“ONCE UPON A TIME, in a Red State not far away, lived a man who refused to admit that BUSH LIED!
“And so it came as no surprise when, as a just universe demands, this blinkered wingnut was struck by lightning on one of his afternoon jaunts to bend the handlebars on the neighborhood children’s bicycles and awoke to find himself in Hell—red and blistered as Maureen Dowd’s ass after a weeklong Caribbean cruise. And it was then he learned he was to be sodomized in perpetuity by Richard Pearl and Paul Wolfowitz. Once those two evil neocon fucks finally kicked, that is.
“And all was right with the world.”
~finis~
Hmmmm.
Add about 20,000 words, some more anal pounding and a few references to Gore, Global Warming and Chimpy McHitlerburton and you’ve got a New York Times bestseller right there man!
Or a Daily Kos diary post.
So, this is what I have to look forward to?
Who blistered MoDo’s ass?
red and blistered as Maureen Dowd’s ass
There were so many ways you could have gone with the simile…the children thank you for your understated choice.
Instant classic.
“A MUST READ!!!”
To defeat these liberal one-line talking points is quite easy. Simply debate them on principle, rather than facts, since they won’t admit that any of the facts you present are true.
When debated on principle, they will retreat with amazing haste.
Everyone loves Bush, really. They think he’s a swell guy, but just not terribly good at his job. Like Jimmy Carter without the peanuts. beetroot should be along to explain it any moment now.
Fukuyama doesn’t get any candy ass.
If you think that’s harsh, you should see what Satan does to link whores.
Shouldn’t he be forced to listen for eternity to looped recordings of Al Gore pontificating on the treachery of GW and the horrors of global warming as he’s being sodomized by neo-cons?
Or perhaps the bleatings of a Howard Dean campaign speech?
Or perhaps the schreeching, nasaly, harpie-shrewness of a Hitlery Clinton anti-Bush stemwinder?
Or Jacque Chirac extolling the superior virtues of the Francophile Republic and all things French?
I mean if he’s really in Hell, you’re kinda letting him off easy without at least one of those.
Finally! The light came on and I could see!! I now know what El Bosco was trying to say in that triptych.
Boy, those neocons have been around a long time.
Personally, this neo-con’s version of hell would be waking up to a naked Heken Thomas every morning.
Whatever hell you wish to construct, there can be no doubt this would play a part in it…
http://www.peace-not-war.org/Music/AniDiFranco/
yes, but are Richard Perle and Wolfowitz black?
Because that would be shitty, but poetic.
Ha! I knew it.
Hell is going to be full of Jooooos.
That’s great and all, but what does this have to do with Natalee Holloway?
I heard that neocons do it in Iraq.
What the hell?
There’s no smithy-fetishizin’, sublimated kid-wankin’, wandering handlebar-bender on Sesame Street.
(Seriouslyâ€â€I don’t get it.)
Ass-fuckin’ Jews.
Personally, this neo-con’s version of hell would be waking up to a naked Heken Thomas every morning.
Thank you for permanently reducing my heterosexuality by three percent.
Well…you know what “they” say – them Joooooos know how to make a buck.
I prefer to work on the does.
A chilling vision of things to come!
I saw in my local rag (NY Times lite) that MoDo is on Rummy’s ass now. Still looking for a man…
Why does the phrase “sodomized for perpetuity” bring her to mind?
Trust me, there is no connection whatsoever between Helen Thomas and heterosexuality.
Sex between a man and a troll is bestiality.
So much for actus’ sex life being legal then.
So when can I buy the discounted edition from the Human Events bookstore?