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“Things to do in Denver when you’re dead,” 3 (a philosophical meditation / Andy Garcia tribute post)

1.  Marshall Tucker Band Reunion concert, Red Rocks Amphitheater

2.  Broncos v Steelers AFC Championship game (generational)

3.  outlet shops at Castle Pines / Park Meadows Mall

4.  blackened Angus beef, 1” thick

5.  world-class mechanical bull competition, Grizzly Rose Bar

6.  Every Which Way But Loose retrospective tour

7.  John Elway Chrysler-Jeep

8.  Sauza Conmemorativo and Sandee H—closing time at the Denver Mattress Co.


9.  Wipe your hard drive of any leftover Asian anime porn and hide the Titan penis pump; because really, that’s your business—not some punchline for a wiseass County Coroner and his four geeky Friday night poker buddies.

15 Replies to ““Things to do in Denver when you’re dead,” 3 (a philosophical meditation / Andy Garcia tribute post)”

  1. Attila Girl says:

    You’re going to have to sleep at some point, you know.

  2. Brian says:

    I wish I found this disturbing. Sadly, I don’t.

  3. Beck says:

    10. Boone’s Farm, strawberry.

  4. ScienceMike says:

    Hide drive?  The boy *has* been up too late.

    tw: simply too late indeed.

  5. TallDave says:

    Dude, you want to know how lucky I am?  I not only don’t have to hide my lesbian porn, my asian gf actually demands I download it for her.

  6. B Moe says:

    I can’t figure out if it was supposed to be wipe your hard drive or wipe your hide dry, it kind of works either way.

  7. richard mcenroe says:

    You’re still using the Titan?

    Underachiever.

  8. richard mcenroe says:

    Yew Might Have An Anime Porn Problem

    If you…

    …hear the words “Japanese Cinema” and think of Dreamy Express Zone before you think of Kurosawa…

    …think you can write an entire feature film with only the lines, “Taskete!” “Yamete!” and “Iya!”…

    …hear the word “scat” and don’t think of jazz singing…

    …don’t understand why Fox hasn’t made La Blue Girl part of their Saturday morning line-up…

    …have to stay out of the mollusc house at the Aquarium…

    …burned a DVD of the That 70’s Show episode where Donna went to Catholic School…

    … think the Boy’s Own Book of Knots is a marital aid…

  9. KM says:

    You know that screamer downtown who’s always going on about blasphemers ‘n’ shit? He was asking about you.

  10. Didn’t they film Mork and Mindy in Denver? Is there a tour of their house and the Jonathan Winters egg?

  11. Boulder, I thought.

  12. – Actually theres some tourist shit to visit down in Golden. The Cabbies know where all the Korean message palors are, and Colorado springs is like one giant Sharkeys if you like redneck slop served by a frumpy waitress in running shoes, and a grease coated hairnet. Buba’s paradise….

    TW: Life in Bob’s boot world

  13. natesnake says:

    10.  Beat the patchouli stink out of some hippies with a wiffle ball bat.

  14. Boulder, I thought.

    No, it was an egg.

  15. Nishizono Shinji says:

    jesus mary and joseph!

    it’s only the 100th anniversary of the Nat’l Western Stock Show.

    i don’t believe you live in denver at all.

    satchel would so love the tractors and the dipping dots.

    >;-(

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