From The Straight Dope’s Staff Report, Jan 20 2006:
Dear Straight Dope:
Ever since I took sex ed in high school I’ve been wondering: How exactly do men get STDs from women? The gym teacher explained that STDs are transmitted in body fluids and, as far as I know, men don’t intake bodily fluids from women. Can you help me out? –Josh
Guest contributor Mojave66 replies:
Pardon the metaphor, but while a gusher may be spectacular, a swamp can be just as wet.
Transmission from females to males is dependent on a lot of factors such as open sores on the penis and vulva, vaginal trauma in women and circumcision in men (non-circumcised males have a higher risk of penile cancer). Female arousal includes a lubrication phase that squeezes water out of vaginal cells through vasodilation. The lubricant that forms is mostly water with a mix of squamous vaginal cells, cervical mucus and small amounts of blood. Luckily for us women, that can help reduce the risk of transmission to partners since more lubricant keeps the vagina safe from the cuts and scrapes of enthusiastic partners, and therefore less blood is introduced into the mix. It pays to keep your girl happy.
On the plus side, though, I learned to sew a throw pillow during Home Ec, and if called upon to do so, I could probably still forge a flatnosed screwdriver with enough fire, a solid base, and a hammer…
Well, so much for eating lunch.
Thanks.
So, I guess it balances out then.
Oh man, where has this guy been?
Katarina Witt was unavailable for comment.
Vagina=swamp
I don’t think I like that comparison. How about vagina=silk sandwich with a slathering of KY dressing? I mean, at least it’s appropriately vivid.
TW: It seems the Jews were right about circumcision.
That bothers me too. Aren’t swamps usually just teeming with all manner of flora and fauna?
Dear Straight Dope:
I am bad at fucking.
–Josh
Dear Josh:
Think about my snot-swamp, and cutting off part of your penis.
–Mojave66
If there’s water on the field, dive in!
Mmmmm… nah.
For some reason all I keep thinking about whenever I read this is Golden Grahams cereal. No idea why.