Via Drudge:
Star Jones has told viewers that the war on terror is nothing more than a clash of male egos between President Bush and Osama bin Laden, the NEW YORK POST reports.
Yesterday, the co-host of ABC’s THE VIEW told viewers during a discussion of bin Laden’s latest audio tape:
“You know what? At some point, one of these men has to put it back in his pants and zip up the zipper.”
She even suggested that Bush hold some kind of talk with the man behind 9/11.
“I won’t trust him, but anything that gives me the opportunity to seek peace, I would at least check it out.
“People make deals with the devil all the time. We make deals with people we don’t like,” she said.
“You don’t negotiate with terrorists,” said Elisabeth Hasselbeck, the show’s youngest host.
“You don’t negotiate,” Jones interrupted, “but I do think you figure out when there is a solution that’s diplomatic that doesn’t result in [loss of] human life.
“What do we have to lose to check it out?” Star said.
“You know what?” she then added, “At some point, one of these men has to put it back in his pants and zip up the zipper at some point.”
“This isn’t somebody whipping it out,” shot co-host Meredith Vieira.
“You know what, I’m a little tired of posturing back and forth,” Jones replied.
Well, if the Oprahfication of America has taught us anything, there is no “conflict” so complex that it can’t be reduced to unconscious fears of erectile dsyfunction and then cured by a sobering rhetorical bitchslap from a TV talk diva who has managed massive weight loss.
After all, if Star Jones can overcome that desire to stuff her ignorant maw with Godiva chocolates and entire Hickory Farms gift baskets, then surely the Islamists (who want to kill all infidels, or else force them to submit to dhimmitude and Sha’ria law) and George Bush (who just wants to act all Shaft-like baaadaassss, a Buford Pusser with unmanned drones and helicopter gunships instead of a big slab of hickory) can simply solve this whole “global war on terror” [read: men behaving badly because they have not been properly conditioned by the carefully-designed cultural fixes for male bluster and excessively-violent acting out detailed by Christina Hoff Sommers in her The War Against Boys] by slapping their warcocks on a big UN conference table, measuring the things, handing out a ribbon to the winner, and then getting on with the important business of 1) universalizing health care and curing breast cancer (US); and 2) making sure women are properly covered and beaten for stepping out of line (which includes being raped); religious apostates summarily executed, and homosexuals crushed beneath giant stone walls (the greater Muslim world).
And that’s that: “Talk to the hand, O-Sama!”
Anybody else wonder what those philosophical men in their bifocals and stockings and three cornered hats standing along the banks of the Hudson years ago dreaming of a free and prosperous country would have to say to people like Star Jones? Because my guess is, Benny Franklin, for instance, would suggest she be taken out behind ABC studios and beaten to within an inch of her life with a crate of Jenny Craig pre-packaged meals…
****
(h/t Dave Price)
Jesus.
If this is what passes for intelligent political conversation between modern American women, then it’s time to repeal the 19th amendment.
TV (Harry)
So rich, and so black. . .
Deeper…the fog on the mirror during my morning shave or Star Jones’ understanding of, well..anything? Discuss.
Someone please tell her that Chimpy allows her to say stupid things, whereas OBL would just have her pelted with rocks. Since they are morally equal and all…
Actually, Jeff, I think she may be on to something. Sometimes it just takes a person such as Star Jones, whose humility exceeds that of every other American, to show us that this war has nothing to do with 3,000 murders or anything, and everything to do with George Bush’s refusal to sit down for a good ole rap session with the OBL. And since the cast of the view is basically America’s brain trust, why don’t we send them to Waziristan to negotiate the final peace? If all else fails, Star now has enough loose skin to hide several kilos of C-4
Low Carb diet for her. I suggest a leg of lamb, whole brisket….oh, hell, just hit her with a side of beef.
“You don’t negotiate,†Jones interrupted, “but I do think you figure out when there is a solution that’s diplomatic that doesn’t result in [loss of] human life.<i>
You don’t negotiate, but you…negotiate.
TW: So much for the home <i>front.
My hat’s off to whatever masochist actually watches this crap to document the idiocy, I’ll say that much.
Osama’s latest missive indicates that he has become painfully aware of just what a tiny little war schlong he has, comparatively speaking. Doesn’t strike me as sensible to surrender when we’re winning.
And one other thing–I’m glad I was not raised by someone like her. No wonder so many boys and young men are such confused idiots nowadays.
Wonder what Drudge meant by the adjective “youngest”? As in young and naive, or, thank God, there’s hope for our future post baby-boomers.
Good ole’ Elisabeth “Survivor” Hasselbeck. The only conservative on that show, sticking to her guns. Hell, I’d almost root for her brother-in-law this weekend because of her… if I weren’t a Panthers fan.
Interesting to see that, while she may have lost weight throughout the rest of her body, the density remains high in Star Jones’ head.
And I think Ben would be too busy bitch-slapping most of DC to be truly worried about what some idiot on the talking demon box had to say.
TW: But if he had known, he might not have been so quick to break away from the british.
In my “reality” there is no such show as The View, nor are there any pretend-earnest, psuedo-smart folks who watch it. Of course in my “reality” there is only ESPN.
For heaven’s sake. These are the fruits of the frickin’ stupid “Creative Conflict Management for Kids” dreck my eight-year-old sits through every couple of weeks, in which it doesn’t matter whether one kid in a “conflict” is wrong, the aim is just to stop fighting at any cost. I saw it in action in my basement: a friend of my son’s, who is, God help him, a Conflict Manager at school, stepped in to mediate between my son and his little sister when the girl had flatly swiped something of my son’s. This Conflict Manager “negotiated a settlement” in which my son agreed, grumbling, to let her play with the thing for a while, then “have a turn.”
OK, now, I’ll do a lot for my daughter – she’s got my fairly well wrapped around her finger. But she did something wrong, something not allowed in our house (or in the outside world, last time I checked), and this fifth grader whose special training affords him the position of mediating all kinds of playground fights felt that the only appropriate response was to pressure the wronged party for concessions. Bah!
TW: You can’t “posture back and forth” if you’re dead.
“Star Jones” would, if I understand the language correctly, would mean an addiction to celebrity attention. An unusual bit of honesty.
She needs the Crichton “State of Fear†happy ending treatment. (no spoilers, but I love what happens to the limousine liberal environmental whackjob).
Bush should appoint here ambassador to al Queda and ship her straight to the Afghanistan/Pakistan border.
Hey Star,
You email a closeup shot of that sun-baked melon you call a head to any man in the world and I promise you, if his cock’s out when he sees it, he’ll put it away and zip it up faster than you suck-munch a tube of BBQ Pringles.
I’m not trying to be mean, I’m just sayin’
……..faster than you can suck-munch…..
FOCKER!!
Did anyone know that Star Jones is a…lawyer? I understand that she keeps it a secret.
Cunning stunt.
When I was a kid, “creative conflict management” meant calling in your big brother to help you beat up the gang of bullies that just beat you up.
TW: “weapon”—well, even back then we weren’t allowed to bring those to school.
How dare you impugn a proud member of the Gallery of the Absurd?
Hmmm.
Well. Reminds me of the Oslo Accords.
That’s more of a Bush 41 thing. Whether it’s al Qaeda or basic sentence formation, Bush 43 doesn’t walk away from a good fight.
<Springerese>Uh-UHHH. She DI-in’t. Somebody at The View needs to take out the trash, nomesayn? Kick that shit to the curb. Yo, s’up widdat, girlfriend?
</Springerese>
That was a beautiful rant. I laughed. I really did.
Mmmmm… Hickory Farms…
Well, they it is… if you lost Star Jones, you lost Welfare-Mother America…
And please excuse my chic urban patois. I just saw my first Nelly video and I am down with the vibe of the street…
reductio ad absurdum, e.g., Star Jones trying to shrink her ass to the size of a beachball.
TW “order” = “I’ll have an order of broiled chicken and 84 hot apple pies.”
Oh…Jeff would love Nelly!!
“…Ah’m not a man but a thundercat…”
Meanwhile, Oprah is going to have Bill Clinton and other “experts” on Monday to tell us about the threat from Osama. “It’s just frightening!”
I guess it’s progress that a Democrat is at least admitting there is a threat.
You don’t suppose this is to plug Hillary as a hawk? HAHA, even the Geena Davis as Hillary show is sinking in the ratings.