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My fourth brief conversation with Tucker Carlson’s trademark bowtie

me: “Just out of curiosity, has Tucker ever, y’know, pulled any tubes…?”

Tucker Carlson’s bowtie:  “What, you mean has he ever surfed?”

me: “Well, that too.  But I was thinking more along the lines of, has he ever, like, smoked any reefer with his conservabuddies?”

Tucker Carlson’s bowtie:  “Oh.  Well, no, not that I’ve ever seen.  Though for what it’s worth, that guy can suck down some serious frozen strawberry daiquiris.  He’s like some sort of metrosexual vacuum cleaner.”

me:  “I see.”

me:  “NO FURTHER QUESTIONS, YOUR HONOR!”

16 Replies to “My fourth brief conversation with Tucker Carlson’s trademark bowtie”

  1. Jeff Goldstein says:

    AND YES, I LOVE MY MULLET!

  2. Robert says:

    me: ”So, uh, just for the record, it wouldn’t be possible for Tucker to, you know, hook me up?”

    TW: it’s all about building networks, man.

  3. JD says:

    rimless glasses: So, bowtie, wanna come over for a little Cosmobondage with me and Jeff?

  4. Gamer says:

    Frozen daquiris, Jeez. Brain freeze is a big buzzkill.

  5. mojo says:

    conservabuddies?

    Is that like, y’know, as gay as it sounds?

    SB: purpose

    dollfin

  6. ken says:

    “like some sort of metrosexual vacuum cleaner”

    Ummm…that sounds like a blurring of sexuality to me.

  7. – There are no metrosexual vacuum cleaners in a fox hole…

    TW: Heres too all the gals that “gave at the office”….

  8. topsecretk9 says:

    AND YES, I LOVE MY MULLET!

    I’m still dying for one of these conversations with Joel Stein’s old mullet.

  9. Tman says:

    John Stewart in the back bench: “That Carlson, what a pansy. I would lick Hillary’s taint on the desk of the Daily Show if it would make GW look worse. You call yourself a PATRIOT???……..”

    Mm…has anyone discovered the magic of iced Jager and Root Beer?

    I haaavvveee…..Not necessarily stoned, but uh….beautiful…”

  10. Major John says:

    Nice – I can’t wait for the cross-examination, then the redirect…

  11. Sticky B says:

    Tucker Carlson vs. Anderson Cooper

    Texas Iron Cage Match on WWE

    Who wins?

  12. Lydia says:

    You’re weird.

  13. Lew Clark says:

    Yeah,

    But “Regis” took a bunch of UN types to a Knicks game.  What kind of cool field trip has Carlson’s bowtie ever come up with?

  14. natesnake says:

    conservabuddies

    Do you know the difference between a friend and a buddy?

    If a friend gets two blowjobs, he’ll come back and give you the whole story.

    If a buddy gets two blowjobs, he’ll come back and give you one of them.

  15. natesnake says:

    conservabuddies

    Is that the same as a pair of Log Cabin Republicans?

  16. TonyGuitar says:

    Looking for dirt, but with a respectable ability to suck down strawberry daiquiris one finds a persona of no small honour.

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