Of course, it’s an homage filtered through the nuanced minds of our uber-tolerant social betters who perhaps consider me some kind of thorn in their side (“Ha! You don’t bother us one bit, Chickenhawk Jeffy! We just think you’re a paste-eating moron and a warmongering hater who is also stupid and untalented, and we like to express that artistically by NOT ignoring you! Besides, you stay at home with your son when what you should be doing is ENLISTING! Pathetic HAUSFRAU!”), but hey, you know their motto: “if you can’t laugh at yourself, someone else, who can you laugh at?”
Of course, it IS April Fool’s Day. And I appreciate the time Roxanne of Rox Populi must have put into this. Though, let’s face it: it ain’t like her dance card would have otherwise been full…
****
update: Oh my good Christ! Beside all the talk I’ve heard today of having thin skin for, well, linking back to the very parody site I’m supposed to be all torn up about, now comes Pandagon’s Amanda Marcotte—the closest thing we have to a tedious and neverending rewrite of the Vagina monologues—to add the ironic capper:
For a lot of right wing bloggers, politics is just a way to lash out at the cool kids for not letting them sit at their lunch table with them oh so many years ago.
To which I say, listen, honey: I’m really sorry nobody invited you to the prom—which I’m certain is the source of this kind of laughable projection.
But looking back, can you really blame them? I mean, what guy in his right mind would want to spend the wee hours of the morning having some bitter, long-suffering ideologue read Gertrude Stein to him while his rented-tux tucked erection (already dubious, given the company) is folding up tent and trying to make a run for his own asshole?
You have no one to blame but yourself for those lonely lunch table days, Amanda. You are foul, mean, and your commentary is cookie cutter feminist boilerplate. The fact that you mix in a lot of profanity to shock people doesn’t make you edgy. It makes you look pathetic and needy.
But hey, your mileage may vary.
An example of the supposed intellectual superiority of our betters on the left no doubt.
Humor isn’t a bother. Its a delight rather.
It’s only rather lame .. not even amusing.
Sad, really.
NOT ignoring!
Liberals haven’t figured out obsessing about you is not a strategy to take back the house, so why bring it up now?
ah, just another liberal gal who hasn’t figured out that liberal men are jerks…and doesn’t know how to deal with her rage. I feel kinda sorry for her
*clicky*
Jeff,
I think they love to pile on because you respond, and your responses are hilarious.
I did find the site quite funny. I also think it’s good that you’re sporting enough to link to it and respond. I’d advise you to lighten up a bit and recognize this as good clean juvenile fun….but naah!
Stay the way you are. That’s what your fans as well as your detractors want.
Send her flowers.
BLARGG.
(Meh.)
You’re understandably upset because the PW Enigma Code was finally cracked. Although the AI that produces the Turing words still eludes us.
P.S. I actually burned my own dance card in the early 90s in protest the First Gulf War, or the price of Sub Pop CD singles going up. I forget. What a cob-nobbler!
I toyed with posting some of Roxanne’s private emails to me, but I’m just going to let it go.
Incidentally, you guys do know that I stay home with my son now, right? Geez. How fucking pathetic am I?
“How fucking pathetic am I?”
I used to think quite a bit, and then I noticed the blog awards and the graduate work, and I changed my mind.
How’s the dog’s asshole, by the way?
Hmmm.
Is it homage or envy? Difficult to tell really.
sw: of course it depends on the meaning of “is”.
Same as last time you ordered it. And I think your exact words were, “Damn. That’s some tasty dog’s asshole!”
As someone who has had the “dog’s asshole” on a regular bais, I do agree that:
Don’t let her get the recipe.
Seriously, she’s gonna have to have a sharper knife than that if she’s gonna carve out anything like a Protein Wisdom post.
tw: wife – The wife is partial to the ‘dillo balls – jellied of course.
Mostly lame except for the PeeWee graphic and the haiku. The haiku was actually quite good. There may very well be hope for her yet…
:peter
Quite a lot of effort for very few laughs. But I’ll give her a “5” for the attempt.
Column width: That most difficult of design challenges.
I had to give her a “5” when I bet her she couldn’t fit my cock and balls in her mouth.
Money well spent.
April Fool’s
And then I decide to look at her picture.
Goddam!!! You don’t even joke about something like that.
I’ll be taking my acid bath. Hold my calls.
The peewee graphic was over-edited.
Otherwise, somebody kind of had a grasp of the form of things, but not much idea of the substance.
It’s actually a parody of a misapprehension, which is why it’s not so funny.
You could actually parody Jeff’s blog, I’m just not sure that’s what this is. More of a parody of what someone who can’t stand to read Protein Wisdom “because it’s too wingnut icky” thinks the site is about.
It’s like Actus described the site to someone and then they parodied Actus’ version of Protein Wisdom without visiting the site.
Or maybe the parody was really done by a “wingnut” parodying what they thing the “moonbats” think of this site.
Layers, man. Layers.
I had to give her a “5†when I bet her she couldn’t fit my cock and balls in her mouth.
Who said the Right ain’t funny?
Swallow, bitch!
April Fool’s
Column width: That most difficult of design challenges.
And there’s where she’s got you bang to rights, Jeff. Your columns are too narrow. When you quote text, and especially when that text quotes text, it becomes difficult to read. I don’t have a lot of patience for reading your longer, more thoughtful posts, so I usually bail early and head straight for the juvenile comments.
So, in summary: Protein Wisdom—Long, but too narrow.
You can’t be too careful on April Fools.
Remember Sid Finch! Remember Gregory P. Josefowicz!
Fathom all possibilites for irony carefully!
1)Is this an April 1st whoopee-cushion rebuttage that parodies in homage?
Or 2) is it a parody of a snark as a whoopee-cushion rebuttage intended to be an homage?
Or 3) is this a mock as a whoopee-cushion rebuttage as an homage?
Or 4) is it a mock as a parody of a snark of a whoopee-cushion rebuttage intended as an homage?
Or…
Pie, I just wanted the bloomin’ pie!
I promise to drop all my severe, ascetic , and otherwise politically correct lifestyle choices and now partake of a Hostess Fruit Pie—in apple, cherry, pineapple, lemon, blackberry, strawberry, or French apple.
http://roxanne.typepad.com/rantrave/
If you’d like to comment directly on Rox’s real web site.
I dunno, I thought it was pretty funny. But that’s just me.
Actually, the Hillary/Nancy McKeon bit is funny too, especially the comments.
I got a pretty good chuckle out of it. But then again, that’s just CraigC.
I resemble that remark, BRD.
PW commenters never fail to make the case for feminism stark and irrefutable.
Oh look, I have a doppleganger.
Jeff, would you please edit that comment at 1:31 so that it at least doesn’t have my email address attached to it? If you’re feeling especially sporting, would you also send me the IP address that it was posted from?
I love the blogosphere! And Jeff’s dog prefers ketchup.
Oh, and the p-a-r-o-d-y site is sorta funny, mostly because it’s actually parody instead of the usual ridiculous daydreaming that passes for satire from the left these days.
And irony is wasted on cheap gin and dirtweed.
Dude, sorry that every woman who’s ever seen you naked couldn’t choke back the laughter. But does that mean that you really can’t take a joke from here on out?
NO, bring it on!
You are quite the bully, Jeff. That’s what I like in a man. Someone who cowers behind his readers and whines that the mean girl pointed and laughed at him, hoping they can beat her up for him.
[ed- by linking to her, I’m a bully? Sorry. Thought she wanted the attention. And how exactly am I cowering behind my readers? And how does that fit with the bully thing? And why are you here? Seriously? Hasn’t Bush lied yet today? Go! FETCH!]
I think she just envies your facial hair and this is her high school way of getting attention.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a spoiled crybaby in all my life. Do you have to run to your mommy every time you get an owie?
[Again, I linked it after somebody placed the link in my comments. Isn’t that why she did it, attention, traffic, etc? How does this make me a crybaby? I’m going to Target and Watching Weekend at Bernies]
Removed it, Pablo. IP is 24.175.142.246
Pretty good as homages go. It’s like when Jessie’s band does the cover of “Free Bird” in Elizabethville.
Last year Michelle Malkin actually had some dignity about it. But we always knew Michelle was twice the man you are.
[Do you WANT me to take down the link? What’s the problem?]
Jeff,
We all know you wouldn’t use your fatherhood as an excuse to duck out of serving your Nation. You’d do it regardless…
Fred Bieling
SPC, NYARNG
TFES/EOC
Wow, talk about way too much time on her hands, this Roxanne chick needs to get a life.
Funny? Not even close. More like pathetic.
BECAUSE OF THE HYPOCRISY!!!!!
To echo what someone else said above, who knew Michelle Malkin would be more capable of taking a joke than Jeff Goldstein?
Thank you, sir! You are a gentleman and a scholar.
Herndon, VA?
Is that you, Karl? You motherfuc***…
I’ve seen a number of parodies of JG, and it’s obvious that all of the authors have actually studied his work. Which, I think says something positive.
Those of you who didn’t enjoy the parody site need to lighten up. While it’s a bit disturbing thinking about how much work went into it, the end result is f’n brilliant.
I am thoroughly impressed.
Auguste, Jeff is supposed to kvetch. It’s part of the schtick. If Richard Lewis just sang “Shiny Happy People” would you watch? No.
If Michelle just made nice with Jill and Lauren and Atrios, would you watch? No.
Read the menu, eh? It’s what’s for dinner.
Why do I keep getting dragged into this shit?
It’s the love, Lauren. If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t even mention you.
BECAUSE OF THE LOVE!!!!11!!
All of it, really.
Lauren,
It’s because when the usual cultivation of alleged intellectual superiority in response to someone else’s “cultivation” (I mean, come on, someone is intellectually superior)- when that gets old, there’s always the faux “all my enemies are predictable outrage bots produced by some moonbat algorithm”(FETCH!) (a comment that will be lauded sycophantically by a gaggle of cobags of various degrees)- and when THAT get’s old, there’s always the fetishized, fantasized sexual obsession with the liberal internet woman, whose sex life and practice is certainly up for comment, I mean how could it not be? Why would a woman dare comment on the internet? I mean QED, cobags? Why wouldn’t the presumption of some chick-pile of Malkin etc etc etc be on the table?
Once irony is dead, its time to get hip deep in a goddamned Hostess peach pie! With a hatef*ck fantasy playing on the two brain cells being rubbed together!
Jeff, clearly you’ve struck a nerve. Half-assed unfunny parody is tied for the 17th best form of flattery, alongside crude drawings of you xeroxed and stapled to phone poles near your home.
Don’t go changin’, babe. You provoke your enemies in the most amusing ways.
I’m still trying to fuigure out how PUBLICIZING the ribbing you’re taking becomes evidence that you can’t take a joke.
Another day, another WTF?
Your mistake is assuming that the moonbats are sane and capable of rational thought.
Only in the sense that the human need to stare at train wrecks says something positive about train wrecks.
Wow. Amanda managed to get through a comment without dropping the word “cunt.”
Finishing school is really agreeing with, Amanda!
Now go make me a sandwich.
Yeah Amanda, that thing about train wrecks is the only thing that keeps me going to lefty sites.
But the top lines belong to the tools who seem to think that giving the linky love means Jeff can’t take a joke.
WTF??
I wonder how many hours this took to dream up.
I had to give her a “5†when I bet her she couldn’t fit my cock and balls in her mouth.
Etc. etc. “prove I’m not gay†bullshit…
“PW commenters never fail to make the case for feminism stark and irrefutable”
I find this so laughable. To be sure, I am as disgusted as the commenter, but feminism is what got us to this point. Are they just blind to that?
And where is Jeff whining? The left constantly does this. They make stuff up and then screech about the stuff they made up.
Feminism alone is respnsible for the phrase “suck my dick.” Haven’t you seen that awful feminist Demi Moore movie?
St. Amanda of Fornicatus is the embodiment of the “strawfeminist” that other feminists say doesn’t exist.
Truly, I could feel pity for her.
Jeff, I just gotta point this one out. Of Amanda, you wrote:
But in the paragraph immediately above that, you suggested that her date’s penis was likely:
…which I think can be fairly said to match the commonly understood description of “foul.” Then you added a little personal twist, suggesting that the prospect of A’s date having an erection was
… which is, quite clearly, an attack on A’s looks, which, regardless of any provocation, can be said to fall within the commonly held boundaries of “mean.”
So you’re both foul … you’re both mean … hmmm …
I’m still not sure about that one.
Ah, yes, indeed. It’s a cycle of violence, isn’t it? I mean, forget the provocation. Forget the history. Just point to the two quotes, pretend identical circumstances generated them, and draw equivalencies. Simple!
Oh, and while you’re at it, go read the rest of her post. Sorry I’m not above the fray like you, beetroot. But the gal sickens me.
Beetroot, if Jeff had said that Amanda’s date was eating his own shit, that would be foul. As it is, the gentleman is fictional, no?
Ever try reading Pandagon? That would clear things right up for you.
Seriously, is there anyone who isn’t on the movon.org mailing list who considers Marcotte is…well…intelligent? So, she hooked up with someone who was brown-nosing atrios & thus coattailed on some traffic. Big whoop.
Let me know when there’s something present that I can’t find in the comments section of the dailykos (posted by a jilted, ugly, drunken user). Why give drive-by artists such as that any sort of attention?
?
Man, that’s the funniest thing she’s ever said.
I mean, seriously, if your idea of the “cool kids” are those that would later became Chuck Schumer, Michael Moore and Cindy Sheehan, you must have attended Saint Mary’s of the Hopeless Dweeb.
And if what you say is true, why do so many Kos kids whine about Bush’s “arrogance” and frat-boy image?
Hmmm, maybe because that’s a world you were excluded from? Maybe?
If Amanda’s first awkward band camp grope, wasn’t had at the expense of a guy who, at the moment of his sadly premature loss of “hit points” at least caused him to stop referring to her as Uhura, I’ll vote for Hill.
beetroot, the difference, if it’s not obvious, is that where Jeff uses vulgarity and “meanness” somewhat selectively, Amanda pours venom out on her targets in waves of pure emotion.
Regardless of what you think of his politics, Jeff is a scalpel wielded by a trained professional; Amanda is a broadsword flung about by a novice in the hopes of overwhelming her opponents by sheer brute force… with all the dangerous side-effects that implies.
There really is no equivalency between the two, at all.
Oops I forgot to add Protein Wisdom to my blogroll!
But I heard JG was a really nice guy in “real life” too bad he spends most of his time ministering to a bunch of chunkwads that start a run on Lubriderm if the wind hits 25 mph outta Jeffie’s Cakehole. You make ME a sandwich, Failure.
etc. etc.
Temper temper! Does somebody need a nap?
I did get a laugh out of the Hillary Clinton/Nancy McKeon colloquy.
The Moral of this Story:
Those who can’t satirize,
parody.
:peter
Nobody insulted her looks, it is her vapid, venomous personality that would shrivel most dicks within seconds.
Quick Jeff! Hide behind my skirt! US COMMENTERS WILL PROTECT YOU!!!
hey jeff, why don’t you quit picking on women? If you want a challenge, bring your pinky behind to loaded mouth :D
Loaded Mouth? Is that a porn site?
You want Jeff to load your mouth with his “pinky behind” (wow, scathing)?
That’s just gross.
HAAA… you are so funny peter.
no Loaded Mouth is not a porn site, but hey if that is what it takes for Jeffy to visit, then so be it. But he should be warned, there is only one woman poster than he can be sexist with…
more than one woman would probably scare him away though.
:D
For everyone complaining about Jeff’s “whining”, what exactly do you want him to do?
Do you deny this post, where he links directly to the parody, is anything other than a typical PW post?
Loaded Mouth- Empty Brain.
Mark, the provocation-cum-link-whoring is pathetic.
HAA!…. wow B Moe made a funny. Someone mark the date and time!
Dr. Steve, wow big words…… HA!
Mark seems to me the kind of guy who would rush in to “defend” the poor little womenfolk, both because he thinks them incapable of doing it themselves, and in hopes of scoring.
Which is ironic since any man who is wishing for Jeff to give him a loaded mouth is clearly gay.
Which is fine, if that’s the way you are.
Ooooooookay, so Loaded Mouth is some kind of club that can’t get any women to join and you want Jeff to drop by because…???
The internet is weird.
Good Lord, ‘Mark’
Jeff actually points out a rather lame ‘joke’ site, we all have a few snorts over it and it’s Jeff picking on a poor defenseless womyn?
Holy Mary Mother of God, I thought if womyn could dish it out they could at least stand some fingerpointing and giggles.
Ah, the Party of Toleranceâ„¢ is so like the Religion of Peaceâ„¢!
Wow, is this supposed to be comedy?
Because your not funny… but hey keep trying!
Wow, Darleen…
i bet your dick is longer than mine….
:D
Mark
Did your parents block your MySpace and that’s why you’ve decided to hang here?
Mark, your blog is one of the most boring, inane collections of half baked opinion and junior high school wit that I have ever laid eyes on. You can’t even do vitriol worth a damn, and any old hack can do passable vitriol.
Your writing makes Alec Baldwin look eloquent! You’re just not good at this blogging thing, Mark. Please stop.
ouch… oh… your personal opionions hurt…
please stop…
wait, you make me laugh. HA!
Darleen, isn’t your birthname Daren?
Pablo… ouch. So???
Well time to go… thanks for the linky dinky Pablo, but if you wanted a conversation you should have left a comment…
I expected more from here, i dunno why….
opionions? Is that why my eyes are watering?
Hey, you go trolling for comments like that and the cool kids won’t let you sit at their table.
(Although, it should be noted, if you’re still using high school as your frame of reference, you probably have the answer as to why no women are at your site.)
Ohhhh, GOOODDDD!!! Will you people end it, finally?
“You’re a right-wing blogger because nobody liked you in high school!”
“Yeah? Well you’re a left-wing blogger because nobody liked you in high school!”
We’re all bloggers, people! Nobody liked any of us in high school! Get over it!
Pablo- what’s the URL of Mark’s blog?
Is it https://www.proteinwisdom.com/?
Why is it that Darleen always seems to get into fights with bloggers from Loaded Mouth?
And to “Beer goggles in a time of internet muscles” who asked if “Loaded Mouth is some kind of club that can’t get any women to join and you want Jeff to drop by because…???”, no. First all, plenty of women drop by. Secondly, Jeff G. himself has also dropped by a couple times. You know, blog wars and stuff. The usual.
Personally, I hope Jeff doesn’t drop by again because I’ve got a long list of things that I find much more pleasureable to deal with. Mark can pick any fights he likes, though.
As for the parody website that Jeff “Mr. Sense of Humour” Goldstein wrote this post about, I thought it was hiliarious and quite deserved since Jeff is one of the biggest assholes on the internet. Buut I also dread to say that and support the parody site because Jeff is also one of the biggest eggomaniacs on the internet, and I know that April Fool’s parody sites and comments like this one are the things that Jeff gets his jollies offf of.
I think Mark might be catching on.
People are staying away in droves for a reason, buddy.
Stop back sometime after you’ve ground your keyboard into dust, k?
Wow. Who’da thunk Jeff had a fetish for waffles?
And for the record, I don’t think Marcotte is an altogether unattractive female, physically speaking. It’s her acidic, profane mouth and attitude that makes her abysmally unappealing.
So of course you go out of your way to post on his site.
Oh dear God.
If you are going to ridicule somebody, at least get the important words right.
Once again the left ventures out from the nether regions and reminds us how utterly useless they are.