—‘Fraid not. In a show of solidarity, the little fella agreed to have himself biopsied right along with me today, and the bandages on his undercarriage restrict his range of movement (particularly during splits).
If you need a fix, though, I hear Saturday Night Fever is pretty good. That is, if you don’t mind white polyester, platform heels, and feathered hair in lieu of the furiously-twirling, lathered and musky armor plating of a creature so fully to committed to his art that he doesn’t think twice about wearing leg warmers and a spandex body suit into biker bars—just so long as the jukebox boasts either Michael Sembello (or, in a pinch, Soft Cell’s “Tainted Love”).
But hey—life is filled with compromises. And I, for one, appreciate the sacrifice the little guy made on my behalf. Woulda brought a tear to my eye, too, had the cheap bastard not asked me “to kick in a few bucks for gas money” on the way home.
”…if you don’t mind white polyester, platform heels, and feathered hair…”
I thought your armadillo looked like that.
Hope your moles are benign.
I hope the Doc didn’t just biopsy the little bugger but cut it completely out. Not that I know how such things are taken care of. Anyway, no odd splits for me tonight either. I forwent my yoga for a few Strange stouts at the local pub this evening. om…
Wait a minute – you let him drive? I thought he was still trying to get his license back from that suspension…
Ah, memories…
TW: Everyone is doing their part
A “show of solidarity”?
Nice pun.
Ouch.
Ok, that’s it. I’m going up to Denver, and I’m gonna kick that little fucker’s ass.
I’ve got an appt. next month with a dermatologist to take a closer look at a somewhat red, 6mm spot on my leg. Solidarity brother, Solidarity.
Uh, Jeff:
1) Stay/get well.
2) Has the ‘dillo ever danced? That is, here?
3) Through what medium would his prances be presented? Were you offering video, pix, or just talk about his Super Disco Breakin’ (a b-boy, I presume, given his antecedents)/Regency minuet stylings?
3a) If a ‘dillo dances and no one sees him, is there still a reddish-green smear left behind when he falls and cracks open his shell?
3b) Is he on your insurance? Or is it all about Darwin and Mother Nature don’t placate?
4) Speaking of antecedents, unless you have already gone through the Aubrey-Maturin chronicles of Patrick O’Brian, why don’t you PUT DOWN THE DVDs AND READ SOMETHING?!?!?
4a) BECAUSE OF THE LITERACY!!!!!!
4b) The dreck you watch (not always…but The Conversation? Dozed off twice), if not reading, why not catch up on your 24? And I hear good things about this new CBS show The Unit.
and lastly,
as Jack Aubrey always says,
No, lastly, again, be well. May the Lord bless thee and keep thee.
Spandex? Leg Warmers? Biker Bars? Perchance twas a Nancy kind of place. Andrew Sullivan comes to mind.
TW: I hope that CraigC shows up cause that little Dillo doth tax my patience too. Shit, I’ll even kick in for gas.
Isn’t there some kind of transcription for the li’l feller’s choreography? What does he specialize in – Modern Jazz, Tap, Ballet, Disco, Hip-Hop, the Frug, what?
TW: Obviously too hot for mere mortals…
Good riddance.
The MOLE, I mean.
– Only as long as the stage door is closed and pad locked, and the auditorium is empty except for Jeff. Its in his contract, the little shit….
Maybe you should trade him in for a turtle. We wouldn’t expect as much from him.
TW: I bet you didn’t expect the soviet inquisition!
BBH, son, you worry me. A Lovecraftian wash of cold horror just settled over my shoulders. Or at least Stephen King-like,
Nichevo —
When I was studying for my PhD orals, I read for 20 hours a day over the course of a month. While I lived in Italy, I read just about all day and (thanks to the espresso) all night.
I can’t WAIT to get back to reading—I have a stack of books that are ready to be cracked—but until we move into a new house and I can read in the bedroom (right now, the kid sleeps in there with us), the DVDs are my only refuge. I watch them late at night when the wife and son are sleeping.
Reading on the couch? Just not my thing. I’m a bed reader.
But don’t you worry: I’ll be poring over Eco and Stephenson and a host of others I have piled up in a few months. Knock wood.
Funny you mention it, I am working on my B.Sc thesis, on Management Philosophy in the Royal Navy. 20 hours sounds about right, I went to sleep at 6am yesterday, dizzy from etexts.
Like Jack Aubrey can sleep anytime-anywhere, I can read anytime-anywhere. In truth, from all the drama, I had half thought you were laid up in a body cast from your mole ordeal
so bed would be where you’d be at.
I don’t say don’t watch movies but while I admit that a goodly number of the films you cite (and to some extent those you sell off) are ones I’ve enjoyed or would see, many, well…chaque a son gout.
You could probably answer this though -how bout that Philip D’Antoni who made Bullit and French Connection? What else was he involved with? I bet everything he did was interesting.
But there are your good 60s and 70s films and there are your bad ones. Hey, I got one for you – did you see The Anderson Tapes? (Or read anything by the author, Lawrence Sanders?) Might interest you.
TW: I wouldn’t impose my opinions and badinage on a sick man if I felt you would take it the wrong way.
So, like, are you sure the little guy wasn’t just hosing you to stay up so he could catch probably the first full frontal nudity scene on (sorta) network television? (#6 on BSG finale, SciFi channel)
yeah, the episode is available on iTunes.
tw: the armadillo only thinks he’s a force to be reckoned with…
20 hours a day? That all? And lying in bed with an espresso at that. In my day, you read around the clock with nothing to drink but your own urine while in the lotus position on a wet, concrete floor or you didn’t read.
In other news guaranteed to make Jeff feel good, The Economist put an oh-by-the-way blurb in their front section that the EU concluded its investigation into those SECRET CIA FLIGHTS To (allegedly) TORTURE PRISONSshowed that the CIA broke no laws, in any of the countries involved.
quell surprise!
The US may be an Imperial Force Hell-bent on Asserting Our Hegemonny Everywhere, but at least we’re polite about it.
Good luck with the results of the biopsy.
What do you have in the queue by Eco? It’s crossed my mind before that you might be a fan of his. I’ve only read two of his novels and one essay on semiotics, but I thought I detected a similarity in your more commonsensical approaches to interpretation.
Foucault’s Pendulum was a hoot. “Monsieur, vous etes fous.” It’s become an inside joke between my wife and I that the Rosicrucians are behind everything that happens. Any random reference to Templars, Masons, Rosicrucians, or related secret socieities, is enough to cause us to exchange knowing looks and raised eyebrows.
– Hey yeh…. come to think of it, after that twilight zone-like episode of managing to “wrangle” the family jeep to the top of that Firestone watertank in Golden, I thought his driving days were over. But you give him the keys anyway. No wonder he never dances. Hes made you his bitch. Scandilous!
Nichevo–
Yes, Anderson Tapes is one of those secret gems—Sean Connery, earlier Christopher Walken…
Ardsgaine —
Foucault’s Pendulum (along with Gravity’s Rainbow) are my two favorite novels. I have Island of the Day Before and Baudolino lined up.
I also really enjoyed Stephenson’s Crytonomicon (some of the others, as well, but that was his best, I think), so I’ve got the Quicksilver trilogy waiting in the queue, as well.
Plus there’s some Philip Roth I need to catch up on.
BS–
Yeah, got that alert and was planning on posting on it today.
Sad, isn’t it?
Jeff,
I have to tell you that that non-dancing land lobster does continue to amuse and make happy one six year old girl.
While driving to dinner one evening some time ago my granddaughter wanted me to tell her a story. It just so happened it was a Friday night and the only thing I could think of quickly was the “‘dillo that wouldn’t dance” and I told her the story of the ‘dillo’s handler (Jeff) and the myriad disappointments of the audience when the handler would come on the stage and give the latest excuse for the ‘dillo not appearing.
We now have a Friday evening or Saturday afternoon tradition of the latest “‘dillo excuse”. Of course I have to clean some of them up. Just to let you know that you not only give us that read the post a chuckle, but it does spread.
I did hear on the radio this morning about a treatment for a “mole problem”. Appears that the chemicals that golf courses are using will be available to the consuming public next week or so. Guaranteed eradication. What? Different type of moles?
So what did the dermatologist SAY, goddammit!?
By the way, Ardsgaine, I *am* a Freemason, and we’ve been doing that wink,wink,nod,nod thing for years.
Ah – a fellow travler – Shiboleth Charlie
Jeff,
Have not read Gravity’s Rainbow. I have Island of the Day Before on my bookshelf. I’ve been meaning to read it for a few years now.
I haven’t read Stephenson. The Baroque Cycle looks very interesting.
Hope the ‘dillo doesn’t defect with the mole.