Garrett: “Eh, what’s to tell, really? Orange jumpsuits, all-male showers, fatty foods served cafeteria style on plastic plates—it’s like they’re sending me back to high school in the 70s again. Only, y’know, without the heroin and primo herb.
“Plus, I won’t lie to you: the chances of Barbie Benton getting drunk on Champagne and using her foot to get me off like she did at Elaine’s in ‘79 are virtually nil at this point. Though on the plus side, I’ve always wanted to take some time away from the spotlight to grow a really full beard…”*
****
(h/t DrSteve)
It’s a good thing he’s not as pretty as he once was.
T/W Uncle Leif, why do you have boobs tattooed on your back?
Almost like Manson there with the scum on his forehead.
There’s another Hollywood has been in drug rehab –Brad Renfro??
I actually feel sorry for his poor, dumb ass.
‘Cause I’m a compassionate conservative.
uh-huh.
But what we really want to know is can a ‘dillo dance in an orange jump-suit.
Or will there be more excuses Mr. GAYCOCKPORNOFLIESPIEMAN?
Yeah, that’s what I thought.
The ‘dillo is probably watching clips of old roller-disco joints on VH1, sipping tequila fanny-bangers, and saying to himself, “Man, if I only coulda been there!”
I wonder if Mr. Garrett gets any royalties from his brief appearance in the Bee Gees/Frampton Sgt. Pepper movie. Look for him…the crowd sing-along at the end. Quite moving. Rumor has it he snorted coke at the film’s wrap party through George Burns’ hollowed-out cane.
Why even bring up the ‘dillo? I’m convinced my odds of having a night of hot sex with all the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders are better than my ever seeing that little critter dance in this lifetime.
he’s already got the drug addict facial sores. poor guy. and we can see why you wore that doo-rag, baldy
/bald himself
Wow, it used to be fun to troll here, now all you got is hard hitting Michele Malkin level social commentary on a washed up celebrity?
[Clearly you haven’t been around here long enough to recognize that this is part of a long, ongoing series. But I’ll save you the disappointment of being forced to read my site. Sound good?
TOODLES! – ed]
Thanks a lot, Jeff. Just aged twenty years in the last five seconds. Now what did I do with those dentures?
When Leif busts contain here in a couple of weeks, he ought to look up Whitney Houston. I hear she still has a top-shelf supplier.
Was that an “Ed” I saw the bouncers hauling out the back door to beat the crap out of in the alley?
Oops, nope. A “Fred”.
Doc Gooden gets a year and a day, and this schmuck gets 45 days?
UMBRAGE!
I’m convinced my odds of having a night of hot sex with all the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders are better than my ever seeing that little critter dance in this lifetime.
Have you asked them Lew? C’mon. The answer is always “no” if you don’t ask. They’re cheerleaders for Christ’s sake! Get in there!
Would it betray my age if I said Barbie Benton was a fantasy? I mean long ago, in another universe, of course.