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Today being Friday, Jeff, we thought maybe&#8212

—Feh.  I haven’t even seen the little guy in 3 days.  But if I had to guess, I’d say he’s on his way to San Diego to catch tonight’s Rockies – Padres game.  At least, that would explain why I’m missing my Rockies’ beer coozie, along with my tailgating chair, a cooler, two bags of pork rinds, and a case of India Pale Ale. 

Oh.  And a sniper’s rifle and night scope.  And a box of hollow-tip ammo.  Which I certainly hope he isn’t planning on using to, as he might put it, “take some of the bite out of Jake Peavy’s slider.”

Because the truth is, he can be quite competitive for a Xenarthra.  In fact, I once saw him beat a squirrel to death with a piece of cherrywood just because the furry little rat took two out of three from him in a rock paper scissors match.

11 Replies to “Today being Friday, Jeff, we thought maybe&#8212”

  1. mojo says:

    The Sqrat probably had it comin’…

    Ya gotta get your props, dude.

  2. Have you conductde an extensive psychological evaluation of Xenarthra populations, jeff?

  3. Man Friday says:

    One of these days, the armored rodent will bust a move, and I’ll be here to see it.  Come on and get down with your bad self!

  4. me says:

    I’m beginning to think the lil’ fecker is Jeff’s version of the 6’-3 1/2” púca named Harvey.

  5. Sticky B says:

    he can be quite competitive for a Xenarthra

    I’m not sure that’s much of a complement. I’ve seen a lot of those fuckers four paws up on the side of the road. They don’t compete worth a shit with asphalt and automobiles.

  6. Wickedptino says:

    He paid to see a Rockie’s Padre’s game.  I think the man is residing in his own form of hell.

  7. I’ve seen a lot of those fuckers four paws up on the side of the road.

    mmmmm, yes, i saw one today, soooo tempting to stop and pick him up, he was in much better shape than most i see.

  8. Major John says:

    Because the truth is, he can be quite competitive for a Xenarthra.  In fact, I once saw him beat a squirrel to death with a piece of cherrywood just because the furry little rat took two out of three from him in a rock paper scissors match.

    So I guess I should ask him for a game of checkers then?

  9. in plonk portentious... says:

    Hey, don’t diss the Scrat, man!  He is, like, Everymammal: he wants so little from life and goes through so much shit to get it…

  10. Beck says:

    I finally figured it out.  You’ve always secretly envied cat owners their Friday catblogging prerogatives.  This is your answer to them–a means of demeaning the whole Random Friday Animal Themed Meme that seems to have taken such a strong grip on the blogosphere.  Don’t think I won’t report you to the authorities (by which I mean Laurence Simon).

    Subversive bastard!

  11. Shecky "Vegas? I died everywhere now" Greene says:

    Speaking of random animals, Ice Age 2 is a hoot.

Comments are closed.