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red pills found behind the sofa cushions, prolepsis 11

Using state of the art nanotechnology, it takes a team of six agency surgeons —none of whom officially even exist, I’ve since learned—roughly fourteen hours to resuscitate and repair a certain sea monkey “asset,” whose drunken new year’s eve skinny dipping adventure ended when an escort named Laci, freshening up a batch of Cuervo 1800 frozen margaritas, unwittingly hit the ‘puree’ switch.

I’ll miss Laci, for what it’s worth—not least because she had an ass so tight you could bounce a quarter off of it.  But to be honest with you, between the “Rockford Files” season 1 DVDs and having to change a bunch of tiny bandages every 2 hours, I simply can’t give too much thought to some unlucky runaway last seen being escorted from the party by a dolphin aquaintance of mine—who, rumor has it, makes it a point to carry a 9 mm Deer gun and keeps the trunk of his Caddy lined with industrial-grade plastic…

23 Replies to “red pills found behind the sofa cushions, prolepsis 11”

  1. JWebb says:

    I demand RPFBSF appendices!

    And footnotes!

  2. Jeff Goldstein says:

    If anyone asks, today’s passwords are “funnel cake.”

  3. cranky-d says:

    I’m still trying to work out what a 9mm Deer gun is.  I’ll get back to you after I figure it out.  The rest of the post made absolute sense to me, but my thinking is aided by Jameson.

  4. Attila Girl says:

    I think he meant 9mm “Dear” gun. That’s one you particularly like.

  5. J. Steed says:

    So Mrs. Peel and I aren’t needed?

  6. Joe says:

    9MM is a handgun or SMG cartridge, Jeff; a little underpowered for deer, but just right for careless escorts. Which is probably what you meant, since you frequently confuse “hand” and “dear” …

    Regardless, there’s nobody better at “wet work” than the dolphin. So, you’re in good hands … or, uh, dears … well, you know.

  7. harrison says:

    9MM is a handgun or SMG cartridge, Jeff; a little underpowered for deer…

    Joe,

    Not if he’s tied to a chair and you’re tired of asking him questions.

  8. BKWillis says:

    The term ‘Deer Gun’ was the cover name for a Vietnam-era version of the old ‘Liberator’ single-shot disposable assassination pistols from WW2.  The ‘Deer Guns’ were meant to be air-dropped for Vietnamese villagers to use against the Communists, until somebody realized that the VC could use them just as easily, so the whole project was abandoned.

  9. Joe says:

    Well, I’ll be damned. Never heard of that one before. I’ve seen a Liberator, but not a Deer Gun.

    Thanks, BKWillis!

  10. mojo says:

    Yeah, too bad about Laci, but these things happen. Knowing that fishy bastard’s methods, I’d say she’ll be peddling her firm young ass on Red Square within the week.

    Might be worth a trip.

    SB: maybe

  11. Ric Locke says:

    The term ‘Deer Gun’ was the cover name for a Vietnam-era version of the old ‘Liberator’ single-shot disposable assassination pistols from WW2.

    <cough>

    <splutter>

    BUUUWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!

  12. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Deer gun

  13. ScienceMike says:

    The Rockford Files is out on DVD?  Hot damn but I love modern technology!

  14. cranky-d says:

    I’ve learned something today about firearms history.  Thanks Protein Wisdom!

  15. The Deer gun is definitely an obscure reference.

  16. Partisan Pundit says:

    I stil don’t see where the armadillo plays in all this….

  17. M. Helm says:

    I stil don’t see where the armadillo plays in all this….

    Need to know, Partisan Pundit.  Need to know.

  18. Eeva says:

    Excellent Post, thanx for sharing the same.. Will keep on reading the post :D Stumbled yourpost .. cheers

  19. Gizb0 says:

    Great Article..thanks for sharing…don’t forget the deer gun..lol

    cheers,
    Replace Sofa Cushions

  20. Great article and interesting facts… Stumbled upon this and will stumble it for others

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  22. sesliyes says:

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