute “Canadian journalist” or “American living in Canada covering Canadian culture” or “one time New York Jew” or whatever else you need to get you through the difficulty of putting together the points here.

    Don’t let “Canadian” throw you off.  Unless of course he now has Canadian citizenship.  Which I don’t know.  Do you?

  8. rickinstl says:

    Another voice from the lefty herd.

    Another demented fool without a clue.

    I wonder what epitaph he’ll gargle as Salim and the rest of the “youths” are sawing his head off.

    tw: something ALONG the lines of “Call the Ameri… glaaahhh!”

  9. Alan Kellogg says:

    If Margolis’ trust fund ever gave out he would be in a world of hurt

  10. CraigC says:

    Another lefty blinded by PC, spewing the party line.  They just can’t bring themselves to admit that the answer is quite simple, and it has nothing to do with being pissed off about anybody’s foreign policy.

    They are simple-minded, 7th-Century jihadists, who want to destroy everything Western and replace it with sharia law.  The problem is islam, period.  We will never overcome them until we can admit what the problem is.

    Heh. Spamword, “evidence.”

  11. 6Gun says:

    What kind of traitorous, un-American crime-think is that?  It’s your God-given right to judge everything and everybody…especially Eric Margolis, who’s from the US.

    I’ll go you one better, Up Where, you little irony-free, socialist trollop:  What kind of traitorous, un-American crime-think is that?  It’s our God-given right to judge everything and everybody…especially Eric Margolis, who’s from the US.

    I think it has to do with basic cognition, something the news these days convincingly says has vacated the average Canuckistan “mind”.  Don’t fuel that fire.

  12. Jeff Goldstein says:

    At any rate, how do you feel about letting an American foreign correspondent presume to speak for you and your country?  Because he is clearly writing from what he believes to be a Canadian perspective for a Canadian audience, is he not?

    Wait. Forget I even asked that.

  13. 6Gun says:

    And what is it with the seething combo of leftist psychosis and a complete, universal inability to grasp irony, humor, etc., etc.?

    Oh.

    tw: To a person.

  14. 6Gun says:

    Up Where asserts moral/intellectual/cultural /geographical/historical/donut superiority in 5…4…3…

  15. LagunaDave says:

    Eric Margolis is a journalist born in New York City to a Jewish father and Albanian Muslim mother…

    He may have been born in the United States, but he seems to be primarily a Canadian journalist now.  His contact info lists a Canadian address.

    His archives contain some real howlers.

    Consider this article from December 2000, warning of an insidious US plan (presumably orchestrated by the Clinton administration) to “launch a joint military assault against Islamic militant Osama Bin-Laden”.

    Shyah, if only that were true.

    America has a better case against Bin Laden, who proclaimed jihad, or holy struggle, to ‘liberate Arabia and Palestine from American rule.’ He may have been behind the terrorist bombings in East Africa; perhaps, too, of the ‘USS Cole.’ But Washington has to date shown no real proof, only leaks and claims by dubious ‘anti-terrorism experts.’

    Old comrades from the war against the Soviets in Afghanistan who know Bin Laden, tell me the US has blown him out of all proportion into a mythical caricature, the latest of long list of Muslim boogemen beginning with the 19th-Cerntury ‘Mad Mullah.’ Bin Laden’s alleged attacks may have actually been done by other Saudi extremists of the Wahabi sect.

    Got that?  Osama, he’s just this guy, you know?

    The article concludes with an apologia for the Taliban’s human rights abuses and a paean to their restoration of “order” to the country.

    Bear in mind this is a guy who claims to be an expert on the Middle East and Afghanistan in particular, having written a book specifically about the country.  But it gets better.

    His first article after 9/11 contains this flight of fancy:

    In fact, the perpetrators of this monstrous crime were small in number, likely no more than three score, possibly an unknown, American-based cell, perhaps without direct links to any known terrorist organization. Most appear to have been long-time US residents and at least five had been in the American military forces. Far from wild-eyed mountain fanatics, the these multi-ethnic Muslims seem to have been young, well-education, Americanzied Muslims.

    Before launching into his pitch for America not to respond to the attacks, he continues:

    The assailants may have had some tenuous liason with bin Ladens Al-Qaida organization, an umbrella anti-American group that has become Washingtons bete noire. But bin Laden has been isolated by his Taliban hosts for over a year, denied communications equipment, and ordered to avoid any aggressive acts. The Saudi militant, who has embarked on a lonely struggle to end American domination of his oil-rich homeland, is under 24 hour surveillance by foreign intelligence agencies. Its hard to believe a man hiding in a cave in Afghanistan can mount a complex, high-tech terror operation 9,000 miles away. Many intelligence people believe bin Laden, like the notorious Abu Nidal, is merely a front for so far unseen groups

    Again, this from a guy who is supposed to be an expert on Afghanistan and the Middle East.

    Oh, and BTW, where was Abu Nidal, bin Laden’s alleged puppet-master, at the time of 9/11?  Why, he was enjoying Saddam Hussein’s hospitality in Baghdad, of course.

  16. George S. "Butch" Patton (Mrs.) says:

    During the Vietnam War he served as a US Army infantryman.”

    *sniff* *sniff* Ward Reilly?  Izzat you?

  17. Up There says:

    …whatever else you need to get you through the difficulty of putting together the points here.

    Don’t need anything else, thanks.  You don’t think I actually read your posts in their entirety, do you?

    I have no idea whether Margolis has Canadian citizenship. It matters less to me than it obviously does to you that he’s a “one time New York Jew,” whatever that’s supposed to mean.

    Alright…enough exposure to edible mucillage for today.  The fumes are making me dizzy.

  18. rls says:

    The fumes are making me dizzy.

    Did someone fart?

  19. ss says:

    Books, Pasties, are not for children anymore.

    Because they’re dangerous? I suppose after the banning of guns and knives, the next weapon to ban is hardback books. So, I expect Canada will soon be mandating paperbacks, even for adults, as a safety measure. Is Shakespeare in the nontoxic chewable version the same text as the Penguin?

  20. ss says:

    Talk about nanny-statism.

  21. Kent says:

    Books, Pasties, are not for children anymore.

    Secondhand knowledge on your part, surely.

  22. eakawie says:

    Of course Canada was asking for it. Just look how she’s dressed.

  23. Kent says:

    You don’t think I actually read

    I don’t even grant the assumption that your thumbs are opposable.

  24. Jeff Goldstein says:

    And while we’re at it, why does she always get to be on top, anyway?

  25. LagunaDave says:

    I think you’re giving the frigid bitch too much credit.

  26. Kent says:

    Alright…enough exposure to edible mucillage for today.  The fumes are making me dizzy.

    Translation:  “My D&D group always starts noon, sharp… and this kewl 5th level bikini-clad elven bard/mage figurine’s been burning a hole in my pocket all blamed week LONG, baybeee—!”

  27. Pablo says:

    Books, Pasties, are not for children anymore.

    Q. Whose kids are doomed to growing up stupid?

    A. Look “Up There” ^^^

  28. [Not] Hattie says:

    You don’t think I actually read your posts in their entirety, do you?

    Thanks for keeping up the side while I’m Off.  Saving Democracy.  Er, socialism.

  29. Scrapiron says:

    I assume that most people on here are employed or business owners (the conservatives anyway, liberals on welfare) so what would happen if 4 out of 5 things you did at work was wrong? Would your employer just agree with you and keep paying you? Evidently that’s what happens in the media world. I’m giving them a break with the 4 of 5 wrong, it’s probably a higher failure rate and the same failures keep putting out the wrong information on a daily basis. This can’t possibly be an accident. They are lying and the lies are sanctioned by the organizations they work for, or everyone in the media world graduated from the same failed liberal college.

  30. LagunaDave says:

    Evidently that’s what happens in the media world. I’m giving them a break with the 4 of 5 wrong, it’s probably a higher failure rate and the same failures keep putting out the wrong information on a daily basis.

    Oh come on.  If you read this site regularly at all, you know they’re not wrong.  They’re just communicating a higher level of truth – one beyond the ken of us unwashed proles and paste-eaters.

    If reality doesn’t conform to their narratives, why then, so much the worse for reality.

  31. George S. "Butch" Patton (Mrs.) says:

    Cuz nothing says tough guy from the gay ghetto of the Great White North like getting dizzy from the non-existent smell of library paste…

  32. Kent says:

    Cuz nothing says tough guy from the gay ghetto of the Great White North like

    … the name “Gordon Lightfoot.” LOL

  33. rls says:

    I’ll bet Up HIs is one of the terminal BDS patients that actually lived up to his promise to “leave the country” if Bush got re-elected.

    If so, I salute him for following through on his promise (threat?) and hope that he can convince others to follow suit.

  34. Hmmmm…. Do you need warrants for deportations…

  35. Tom W. says:

    To my Canadian friends:

    The Islamofascists give you two choices: die on your knees, or live on your feet.

    I say that because they can’t beat us militarily, politically, religiously, philosophically, socially, or economically.  They are the weakest enemy we–and that includes you, O Canada–have ever faced.  They have bestial savagery going for them, but that’s all. 

    The only way they can win is if you refuse to fight them.  If you fight them, you will live.  If you surrender to them, you will die.

    Make your choice, and let us know.  We’ll be here.

  36. Up There says:

    The Islamofascists give you two choices: die on your knees, or live on your feet.

    I guess it escaped your attention that our intelligence service and federal police apprehended the alleged terrorists.

    Seems to me someone else needs a little advice.

    Anyway, you people are getting battier by the day, so we’re closing the borders.  Yes, I know you don’t care, you don’t think of us, Canada’s not a real country, we’re all gay, etc. etc.  Therefore, it should be a mutually-satisfying arrangement.

    Trade will be maintained by closely monitored and secure conveyer belts.  Heavily discounted anti-anixiety medication will no longer be available.

  37. George S. "Butch" Patton (Mrs.) says:

    Man, he musta blown right through his 5th level bikini-clad elven bard/mage’s hit points to get back here so soon.  Better stay away from the craps tables at them Indian casinos, Up There…

  38. LagunaDave says:

    I guess it escaped your attention that our intelligence service and federal police apprehended the alleged terrorists.

    I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what this guy was babbling about, so I consulted Google.

    I wouldn’t blame anybody who’s skeptical, but apparently it’s true:

    Perky Canada Has Own Government, Laws

    Check it out for yourselves.  I found the article very informative!

  39. 6Gun says:

    I guess it escaped your attention that our intelligence service and federal police apprehended the alleged terrorists.

    Whew.  And good thing you don’t pay all those taxes selectively. Or allegedly. 

    Eh?

    tw:  The best defense…is a parsing, weak-kneed, self-loathing and conflicted hive of deranged moonbats.

  40. actus says:

    The Islamofascists give you two choices: die on your knees, or live on your feet.

    Most people that they kill arne’t on their knees.

  41. Up There says:

    Man, he musta blown right through his 5th level bikini-clad elven bard/mage’s hit points to get back here so soon.  Better stay away from the craps tables at them Indian casinos, Up There…

    What does that first part refer to?  And I don’t gamble…it just doesn’t interest me.

    I ended up commenting again because Pasty’s Paste Soufflé post was mildly amusing…and frankly, I was shocked!  But then, all the witless commenters made all their witless rejoinders and the whole thing became, in aggregrate, witless…so I decided to come here and poke at some hapless and humourless wingnut xenophobe.

    Hey, at least I don’t eat paste.

  42. thelinyguy says:

    Please tell me this guy’s a sock puppet for some cheap sunday afternoon entertainment? I didn’t think real people actually talked like this. I always feel like I’m in a zoo for exotic animals when I visit this blog and some haughty lefty shows up. He even used the word xenophobe! Heh.

    Maybe if I throw some bread at him he’ll call us bible thumping fascists.

  43. What does that first part refer to?

    How much of a shut-in do you have to be not get a D&D reference?

  44. And the host country where Muslims have not caused a problem is?<b><i>

  45. McGehee says:

    Hey, at least I don’t eat paste.

    One word: poutine.

  46. but from angry young Canadian Muslims opposed to Canada’s presence in Afghanistan and its tacit support of U.S. policy in Iraq and Palestine.

    “Tacit” support? So, what, was Canada using some kind of fucking hand signals or what?

    And thanks to everyone who posted those other bits from him. They clearly demonstrate that Margolis is an apologist and a propagandist who is simply on the other side.

    Normally I’d suggest to the Canadians that they fit Margolis for a burkha and sell his pink ass to a Pashtun warlord. Every now and again people like Margolis need to be reminded that western liberal capitalist civilization is the only thing that keeps people like these “young muslims” from owning them. But fortunately for him he’s far too unserious to warrant any such attention.

    :peter

  47. actus says:

    AHA!  ENTRAPMENT!  See?  I just knew somebody’s civil liberties were violated.

    When you’re clearly wrong like this the only possible saving grace is if its funny.

  48. Old Dad says:

    Margolis’ Canada–

    Maple Leafs Akbhar!

    You hoser. Don’t scream when I saw your head off.

    Ice dancing is hell in a burkha.

  49. 6Gun says:

    …if its [sic] funny.

    Are Canadian telephone poles made of the same wood as Brazilian legal pads?

  50. George S. "Butch" Patton (Mrs.) says:

    Robert Crawford — The kind of shut-in who doesn’t even read the posts of the people he’s criticizing…

  51. MarkD says:

    We simply don’t understand the rules here:

    The Islamists are going to attack us, because we’re weak.

    If we fight back, they’re going to attack us.

    If we are to afraid to defend ourselves, they will attack us.

    Hasn’t our Canadian correspondent clarified this sufficiently?  If it were up to me, I’d send Madeline Albright to dance with them.  I mean didn’t that work with North Korea?

  52. jdm says:

    I ended up commenting again because Pasty’s Paste Soufflé post was mildly amusing…and frankly, I was shocked!

    Most Down Here react to amusing things by being amused not shocked. I guess that unique and ever fascinating Canadian culture is more inscrutable than I thought.

  53. Bic says:

    I’ve read most of Margolis’s articles for the past few years and have to say he’s taken his anti-Bush stance to a level usually reserved for Ivy league academics.  Every article (except one from last week which really stood out for that fact) somehow relates back to American involvement in Iraq or Afghanistan, even when they have absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand.  It’s almost like playing a little game to see just how he can turn whatever the subject of his current editorial around to blame Bush.

    He also relies quite heavily on far left sources for his arguments which can be clearly seen in his reprinting of long debunked facts and figures. 

    One article was so full of blatent unfounded left-wing propaganda that I actually went to his site to update it with some of the facts with links (thankfully he does allow comments).  I can’t say I was surprised not to receive any response from him.

    I really don’t know how he even pretends to be a journalist anymore.  He should have quit the print media and moved to the CBC long ago.

  54. Up There says:

    Most Down Here react to amusing things by being amused not shocked. I guess that unique and ever fascinating Canadian culture is more inscrutable than I thought.

    Oh don’t be so parochial.  I’ve travelled all over the United States; no one there is ever really very amused; they’re all dyspeptic and hissy, like you.  You all do laugh an awful lot, though.

  55. jdm says:

    Oh don’t be so parochial.  I’ve travelled all over the United States; no one there is ever really very amused; they’re all dyspeptic and hissy, like you.  You all do laugh an awful lot, though.

    You’re drunk right now, aren’t you? It’s OK, you can admit it. You have no idea what I wrote about nor any idea with what you responded, do you?

    You do spell well tho’. For a drunk, I mean. Especially those words that don’t really mean what you think they mean.

  56. OHNOES says:

    Shorter Up There: “I act more bemused, thus I win the argument. Except there is no argument, because I’m so much smarter than you all, because you disagree with me. QED.”

  57. OHNOES says:

    Slightly Shorter, More Graphic Up There: “Okay, okay, I do masturbate thinking about how … how superior I am. It is great.”

  58. Master Tang says:

    Oh don’t be so parochial.

    That – that is pure comedy gold!  A Canadian is telling someone who doesn’t live north of the 49th parallel to avoid parochialism.

    Dude – that pale imitation of a shadow of anything close to a national identity that your Dominion has is expressly defined by being parochial.  Now run along and collect your Canadian Tyre Coupons while waiting for the latest iteration of Da Vinci’s Inquest, eh?  Rest secure in the knowledge that that line from the most favored of your many anthems still holds true:  “We stand on guard for thee.” Of course, pre-1945, “we” would have been HM’s government in London; since that time, it’s been us knuckle-draggers down here.

    (It’s not that we mind being your enablers, but sometimes you hommes du Nord go a little too far with that whole whiny adolescent passive-agressive shtick.  You can still live up in the attic for a while longer, until you grow up a bit.  Just bear in mind that like Quebec, we remember.)

  59. OHNOES says:

    TMI Up There: “Yeah. I’m doing it right now. So what?”

  60. George S. "Butch" Patton (Mrs.) says:

    I’ve travelled all over the United States; no one there is ever really very amused; they’re all dyspeptic and hissy, like you.

    OK. Anyone want to speculate on just where in the US Up There has traveled?  I got dibs on the Village, West LA and San Francisco…

  61. LagunaDave says:

    I’ve travelled all over the United States; no one there is ever really very amused; they’re all dyspeptic and hissy, like you.

    With an attitude like that, we’re never gonna let you guys be a state.

  62. LagunaDave says:

    (Except maybe Quebec, since it would be cool to have a large, whiny Francophone minority to oppress)

  63. – They don’t have to be oppressed… they come on thier knees already bundled that way…

  64. Kent says:

    I’ve travelled all over the United States; no one there is ever really very amused

    Then you obviously didn’t drop trou often enough, while you were touristing.

  65. Swen Swenson says:

    Maybe it’s the altitude? Compare the headline article in today’s Winnipeg Sun—“A bag of ammonium nitrate was displayed by police as they revealed that an “al-Qaida-inspired” group of mostly Canadian citizens …”—yep, quotes around al-Qaida-inspired, to the headline article in this morning’s Calgary Sun—“THE AL-QAIDA inspired homegrown terrorist group police say they smashed was plotting to bomb “hard” government targets …”. No phony quotes there, just the bald-faced facts.

    Likewise, heres the lead editorial by Rick Bell from this morning’s Calgary Sun (since supplanted by an article on the death of a highly decorated war hero):

    Call it what it is. This is a war. An underhanded evil campaign planned all over the world where we are the enemy. Not just the few folks serving in our uniforms. Not just the powerful politicians who make the decisions we like or don’t like, support or oppose.

    We are the enemy. You, me and the family down the street.

    Yes, there are those who believe if you die or your kids die or some soul you don’t know, who happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, is blasted to an instant grave, then the world will somehow be better, some supposed oppression will be relieved, some twisted virtue will be advanced.

    It is total crap. But total crap is always a big seller. Why not someone selling madness against us?

    As they say, read the whole thing. It will warm the cockles of yer heart and show that all is not lost in Canada. Canada can for damn sure keep Quebec (or not, but why would we want it?) but could we puhlease trade Massachusetts for Alberta? I’d trade ‘em Teddy for the Bronc in a heartbeat:

    The arrests linked to alleged elaborate plans of destruction should be a wake-up call to Canadians who think Canada is immune to terrorist threats or attacks, Bronconnier said.

    TW: Because there are still plenty of folks in Canada who aren’t complete bliss ninnies!

  66. Beck says:

    update ”Canadian Islamic Congress Blames Canada”

    Did someone say Blame Canada?

    Sheila: Times have changed

    Our kids are getting worse

    They won’t obey their parents

    They just want to fart and curse!

    Sharon: Should we blame the government?

    Liane: Or blame society?

    Dads: Or should we blame the images on TV?

    Sheila: No, blame Canada

    Everyone: Blame Canada

    Sheila: With all their beady little eyes

    And flapping heads so full of lies

    Everyone: Blame Canada

    Blame Canada

    Sheila: We need to form a full assault

    Everyone: It’s Canada’s fault!

    Sharon: Don’t blame me

    For my son Stan

    He saw the damn cartoon

    And now he’s off to join the Klan!

    Liane: And my boy Eric once

    Had my picture on his shelf

    But now when I see him he tells me to fuck myself!

    Sheila: Well, blame Canada

    Everyone: Blame Canada

    Sheila: It seems that everything’s gone wrong

    Since Canada came along

    Everyone: Blame Canada

    Blame Canada

    Copy Guy: They’re not even a real country anyway

    Ms. McCormick: My son could’ve been a doctor or a lawyer rich and true,

    Instead he burned up like a piggy on the barbecue

    Everyone: Should we blame the matches?

    Should we blame the fire?

    Or the doctors who allowed him to expire?

    Sheila: heck no!

    Everyone: Blame Canada

    Blame Canada

    Sheila: With all their hockey hullabaloo

    Liane: And that bitch Anne Murray too

    Everyone: Blame Canada

    Shame on Canada

    For…

    The smut we must stop

    The trash we must bash

    The Laughter and fun

    Must all be undone

    We must blame them and make a fuss

    Before someone thinks of blaming uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus!!!!

  67. Kent says:

    You all do laugh an awful lot, though.

    Well… be fair, though.  Canadians do continually trundle along the public walkways and thoroughfares, as hopelessly out of their communal intellectual depth in the comparatively advanced civilizational surroundings as so many slow, sleepy mountain bears, shambling down into the city after a long and sulky hibernation.

    At least we don’t actively point while laughing, any longer.  Grant us that much, at least.

  68. Master Tang says:

    Bless you for that, Beck.  It inspires me to revive this classic from the internet’s own Frank J., of IMAO fame – Know Thy Enemy:  Canada

    My personal faves are:

    * Canada is still technically owned by England and has to dance for them when commanded.

    * That happens usually three times a year.

    and

    * Canada holds up a sham democracy to try and be accepted by the civilized world, but in fact all real decisions are made by their moose overlord.

    and finally

    * If a Canadian ever tries to express an opinion about America, hit him on the head with a rolled up newspaper while shouting, “No!” You have to catch them in the act or they’ll never learn.

  69. maor says:

    “tacit support of U.S. policy in Iraq and Palestine.”

    Huh? And I thought Canada wasn’t doing anything whatsoever about the Middle East.

    Now I know that it’s “tacit” support of the US. The wily devils!

    TW: england

    Really.

  70. I think by “tacit support” they mean Canada didn’t declare war on the US for removing their close ally Saddam.

    Or something like that.

  71. Alan Kellogg says:

    We really should remember Canada’s close proximity to a more powerful, culturally agressive nation. A nation that threatens to overwhelm Canada’s cultural identity. A nation more vital, more assertive, more self-assured. A nation able and willing to promote itself against everything Canada tries to preserve her cultural uniqueness, Japan.

  72. George S. "Butch" Patton (Mrs.) says:

    Maor — Remember, the Evil Canadian Zionist Oppressors *snork* actually cut their financial aid to Hamas.

  73. mojo says:

    I still say they should be called “Canadans”, not Canadians. Either that, or call the country Canadia. Either works for me. Let’s have some consistancy here, please.

    SB: age

    grumpy old bastard

  74. Nyet Mofo says:

    c’mmon margolis – you dip$hit- you missed this one!

    This scenario is plausible.  These angy young muslim chaps were opposed to the publication of the racist and bigoted muhammed cartoons.

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