I have a bit of a tightness / burning in the left side of my chest, accompanied by a lack of appetite and a dry mouth. Occasionally, I get chills – mostly in waves, through my arms and legs. I also feel it in my cheeks. I feel weak overall.
I’ve taken an Ativan, which has gotten rid of the discomfort in the left side of my chest, but my mouth is still quite dry, my appetite has abadoned me, and I’m still quite tired. I plan on spending as much time as I can today in bed. Tomorrow I head to the GP for some blood work.
Any ideas?
Unlike some of our friends, Jeff–I won’t diagnose without details.
Get well.
Dammit.
No, but John Bolton’s mustache Regis is my go to guy on all things medical. Take care.
Sounds like a type of the flu and the anxiety
that comes from the uncertainty.
I won’t diagnose, but I agree with the bed rest and doctor. Get well.
Have you had contact with any farm animals recently?
(That question is more serious than it may first appear.)
If not, what are the chances that you have some sort of mold, dust or other contaminant in your house?
I’d recommend a a trip to the local gentlemen’s establishment to unwind. If that doesn’t work being the dr’s finger puppet always puts the boss in a bright and happy mood. Of course I think he has to pay extra for all the “unnecessary” prostate checkups.
Diarrhea?
Nasty. What type of sicko would get his prostate checked when he’s doing the green apple two step?
Get well soon–and a full workup, cardiac and all!
Sorry about that. As soon as someone says they’re sick, I instantly assume they have diarrhea.
When a colleague is out sick and someone requests them on the phone, I always tell them that “they are home sick with diarrhea.” I always enjoy the moment of silence on the other end of the line.
Could that be considered character assassination?
Did you know that Armadillos can carry Leprosy?
Could that be considered character assassination?
Nah, but my outing Jeff’s penchant for prostate checkups might be.
As long as it isn’t what Sharon’s got, you’ll be okay. Still, see a doctor if symptoms persist.
A day early, Joel.
But nice try.
Natesnake on the other hand…your mom is worried…very, very worried.
Multiple shots of heavily-peppered Vodka.
Watch some Armadillo dancing.
Dr. This&That
I figured you must be feeling ill, since there were no posts.
I’ll send you over a candy striper who bears a striking resemblance to Liz Hurley with 38DD casabas. She can cure anything!
Are you a Trojan fan? (USC, I mean)
Are you the only one in the house with symptoms?
Ativan by itself can cause dry mouth, or aggravate it. For comfort unti you see the doc, try a mouthwash for dry mouth.
red Pills- hello?
Try not to french-kiss any Asian poultry or waterfowl. Anymore.
Turing = start, as in Be smart, don’t start.
Some of that smokable herb will restore your appetite.
I heard that you were feeling ill/
Fever, shivers, and a chill/
well now I’m here to pluck you up/
ah heck you know the rest… Door slams, Louie Anderson looks all distraught because he already had an idea John was going to cut out all his speaking lines. Just a honk and a wave. The extra scene with Rooney and the telegram stripper was a pitty fuck, and he knew it.
Hope it’s nothing serious, Jeff. Take it easy, and if it’s the flu, take as many placebos as necessary.
Broad range of symptoms so the diagnostic suggestions could be broad. Ativan does not relieve cardiac symptoms; it does act as a relaxant, however. Blood work including mono and strep screen with diabetes and multiple cardiac rule-outs (can’t remember names of tests). EKG for cardiac rule-out. Chest X-Ray for pneumonia ruleout. I’m not a doctor so this is not a diagnosis; just some of the diagnostics tests you should be expecting per consensus of several nurses with whom I work. And you should be getting them now; do not wait until tomorrow even if it means going to the emergency room. This does not necessarily mean you have a true emergent situation so I don’t wish to alarm you unnecessarily, only that you could possibly have a condition (pneumonia or strep, for example) that is best treated when caught soonest. And pneumonia can evolve into a debilitating and even life-threatening situation in even younger patients like yourself. Good luck.
Chest x-ray not only for pneumonia rule-out, my bad, but for range of pulmonary problems. I said I wasn’t a doctor!
I have a bit of a tightness / burning in the left side of my chest, accompanied by a lack of appetite and a dry mouth. Occasionally, I get chills – mostly in waves, through my arms and legs. I also feel it in my cheeks. I feel weak overall.
I had similar symptoms from blood poisoning due to recurrent cellulitis. Do any areas of your skin seem inflammed or sore?
However diagnosis at a distance is stupid. Try crawling into a hot bath if the chills get too much – it worked for me.
One word. Xanax.
I recommend exorcism.
You may have picked up a virus when you were at glenngreenwald.blogspot the other day. Never know what’s in the fever swamp.
Get well soon.
Bloggeritis (noun): normal side effect from wearing pajamas for 3 weeks without washing them.
Who do I look like? Bill Frist?
sounds like the aids to me, though…put a raincoat on, fella
Sounds like rabies.
Maybe you shouldv’e seen your GP before using Ativan…
Self-prescription isn’t the solution: look at what happened to Dick Cheney’s heart- not to mention boy George’s brains!
Anyhoo, hope you’ll get well soon: we don’t want to loose our favorite reactionary Pharisee to a nasty bout of flu cum melancholy…
Dr Victorino de la Vega is in da house as they say in Ibiza
Sounds like consumption, with a touch of the vapors.
What a pussy. In my day, if you had a heart attack, you swallowed an aspirin with your left hand and pounded your ticker back into rhythm with the right hand!
But seriously, feel better.
take care. hope it’s not serious.
I recommend leeches. Plenty of leeches.
What?! None of you ever tried 16th Century medicine before?
screw the leeches! He needs a priest right away.
Get well soon Jeff. I’m bored at work and need you to blog as a diversion!
Shouldn’t have eaten the armadillo without first dipping it into a luscious bath of molten cheese.
any ideas?
Plenty, but none likely to make you feel any better. Although, if you do go with the leeches, make sure they’re sauteed in extra virgin olive oil, with lots of garlic. Appetite or no appetite, no way those would last long enough to get cold.
But don’t let the ‘dillo cook ‘em – little bastage probably slipped you something that started the whole episode in the first place.
Not being a doctor I will attempt no diagnosis. However I can prescribe some remedies, keeping in mind, “First, do no harm”.
1) Hot bath while reading “Calvin & Hobbs Anthology”
2) Deep tissue massage by a luscious BB naked masseuse (Certified of course)
3) A blow job never hurts. Receiving end of course.
4) Lots of citrus juice.
5) Did I mention the blow job?
6) Deep sleep (Not permanent)
Seriously, get yer ass to a medical facility as soon as possible and get checked over.
See if this cheers you up: I just hit the tip jar and the ‘dillo didn’t even dance.
screw the leeches! He needs a priest right away.
I don’t think priests like to screw leeches.
Weirdo.
Now, that’s kinky.
Sounds like this year’s nasty flu bug going around. I was a earlier victim. Old advice, rest, fluids and something like motrin or asperin. Otherwise, just prepare to suffer through it for several days. It’s not fun, sorry guy.
BTW, have you noticed that Patterico’s site is not available since his response to the LAT’s artice on him? Sabotage?
Jeff, I had the same thing when I first came to Alaska. I was diagnosed with MSB (massive sperm build-up). Yup, I sure made some girls in Anchorage happy that weekend. Well………they did make enough $$$$$ to take the next couple of weeks off. After that I took the problem firmly in hand and haven’t had any problems since.
Good Luck
Gosh, Jeff I’m sorry to hear this. Do you have a fever? Hope the doctor tomorrow just tells you it’s the flu or something like that.
*Chanelling Lubavitch rabbi.* Pray Tehillim. And check your mezuzos. Here, take this dollar bill. *Exit Lubavitch rabbi.*
TW: worked. It worked for the Lubavitcher Rebbe.
Don’t drop your wallet and keep your back to the wall at all times.
Take care of yourself, Jeff. You’ll be better before the ‘dillo dances.
Hey Man,
Well you’re obviously kind of freaked out, otherwise the Ativan would have just made you stupid, and the lack of appetite rules out Monsterbonghititus
If I’m not mistaken, you’re about the age I was when I started developing allergies to mountain juniper. Here in Austin they call it “cedar fever,” so named because you feel like you have a fever with the chills even though your temperature is normal. One allergy season I was determined to move to any place where there was no cedar (mountain juniper), and discovered during my research that, to my deep dismay, it’s prevalent in many states, including Colorado.
The only reason I mention it is because it took me three years of getting “sick” around the same time each year before I realized what it was; until then I’d never been allergic to anything in my life and thus had no real point of reference. I figured out it wasn’t a cold or flu when the symptoms would persist far longer (up to two months) than either of those illnesses.
Anyhoo, it’s cedar season now and if you want to find out if it’s allergies that’ve got you down just take a good dose of antihistamine, preferrably Allegra, and see if your symptoms, especially the chills, suddenly abate for awhile. It can’t hurt, anyway.
Get better/
peter.
TW: days, as in these are the good ol’ days…
It could well be the flu, but see that doctor in any event. Best wishes and a speedy recovery.
Ativan? You nut.
I have always wondered if one could take Viagra, then attach leeches to ones dong, and make them explode. I’ve seen that done with mosquitos.
Perhaps at my kids next birthday party. Clowns are scary.
BIRD FLU!! Gweilo lo fa’an!
Bring out your dead…!
Bring out your dead…!
Jeff- I will take it upon myself to worry about you.
I hope your ativan was prescribed to you, and that you aren’t indulging in self-prescription. Drink liquids.
rls- really? When a guy has chest pain, no appetite, chills, and weakness a blowjob still sounds appealing?
I prescribe the portion of Blue Collar Comedy Tour featuring Ron “Tater Salad” White.
* bites lip, shakes head, and leaves the room quietly *
Second McGeehee, and submit for additional consideration the “Rick James – Charley Murphy True Hollywood Stories” segment from the second season of Chappelle Show.
I think my husband turned down a bj when he was passing a kidney stone. But, I bet if I had really pressed the issue, I could have had ‘em.
Hope you feel better soon Jeff.
Bane, did you say that you attached mosquitos to your dong to make them explode?
Could be cyanide poisoning. How much life insurance do you have? Has the wife been especially nice to you lately?
If any extremities turn green and smell mossy, then it’s gangrene. In that case, apply a priest and don’t worry about calling amyone in the morning.
Ativan’s the kind of thing they prescribe to senile violent seniors to calm them down and make them manageable. I’ve seen it done personally. So, if your symptoms are oh, say, a side-effect of the medication, might I suggest an alternative such as thorazine? PCP?
tw: If you aren’t taking drugs, start…
As a guy, I’m afraid the answer is “yes.”
Take care and feel better, Jeff.
Lots and lots of Vitamin P.
Uh oh. Spamword, “final.” Hope that’s not an omen.
Disclaimer: I won’t even begin to pretend to be a doctor.
Well, as another commentor said, the chest tightness might just be anxiety. I get that sometimes when I’m worried about my health–even when I know it’s anxiety it feels like bloody hell. Ibuprofin can help for the chills, and ought to be safe to take–even when malaria hits me, this helps.
And yeah, see a doctor! Hope you feel better soon.
Sounds like many of the symptoms of a strain of strep running around here lately that had me down for four days. In any event, I hope you feel better.
Sure Jeff, just after I send you a check for DVDs you up and die on me?
Figures.
If you survive, be sure and check the expiration date on the frozen Armadillo burgers next time…
But seriously, being that you just turned your head and coughed a few weeks ago in the ER, you’re probably going to be allright.
Dutch Elm Disease.
Get to an emergency room ASAP.
Get a blood test, a chest x-ray and an EKG
to rule out MI. Don’t wait.
Joe E O
P.S. You are medicating yourself with a benzodiazepine for chest pain? Perhaps you need to address this issue with a psychiatrist? Did your GP./PCP perscribe these for you?
Joe, I think he went to the ER a while ago with similar symptoms. Probably got the Ativan then.
It is probably the flu.
Cooties.
It’s a tumor.
Best amputate, just to be safe.
How long will you torment your minions with these incessant sympathy pleas? BECAUSE OF THE GAY PORN COCK OF SHAME!!
Wait a minute, it must be something to do with that tranny hooker you picked up in Larimer Square last month when we slamming those absinthe shots with amyl nitrate hits. I just remembered my middle name 4 days ago. I don’t really use it much so it wasn’t such a big deal. I know you know the Ativan was recreational, don’t even TRY to tell me you were actually addressing a medical condition with that shit.
When all else fails do drugs……
Potato famine.
Killed millions of Irish.
By the way, if you had done this during the Weblog awards, you probably would have won. Or at least finished ahead of one of the comic strips.
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Well, I’m not thinking about blowjobs all the time and my heart and limbs feel fine.
Therefore, I can only conclude that thinking about blowjobs is what’s ailing him.
Jeff – you sound kinda bunged up too…
Would you like me to come over in my nursey outfit and try to kiss it better?
xxx
Roberta
Gonorrhea?
Herpes?
Jungle rot?
Athletes foot?
Gypsy moths?
Blown head gasket seal?
Colic?
A wicked case of the grumpies?
Green apple splatters?
Milk leg.
Or perhaps a case of veisalgia
I think you dun got dem scabies.
Sounds like someone’s got a case of the Mondays.
Sorry, Jeff, someone had to say it. I hope you’re feeling better today and that it was something very temporary and easily correctable.
We’re all sending you best wishes.
Take care, Jeff, see a doctor, and don’t worry.
Jeff, sounds like an anxiety attack. I used to get these all the time, felt all the while like I was going to die from a heart attack. Mine had an underlying physical cause (bad cartilage in my ribcage) that triggered and combined with worry over the specific symptom (left side chest pain) to exacerbate them.
By all means see a doctor right away. In the meantime take deep breaths, maybe open a window a little where you work (in some people CO2 is a trigger). Chew gum for the dry mouth.
I think I’m with DrSomethingOrOther Steve, Jeff. Please do see a doctor, get the blood work done, but do also make sure they consider early-onset clinical depression along with anxiety attacks. I’m serious. Few years ago I had nearly identical symptoms – no appetite, constant fatigue, flashes that felt like numbing electric shocks traversing one muscle group or another (often facial muscles and cheeks), and sometimes crushing chest pains that particularly got my attention. Thoughts of suicide popped up a couple times, even. Had all kinds of blood analysis, every orifice probed multiple times (some less enjoyable than others), and basically got a pure clean bill of health medically. Symptoms persisted, though, until I got some serious personal and career issues resolved.
Short answer:
1) see your doctor
2) lighten up and know how much you’re appreciated out here.
Thanks.
IT’S NOT A TUMOR!
Get well soon.
My guess is food poisoning.
I’d say drink lots of water, take a couple grams of C every few hours. That never hurts.
Oh, btw I say the above because I had very similar symptoms about a week ago. First time I’ve been noticeably sick in 10 years. First sick day I’ve taken in that time, too. I attributed it to leftover Christmas turkey that wasn’t properly refrigerated.
Turing: theory. That’s mine.
Just checking in to see how your prostate check went.
Sometimes those are symptoms of pregnancy. Get a home test from the drug store to find out.
I second what the depression/or anxiety crowd. Depression can have markedly physical symptoms. When I used to have anxiety attacks they felt something like what you describe–sometimes to the point of feeling it truly was heart-related.
Get your ticker checked out, but after that consider talking to the doc about stress levels, etc. It may even be a seasonal thing as this time of year is hard on people who need lots of sun to feel like themselves. Hang in there, Jeff.
Would an inflatable midget love doll cheer you up? It comes with lube, cleaning solution, and a bonus DVD. Huh, huh, how does that make you feel little fella?
Oh, I should also say that it’s barely been used.
I’m not a doctor – but I play one on TV.
One word, Jeff: ZiCam. Its too late for this bout, but next time your throat tickles, pop a Zicam under your tongue.
Coating your buccal and esophageal epithelia with zinc precipitate lyses microbes, denatures viruses, promotes sloughing of surface cells, and stimulates mucous production.
Get well, soon.
-Steve
The flu is God’s punishment for making jokes he doesn’t always understand.
I’m not sure “midget” is a pc way to describe your doll.
To avoid offending any further you might amend to “Itty Bitty Betty Cockaholic Doll”
….unless it’s the “Little Johnny Cockalot Doll”
……..no judgment, just sayin.
It is if the vendor is trying to avoid prosecution.
If you catch my drift.
In the river of maladies, your chest pain is merely a blip.
Don’t you know that there are women all over the world whose breasts are beginning to sag.
SAGGING MAN!
Get some perspective and call me in the morning.
Jake