*must credit protein wisdom*
I’m not sure how much credence to give this—after all, Leopold has been about as effective in his reporting as Arianna Huffington’s been at convincing people she’s ever even seen a corn dog—but if there’s the slightest whiff of truth to it, this could keep Geraldo and Greta employed for another couple of months. And anything that does that is like manna from heaven, man. Sent by freakin’ God!
Developing…
Gaww, this is the fourth time I’ve wet myself in anticipation!
This can’t go on!
FEAR THE IMMINENCE!
oh, is that why i didn’t get to sleep til 5 a.m. last night? tonight ain’t looking so great either.
Obvious flaw:
Natalee was an Alabama babe.
Rove would seek to reduce the blue state gene pool.
Anyone hailing from Massachusetts missing in France? Other than Teresa Heinz Kerry on a bender, I mean?
Meanwhile, a mysterious armadillo several witnesses claim to have seen in and around Natalee’s hotel room around the time of abduction is still wanted for questioning…
DEVELOPING!!!
BECAUSE OF THE 666!
TW: You got a PROBLEM with that, take it up with Rove’s Master – THE BEAST!
Flash: Backhoes, manned by FBI/DOT investigators, are scheduled to dig up Karl Rove’s backyard(actual time table yet to be announced). It is rumored that evidence pertaining to the disappearance of Jimmy Hoffa will be the object of the search. Traffic in the cul de sac will be reduced to one lane during the work. Look for heavy traffic throughout the area. Expect delays.
That is all.
BREAKING HARD(LY)!!!
Wow. These Realityville “news cycle” are huge, man.
I think I’m so far in front of it that I’m behind it.
Sun collapses to dwarf star. Rove unindicted. Hollaway still missing. Bush still Hitler’s illegitimate son. You read it here first.
Oh, I forgot. Buffalo still 0 for whatever in national championships.
This from Natalee’s mom:
“Rove! You BASTARD! I knew it was you!”
…
Ok, I just made that up. But it COULD have happened!
SB: subject
In a related development, Karl Rove has evilly signed an evil contract with the new CW network to star as the evil mastermind in the new 8th season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. In the premiere episode of the series, helmed at Rove’s request by Berman and Braga of Star Trek fame, he rises from hell and evilly refuses to let Willow and Kennedy get married while evilly stalling the FEMA response to the Sunnydale crater so he can evilly sell off the mineral rights in the pit to his evil minion Cheneyburton. Because he’s just that evil.
– Hollywood Minute: 6/6/06 (Sound of woman shrieking)
– Rove to star in remake of old classic “Attack of the giant NeoCons”. The up-coming indictment by Fitzgeralds office will be used in an Ad campaign, and the studio said it will shoot around Roves jail time, utilizing Karl’s weekend work release days. Anti-war babe, Cindy Sheehan, has landed a cameo in the action-thriller flic, showing her giving a quickie hand job to Ceasar Chevez in the back of a 71’ Volkswagon minibus.
….End Report – 6/6/06 – (Sound of woman shrieking)
I believe that would fall under the fake, but accurate category.
He also evilly re-arranges obstacles on sidewalks so people who lack depth perception constantly smack into street signs and lamp posts.
And he continues to deny Dawn a personality, because he just likes keeping a clone down.
Cue the projectile vomiting. Thanks.
I’m with you Verc… good thing lunch was a while ago.
BREAKING!: The repeated use of the phrase BLONDE BIKINI TOP causes Nancy Grace’s eyebrows to fly off her forehead!
MUST ERASE IMAGE FROM BRAIN — ARRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!
Cindy Sheehan, reminding straight think hot, gay hung-like-a-Shetland anal-luving is not the worst thing in the world since 2005.
Cindy Sheehan, reminding straight men that hot, gay hung-like-a-Shetland anal-luving is not the worst thing in the world since 2005.
[Drops to knees and screams, “You Destroyed It, you bastards! You destroyed my comment!” If only Jeff’s zionists buddies would allow him to have a delete comment button, I would not have to commit sepukku out of shame for screwing up a lame gay joke.]
Y’know, Jeff, sometimes I get the feeling that Rove isn’t really about to get indicted after all.
This is just cruel.
Y’know… that actually does sound more interesting than the overall story arc for Season 7…
Oh hell kelly…. Yee of so little faith…..
TW: …. The minutes turn into mellenia, our apple orchards all die and topple, but we stand shoulder to shoulder in anticipation of the enevitable…. (pass the popcorn)…..
HERETIC! BLASPHEMER!
BURN HIM!!
SB: areas
51 at last count
When you get marked with the number of the beast, just don’t call her back.