With my mother-in-law arriving in town in just a few hours, I’ve decided that in lieu of doing a lengthy and substantive post, I’m just going to put up something short. Like this.
That way, I’ll have time to vaccuum up the Cheez-It crumbs, keep you all flush with new pw content, and find myself some pants.
And a shirt. And some socks and underwear.
****
update: Oops. Turned out I was completely dressed this entire time. Now? I’m a study in layers. I blame the Klonopin.
Looks like me and that puckish benzodiazepine are due for a serious sit down…
***
update 2: Seems some poor, rough-edged soul is a bit confused about all this. Which, I imagine, is not all too unfamiliar a feeling for him.
Work through it, brother! And don’t worry if you look a bit crazed in the meantime. After all, I’m here to exercise your mind, man!
Isn’t it time for some dancing?
Shorter Jeff Goldstein:
OMIGOD MY MOTHER IN LAW IS COMING!
AHHHHHHHHHH!
Don’t you mean, “Isn’t it time for us to be teased with the possibility of some dancing, only to have our hopes mercilessly squashed”?
Oh, don’t forget to shave either.
Hide the ‘dillo . . .
No. There will be dancing. Someday, there will be dancing.
– My hopes will only be hopes mercilessly squashed, if one of these Fridays someone doesn’t take that “Dan Rather heir apparent”, Marvin Kalb, out behind the Boar and Hound, and beat the crap out of him.
OMG pajmamas meida is teh newd bolggerz!!1!!!!!1111
You right-wingers simply refuse to accept responsibility for yourselves. It’s really quite sad… well, sad and funny at the same time. Sad, of course, because, none of Gaia’s creatures deserves to be an object of ridicule for one’s failings – but funny too in a ridiculing rightwing fascist Bush-lovers makes my heart go pitterpat with excitement.
Mr. Happy is happy too. This is really a win-win.
Answer the damn question Goldstein…do you eat the cheez-it or just flick it onto the floor?
I wonder if the 5 second rule is applicable to this scenario?
OMG wer is teh open thred, newd bolgerz??/////?????/
Bingo!
or some such.
I find this whole matter very ….. dispositive.
~ hic ~
.
My god, they truly have no sense of humor. I thought that was a running joke. No wonder they’re so angry all the time.
i left a comment on his site. i got this:
Your comment is awaiting moderation
on a site that uses the work “punk”
DIY my ass
They’re funniest when confused.
Thanks for the entertainment.
Wow
Such hate and vile from the party of tolerance. I thinks they have truly unraveled
Jeff,
stalking might be next. Watch your back. These nuts have it out for you….
Todd….
jeez. they are lame over there. It’s like doing a real estate deal with puppies. i’m more challenged in an average Fark thread.
/peace out
That’s exactly the kind of insight you expect from a blog called ‘PunkAssBlog’. It’s great how they call you G*ldstein. You know, because using your full name would scare the poor kids.
Are you kidding me? The guy has been running a a pledge drive for the last week. Do you really think he’s wasting perfectly good Cheez-it’s just because they got caught in his man patch?
Although I would caution him, I ate a couple black olives and a half slice of bologna leftover from a Subway Italian BMT I had for lunch and I’m still trying to hack up a hair I got caught in my throat. It’s always a good idea to at least look at what you pull out of there before you eat it.
And hovercars. They promised us hovercars.
They are there MgGehee….really….right there….little hover cars with bunnies, floating all around you… You just need some Liberal “prospective” to see them….honest
Dude, putting on clothes before your mother-in-law comes over? Totally insane and conformist, man.
Greeting your m.i.l. at the front door? Fucking PUNK R0X0RZ, D00D!!!!!!!!111!!!11one
TW: black, the only color I wear, because it represents my soul.
Greeting your m.i.l naked at the front door, that is.
Making blog comments while drunk? Too punk for words.
Punkassedblog reminds me of one of those porn theaters you went to occasionally when you got fubar’d in college. The one where you stood in the little room and fed the machine quarters. Your feet stuck to the floor and even though you’d blow a 0.28 if given a breathalyzer, you still knew not to dare touch anything. After you’re back safe in your car with the doors locked, that little voice started in on your ass saying, “Hey, dipshit, I know you hit the 25 cent tequila shots a little hard tonight…….but what the fuck were you thinking going into that dive?” Anyway, I want to thank punkass for providing the ambiance of a cheap porno flick with his blog and for bringing back the creepy, semi-nauseating afterglow. I gotta stop being so curious about these pagan bastards.
Well, I can help with the hovercraft…
But the mother-in-law? Sometimes problems solve each other.
“Hi, Mother Missus! Oops, lost our lease, sorry you can’t stay, let me run you back to the airport before the plane leaves again…”
They had to do some little cut and adjust thing in the hospital years ago.
To calm my protests they supplied a little intravenous sodium pentathol.
That was the sweetest trip I ever had.
What confuses me is there is no need for torture anymore if SP can be used. That stuff will have you donating your jewels if they say someone could use them.
Really, that stuff is the truth syrum of all time. No need to send any Taliban to the ME for squeeze talk.
SP will make them gush with *the scoop*.
So confusing… Leads to kissing mother-in-law and bizarre friendly attitude. TG
Does the “layered look” mean you put the underwear on last? Now that would be cool!
At least you got past, they wouldn’t even let me post, lol.
When Marcotte said “Your left nut died in 1977?”
I replied with: “Any excuse for a party, huh, Amanda.”
and got rejected. Isn’t it sweet how they try and protect poor little Amanda?
Homer: “Mmmm, sodium pentathol.” *drool*
B Moe:
Same thing happened to. So much for an open forum eh? Freedom of expression my ass….
Over there: “Your comment is awaiting moderation”
Odds that it will appear?
That post is absolutely stunning. Insignificant in and of itself? Sure. But the mind reels at the possibility that someone wrote it believing (at least in some cases, correctly) that his readers would accept his disingenuously literal interpretation at face value.
Not shocking, on the other hand, is that Amanda Marcotte – apparently taking time out from pondering whether the curvature of her iPod was designed to appeal to the male fixation on impossible standards of feminine beauty – was one of the commenters / defenders.
– Who the hell is Amanda Marcotte, and why is she fondling the curviture of her Ipod?
– Truth to wet dreams?
Big E  yer presoomin’ that hair was yours, son. Coulda come with the sandwich…
I love the update over on Punk[sic]assblog:
Talk about taking a knife to a gunfight… this guy has shown up at a battle of wits completely unarmed.
“Jeffrey Von Crapington”? Ouch. So edgy it practical SLICES.
I mean, that’s just so freakin’ punk rock, you know?
Tell you what: if he emails me the name and email address he commented under previously I’ll unban him so he can defend himself here.
I have no idea who he is. I suspect he fancies himself more of an antagonist than he actually is.
And he thinks I’m outmatched? Christ. I sprinkle sugary confections like him on my french toast and eat them for breakfast with a big glass of ice cold 2% milk.
Elegance, I like that.
Backwoods canuk by contrast fold these guys into a burnt pancake with sausage and backbacon and swill it back with Cheap blackberry wine.
Then,leaning back in the chair against the wall,
lights up an Italian crook cigar and after about fifteen minutes leans raising one buttock to allow for gassy relief.
Now that*s dispatch. TG