—No, I didn’t forget. But if you want the truth, I simply can’t find the little guy. No note, no email, no messages on the answering machine, nothing.
Normally, I’d be getting a little worried about now, but when I went to the fridge to grab a snack, I noticed that my bucket of Corona Light minis was missingâ€â€along with a foot long roast beef and cheddar hoagie, and a jar of pickled herring.
I also noticed a sleeve of condoms missing from the bedside table – but it could be that maybe I’m just forgetting about a lot of protected sex I’ve had over the last month or so. And besides, who in the hell is going to make it with a randy armadillo whose breath smells of fish, onion, and white wine?â€â€no matter how persuasive the little bastard thinks he is when he’s pouring on that southwestern charm?
Thanks for that, Jeff. I shan’t be sleeping easy tonight. Not with that image floating around the old brain pan.
Oh, and if he isn’t adverse to a little bump and grind with rodentia – I suspect a Nutria wouldn’t be bothered by his unique breath.
Ladies and snappy dressing males may want to wedge a chair under her or his front doors and bedroom entresses/exits.
Jeff, your little talk with Senor ‘Dillo may just have taken. Congrats.
I just noticed my epileptic midget is missing…….
Major, I think the carnal knowledge of Nutria by drunken Armadillos is a sign of the Apocalypse.
Jeff, what are you doing with Corona Light minis???? Did the Little Guy (“Let me introduce you to my Leetle Guy!) (I’m sorry … was that insensitive?) drink all the Guiness too?
Even so, Corona Light minis???? Man, I gotta get back to Texas.
Another wingnut address, for lefty harassment pleasure:
A. Dillo
161 E El Camino Real
Sunnyvale, CA 94087-1937
So, an admission…
I don’t get the whole “little guy”, “armadillo” thing. Anybody want to fill me in?
…And yes! Ladies and gentlemen!
We! Have! A! Winner!!!!
Flying so hard over the edge of horror, he was runnin’ on air like Wile E. Cayote!!!
Brilliant!
Tim Lambert. He obsesses easy.
In the summertime, there’s just something about that bucket of crisp Corona Lite or Rolling Rock minis. All jammed into ice.
They’re like little ultra-cold chuggable alcoholic bits of HEAVEN!
“Alcohol…….the cause of and cure for everything”—Homer Simpson
Maybe he’s in Montana? You know, with your real family?
sw: pie. Whaddaya know? All the time I’ve been coming here – I finally got pie!
Beer. What can’t it do?
Homer Simpson
“It tastes great. It makes women appear more attractive. And it makes a person virtually invulnerable to criticism.” Mayor Quimby.
KM,
Obviously you haven’t had any direct experience of, in fact, how extraordinarily dangerous the minis are.
You cannot nurse a mini.
You cannot casually sip a mini.
You cannot have just one.
And…there’s a 90% chance whenever two or more persons are involved that you will be chugging multiple minis. Even if they’re only 2/3 the size, you get drunk at least 5/3 as quickly.
I had an ice beer for the first time. I admit it. I like it. I think it was Bud Ice Beer. Maybe, it was at just the right temp and it was warm outside. If they made those in minis, I would suck a bunch of them down.
Hey, is a mini a pony?