After careful consideration, I have decided to give being a hermit a try—at least for the rest of today. To that end, I’ll leave you with this, which I call “The Hermit’s Haiku”:
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update: the novice hermit emerges, momentarily, to ask that you please support the single-testicled arts.
Now, GET OFF MY LAWN!
Bravo! Bravo!
I laughed! I cried! I shared it with my gay sheepherder significant other!
GET OFF MY PROPERTY!
Fantastic in its minimalism. Bravo!
“‘Remember Chappaquiddick!’”
Damn! I can’t get the haiku to load! Somebody tell me what it says.
You would not agree with or understand it.
Can you be a hermit, if technically you are not alone in the house? I’m assuming your son, and the armadillo, are over there somewhere.
Oh, and smarty pants hermit mispelled “either.”
Probably can’t spell “phlogiston” ether, er either.
__
Last Guinness quaffed, the
Armadillo gently snores
and dreams of dancing
Can anyone else load Ace of Spades HQ?
You missed a spot.
My computer must be messed up – I’ve got the blonde’s haiku.
Nah, that’s just the white-out on your screen.
TW: that’s got all the bases covered
Double check the second line, dude. Not enough syllables. Hello!?
Very artsy, Jeff. Didn’t John Cage write a score for that haiku?
T/W: actually, there wasn’t one.
this sucks. i’ve been reading my own blog for two hours. and i plan to continue until i pass out.
you’ve got blood on your hands hermit.
White text on a white field
Cryptic message in hiding
I squint to read it
TW: All it said was woman.
The syllables work out okay in Japanese.
Balls.
Er, ball.
Too many lines in that haiku. And it does really scan properly, as others have pointed out.
But we have nowhere else to go.
Isn’t that obvious?
I hope all the cool kids don’t think less of me when they find out I didn’t order a copy of “The Bottom Buster”.
Regards,
Ric
Here’s someone waiting for your next post. Hopefully in the morning.
You do good work here.
TW: Enough of this, already.
Where’s the seasonal reference?
Not even the glowing promise of underwater mutilated-genital hijinx can tempt me past ZYZZYVA‘s cheese-o Wild Party Girls informercial hucksterism.
Lookâ€â€even if the whole multiverse chips in on one copy, $2.00/∞ still ain’t “FREE.”
Say “two dollars.” Capitalize it, even.
Don’t make me buy McSweeney’s just to make a point here.
Cos I’ll do it, man.
Eerie. That sounds just like my neighbor. I think he needs to learn how to say it in Spanish, though.
‘Course, if I was him, I’d just build a fence.
I think that would be
‘Cause the hermit lives in snowbound Colorado, y’see. Lawns don’t exist year-round like they do in, say, the steamy sub-tropics of west Georgia.
Jeff,
Thanks for the pimp, man.
f