—Meh. Not gonna happen, I’m afraid. When the little guy slipped out of his shell for a 12 pt EKG this morning, he inadvertently caught a glimpse of his reflection in the stainless steel tip of the nurse’s stethoscope. And, judging by his reaction—he burst into tears and cursed the maker’s of Cajun Jerky and Yoohoo—he won’t be shoveling his folded gut bulk into dance leotards anytime soon, I don’t think.
Though on a positive note, he’s finally agreed to give steamed broccoli a go. Before today, he’d only eat the stuff if I deep fried it for him, then tucked it at the bottom of a bowl of “Velveeta soup.”
I hope you keep him away from an open flame after eating all that broccoli.
At least I won’t have to clean this one up for the little girl. Although, maybe I ought to take out the Velveeta Soup.
You know Jeff, she asks every Friday evening or Saturday if the armadillo danced.
I really think she would be disappointed if he did.
Yeah, I’d think twice about the steamed brocolli, it could give him the wind something fierce.
I say bring back the monkey.
To heck with dancing. Stuff him with broccoli, then get him to curl up. Voila! Self-propelled cannonball!
Jeff is the monkey
We are the monkeys
Jeff is the ‘dillo
Goo goo g’joob
If he cries or not, make sure he eats your cooking, otherwise he will get picky. L’il kids are stupid.
(disclaimer)
Granted YOUR kid must be a mind already competing with einstein, that is WHY he must be the small burden you so joyously face and answer, and willing to challenge you so early in his life (my ass covered yet?)
Feed him what you like, what you like to cook, what your wife likes, and what your wife likes to cook, and AVOID at all costs, common fast food, the easiest way to do that is to make GOOD homemade hamburgers, and such.
Food is an IMPORTANT thing. I was, KINDA, passed around in my childhood, and I developed a pallate at an early age, I STARTED thinking about food, if a kid THINKS about something as basic as food, you think they will start to THINK about other things?
Just a suggestion, though I’m sure your kid needs NO help, already, he is able to split atoms just with his mind, and in the years-a-coming, he will teach you and his mother, though you just won’t get it
Kids are BEAUTIFULY stupid, while being BEAUTIFULY brilliant about humanity. I have no kids, I have a lot of cousins, and NEVER, did I hold them, play with them, when they didn’t teach me a thing about human nature.
WIRELESS DOOHCKEY UPDATE [Jonah Goldberg]
The Couch and I are in our nation’s capital now. We took I-70 out of Lincoln to 75 near Knoxville to 95 up around Greensboro. If I may be allowed some sentimentality here, I’d like to thank our brilliant and generous NRO readers for their recommendations on the proper GPS system to use. The Altec system X-2300 offers the most feminine voice of any navigational aid, sultry yet authoritative, reminding one of those fleeting moments in the womb when all is well and America is grand.
Anywho, we came across what can best be described as a “ghetto slut: – sorry, non-white walker for the liberals, ha ha. She claimed to be a CONGRESSMAN. Yeah, right and my left nad is the Prince of Persia. You cross the street at your own peril, honey.
Consider this a bleg for defense attorneys in the DC area. And, please, I don’t think Lionel Hutz operates outside of Springfield.
Jonah Goldberg | 03.31.06 – 11:20 pm | #
JG,
Stay on topic please. I mean, what does that have to do with velveeta?
I’d long admired those bricks of Velveeta in the supermarket, encased in their corrugated glory, but at $7 or so, they were always just beyond my reach, so I had never savored their smoothness.
Then one day, in WalMart, they were priced at $2.37, what a deal! I couldn’t resist! Alas, it seemed like only months before that green stuff took over…
“Velveeta soup.â€Â
mmmmm, i may just learn to cook for that.
If you can’t get enough of Jeff, there’s extra, double-plus Jeff available here:
http://roxanne.typepad.com/
Enjoy!
Yeah, I been workin’ out too. After about a month of fighting traffic, 45 minutes of grunt work, and back again every other day I can now chest-press… 70 pounds.
I hate exercising.
Still, I gotta get rid of the “muffin top” somehow…
Oh, and for the ‘dillo: why not make him dance anyway? Order that plated roadstain onto the exercycle to build up teh cardioh, and the legs + general stamina.
TW: first they came for the monkey, and I did not speak out because I still had the dillo to spank…
rls: I think that is so cute.
Yay to Jeff for providing wholesome entertainment for kids!
Like the site very much, thanx 4 your efforts webmasters